This fiction is based in this post by otpprompts (OTP Prompts) on Tumblr.

Imagine Person B walking into the kitchen in the morning with their hand down their pants. When Person A asks why their hand is down there, Person B tells them that they had been masturbating and accidentally grabbed a tube of superglue, thinking it was lubricant, so now their hand is stuck to their genitals. Person A can't stop laughing as they try to help Person B get out of their "sticky situation".

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of the characters.

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Ichigo was half-standing, half-sleeping over the coffee machine in the kitchen, waiting for the precious miracle that was about to wake him up another day. He loved coffee. It was the bomb. It resurrected his soul and gave him the strength he needed to be a proper human being at seven in the morning. Otherwise, he would be a walking zombie. See, the orange-haired man was so not a morning person. He liked to sleep in like a little baby, despite the thirty years he had on his back. However, he had to wake up and go to school, to teach a couple of stressed out high schoolers some algebra and calculus.

However, before he left the house, Ichigo had to wake up the monster, er, his lover. Well, the term "monster" wasn't entirely inadequate, if one took into consideration how aggressive Grimmjow got whenever someone woke him up. Seriously, Ichigo loved the blue-haired man to death - otherwise he wouldn't have married his sorry ass - but he had yet to meet a human being who wouldn't shit themselves when Grimmjow death-glared at them first thing in the morning. Not that Grimmjow would ever hurt him, but still, the man was scary as shit.

"Grimmjow, baby!", he called out as soon as the machine stopped gurgling. He picked it up and poured the liquid salvation in a huge mug, "I made coffee! Wake up!"

Minutes ticked away and still no sign or answer from the blue-haired man. But that wasn't surprising, since Grimmjow never woke up the first time. Ichigo was so used to it after some many years that he had even sat down and devoured his toasted bread and his eggs, reading his notes for the day through one more time while sipping his coffee. He was planning on introducing his students to calculus. They were so going to hate him for it. He knew it.

"G'mornin'," Grimmjow's gruff and very sexy voice snapped Ichigo out of his musings. The orange-haired man lifted his head and smiled immediately at the sight of his beautiful and half-naked lover. Grimmjow was rubbing his eye with the back of his hand while the other appendage was lost...inside the blunet's pajama bottoms.

Ichigo couldn't help but quirk his eyebrow and smirk at such sight. Grimmjow with his hand buried deep in his underwear...the familiarity of the situation was beyond every human imagination.

"Baby, I know that your...jewel is rather important to you," the orange-haired man crooned, "But don't you think holding it like that is a little too much? I'm just saying."

"Shut up, smartass," Grimmjow grunted sleepily, a scowl marring his face as he went to pour himself a cup of coffee. Ichigo chuckled in amusement and resumed reading his notes. Grimmjow was such a grumpy baby in the morning, even though he was a grown-ass man.

It was cute.

The intensive clattering sound of plates and mugs coming together attracted Ichigo's attention and he turned around to see Grimmjow struggling unnecessarily too much with getting his sunny sides on his plate. Well, how on earth would he manage to take control of the situation if one of his hands was in his pants? "Grimmjow!", Ichigo scolded the man, "This is ridiculous! Stop holding your dick, you're making too much noise!"

"Ichigo, leave me alone," the other snapped back with way too much heat. So much heat that Ichigo tensed up and eyed his lover suspiciously. Grimmjow was irritable in the morning but Ichigo knew him too well to realize that this much anger wasn't normal.

"Grimm, what's wrong?", the oranget asked. Grimmjow grumbled something that Ichigo didn't catch. "What was that?"

"I said I'm okay."

Ichigo wasn't at the very least convinced though and his suspicions only grew bigger when Grimmjow walked to their table, his hand still inside his pants. Orange eyebrows marred together. "Grimmjow, what the hell do you have in your freaking pants that has to be held with such care?!"

The blue-haired man let his plate on the table and huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose in agitation. "Okay, fine, I'll tell you," Grimmjow muttered, "But do you promise you won't get mad?"

Nerves clamped down on Ichigo's stomach, his shoulders tensing up uncomfortably. "What is it, baby? You can tell me everything! Are you hurt?"

"Stop fretting," Grimmjow scolded him, efficiently silencing him with a strict look. When Ichigo sat back down on his ass, he continued, "Well, I woke up with a woodie and I was masturbating..."

"Masturbating? Well, that's not something new..."

Blue eyes rolled and Ichigo closed his mouth. Grimmjow hated being interrupted. "So, I was masturbating," he added, "And I used lube...which then I realized it wasn't exactly lube."

Ichigo stared at his lover in confusion. What the hell was Grimmjow talking about? "What was it?"

Grimmjow paused, his eyes full of fear and a little bit of shame. "...Superglue."

"What?", Ichigo deadpanned, unable to believe his ears. Grimmjow sighed and clenched his teeth.

"I used superglue instead of lube and now my hand...is glued to my dick!"

This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be fucking happening! Ichigo felt the edges of his mouth twitch upwards and he cupped his mouth to hide it. "A-Are..." He stuttered and cleared his throat. "Are you for real?"

The despair in Grimmjow's eyes was so evident that made the whole situation a whole load funnier. "Yeah..."

He couldn't hold it anymore. It was too much. Grimmjow's face, the whole situation...it was too funny. Ichigo tipped his head backwards and busted out laughing, a loud round of laughter that could wake up the dead. But he didn't care. He laughed and laughed and laughed. He even fell from the chair and rolled on the floor until his sides were practically aching and until, of course, Grimmjow started shouting.

"Don't laugh you fucking bastard! I'm in a compromising position!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!", Ichigo wheezed but he still couldn't stop laughing, "But-ah!- it was too funny! You used -hahahaha!- superglue for...!" He couldn't finish the sentence because another fit took over him.

"Ichigo, I swear to God, if you don't stop laughing, I'll kick your ass!", Grimmjow barked angrily and kicked Ichigo's thigh in retaliation, "It's not fucking funny!"

The orange-haired man tried to sit up, wiping the tears that were rolling down his cheeks like rivers. His body was still shaking from the stifled chuckles and he was pretty sure he had a six-pack just from laughing. "Babe, I'm sorry," he repeated, "I'm so sorry, I was just...hah!... Surprised."

Grimmjow's deadly scowl did nothing to relief Ichigo's amusement. "You're a fuckin' idiot," the blunet huffed and shifted on his legs, "What if I have to cut my dick off?!"

Ichigo swallowed the other fit of mirth and cleared his throat, standing up to face his lover seriously. He grasped Grimmjow's shoulders and stared at the terrified man for a few moments before...bursting to chuckles all over again. "I love you so much," he muttered between cackles, reaching for the elastic band around Grimmjow's hips and sliding it down, "I love you so much, you stupid idiot."

"Ichigo, stop laughing. I'll break your face, I swear to God." When the orange-haired man barked another laugh, Grimmjow scowled. "I'm not kidding, damn it!"

However, Ichigo was unable to stop. Especially when he saw the issue happening in Grimmjow's boxers. That shit was literally glued on the blunet's hand! "How much did you use?!"

"I was horny, don't judge me," Grimmjow grumbled petulantly, not looking directly at Ichigo. The oranget grinned.

"And could you please tell me why was the glue on where you stash your lube?"

"I was fixing something in our room and I forgot it there."

Ichigo's shoulders kept shaking as he tried not to laugh out loud. He tried to gently scrape the remnants of the glue with his fingers and found out it was rather difficult. "I think we might have to use acetone," Ichigo said, "I once read it on WikiHow."

Grimmjow's beautiful blue eyes were full of worry and he bit his lower lip. "Do we even have acetone?"

"Of course we do," Ichigo smiled kindly and kissed Grimmjow's jaw, "Wait here, I'll be right back."

"Don't take too long."

With a sympathetic nod, Ichigo quickly made his way to their bathroom, where he spent some time looking for the small bottle of pure acetone his little sister had purchased for antiseptic use and some cotton, while he bent over and laughed to his heart's content, on the mute of course. Grimmjow was such an idiot. Such a fucking idiot.

"Fuck, that's why I married him," Ichigo shook his head in amusement and walked back to the kitchen. Grimmjow was still there, standing on the same spot with the same constipated expression on his face. Ichigo started laughing again.

"Ichigo!", the blunet growled, "Enough! This is already embarrassing as it is..."

Ichigo bit his lower lip to stifle another snicker. "I'm sorry," he said and kissed Grimmjow's naked shoulder, "I'm sorry, but I can't stop. It's just too funny."

Grimmjow glared at him. "It's not funny."

"Sorry, it's way too funny."

There was a small twitch at the edges of Grimmjow's mouth and the blunet averted his gaze. "Okay, maybe it is a little."

The orange-haired man poured some of the alcoholic fluid on the white pad, gently rubbing it over the glue between Grimmjow's hand and Grimmjow's dick. He could see the material retreating slightly. "Oh my God," Ichigo shook his head in amusement, "I can't believe you. Superglue for lube? I thought you were capable of everything but that...not even in my wildest fantasies."

After all this time of pouting, Grimmjow finally smirked. "That's a good thing. I keep the spark going in our relationship."

"I love you so much baby," Ichigo chuckled as he finished wiping the whole...mess, then started removing the glue with his fingers carefully, "You're the biggest idiot in the whole world but I wouldn't have married you if you weren't."

Grimmjow glanced at him, his long eyelashes flickering playfully. "Well, if you put it like that, I'm glad I glued my dick to my hand with superglue."

Ichigo pecked his lover's lips chastely, then went back to removing the now dried stickiness until he could start prying Grimmjow's hand away. "I'm almost there."

"You're the best," Grimmjow said and started helping out, speeding the process up a little until his hand was finally free. The grin on his face was phenomenal, it reached his freaking ears. Ichigo chuckled in amusement when the blunet pulled him in a bear hug. "Thanks baby! Thank you so much! You just saved my dick from God knows what!"

The orange-haired man cackled again and hugged his lover back, a tingling sensation tickling the inside of his chest and stomach. "You fucking dork," he mumbled.

They parted and stared at each other until Grimmjow frowned and averted his blue eyes to a random direction. "Say, Ichigo," the blue-haired man muttered, "Would you mind...uh... Like, not tell anyone about this? It's way too embarrassing and-"

No. No he couldn't stop it. No. Ichigo tipped his head back and let all the laughter he had been forcing down go. It was loud. Grimmjow's indignant shouts were loud too. The neighbors would be complaining in a few hours. But Ichigo didn't care anymore.

Grimmjow you fucktard; you make my life better with your idiocy.

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Uh. Yeah. *scratches top of head* I needed that in my life. I'm sorry. Lol, hell no, I ain't sorry I had so much fun writing this xD I hope you enjoyed it too.

Thanks for reading and don't forget to tell me your thoughts ^_^

Queen.