Chapter 9

Rose arrived on the street and joined her team. She ran her hand over her hair to smooth it realizing it must be a mess after lying in the hammock. She did nothing to hide her red puffy eyes. Everyone noticed, but no one said anything. They all suspected like her that the Doctor had simply vanished, and that John Smith was dead. Her team knew her well enough to understand she didn't want to talk about it. Right now she needed to feel useful so she helped them pack up the equipment for the bio-filter and load it in the van. The night wore on and she found herself standing in the street watching the police haul away the wooden barriers. People who lived in the area were returning to their homes. The curfew order had been lifted for tonight.

Rose had nothing left to do, but she didn't want to go home so she stood in silence staring at the street for several minutes. Then she let out a sigh. As Rose turned to go she felt a rush of air, and heard the distinct wheezing sound. She whipped around just in time to see the TARDIS materialize. It stood in the exact place it had left hours before, the exact middle of the road. Thankfully at least a few of the barricades remained to prevent anyone from driving into it.

Rose ignored the startled cries of the remaining police officers and raced up to the telephone box. She reached it just as a familiar face with spikey brown hair stepped out. Before he even had a chance to get his bearings Rose threw her arms around him. The force of her sudden embrace upset his balance and he took a half a step backward. His mouth fell open and then formed a huge grin as he folded his arms around her.

"I thought I'd lost you," she whispered, "I thought for sure you died, and he just left without telling me. Because it seems like the sort of thing he would do now."

"No, that would be cruel and cowardly," said Doctor poking his head out the door. "That's not me. Not ever!" Rose glanced up at him and gave him a small smile.

"Your hand!" said Rose suddenly pulling away from her Doctor. "We need to get that looked at right away. We can reverse some of the damage with-" She stopped. Her mouth hung open. "It's fixed!" she gasped. He wiggled his fingers on his right hand, and gave her a smile. "What is it with you and that hand?" she asked. John pointed over at the Doctor, who gave her a quick wave.

"I brought him back to you better than how I found him," said the Doctor, "He's still human, but he's also still the Doctor, the man willing to make the impossible choice."

"Yeah he is," said Rose. She grinned at John then looked back at the Doctor. "Oh, thank you!" she said pulling the Doctor into a hug.

"Ah! I don't do hugs anymore." He said. His arms stuck out awkwardly behind her.

"Tough," said Rose but she pulled away from him a little more quickly than she might have otherwise. Rose looked back at John Smith, her Doctor, and her eyes filled with tears. "I love you!" she said.

"Are you sure?" asked John. "Are you sure you don't love him." He said nodding his head towards the Doctor.

"Oh, of course I love him," said Rose, "He brought you back to me!"

"I told you so!" said the Doctor giving John a smug look.

Rose's face suddenly turned angry. Her eyes darted from one doctor to the other, scowling at them both. "You came back late on purpose!" she said.

"No, the TARDIS brought us back late on purpose!" said the Doctor. "Every time we set the controls it defaulted back to this exact time and place."

"You're kidding?" asked Rose, "The TARDIS did it? You expect me to believe that!"

John shrugged. "It's not the first time the TARDIS manipulated the situation. How many times did we end up someplace different than we were trying to go? It even played a role in creating me when it locked Donna inside with my spare hand."

Rose let out a gasp as she realized he was right. Her face softened, but she said nothing.

"The TARDIS is trying to fix this," said the Doctor, "sometimes it brings me exactly where I need to be."

"You needed to know we were happy," said John looking at the Doctor, "You always want them to be happy after you've gone, and you always worry they're not."

"You're definitely still me," said the Doctor. John grinned. He almost believed it. He looked over at Rose, their eyes meeting.

"Bad wolf!" she said, "It was written on the TARDIS that day you saved those kids. I thought you were him, but you are him!" her voice faltered. She sniffed back tears. "You're the Doctor! One heart, but you're still him. You saved my family! I'm sorry I doubted you."

The Doctor, John Smith, smiled at her. "Come here you!" he said pulling Rose close. His single heart pounded in his chest as they kissed. They heard the doors of the TARDIS swing closed and the high pitched mechanical gasping noise which meant it was leaving. This time Rose didn't pull away from him. This time she only held on to him more tightly, as if the sound alone might be enough to take him away from her. A breeze kicked up and Rose's hair flew into the Doctor's face. They didn't break apart until long after the wind stopped and the noise faded away.

A few minutes later, John spotted Rachel Mathews tentatively approaching them and he waved her over.

"So Dr. Smith?" asked Rachel, "You're the hero that saved my bookshop!"

"Yeah he is!" said Rose answering for him. She had an enormous grin on her face.

"This must be the girl that kicked you out without so much as a suitcase," said Rachel giving her a mock glare.

"Oh, she doesn't even own a suitcase," said the Doctor with a wave of his hand. "She only has a couple of tattered duffle bags. The shopping bag was sturdier, believe me," the Doctor teased.

Rose nudged him in the ribs with her elbow. Then she laughed. "You know that's funny considering all the traveling we used to do."

"Hey, what's that? Did something on that machine break?" asked Rachel pointing at the ground behind them.

The Doctor and Rose turned around. "No way!" said the Doctor grinning as he bent down to pick the object up. He stood up and tossed it in the air. It flipped end over end three times and he caught it. The long slender metal object with a blue indicator light at the top looked exactly as he remembered it. It was his old sonic screwdriver.

"You know I've seen an object like that before," said Rachel, "in a book my mother gave me two weeks ago. It was called Impossible Things."

"What?!" asked the Doctor.

"I lied before. I don't have son who works at Torchwood," continued Rachel, "I gave you the job because I read that book, and dared to believe in the impossible things. I couldn't tell you that in case of course it wasn't true. I didn't want you to think I was crazy."

"But how did you get that book?" asked the Doctor.

"My mother a said stranger standing outside a blue box gave it to her months ago before she went into the hospice. She said he told her that one day soon a man named Dr. Smith would rescue her bookshop. I thought it was part of her dementia, but I read it anyway. Then right after that tragedy you actually showed up, a man named John Smith. There are all those rumors about a Doctor who had saved us from the cybermen. Then there's those videos of a man that looks like you who had a vanishing box like that," she said pointing at the TARDIS, "but I suppose this is goodbye Dr. Smith. You belong at Torchwood, not working for me in a silly old bookshop."

The Doctor looked over at Rose. "Torchwood already has the best. I could stay for a while," he said, "but they might need me as a consultant from time to time. I might need flexible hours."

"If you need to save the world, Doctor, you have my permission to close early," said Rachel. "It will be closed for a few days, anyway. I have funeral arrangements to make."

"Oh, Rachel, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," said the Doctor.

"No, you don't apologize for that. You gave me those precious hours with my mother and you saved her bookshop. I read the book, John. You carry a heavy enough burden without carrying her death too. Thank you! Thank you Doctor!" She said shaking his hand. Then she walked off leaving them alone together.

Rose and the Doctor walked down the street. The Doctor found a park bench and sat down. He gave it a tap silently asking her to sit with him. She sat down next to him. He held her hand, and they sat in silence for a moment looking up at the sky. It's not as though they could see many stars, the city lights obscured them, but they could see what others couldn't see. They could see all the adventures and mystery out there in the universe.

"Should we go home?" asked Rose after a little while of staring into the sky. "You came the short way around but I'm exhausted."

"Home, now that's a complicated word," said the Doctor. He made no move to get up, but continued looking up at the sky. He thought of what the Doctor had showed him. How he hadn't burnt his home. He had saved it. Tears formed in his eyes.

"What is it?" asked Rose.

"Let me show you," he said gently placing a hand on her face.

"Thought you couldn't do that. That it really drains you since you're mostly human."

"It does, but you need to see this," he said closing his eyes and Rose closed hers. She took a deep breath and relaxed letting the Doctor into her mind. He showed her the same images the Doctor had shown him on the day he saved Gallifrey. He let them flow into her mind. They sat for a few minutes until the process was finished.

"That's amazing!" said Rose but then her face grew serious. "But if the Time Lords come back then they could reopen the paths between worlds. Do you think that happened? Do you think that's how he got through?"

"I think so, but could be years in the future, centuries for all we know. He could have entered through the future and traveled to the past in this universe," said the Doctor. "He may have a very long journey ahead of him to find it."

"But he'll find it," said Rose, "I'm sure he'll find it."

"Yeah, he will." said the Doctor nodding his head. "You know we were both angry at him for manipulating us, but he has lost more than anyone. He sacrificed for us," said the Doctor "I'm not angry anymore, Rose. He's still out there looking for his home, but I have found mine!" He said squeezing her hand. "My home is here with you." Rose smiled at him and he could tell by the tears just beginning to form in her eyes that she felt the same way. He put his arm back around her and gave her a squeeze. After a minute the two of them stood up to leave.

"So which home are we going to?" asked Rose, "You're place or mine?"

The city seemed to spin as the Doctor stood up. "Oh you don't want to see my place," said the Doctor shaking his head which only made the dizzy feeling worse. "You really don't." He stumbled back into the bench. Rose looked at him her face full of concern. "I'll be fine. It's just like you said, it drains me. I just need to rest."

"Your place then," said Rose, "it's closer and we're not going to find a cab at this hour in the curfew zones."

"No, you really don't want to see it," said the Doctor.

"What? I don't want to see the old Torchwood chem lab that you rented and strung a hammock in," said Rose with a smirk.

"It has a shower," said the Doctor defensively, "Wait, how did you…"

"And an eyewash station," said Rose.

"Oh right, it was part of the quarantine zone. You used your clearance to spy on me! Shame on you, Rose," said the Doctor.

"I thought you were dead."

"Well, that makes it okay then," said the Doctor. He started off impassive but a smile crept on to his face.

"I missed you!" said Rose, "I thought there was a chance he dropped you back there."

"In the middle of a quarantine zone with a flesh eating swarm?" he said but the smile on his face became a grin.

"Shut up," said Rose, "I missed you!"

"Well, I think hammock is big enough for two," said the Doctor, "so if you want…" Rose grinned, she helped him to his feet, and guided him down the street in the right direction.

"How did you sleep?" asked the Doctor as Rose came back from the toilet. He noticed she was already fully dressed, and it disappointed him. She brushed past the hammock and joined him at the counter where he had a tea kettle going on a Bunsen burner.

"Terrible!" said Rose, "you kept elbowing me in the face."

The Doctor frowned. "Sorry!"

"Tell me you're not staying here!" she said, "say you'll move back in with me and come work for Torchwood."

The Doctor grinned. "Of course, I'll come and stay with you, but I think there can only be one of us at Torchwood."

"You're really going to stay on at the bookshop?" asked Rose frowning.

The Doctor shrugged. "What's wrong with that?"

"It just doesn't seem like you," said Rose.

"Well I figured I'd stay for a little while, at least. Rachel doesn't have anyone else to run it. It's not saving the world, but it is making one person's life a little better. Besides, I can read up on the history and culture of this universe. You can learn a lot about a world by its fiction, by the stories it preserves for its children. It might be fun to do a comparative study of human literature." The tea kettle whistled and the Doctor pulled it off the burner. "For example in this universe Tolkien wrote The Hobbit but I can't find a copy of Lord of the Rings. The Chronicals of Narnia exists but Aslan was a wolf. What's that about? Shakespeare's got a few plays missing and two new ones I'd love to read or see performed. Oh, and Agatha Christie was an even more prolific mystery writer in this universe than she was in ours."

"So you're going to read books all day?" asked Rose.

"Well at least until Rachel can find someone else," said the Doctor, "Then I thought I'd fix up this lab and use it."

"For what?" she asked.

The Doctor shrugged. "This and that, a little bit of everything I suppose!" said the Doctor, "I'll be there to help you when you need it. Torchwood can protect the Earth most days without me. That will leave me free to understand the monsters and then maybe they won't seem like monsters anymore. Together with the help of your team maybe we can save more lives than we ever could when we were running."

"There will be messes to clean up and paperwork to fill out!" said Rose.

"All the more reason I'd rather be a consultant," said the Doctor.

Rose grinned. "Well, that does sound more like you." He tossed her a box of cereal. She made a face. "Sorry it's all I got. We could go out and get something but you're buying."

Rose shook her head. "No, I already got an urgent email from Angie. I've got a PR nightmare on my hands from last night. Colonel Stewart is furious. He says I deliberately held back information yesterday," Rose sighed. "That's true, of course, so I have to figure out how to calm him down. Also I really need to stop back at my place, and at least change my clothes."

"Cup of tea?" he asked.

"Sure!" she said. She accepted a battered mug she guessed had come from a thrift shop. She felt a twinge of guilt when she realized he only had one. She slid it back to him.

"Oh, I can wait. You have a big day," he said pushing the mug back towards her.

"Thanks!" she said and took a sip. She noticed a book on the counter face down. "So what's the story with that book? Is it some brand-new one you've never see before?" She asked pointing to the book just out of reach.

The Doctor sighed and slid it over to her. "That book is the same. Margaret Blake was about to purchase that for her daughter," said the Doctor, "I thought I'd find a way to give it to her but then decided against it."

"Why?" asked Rose.

"It's the story of a girl who travels the universe to save her father and younger brother. It didn't seem right after what happened."

Rose took another sip of tea and absentmindedly thumbed through the book. "Bad wolf," muttered Rose.

"What?" asked the Doctor.

"Bad wolf." Rose said again a little louder. She put the book down and looked up at him. "You told me that's what the TARDIS display said and I saw it too! I saw it written on the top of the TARDIS. What if I did it? What if I planned this whole thing all along? I could have seen the future. I could have known that I'd be stupid and I'd lose you. When I was Bad wolf, I must have set this up to fix it. What if I told the TARDIS to show up in that bookshop?"

"But that would mean-" the Doctor stopped short. He shook his head. "No, you didn't kill a child. I can't believe that."

"He was terminally ill. He was going to die anyway. Angie told me. He might have lived for another year at most," said Rose. The Doctor's mouth fell open in shock.

"What?!" he asked.

"Maybe he suffered less that way," Rose continued. Maybe somehow when I was merged with the Time Vortex I saw that family's timeline too, and I knew this would be better or at least not worse."

"Maybe," said the Doctor quietly.

"It also served as a warning," said Rose, "Torchwood might not have noticed right away. The first skeleton I thought was a hoax. The second one forced me to take more interest in it. That's how I found out their range. I might have listened to the other Doctor. I might have quarantined too small of a zone. It could have escaped. Torchwood might have failed without the three of us. More people might have died like Bill and Joey."

The Doctor wasn't looking at Rose. He didn't seem to only be half listening. He paced the floor muttering to himself. "Yes, it could be," he said. He looked at Rose and a smile broke across his face. "We'll never know for certain, since you can't remember what happened that day, but I think you might be right."

"If I did that then I really have become like you, making the tough choices."

The Doctor grinned at her. "You've always been willing to do that," he said "That's part of why I fell for you."

Rose grinned back at him. "I'm going to make sure Margaret's daughter gets this book," she said picking up.

The Doctor frowned and shook his head. "I still don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not? It might give her hope."

"False hope," said the Doctor, "Her brother's not coming back."

"Neither was Gallifrey. Neither were you. Neither was my dad."

"That's different!" said the Doctor.

Rose shrugged. "How's it different? We still have the dimension cannon, and the TARDIS found a way through. Maybe someday that little girl will work for Torchwood, and she'll travel through different universes. Maybe she'll even find a version of her brother, and who are you to stop her? Who are you to take away that hope?" The Doctor didn't reply, but he gave her a small smile and nodded. "I'll make sure she gets it," said Rose slipping the book into her purse. She took a last sip of tea then stood up and headed for the door.

"I love you!" he said thinking how wonderfully it was that those words could mean exactly what they said but also 'I agree with you and thank you for changing my mind.' Rose looked back at him.

"John Smith," she said giving him a nod and then walked out the door. The Doctor gasped. He wore a pained expression. In his mind he was back on the TARDIS. The day he had said "If it's my last chance to say it… Rose Tyler-" and the message cut short before he could finish.

Rose opened the door and peeked back inside. "I love you too!" She said giving him a quick kiss before walking away for real. The Doctor breathed a sigh of relief. Rose used a painful memory to flirt and it worked. He resisted the urge to chase after her. She had a job to do and he would see her later tonight. Instead he turned from the door and began to organize the lab equipment that Torchwood had left behind. He would create his own space in which to learn all the things he had yet to discover about the universe. The Doctor would never be done exploring.