A/N: Okay here's more and this one will have lots of MisaoxAoshi moments but there is also going to be some more TenmaxAoshi sprinklings to give you guys more of a taste of that possible plot twister I mentioned! Once again, RRs and DON'T FORGET TO VOTE!
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A full week has passed since the arrival of Tenma Yorihisa and Kagerou and the Kouga and Iga clan were making very good headway with negotiations for the treaty. It had already been agreed upon that each clan would send a select number of their ninja warriors to join with each other, thereby strengthening the bonds between their peoples as well as to show support.
At the end of the week, Aoshi had selected ten of his best ninja soldiers-five from the Iga family of Hattori and five from the Iga family of Tanaba Momochi. He sent them in the care of Tenma Yorihisa, to return to the region of the Kouga and in a few days' time after their departure, Aoshi received ten of the Iga ninja as well, one of which bore a message from Gennosuke, stating he had received Aoshi's ninja and pledged that they would be treated equally as though they were of his own family.
News of the impending alliance spread like wild fire to the rest of the Iga clans and soon, they were making the journey to their Okashira and offering their support as well as reaffirming their loyalties.
Misao felt as if she would go out of her mind with how many Iga ninja were flowing in and out of the Inn at all hours of the day and night; it was almost impossible to keep up with the food preparations but they were also hard pressed to find sufficient space to house all of their guests.
Misao did what she could to help Omasu and Okon but with only three of them, the tasks were neverending.
But Misao didn't slow down and she worked tirelessly around the clock, even after Omasu and Okon had dragged themselves to their rooms to catch a few hours of sleep before dawn arrived.
It was almost two weeks now, and Tenma still had not returned, though he had sent word to Kagerou of his impending departure from Kouga.
Misao found herself missing his company though the young ninja was stoic and rarely spoke a word, she still enjoyed him because he seemed perfectly content to just sit quietly by her and listen to her prattle away about whatever nonsense she pleased. She'd never really had that before; someone to listen to her and never tire of her chatter, even if it seemed from outside appearances that Tenma was utterly bored, he always assured her it was the latter, whenever she would ask him if she was exhausting or annoying him.
"Not at all, Misao-san; your stories interest me very much so I do not mind at all listening to them."
Sometimes he would even say this with the hint of a smile on his face but that was very rare, yet still Misao was content enough with his words and found that she didn't need a smile or a look of the eyes to reassure her.
She was crouched out on the engawa one evening, beating out one of the matts as her thoughts were consumed with Tenma and she couldn't help but smile and laugh quietly to herself.
Oh Tenma Yorihisa was a very strange man indeed-but she found his oddities ammusing and she truly liked him.
Just then, footsteps sounded behind her and she stood to her feet. "Omasu-san, I just finished the last matt for-"
She froze when her eyes landed on Aoshi's serene expression.
She hadn't expected him, having not seen much of him over the last several days.
But she knew he was very busy; they all were.
"Aoshi-sama! I-I'm sorry I wasn't expecting you."
"You are still hard at work I see." His deep voice was very calm but somehow it sounded so overpowering in the quietness of the night air.
"I-yes. We have so many guests from our fellow Iga that it's been quite a terror trying to keep up with everything but I find that if there's at least one of us working late into the nights, we are able to manage it just fine." She smiled a little at this, feeling proud at shouldering such a huge responsibility.
"But even Omasu and Okon take a few hours of sleep at least...you should do the same, Misao."
"I'm alright." She answered, smiling still as she looked up at him.
Aoshi shook his head; she never listened to him anyway so he didn't know why he even bothered.
But then again, the answer was simple; he cared for her too much, not to say anything.
"Misao, you are far too ambitious for your own good. I fear you have this notion that you can take on the problems of the universe and still find a perfect solution to them."
Misao had to burst out laughing at Aoshi's peculiar-yet surprisingly accurate-description of her.
"I suppose I do believe that, in a way. I find it positively hilarious that you've sensed that in me as well." She was still giggling mirthfully to herself and Aoshi became entranced in the way her eyes caught the rays of the moonlight, making them glitter and dance as she continued to smile.
"Well I've known you your whole life, Misao-does it really surprise you that much that I know you so well?" He asked her, fixing her with an earnest and curious stare.
"To be honest? Not really-I just-I just think it's-almost surreal how you spent so many years away and yet you still-remember everything about me, even the little things and no one else does..." She trailed off, turning her face away and staring wistfully at a firefly that had just landed on the railing near her.
Aoshi watched her for a long moment, studying every line in her face, every strand of her hair and noticing every rise and fall of her breast as she breathed in and out.
"The fault was mine-and it still weighs heavily on me to this day."
Misao turned and tilted her head to the side, staring at Aoshi quizzically.
He was so cryptic at times but then other times, he'd say the oddest things-so plainly, yet she was still bereffed of understanding him.
"Aoshi-sama you-you say some of the strangest things, even when you speak plainly like you are now. I don't understand why you are always so-swept up in the past?"
He looked away from her and off into the distance. His eyes were faraway like they were gazing into another time. "Perhaps it is because I have many things in the past that I regret-mostly you." He'd suddenly turned back to look at her, his eyes were now intense and focused.
Misao squirmed under the intensity of his azure eyes and she cursed the traitorous blush staining her cheeks.
Why did he still make her feel this way?
Why couldn't she smother and suffocate this emotion into non-existence?!
She felt warm, calloused fingers brushing along her cheek and her eyes snapped up to lock with steel blue.
"Misao-I know you wonder why I always linger in the past-and I know you think I have forgiveness-but-I haven't asked for forgiveness because I know I don't deserve it. Especially not yours-I have hurt you the most and nothing I could ever do or say will make it better or change it."
Misao shook her head, reaching up and wrapping her fingers around his wrist and looking into his eyes, imploringly. "No-no Aoshi-sama you are wrong. You think you don't have my forgiveness because you don't deserve it but you don't have my forgiveness because you have not forgiven yourself."
Aoshi's eyes widened and a shuddering breath escaped his parted lips.
"You don't realize that you do have all the forgiveness in the world because you cannot forgive yourself and until then, you will never feel that you have been forgiven.
I've learned that forgiveness is a two-way street; you can give it, but if the person refuses to accept it, then they will never have it."
"Misao..."
Misao's hand covered Aoshi's and she pressed it against her cheek as she looked up at him with wide, honest eyes that left him breathless. "You must forgive yourself, Aoshi-or you will always push away the ones who love you most-and it will be no one's fault but yours."
"...forgive...myself. How can I?" He gasped helplessly, turning his face away from her.
Misao's heart ached deeply for him; she knew he was so consumed with darkness that it was nearly impossible for him to see a way out.
She would never fully understand the darkness that overshadowed Aoshi's heart but she knew that whatever it was, she'd wished with all her heart to be there at his side to carry it with him and she never wanted him to feel alone.
But Aoshi was far too stubbourn and he was of a mind that keeping her away from him was protecting her and so he had done for nearly all of her life...
...yet in rescent months, he had suddenly begun to let down his iron walls, letting her in little by little and a part of her was convinced that it was his way of showing her that he wanted her.
He wanted to let her in and have her be a part of this life with him...
...but once she was close, he would pull back and his walls would go back up, once again shutting her out.
She was so perplexed by Aoshi's constant push-and-pull that she had been forced to push him away which had been the hardest thing she'd ever done for it was the last thing she'd ever wanted!
But what else could she do?!
"No one else has the answer, Aoshi-sama-only you hold the answers that you seek but you have to be willing to let go of your pain-and hatred of yourself-and look inside your heart." She pressed her free hand against his chest where his heart was, as she spoke.
The moment Aoshi felt Misao's tiny hand pressing against him, a little part of him cracked and he felt her warmth chiseling away at the icy shards surrounding his black heart.
He covered her hand with his own and then raised it to his lips as he gently pulled her into his arms. "I do not know-what I have done to deserve the warmth of your kindness, Misao-" He chanced pressing a soft kiss to the side of her wrist and his heart nearly leapt from his chest when he felt Misao graze her lips against the palm of his other hand that was still cradled aganst her cheek.
"I do know this-you have been my one-and only light."
Misao inhaled sharply at his words.
Me? I've-I've been Aoshi-sama's-light?!
"I would have been lost long ago if it wasn't for you-arigatou." He closed his eyes, holding her tighter, as if afraid she would disappear from him forever.
There were so many things he wanted to tell Misao; some of them, she already knew but there were still so many words left unsaid between them and he longed to show her just how deeply and passionately he felt for her.
But he knew she didn't completely trust him so he would wait patiently-as long as it took, he knew he would always wait for her.
For now, just this moment was enough for Aoshi; he was content and happy, just quietly holding Misao in his arms and having her close was more than enough for him.
It was more than he could have asked for.
# # # #
2 Days later...
Misao was out hanging the morning wash when Lady Kagerou appeared out on the engawa. She stood with her hands folded delicately in front of her and ocassionally, she would run absent fingers through her hair as though she were preening herself.
Misao stood on the opposite side of the clothes line and from her vantage point, she could quietly observe Kagerou without having to worry about being caught staring.
She really was regal and beautiful. There was no denying Lady Kagerou's elegance; even when she wore nothing more than a simple mauve kimono with a plumb obi, she made it look like it was the most expensive of fine silken linens.
"Good morning, Kagerou-sama! Misao greeted cherrily.
She was astonished however when she received no response from Kagerou.
In fact, Kagerou barely glanced in her direction as she practically floated down the steps and walked passed her.
Misao's brow furrowed in confusion as she took up another sheet and proceeded to hang it up on the line.
But even more shocking was when Kagerou had passed her, the tall ninja woman suddenly halted and turned to look at Misao over her shoulder.
Her brow arched hautily as she eyed Misao up and down, critically.
Misao scoffed distastefully but kept her eye on the woman, curious to see what she would do next.
Just then, the sound of precise heavy footfalls echoed through the morning air and both women turned to see Aoshi coming down the mountain path that led to the temple.
Misao was about to take step forward but stopped dead when Kagerou turned a challenging eye on her and barely masked a scournful smile as she herself hurried to meet Aoshi.
Misao gaped at her retreating form. She couldn't believe the boldness and rudeness of the woman!
What was the simpering smirk for anyway?! Was Kagerou challenging her?
Just then, her eyes darted to where Kagerou was now talking very animatedly with Aoshi.
Her eyes sparkled and she gazed up at him with the most sickeningly sweet smile as she spoke; Misao narrowed her eyes disdainfully; the woman was practically throwing herself at Aoshi-sama!
She was about to turn away when out of the corner of her eye, she caught Kagerou's hand as she touched Aoshi's arm, laughing at something he had said.
Misao's eyes widened and then her blood boiled, her cheeks burning a bright red.
Who. Does she think she is. Touching Aoshi-sama with such familiarity?! She barely knows him! And why in the hell is he just letting her, like he doesn't even notice...or does...does he not mind her touching him?
Suddenly, Misao's brain overloaded and sudden tears came to her eyes. She turned away from the painful, infuriating sight and fiercely brushed away her angry tears with the back of her hand.
She didn't know why she was feeling this way; so angry and hurt all at once but all she knew is she couldn't bare to watch them any longer and she fled to the house.
She'd reached the door when the sound of horse's hooves sounded and she turned back to see the proud figure of Tenma riding up through the gate, his horse skidding to a halt in the courtyard.
At the sight of him, Misao felt incredible relief wash over her and a few more tears slid down her cheeks though she wasn't sure if it was from relief at seeing him, or hurt from what she witnessed earlier between Kagerou and Aoshi.
"Misao-san." Tenma greeted, dismounting and walking towards her.
His face was serene as always but there was a rare smile lighting up his eyes and it took Misao a bit off guard.
"Tenma-sama." She greeted, smiling back.
But Tenma stopped abruptly at the base of the steps, studying Misao's face.
Her eyes were misty and slightly red-rimmed and her posture was tense.
Tenma's smiling eyes dimmed and his lips drew into a frown. "Misao-san, are you alright?"
"W-what?"
"Your eyes...they're red. And you seem distressed..."
Misao looked away, attempting to cover it up as she reached across and brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes.
Tenma observed her closely. Her aura was tense and unbalanced and he could see the the barely-concealed pain in her eyes.
He was about to say something when Aoshi appeared halfway acorss the courtyard with Kagerou behind him.
"Yorihisa-sama, I see you have returned." Aoshi greeted him.
"Yes Shinomori-sama, just now but I was-"
His attention was suddenly drawn away and back towards Misao who abruptly turned and disappeared into the house, hastily sliding the shoji shut behind her.
"Was-?" Aoshi's voice dropped off when he caught the peculiar look crossing Tenma's face.
"Forgive me, Shinomori-sama-but I have something to attend to." He bowed at the waist, nodded to Kagerou and disappeared inside.
Misao's obvious distress distubed Tenma but he couldn't fully explain what he felt-the sudden and intense need to go after her.
It was over an hour before Tenma discovered Misao in a grove of sakura trees, just inside the boundary of the woods, surrounding the rear courtyard of the Aoiya.
When he came upon her, her back was turned and upon closer inspection, she appeared to be staring off into nothingness, a blank, empty expression on her face.
He was about five feet from her when he stopped. "Misao-san." He called her name softly, not wanting to startle her.
She didn't turn around. "How did you find me?" Her voice was weak and barely above a whisper.
He took a careful step towards her. "I'm known in my clan for my tracking skills; I not only detect disrupted places in the ground, indicating a trail but I can also sense the person I'm traking...their smell, their aura..."
Misao let out a small hurmorless laugh. "I should've known hiding from a Kouga ninja would be pointless." She slowly turned around to face him.
Tenma's eyes widened when he saw her face.
It was tear-stained and her eyes were red and swollen from crying.
She looked weak and broken.
-It nearly broke his heart.
"Misao..."
A little light came back into Misao's eyes when she heard Tenma say just her name and she looked right at him.
Tenma went breathless at the way she looked at him.
She looked so broken with the tears running down her porcelain cheeks but at the same time, he couldn't believe how beautiful she looked.
Tenma had never seen any woman who was so strong, yet so fragile.
So broken, yet so beautiful at the same time.
"Misao-chan-what happened? Please tell me so that I can help you."
She shook her head, knowing no one could asuage her pain. "It's nothing. There is nothing you can do."
Tenma turned his eyes back toward the Aoiya, catching sight of Aoshi's figure standing out on the back engawa with Okina.
"Hmm." He murmered contemplatively and then looked back at Misao with serious eyes. "Is it Shinomori-sama?"
At the mention of his name, Misao flinched.
Tenma had his answer.
"Forgive me, Misao-chan-but I must ask this, even though-I already know the answer."
Misao cringed inwardly, fearful of what inevitable came next. Please, Tenma-sama-do not ask me, don't make me say it!
"Are you in love-with Shinomori-sama?" It hardly sounded like a question.
Misao sighed in defeat, a lone tear slipping down her cheek. "If there was-any possible way-for me to not love-believe me, I would find it. And I would take it." Her voice came out in a bitter whisper as she turned her back on him.
"I've spent-all of my life, knowing no other family besides Aoshi-sama-and then Gramps and the rest became my family when he left me so he could-go out and become the strongest fighter. I've never known anything else! And perhaps that is partly to blame for it.
But I-I hate the way I feel; it is the most painful-and devastating emotion this-love." She practically spat out the word like it tasted bitter on her tongue. "I wish there was never such a thing as 'love', I wish to gods that it never existed because-it is nothing but pain, sorrow, hatred and-"
Tenma reached her in three strides and his blue eyes bore into hers beseachingly. "MIsao-chan, you cannot mean such things; it is-painful perhaps but love is what makes us human and it is the only thing that can complete the missing half of our souls-"
But Misao shook her head adamentally. "No. No, Tenma-sama I can't-I can't believe that! Maybe at one time, I did; there was a time I held-so much childish hope and such-high expectations of 'love' because I was so happy and content in the 'love' I cherished but-I was nothing more than a foolish child with equally foolish notions. There is nothing in 'love' that appeals to me now; it only brings me heartache-and I don't want anything to do with it anymore." She hung her head, brushing angrily at a few tears."
Tenma's whole body chilled at Misao's words of disdain. Could someone so young with so much beauty and compassion have this much hatred towards the idea of love?
Clearly, her experience-whatever it entailed-had been extremely painful for her and he could see it had broken her spirit in many respects...
...but he couldn't bring himself to fully believe that she had given up-not yet. Not when she had her whole life before her-not when she had so much promise-
Not when he was-
"Comen-I didn't mean to-blurt all that out to you I-I-that was rude of me."
"Misao..." She turned only to find Tenma's hand settling against her cheek and his eyes burying themselves in hers as he spoke gently and calmly.
"I don't pretend to know the pain that you have suffered-but-I do believe that someone like you-could deserve no other future than one that is filled to overflowing with happiness-I hope-that you will not give up on that hope, completely."
Misao looked up into his eyes, carefully searching the swirling hues of sky and ocean blues and at one moment, she saw-something that made her self-conscious and she blushed, averting her eyes to the ground.
Tenma's fingers slid down to cup her chin and he coaxed her to meet his gaze once more.
"At the very least-allow me to hold to that hope, for you."
Misao's lips parted with a shaky exhale. She sensed a deeper meaning behind Tenma's words but she couldn't bring herself to formulate any kind of response or query-so she tucked it in the back of her mind for the moment and simply nodded.
At the softening of Tenma's eyes however, Misao found herself blushing again and a warm tingling sensation was humming through her as she tried and failed to supress a small grateful smile.
Tenma felt relief wash over him; it seemed he had somewhat gotten through to her and at least for the moment, eased some of her suffering.
The Kouga ninja's heart lifted and letting his hand fall to her shoulder, he gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Arigatou, Misao-chan. And I promise you, I will do whatever I can to help you and ease your discomforts."
She tilted her head to the side. "I-don't' understand-why you care so much, Tenma-sama. But I am very glad that you're here and-I want you to know that I value you as a very dear friend. I hope-I hope that isn't too forward of me to say."
And once again, She found herself blushing and had to tear her eyes away from his as they turned and slowly made their way back to the Aoiya, side by side.
Tenma couldn't hold back the wide grin from spreading across his face and he looked over at his companion. "Not at all, Misao-chan; I feel the same way as well and-I'm very happy to hear that you do too."
The two young ninja shared another meangful smile between them before they'd reached the Aoiya and finally bid each other good night.
Misao went to bed with a lesser-aching heart and hopes for a brighter tomorrow.
And Tenma fell asleep with a rare smile on his face and a heart filled with hope.