Since the day on the battlements, Cullen and Victoria tried to keep their relationship between only them, but it was hard. If Cullen was being honest with himself, they were actually behaving like schoolchildren. They would sneak kisses in dark corners, hold hands under the dinner table, and brush hands when strategizing at the war table, all while blushing more than they should. People were starting to notice.

When Victoria came into a war council meeting one day, Cullen was particularly excited to see her. She had been gone for a while, scouting out the Western Approach, and this was the first time he'd seen her since she'd returned. "Inquisitor. We were…" he said with a start.

Leliana smirked at him then, before concluding, "Eagerly awaiting your presence-some of us more than others."

"I wasn't…" Cullen stammered, "I mean, I was...we have work to do."

Victoria giggled, absentmindedly picking up a report. "How did you know?" she asked the group.

"Have you forgotten I'm a spymaster?" Leliana quipped.

"Plus," Josephine added, "you two never stop looking at each other, and you're always blushing."

"It's disgusting," Cassandra scoffed.

"You only say that because you need to find someone, Cass," Victoria jested.

"Not true," Leliana continued. "One of my little ravens tell me our Seeker has a penchant for dwarves that wield crossbows, as of late."

"Cassandra! Why didn't you tell me?" Victoria had dropped the report by now, startled by the news about Cassandra and Varric.

"We are not talking about this."

Cassandra's tone was enough to stop the conversation. They went about the meeting like nothing happened, and when the meeting was over, Cullen pulled Victoria to him in the hall, pressing her lips to his and her back against the wall. She laced her fingers through his hair, and he could swear he heard giggling from Leliana and Josephine, but he didn't care. He had her-that was all that mattered. They parted after a few minutes, pressing their heads together. "I missed you," Cullen whispered.

"I missed you, too," Victoria replied, placing a gentle kiss upon his scar.

It was then Cullen grew brave. He didn't want to keep their relationship between them anymore-why should they? There certainly wasn't anything to be ashamed of, and it was their Inquisition-their rules. With that, he grabbed Victoria's hand, lacing their fingers together. "Come with me," he said, and was greeted by her beautiful smile.

They continued through Skyhold, walking hand-in-hand for everyone to see. People stared, of course, but it didn't matter; this was the happiest Cullen had ever been.

They were strolling when Victoria asked, "The day you kissed me on the battlements: how long had you wanted to do that?"

This elicited a laugh from the Commander, who replied, "Longer than I should admit."

"You don't have much patience for nobility," she observed. "I'm glad my title didn't scare you off."

Cullen stopped in his tracks then, realizing that she was a noble, while he was not. Concerned, he pressed, "I hadn't considered...I have no title outside the Inquisition. I hope that doesn't-I mean, does it...bother you?"

Victoria faced him then, putting her arms around his neck. "Some members of my family might care. But my opinion's what matters."

He embraced her, unable to hide his nervous laugh. "Right," he whispered. "I'm not very good at this, am I?"

"No, not particularly," she giggled, smirking. "But I'm still here, Commander," she said, before leaning up and kissing him, right in front of all the merchants and Skyhold pilgrims.

After a moment, they withdrew. They decided to flaunt their feelings, but making a scene was another thing entirely. Cullen pressed his forehead to Victoria's and whispered, "If I seem unsure, it's because it's been a long time since I've wanted anyone in my life. I wasn't expecting to find that here. Or you."

A blush rose to Victoria's cheeks, and she grabbed Cullen's hand before beginning to walk again. "The Commander of the Inquisition and the Herald of Andraste. That will have people talking," she joked.

Cullen sighed, "You wouldn't believe how quickly gossip spreads through the barracks."

"Does it bother you?"

"I would rather my-our-private affairs remain that way. But if there were nothing here for people to talk about, I would regret it more." Cullen smiled, then. "Though I guess I have no right to complain after the small scene we just made."

"Truly," Victoria chuckled. "Let's hear what some of our guests have to say about us while we're walking."

Victoria had spent most of the day with Cullen, only leaving his side to visit the Undercroft and repair her armor. She returned to him later in the evening-when the Inquisitor was in Skyhold, she spent the night in Cullen's room. She had offered her room, but every time she did, Cullen rejected the idea and insisted they stay in his quarters. She sat up on his bed, reading about the various operations that had been completed while she was out, and attempting to organize new ones.

Cullen was asleep at her side; he slept peacefully for a short while, but he began to mumble things. Don't take her, Die demon, and I will not break being some of the most popular lines. She had been noticing an increase in his nightmares recently, and did everything in her power to calm him. She would put down her reports and run her fingers through his hair, whispering to him while he slept, but eventually most of her tactics had stopped working. He'd told her never to wake him during his nightmares; the lyrium withdrawal could cause mania if he was woken during them. All she could do is wait to comfort him when he awoke.

This evening Cullen was particularly restless, so Victoria decided to put her reports away early, hoping the feeling of her sleeping next to him would provide comfort and quell his fears.

Victoria awoke the next morning to emptiness beside her. Pulling on her boots, she slid down the ladder, expecting to see Cullen but only finding one of the Inquisition's scouts next to his desk.

"Inquisitor," the scout addressed. "If you're looking for the Commander, he's gone to speak with Seeker Pentaghast."

Victoria's brow furrowed, but she made her way to the armory where Cassandra usually could be found. She walked in to find Cullen standing across from Cassandra, rubbing his temples in frustration.

"You asked for my opinion, and I've given it," Cassandra said sternly. Victoria noticed Cassandra wearing Varric's shirt, a detail to certainly be discussed later. "Why would you expect it to change?"

"I expect you to keep your word," Cullen growled. "It's relentless. I can't-"

"You give yourself too little credit," Cassandra interrupted.

"If I'm unable to fulfill what vows I kept, then nothing good has come of this. Would you rather save face than admit-"

It was then that Cullen turned to find Victoria, watching the entire conversation. He looked embarrassed. He only walked past her, saying, "Forgive me," to no one in particular.

"And people say I'm stubborn," Cassandra said, acknowledging the Inquisitor. "This is ridiculous. Cullen told you that he's no longer taking lyrium?"

"Yes, and I respect his decision."

"As do I," Cassandra agreed. "Not that he's willing to listen. Cullen has asked that I recommend a replacement for him. I refused. It's not necessary. Besides, it would destroy him. He's come so far."

Victoria, albeit a little jealous that Cullen confided in her, was happy that he had someone else that cared a great deal about his well-being. "Why didn't he come to me?" she inquired.

"We had an agreement long before you joined us. As a Seeker, I could evaluate the dangers. And he wouldn't want to...risk your disappointment."

"Is there anything we can do to change his mind?"

"If anyone could, it's you," Cassandra admitted. "Mages have made their suffering known, but templars never have. They are bound to the Order, mind and soul, with someone always holding their lyrium leash. Cullen has a chance to break that leash, to prove to himself-and anyone that would follow suit-that it's possible. He can do this. I knew that when we met in Kirkwall. Talk to him. Decide if now is the time."

Victoria nodded on her way out, but stopped at the door. "Cassandra," she called. "I'm going to deal with this, but don't think I'm going to ignore the shirt you're wearing."

Cassandra grunted, which caused Victoria to laugh, attempting to suppress her nerves.

She made her way back to Cullen's office, and when she opened the door she was greeted by an unintelligible yelling, followed by Cullen's box of lyrium supplies hitting the door inches away from her. Cullen's eyes widened in fear. "Maker's breath! I didn't hear you enter. I-" he stopped in his tracks before muttering, "Forgive me."

"Cullen, if you need to talk…" Victoria spoke tenderly, growing nearer to Cullen.

"You don't have to-" Cullen's response was curtailed by what appeared to be pain striking him, causing him to groan and hold himself up using his desk. Victoria could see the sadness in him, the toll that cutting off his lyrium had taken. He was more pale than usual, his eyes more erratic. "I never meant for this to interfere."

Victoria was shocked by Cullen's apologies. In her eyes, there was nothing to apologize for. He was simply trying to live his life as happily and completely as possible. She wanted to reach out to him, to hold him. Instead, she came as close to him as he would allow before asking, "Are you going to be all right?"

"Yes...I don't know," Cullen said, finally admitting his doubt to Victoria. "You asked what happened to Ferelden's Circle. It was taken over by abominations. The templars-my friends-were slaughtered. I was tortured. They tried to break my mind, and I-how can you be the same person after that? Still, I wanted to serve. They sent me to Kirkwall. I trusted my Knight-Commander, and for what? Her fear of mages ended in madness. Kirkwall's Circle fell. Innocent people died in the streets. Can't you see why I want nothing to do with that life?"

There was so much ire in his voice. The reality of everything that happened to him was finally sinking in. Cullen had been through so much more than she could have ever imagined. She knew he was brave, but this was another level of bravery. To face all of these things and still be alive was remarkable. "Of course I can. I-"

"Don't!" Cullen interjected, startling Victoria. "You should be questioning what I've done. I thought this would be better-that I would regain some control over my life. But these thoughts won't leave me...How many lives depend on our success? I swore myself to this cause…"

Cullen was pacing back and forth. "I will not give less to the Inquisition than I did the Chantry. I should be taking it! I should be taking it."

He punched his bookshelf, causing some of the books to fall off, which startled Victoria. No matter her fear, she stepped towards him, remembering what a good man he is. "This doesn't have to be about the Inquisition. Is this what you want?"

Cullen exhaled slowly, showing the strongest sense of calm that he had all morning. "No," he responded. "But...these memories have always haunted me-If they become worse, if I cannot endure this…"

Victoria was inches away from him now. She put her hand on his cheek and he rested into it. Looking into his eyes, she said, "You can." And she truly believed it.

"All right," he sighed, finally allowing himself to relax.

She kissed him gently on the cheek. "Is this why your dreams have gotten worse?"

"Yes," he answered honestly. "And why I do not wish to sleep in your quarters. Truthfully, I do not even wish to sleep in mine, but you being next to me makes it more bearable. The reason I can survive in my quarters is because of the hole in my roof. It doesn't make me feel trapped...it doesn't remind me of the Circle."

Victoria nodded, leaving Cullen with his thoughts until it was late in the evening. She had a plan, and she needed to put it into action quickly.

Cullen hadn't seen Victoria since his outburst. He was starting to wonder if he'd scared her off. He'd understand, of course; not many people could deal with lyrium withdrawal. He was standing outside of his quarters, watching the sunset and pondering this when he heard her come up behind him. Without delay, he said, "I wanted to thank you...when you came to see me...If there's anything…" he sighed. "This sounded much better in my head."

Victoria gave him a more tender smirk than usual. "I trust you're feeling better?"

"I...yes."

"Is it always that bad?" He loved that she was always asking questions. Whether it be about him, or any other topic, she wanted to know-to understand.

"The pain comes and goes. Sometimes I feel as if I'm back there...I should not have pushed myself so far today."

"I'm just glad you're all right, Cullen."

"I am," he admitted. "I've never told anyone what truly happened to me at Ferelden's Circle. I was...not myself after that. I was angry. For years, that anger blinded me. I'm not proud of the man that made me. Now I can put some distance between myself and everything that happened. It's a start."

"For what it's worth, I like who you are now," Victoria said, looking at him proudly.

Cullen was undeniably shocked by this confession. There should be no reason why someone like Victoria would want anything to do with him after the events of the day. "Even after…?"

"Cullen, I care about you," she said, grabbing his arm. "You've done nothing to change that."

Cullen could cry he was so happy. He looked at her, truly, and it was the first time he did so throughout the whole day. He had been too preoccupied, with his problems and the fear that she might abandon him. She was wearing no makeup, and looking absolutely stunning still. Her hair was in a loose bun, strands of hair falling around her face. He took her into his arms then, moving her stray strands away from her face. She looked more tired than usual, no doubt from the events of the day. Even so, Cullen had to ask. "What about you? You have troubles of your own. How are you holding up?"

"Honestly, I'm terrified," she sighed, melting into him. "So many people depend on us. On me. Corypheus is still out there."

"We've made great strides. Do not doubt yourself-or the Inquisition-just yet. If there's anything I can do, you have only to ask."

Somehow what he said put a devious smirk on her face. "I'm so glad you said so, Commander, because I'll need you to follow me, and not ask any questions."

Though this alarmed Cullen, he nodded, and she took his hand, leading him through Skyhold, then outside of the castle. He had no clue where they were. She weaved around trees, confident that she wouldn't get lost. Eventually, they reached a clearing. It was surrounded by red, yellow, and green trees, and it overlooked a lake with a pier. The clearing had been furnished. There was a large bedroll with many furs on top of it, books, candles, and strings of small lanterns cascading across the trees. Confused, Cullen asked, "What is this, Victoria?"

"My present to you," she said, as though it were blatantly obvious. "You said you like sleeping in the open. I figured, at least once, that we could do this. This is our bedroom tonight. No confines, just nature, us, and any amenities we may need for the evening. I took down some of your favorite books-and, since you're a workaholic-some reports. I did the same for myself. We also have wine and two glasses. Tonight is about us-about you. We need to take some time to be happy."

As she was speaking, Cullen walked out into the clearing, standing close to the pier by the lake. He closed his eyes, breathing in the fresh air with relief. He felt Victoria's arms wrap around him from behind. She took off his overcoat, whispering in his ear while she did so. "The lyrium leash cannot hold you, Cullen Rutherford. By the Maker, I will not let it."

With that, he turned to face her, and pressed his lips against hers. She staggered backwards slightly, but slowly began to melt into him, kissing him back with the same intense desire. They clumsily stepped back to the bedroll, climbing under the furs. He let his tongue explore her mouth until he could no longer wait to take a breath. Their lips parted briefly, and before Cullen could think, he stated, "This is why I love you."

Cullen didn't expect the words to come out of his mouth, and apparently neither did Victoria. She opened her eyes wide, looking up at him in shock. Realizing what he said, he began to stammer, "Oh, Maker, no-I didn't-I...oh dear I ruin everything, I'm so sorry-"

He was silenced by Victoria's lips on his. She kissed him briefly before saying, "I love you, too."