Ch. 6 Thunderstorm
A/n: If you're an emotional person I highly recommend a box of tissues for this chapter and please don't hate me. This has been how I've planned it since I started this story almost a year ago.
My head throbbed as I lifted it from the cold stone and I looked around. Next to me on the ground was Carter and it took me a moment to remember what had just happened. It took me a bit longer to realize Carter was dead, his cold lifeless face just barely a foot from me. He was gone, but I was still alive. Why was I still alive? Then my brain caught up to me and I realized a terrible thing. Merci's almost constant movement had stopped. And I fell to pieces, knowing exactly what that meant.
I sat back against the wall, my pained sobs echoing off the wall around me for I don't really know how long before a familiar voice brought me back from my pain.
"Ginny?" Draco's voice sounded so surprised and worried.
"I, he, she" I couldn't say it out loud. I couldn't find the words. I felt him slide down the wall next to me and slip my hand into his.
"I know. I'm sorry about Carter. I know he was important to you." He had believed the sobs were for Carter.
"No, Draco." I placed his hand on my stomach knowing he would realize without me telling him. He spoke no words and stood quickly picking me up in his arms. I have no idea where we went from there or how he managed to get us to St. Mungo's. Or maybe I have just blocked it all out. The next thing I remember was being in a room, in a hospital gown with the healer talking to me in such a sad voice telling me exactly what I had already known.
"I'm sorry Miss Weasley, but your baby has no heartbeat. Because you are of such a young age, we can't simply remove her. You'll have to deliver naturally. A nurse will be in shortly to give you the potion to get things going. Is there anyone you would like us to contact? Your parents perhaps?"
"Yes" Draco spoke for me knowing I wouldn't. "Can you contact her family? All of them?"
"Yes, anyone I should contact for you Mr. Malfoy?" She thought Merci was his.
"No, no one for me. Just her family. She needs them."
The healer turned and left the room giving us some privacy. We sat in silence for what seemed like forever. Soon the nurse came in and I drank the disgusting gray potion she handed to me and we were left alone once again. I turned to face Draco and realized for the first time he was crying as well.
"I should have listened to you" I managed a sentence for the first time. "I should have told Carter, I couldn't help him and then she would be okay."
"This is not your fault." He placed both hands on my cheeks and looked me in the eyes. "You were doing the right thing. You couldn't have known this would be the end result. What happened anyway?"
Before I could answer him the door flew open and in poured my family. Mum, dad, Bill, Fleur, Charlie, Anna, Fred, George, Ron, and Hermione all carried the same worried and surprised expression as the gathered together next to my hospital bed. Draco had taken to just holding my hand and looking down at the sheets unable to face my family.
"Oh, Ginny why didn't you tell us?" My mother was the first to speak throwing her arms around me. I squeezed Draco's hand and he looked at my face. I mouthed for him to tell them. I just couldn't.
"Why don't you all sit down?" he motioned to the many chairs around the room and they all followed his instruction. "How much am I telling them?" He whispered to me.
"Everything. Please just tell them everything." I shut my eyes beginning to feel uncomfortable and realizing the potion was beginning to take effect.
"In October, late one night I was doing my prefect rounds when I found Ginny. I'll spare you the details here but she was in bad shape. I tried convincing her to go to the hospital wing and she begged me not to. At a loss on what to do, I took her back to my room and healed her up the best I could. That was when our friendship began. I kept her close by at first because she didn't tell me who had hurt her. And after she did, my friends and I kept her with at least one of us at all times. About a month later, she started getting sick and once again I implored she see a healer but she wouldn't have it. That would be about the time the whole school believed us to break up and when she began to date..." He paused looking at me with sad eyes remembering the events of the night. "Carter. We didn't truly speak again until the train ride returning home for the holiday, when she explain she had made an appointment to see a doctor in London. I went with her to the appointment where she found out about the baby." He stopped speaking waiting for my family's response.
I looked around and stopped when I got to Anna. She was just staring at me like she was trying to figure something out but she didn't want to believe it. When she caught me looking at her she stood and came to stand next to the bed. She place one hand on my stomach and looked up at me. I nodded knowing that she had long ago figured out who the baby was. Her face crumbled and she started to sob. Charlie came to her side quickly looking confused.
"She's Merci. She's your baby. I'm so sorry Charlie." My tears that had stopped returned with a vengeance and Draco held my hand tighter. The rest of my family's faces fell more if that was even possible. There had been a small light when they believed that even though my baby had died Charlie and Anna were going to be parents soon. But now the truth was out, my baby was their baby. And there was no happy ending in sight for anyone. I shifted as the pain of real contractions started and did my best to keep my face even so no one would know. But Draco could tell. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze to let me know he was still there before he addressed my family again.
"I know that none of you have any reason to listen to me at all, but I think Ginny needs her rest now." He stood as he spoke making sure he was listened to.
"You're right" Bill stood as well pulling his fiancé up with him. "We should go find a waiting room. It's already been a long night and it will only be getting longer." He turned and led the family out of the room and no one spoke a single word.
"I'll be right back okay?" Draco let go of my hand and slipped out after them. Being alone made everything feel so much worse, I had for months always had the comfort of Merci moving around. But now it was gone, and she was gone. All the progress I had made since October was gone. I felt numb and broken again. I couldn't stand the stillness of the room so I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and went to stand by the window. I hadn't even realized that outside a thunderstorm was raging. I don't know how long I had been watching the flashes of light when Draco slipped back in the room. I turned towards him just as the first painful contraction hit. It took me by surprise and I stumbled almost falling. Draco rushed across the room catching me and leading me back to the bed. It was over as soon as it began and I looked up at him noticing that he seemed to know something that I didn't.
"What is it?" I questioned.
"It can wait Ginny. I don't think now is really the time for this discussion."
"Just tell me Draco. My night cannot possible get any worse than this."
"Dumbledore's dead. We should have taken those rumors seriously. They all came true." He sighed, sitting up on the bed next to me.
"Who killed him?"
"Bickman, I was there with Potter when he showed up. He was gloating about how he had killed you and Carter. I took off looking for you. Potter had his friends there and I didn't think he would ever manage to get to Dumbledore. A bunch of other death eaters showed up soon after I left and apparently it got a little hectic and then Dumbledore was dead and it was over. The death eaters took off with Bickman. Maybe if I had stayed…"
"It's not your fault. None of this is either of our faults. It is all Bickman's fault." We sat there together silently for a few minutes before I looked up at the clock.
"It's your birthday." It had been for almost an hour. "I would say happy birthday, but I doubt it will be a happy one."
"It's alright." He laced his fingers through mine and listened to the thunder outside.
"Ow" My hands went instinctively to my stomach and I cringed at the pain. Draco looked nervous, afraid of what to do. Soon enough I leaned back and took a deep breath. "That's what fifteen minutes apart or so?"
"Yes, about fifteen or so." I had never seen Draco so pale before. I was beginning to fear he would pass out.
"You don't have to stay for all of this, if you don't want to."
"I'm staying until you don't want me here. I can do this, I can. I will be here for the whole thing if you want me here."
"I do, I really don't want to be alone." I wiped the tears away that were beginning to spill over my eyelids.
"Then it's decided, I'm not going anywhere."
As time began to move forward and one hour turned to two, Draco never left my side. He held my hand as the contraction became stronger and closer together.
"Bloody hell, If I ever get my hands on that asshole; I will fucking kill him!
"I know, I'll help I promise. Just breath Ginny, you're doing so well" Draco still looked like he was going to pass out. If it wasn't for how sad the situation truly was and the pain I was in, I would have laughed at how a woman in labor could reduce the great Draco Malfoy to this. The contraction ended and I fell back on my pillows knowing I didn't have long before another began. Hot tears poured down my face and mixed with sweat. Outside the storm was still ranging and I knew the sun would be coming up soon. A new day beginning that I shouldn't have been alive to see, but I was and Merci was gone. She wasn't even born yet, but she was gone.
The Healer walked in and examined me quietly while I just tried to breath. Draco was stretching his hand out, probably trying to get some feeling back into it.
"Alright, Miss Weasley, it's time to start pushing on your next contraction." She called for her assistant and quickly they got everything together for me to deliver Merci.
Draco kissed my forehead and brushed his thumb across my cheek. "Till the very end" He whispered in my ear before once again taking my hand. The contraction came strong and hard and I put everything I had into pushing. And I did it again and again as contraction after contraction came.
Nearly an hour later, I was exhausted, as a contraction ended and I fell back against my pillows sobbing.
"I can't do this, Draco." I cried looking up at him. "I'm so tired and it hurts so badly."
"Yes you can. You have to, for Merci. You have come so far and it is just a little bit longer and it will all be over." I noticed for the first time that he was crying too. I knew he was referring to more than just labor being over. I just nodded my head as the next contraction hit hard and I pushed as hard as I could, screaming through the pain. Then it was gone and I held my breath waiting for the cry I knew would never come.
The room was completely silent as the assistant cleaned up Merci, wrapped her in a blanket and put her in my arms. Her lips were blue and lifeless and she was cold despite the blanket wrapped around her. Her head was covered in red hair and I brushed my thumb across her cheek my tears falling onto her blanket.
"Could you get my brother Charlie and his wife?" I asked the healer. She nodded silently and left the room with the assistant who told us she would give us out privacy and time to say goodbye.
"Do you want to hold her?" I didn't even wait for a reply before placing her in Draco's arms. He just sat back in his chair, silently sobbing while staring down at her. A few minutes passed in silence before a gentle knock at the door signaled that Charlie and Anna had come. I called for them to come in and they slowly made their way to the bed. Without any words, Draco stood, walked over to Anna and placed Merci in her arms.
"So beautiful, our little angel." She whispered, kissing Merci on the head. Her whole body shook with sobs as she passed her off to Charlie.
"I never got to know you. But I loved you from the moment we found out you were ours. And I'm glad you mother turned out to be my sister because she loves you too and I know she would have been the best aunt in the world for you." He spoke quietly and a small smile broke through on his face through the tears.
The next half an hour was filled with my family meeting and saying goodbye to Merci. Sometime during the night Blaise, Pansy, Azlyn, Logan, Harry, and Regan had joined the group and they were the last to visit with Ron and Hermione. Regan came straight to me and hugged me.
"It's not your fault. What happened to Carter is not your fault and I don't blame you for any of it. I am so sorry Ginny. If I hadn't gone looking for Harry…" She broke off when Harry came to stand beside her.
"It's not your fault either. It is all Bickman's fault. He killed Carter, Merci, and Dumbledore." Harry pulled her into his chest hugging her close.
"I know this is a random question" Ron looked down at the lifeless baby in my arms. "But um who is Merci's father. I'd love to know who I am murdering after I find Bickman and rip him limb from limb for killing her."
I started laughing hysterically and I was sure I had lost it. Everyone around me froze and looked around trying to figure out what was wrong with me.
"He is her father. Bickman is her father." I half laughed, half sobbed. Everyone stood around in silent shock for a few minutes.
"Now this year is beginning to make sense." Hermione whispered as she held tightly to Ron. No one answered her and the room felt eerily still. The storm that had raged all night had ended and there was an odd feeling clinging to the room.
Soon everyone left and Draco and I said our final goodbyes to Merci before the nurse took her away. And for hours Draco held me as I sobbed until I fell asleep from exhaustion. I had no dreams and when I woke the room was dark and quiet. Draco had fallen asleep holding me but I had no idea when. I managed to untangle myself from him and stand. I was wobbly on my feet and in more pain than I thought I would be but I managed to stumble my way to the bathroom and flipped the light switch on to look in the mirror. I almost didn't recognize myself and yet the girl staring back looked familiar. Pale and sickly and something else I couldn't quite place. I turned away unable to face my reflection any longer and turned on the shower. It wasn't until I was standing in the shower that I looked down at my stomach. It was flat and exactly as it was before I became pregnant. I pressed my palm against my stomach wishing that I had some reminder of the baby I had carried and lost. But that was magic. As soon as the child was born they could fix your stomach back to how it was supposed to be. I curled up sitting on the shower floor with no more tears to cry. The water was cold and I was shaking when Draco found me and shut the water off. He wrapped a towel around me and led me back into the hospital room and helped me get dressed in a pair of my sweat pants and one of his shirts. He helped me back into bed and joined me there once again holding me to his chest. I pressed my ear to his chest and began to drift off. But before I was completely asleep I head Draco whisper.
"One day you will be back here and you will cry tears of joy instead of tears of despair. And I promise I'll be right here by your side." He kissed the top of my head. "I love you"