Damn I'm such a sap.
I don't care if I am.
It's fucking stupid to hide it, well at least from myself.
But fuck if I didn't mean every word of it, guess those Haiku things Sensei makes us write are useful.
Thinking about how calm a cool his motions are, how gentle his hands are, even the soft tone of his voice...it's like water. He can be powerful and quick like the waterfalls that beat down from the mountains, roaring in the calm of a jungle to crush anything that dares to challenge him. But when he's himself, his true self, he's like a stream; calm, cool, gentle, refreshing giving life to every living thing around him. I could drown in the waters of his voice as he sings those old songs father taught him, I enjoy being bathed in the refreshing mist of his eyes when he's watching me train, even the slow trickle of his laughter makes me want to drink it up till the last drop. He's the life of our home, ever moving and flowing around us, protecting us. Like a moat of perfect strength and wisdom he keeps us safe, but when war isn't knocking on our door he gives us a calm presence to bathe our troubles in and wash away our fears. A spring of life that illuminates the darkness we were born into.
But...I want more.
I want to bottle his fluid body and seal it close to my body, I want to dowse myself in the refreshing cascade of his touch cooling my rage. I bark and bite but only to keep from wanting to drown in him. I look for anything to rage war between us for fear of treading that irresistible ocean of passion. Fighting more with myself to keep on the shores when I want to dive in, I can wade in the shallows only to seek brotherly comfort any further and I'll be swept away by my own desires. But here, in my mind, I can push myself to near exhaustion and collapse in my room to escape in the depths of my mind. His deep blue eyes swimming in peaceful love, my love, the lush green of his skin blending with my darker tone until we're like the forests he loves to look at in books. Behind these doors I can swim in an ocean of passion as I drown in his voice. I can more than imagine holding the liquid cool to my burning flesh forcing him to melt that mask of ice and appear for me alone as I send him into a fog of bliss. I can hear his grunts and panting as if he'd fought a thousand soldiers, the scent of incense and spice from his body rushing over me as I dive deeper into my lust. His body trembling beneath my fingers, both of passion and fear; I know he's afraid to show his inner heart but in these passions he shows me. The torrent storm calms in my powerful arms, his rushing worries for our family and clan ease under my lips, the fear he carries every day...I'll take it away. Under the waters of sleep I can hear him calling out to me to touch him, his cold skin strokes my arms...he'll know then that I work so hard to be strong for him...the light drips of his lips on my neck and shoulders will feel like rain in a drought...his smooth legs will spread open for me to drink up all he can offer. I will melt the frozen walls he's built with a passion he couldn't even dream of, all the years in this desert of fire will be worth that first sip from his virtue.
After each fight I grab the frigid water from our home, a towel from the wash room, and descend into my room heated from our battle and burning of thirst from yelling with him. I collapse hard into my hammock, letting the heat consume me I want to be as steamed as possible; but as I am about to hit my limit I dump that water on my body. It stings like the blades I see him care for, slicing through the rage and pain like only his voice can do to me. The cloth soothes my need for intimacy I can see him smoothly touching every crevice of my chest, even the scars I bare for him, slowly painfully slowly it drifts down my arms and wrist. Moving like the running water over my shell and tail, the faintest of drops send the thrill down my spine as I let the water drip down my dropped weakness. Just the barest of touches and those practiced skills are put to use as they waif over my sides and around my waist. The cold trickle teases my legs flowing cruelly behind my knee making my breath catch at the vision of him so low, fingers teasing those tense muscles of my calves as a warmth spreads over my lower plastron. Damn it feels so good, even if it's my imagination putting him here in this place with me I can't help but feel weightless in the rush of his warmth encasing me. Those ocean orbs looking up from a lude position begging me to give him all I've got, submerging into my darkest desires I thrust myself into the drowning heat of him. Faster and faster I crash into the heat of him, like a spring of hot water he washes away the shame I feel from the act. Offering to cleanse me of the blood I'm covered in from this life of justice, quenching my thirst for penance for the violence I invoke only to protect, all this and more I dive deeper and deeper until I can hardly breath; in a rush of heat and lust I cry out his name as I flow into his forgiving waters. Shuddering from the release of my sins into the cold cloth in my hand I let the mist carry me to the showers to warm up once more as the water rains down from the shower I can't help but smile again at the memory of what I had just done.
The heat warms my heart again as the water trickles down my body I roll my muscles and groan at the feel of it. Once more I allow my mind to savor the feeling to indulge later. As if fate had me in mind the door opens again, in the fog of steam he's there wanting to join me. How can I say no? The ripples of beads cascading down the flawless skin give me another fantasy to enjoy when I once more dive into the shameful ocean of my mind. But for now we apologize, I steal a touch, and just as always he looks deep into my eyes searching for sincerity of the moment. In those stares I offer all the passion I have burning inside me to him, to show I truly mean my words, hoping he understands. That smile says he believes it and once more turns to purge himself of the musk from his training, again into the spray I can't look away. If ever you get the chance to gaze upon nature's perfect could you turn away from something so...
Beautiful?