Chapter 8

Rose watched shadow surround John in the moments before the TARDIS appeared. She had dared to hope he was still alive, but then the TARDIS vanished again taking that hope with it. That was hours ago. Now, she led a team inside the containment zone. They were equipped with mobile scanners and constantly on the lookout for the flesh eating shadows. She didn't need to be inside the dome. Her team could certainly handle it without her, but she wanted to be there. She needed to keep busy.

They walked up and down the streets scanning every dark corner. They combed the bookshop looking for traces of the spores that spawn the microscopic monsters, but nothing could be found. All of them must have hatched. They found a pile of rodent skeletons behind a petrol station. They found a skeleton of a cat in one of the alleys, but there wasn't a live reading since John Smith and the TARDIS disappeared. After several hours of searching every square inch of the street, Rose and her team had to conclude that the Doctor did it. He took vashta nerada with him, and found them a new home just as he said he would.

Just after midnight, Rose gave the order to remove the bio-filter, and allowed people to return to their homes. She watched as the translucent purple dome shimmered and then disappeared. The device in her ear beeped indicating she was getting a call. She pressed the button on the side, and the static crackled in her ear a minute before clearing.

"Rose, Margaret Blake and her family have had their memories modified. We used Retcon 4 instead of 5. Before you say anything hear me out," said Angie quickly, "We choose not to do the full wipe when we learned her son had a terminal illness, a rare neurological disorder. He would have died anyway and the condition is hereditary. It would be wrong to wipe that from their memory in case they decide to have another child. I knew you had your hands full so I made the decision."

"What?!"

"We have created a death certificate that lists the illness as the cause of death. Everything is in order. You're not mad are you?"

"What?! No! You did good, Angie, Thank you!" said Rose. She let out a sigh. It used to be her on the TARDIS after the danger had past. Now she had to clean up the mess left behind. When she traveled with the Doctor she was always so eager for the next adventure that the mess left behind rarely crossed her mind. The mess was only slightly less terrible than she imagined but it didn't take away the pain she felt at losing the Doctor.

"Angie, I think he's gone," she said into her ear piece, "I don't think he is coming back. I think he's dead."

"The Doctor?" asked Angie's voice in her ear.

"John Smith, My Doctor," whispered Rose.

"I'm sorry!" said Angie.

"He hasn't checked into a hospital or anything?" asked Rose. She heard the sound of typing coming through her headset as Angie searched for the information.

"No, it doesn't look like it. I will let you know if he does," said Angie

"Listen, can you get me his address? I know you have it," said Rose, "I just want to make sure."

"Of course!" said Angie. "Sending it now."

There was a click as Angie hung up. Moments later Rose's pocket vibrated. She pulled out her mobile and followed the GPS. It led her to a small two story building two blocks down the street. It wasn't an apartment complex but a building full of mostly empty office spaces. On the second floor she noticed the badge access next to a door with the word Torchwood. She swiped her card and was surprised the light flashed green. Torchwood hadn't used this facility since before she joined it.

She opened the door with a creak. The room was dark and her heart sank. If he were home it wouldn't be dark. She located the light switch and flipped it on. She didn't know what she was expecting, but it certainly wasn't a hammock strung up in an abandoned Torchwood chemistry lab left over from before the cybermen had been created. Rose tripped over a pair of familiar looking trainers as she looked about the place. She wasn't sure why she was still looking around. It was only making this harder. She recognized the tattered white shopping bag on one of the counters. He also had bananas and a tea pot sitting on top of a Bunsen burner. She couldn't stop the tears when she thought about how lonely he must have been here. It had been a mistake to come here alone. Alone she had no one to be strong for, and the tears flooded down her face. She had lost him. She just realized who he was, and she'd lost him again. She threw herself into the hammock, and sobbed uncontrollably, giving in to the overwhelming feelings of guilt and grief.

The TARDIS had wheezed into existence around John. He opened his eyes and saw that the black cloud had vanished. John gasped. "I'm alive!" he whispered, "I'm still alive." He staggered and fell to the floor. He didn't bother to get up. He just lay there giving into the pain because he was safe now, and Rose wasn't watching.

The Doctor looked over at his trap, and sure enough it contained a black shadow within the glass. "They listened to me! They believed me! Infusing the turkey worked!"

John followed his gaze and stared at the opaque cloud in the small glass box. He let out a sigh. The Doctor through a lever on the TARDIS, and it took flight once more. He abandoned the controls trusting the settings to take him where he needed to go and walked over to John. His eyes widened as they fell upon John's half eaten arm. "I got you out just in time from the look of it. How bad does that hurt?"

"About as bad as you'd expect," said John.

"I should be able to patch you up. Do you want me to try? I doubt you'll get as good of results with the human doctors, even the ones at Torchwood."

"How are you going to do that?" asked John.

The Doctor crouched down beside him. "Like this," he said grabbing ahold of John's injured arm.

"AAH!" cried John. "Why would you-" He stopped short and stared as golden light swirled around his arm. It engulfed the damaged area which began to glow. Chunks of muscle and skin re-grew before his eyes.

"But you wasted it!" said John once the process had finished. "That regeneration energy, you wasted it on me. Why would you do that?" He looked aghast. If this was the Doctor's last life then he should use any remaining energy sparingly to make minor repairs to his own body and keep it strong. By giving that up, John knew he was taking years off his life.

"Oh, I have plenty to spare now," said the Doctor.

"How did you manage that?" John asked eyeing him suspiciously.

"It's a long story but let's just say I didn't get to face number 13 with any help from you."

"That's face number 13! But that's impossible! You can't have. What did you do?" asked John give him an intense stare.

"I didn't steal the lives if that's what you're thinking. They gave them to me. It was a gift."

"Who gave them to you?"

"The Time Lords! Gallifrey isn't burnt. It's frozen in a single moment in time. I did it! All 13 of me… of us did it! You wouldn't remember. The timelines were all held together by the moment but as soon as they-" The Doctor stopped and looked at him. "Well, you'd just call it timey wimey. The point is now I just have to find it, and figure out how to bring it back."

"You're bonkers!" said John. He thought of Donna as he said this. Some of her mannerisms were part of him now.

"It's the truth," he said offering a hand to John and helping him to his feet. "Let me show you," he said still clutching John's hand. The Doctor closed his eyes. Images flooded through John's mind and forced him to close his own.

Three men stood in a circle around a box with a bright red button. The weapon, called the Moment, had the power to destroy many civilians as well as soldiers. It would end the war but at a high cost. John remembered being there, weighing the impossible choice, and ultimately choosing to destroy his home because there was no other way. A brunette woman stood off to the side. He didn't remember the other two men, though he understood instinctively that they were other versions of the Doctor at different points in his time line. The woman must have been one of their traveling companions. The youngest of the Time Lords, who wore a bow tie, was the oldest version in the room. The second man looked like John with the same spikey brown hair, and an identical brown pinstriped suit. The oldest looking Doctor with a beard, and battered clothing was actually the youngest of the three. He was the Doctor that John remembered being, the one who fought in the Time War. He was the Doctor that stole the Moment. He would use it to destroy the daleks, but his home planet, Gallifrey, would burn with them. John didn't really want to see this again.

John placed a hand on his face as the images continued to wash over him. He listened to the three men saying clever words trying to make what they were about to do okay. The Doctor with the bow tie caught sight of the brunette woman. She shook her head at him. He identified her as Clara. He decided Clara was right he couldn't do it. He couldn't let his home burn again.

A new idea formed in the youngest Doctor and the oldest Doctor's mind at the same time. The Doctor who wore John's face jumped up and down, "Oh, oh, I'm getting that too! That's brilliant," he shouted. The three Doctors grinned at each other. They turned to Clara and explained their plan.

The voices grew quiet as the vision left John's mind. It was replaced by another one. 13 spinning blue boxes surrounded the orange planet of Gallifrey. The Moment brought all 13 versions of himself there. John realized the calculations for how to freeze a planet in a single moment had been an idea he toyed with all his life. It had begun as a hobby when he was young, but the work had begun in earnest with the face he thought of as the warrior. The spinning TARDISes engaged their engines, and the planet vanished into nothing. It looked to all as though it had been destroyed. No one was certain it worked.

The imaged faded and was replaced with another, this time a giant glowing crack in the skin of the universe. The voices of the Time Lords called out asking for the Doctor to speak his name as proof it was him. They were asking him to bring them back. The crack hung in the sky over a planet called Trenzalor. In the sky surrounding the planet enemy ships waited. The Doctor couldn't reveal his name because if the Time Lords came back the war would begin again. He was dying of old age all his regenerations used up. Then through the glowing crack came a surge of regeneration energy, a gift from the Time Lords on the other side. It was the final proof that it had worked. Gallifrey existed and was just waiting to be brought back. The images faded from John's mind.

For a moment John said nothing. A few short gasps escaped his mouth and a huge grin formed on his face. He wiped away the tears in eyes and eventually he found his voice. "Thank you, Doctor, for showing me," said John.

The Doctor frowned. "I'm not sure if did you a favor. I doubt you'll ever see Gallifrey."

"I'm human now. I'm not sure I really belong there, but just knowing it's still out there. That I didn't burn it…" John's voice drifted off. He's eyes lost focus and he smiled as he thought of his old home.

"You're still the Doctor you know," said the Doctor bringing John back to the present moment. "I was in your head I know you don't believe it, but you should. I saw what you did. I saw it in your mind. You were ready to die to save Rose's family."

"Without you I would have," said John. He walked over to the glass cage. "Can they get out of there?" he asked. "You might remember they managed to climb inside a sealed space suit."

"They won't escape, and even if they did the upgraded TARDIS safety system would probably kill them before they could kill us," said the Doctor. He had walked back over the controls and looked at the monitor. "They know I found them a home and it's right outside those doors. Care to give me a hand?"

John wiggled the fingers on his right hand testing them out. He grinned. "That seems only fair."

The TARDIS doors opened on the small moon as first morning light peaked over a ridge of mountains. It cast a green light over the amber forest. They walked out the door on to the soft spongy ground carrying the glass box between them. They placed it down gently a short distance away. The Doctor unfastened the door and out the shadow came. It rushed off into the valley below not paying any attention to the two strangers who brought it there.

"Plenty of rodents here to keep them happy," said the Doctor, "and no sentient life to worry about. I infused the turkey with a sample of their DNA. The rodents natural predators died, and they would eventually destroy their own ecosystem. We have provided a balance that nature failed to do on its own. This world should thrive now."

John inhaled the damp air and let it fill his lungs. He was disappointed that his human nose couldn't detect the same range of chemicals he once could. Still he believed the Doctor was right this world would thrive now. He smiled. "They believed you this time. It doesn't usually work that way," said John.

"No, it doesn't. I had time to find a home for them. I let Torchwood handle the protection of the Earth. Normally I don't have that luxury."

After a minute of staring out across the valley, the two men carried the glass cage back inside the TARDIS. They stowed it in the lower section of the control room and walked back up the stairs to the main control deck.

"You'll be wanting this back," said John handing him his sonic screwdriver.

The Doctor smiled. "I'm surprised you took it. I figured you would have built your own."

"No, but I'm glad I took yours. It saved my life," said John, "Oh, I suppose you worked it out by now. I wasn't really working for Torchwood. I'm not with Rose anymore."

"Rose didn't want me to tell me either. I had to figure it out," said the Doctor.

"Did she ask to go with you?" asked John.

"No," said the Doctor. He walked over to the console and studied the monitor.

John couldn't help but feel relieved. It made his next question easier. "I know there were days I could have used a second pilot for the TARDIS. Days when I was lonely when everyone else had left me. I bet you still have those days, and I got no reason for sticking around here," said John. He spotted his old jacket draped over one of the railings and strolled over to it. "I'd come with you if you let me."

The Doctor frowned. "I do still have those days. In fact, I'm going through one of those moments now. I think Clara is done traveling with me. I've pushed her too far," he shook his head. "But I'm sorry, there can only one Doctor per TARDIS. That's how it must be."

"I knew you'd say that, but I'm not the Doctor, not really, not anymore," said John. He picked up the coat and put it on.

"Then why are you wearing the Doctor's coat? You better give it back then."

John made a face of disbelief and tilted his head. "Oh come on, we both know you're not going to wear it. You've changed!"

"Yes and you haven't changed as much as you think. You're still the Doctor to her," said the Doctor.

John shook his head. "No, she made it very clear. I only remind her of the Doctor, the man who left her, you!" said John.

"That was before she met me, the man who never returned for her. I'm the proof she needed to see. You almost died to save her family. Trust me, you're looking pretty good right about now. Well except for that jacket," said the Doctor pointing at him.

"You really want it back?"

"No, you just look ridiculous in it. You always did," said the Doctor.

John frowned at him. "Janis Joplin would disagree with you."

"Rose still doesn't know what happened," said the Doctor ignoring John's comment about the woman who gave them the jacket. "She doesn't know you're alive. We better go back or she'll think you're dead and I vanished."

"Well, we better not do that to her," said John, "especially you!"

"No, I'm allowed to do that. You're not," said the Doctor giving him a piercing gaze.

"You really believe she'll choose me over you?"

"Trust me," he said looking up from the console for a moment. A light flashed. "Hmm now that's odd."

"What is it?" asked John. He stepped beside him and looked at the monitor. "It's set to return us just after one in the morning?"

"What are you trying to do?!" asked John.

"It's not me. You set it and see what happens." He nodded toward the console. John grinned and immediately started pressing buttons. He didn't have to race around the TARDIS quite as much as the old days. After all this time the TARDIS finally redesigned herself to better suit one pilot. He pressed a few buttons, turned a few knobs, and set the TARDIS to appear just a few seconds after it had left. A light flashed and the destination reset to just after 1 AM. He tried a slight variation of the time and location, but again it reset to the same space-time coordinates. Then just to see what would happen, he set it to1000 years into the future. The TARDIS controls reset again to the same time and place.

"Have you locked the controls?" he asked looking over at the Doctor.

"No," he said, "You saw me. I'm just standing here. But do you want to know what I think?" The words "BAD WOLF" flashed on the screen as if to answer the question. The Doctor pointed at it and smiled. John frowned. "The TARDIS was inside Rose's head, and the TARDIS didn't always take us where we wanted, but it always takes us where we need to be. I think this time 'bad wolf' is a message for Rose, not from her. I think the TARDIS is trying to fix this."

John's eyes narrowed. "But she'll think we've just left!"

"Yeah, she probably will," said the Doctor. "She'll have time to realize what she has lost."

"Our TARDIS has gotten mean and manipulative!" said John.

"Will you complain if it works?" asked the Doctor.

John pulled the lever. "Allons-y!" he shouted. The Doctor shook his head. The TARDIS engines came to life and the circular rings near the ceiling spun slowly.

"You take yourself too seriously," said John.

"People have died because of us," said Doctor.

"Yeah, but lives have been saved because of us too," said John.

"How would Margaret Blake feel about us if she could remember?" asked the Doctor. John frowned. "Well there you see. I'll never forget that all this comes with a price."

"I never forgot that either," said John, "but I chose to dwell on the good things, on all that has been saved rather than what has been lost."

"That's because you had to. If you had dwelled on the loss of Gallifrey you couldn't have kept going. I have Gallifrey to keep me going. I have hope that I haven't had in a long time, but I have to be more careful than ever."

"Do you think you'll stop when you find it?" asked John.

"I might pause for a while, but I'm not sure I'll ever stop," said the Doctor. The TARDIS settled with a soft clunk.