Ch. 7 The Calm Before The Storm
a/n: I don't own Harry Potter. Also, thank you for all of the wonderful reviews for last chapter. I am thrilled no one has told me they hated the last chapter regardless of how sad it was. And in response to a reviews question of how long this story will be… the last chapter takes us to the winter following the end of the war and I have already planned out the sequel.
The train ride was the quietest one I had ever been on. Students in nearly all compartment were holding conversations no louder than a whisper and every once and again the far off sound of sobbing could be heard. I pressed my head against the cool glass of the window and listened to my friends talking around me.
"So Blaise, Pansy, Logan and I are going with my mum and Mrs. Malfoy to somewhere safe at least until school lets in again." Azlyn's voice was tired. Most of us had slept very little in the last week with all the funerals and arrangements being made to get the student home safely.
"And I'm staying with Ginny and her family at the burrow. I also believe Regan will be there as well and at some point during the summer Harry and Hermione will be joining us there." Draco had dropped his habit of speaking to people by using their last night. Now we were all so connected together so dependent on each other; it just seem silly to be so formal. "We can't contact each other in any way. So who knows when we will hear from each other again? Just keep your heads low and please take care of my mother. And hopefully when this is all over we will be together again."
Silence engulfed us again and I wrapped my arms around myself wishing I could wake up from this terrible nightmare I was living. For the first time, the war was real. People where dying. Innocent lives had been lost and broken. Draco inched closed to me wrapping an arm around my waist and I moved my head from the window to his chest. No one addressed me at all. They knew better. They knew I could give them no acknowledgment or words. I hadn't spoken to anyone at all since I was in the hospital and I never let anyone touch me at all except Draco. It was part of why he would be with my family instead of his mother. My family was so afraid that I couldn't protect myself. That I wouldn't protect myself and they were right. I didn't care if I lived or died. I should have died. Not her.
The train slowed to a stop in London and everyone said their sad goodbyes all fully aware that this very well could be the last time all of us were together and alive. Most of the students were like that. It was a harsh reality and most of the older students grasped it more than the younger ones. My father greeted us on the platform and without stopping to talk to anyone he led Ron, Regan, Draco, and I out of the train station to a ministry car that was waiting for us.
Back at the Burrow we piled into the living room with all of my brothers and listened intently as my father spoke.
"In one weeks' time, Hermione will arrive here. Two weeks after that we will be retrieving Harry. Going on that mission will be Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Bill, Fleur, Remus, Tonks, Mad-eye, Hagrid, Kingsley, someone whose identity I don't have yet, and myself. That's all I know for now about that. And a few weeks after that is Bill and Fleur's wedding. After that, well assuming the ministry hasn't fallen by that time, we will figure it out. Now everyone knows their sleeping arrangements, it's well after dark and we are all exhausted. Off to bed all of you." He waved his hand in the air as if dismissing us from the room.
I was sharing my room with Regan and soon would be sharing it with Hermione as well. After my shower I slipped into my bed without speaking a word to her. I stared up at the ceiling for a long time before my eye lids finally closed and I fell into a fitful sleep. I was still up before the sun the next morning and headed downstairs to get some water when I came across Anna in the kitchen. Her eyes were puffy and red and she looked as if she hadn't slept at all. Charlie was sitting in the chair next to her looking equally exhausted and I flattened myself against the wall to listen to their conversation without being undetected.
"It shouldn't hurt worse now that she's here but it does." Anna sobbed and Charlie held her hand looking torn about what she was saying. "Why didn't she just tell someone? She could have at least told us, we could have helped her. Maybe if more people had known then we never would have lost our baby."
"Anna, can we not do this?" He let her hand fall and I noticed her turned watching out the window as if trying to will the sun to rise.
"I know. You tell me, they tell me, everyone tells me to be supportive of her. That she couldn't have done anything that it is not her fault. But she could have Charlie. I get it, she's your sister, but that was our fucking baby and your sister's carelessness cost us our child. So screw it, I want to know I was her to tell me why the fuck she was so damn careless about the baby!"
"Careless? You think I was careless?" I stepped into the kitchen and they both jumped up from their seats clearly embarrassed that I had witnessed what Anna had said. "I did nothing but what I saw as being best for her. I fucking loved her. And trust me I am well aware that it is all my fault that if I had been a bit more careful that night, she would be here in your arms!" I could hear hurried footsteps upstairs and I knew the entire house had been woken by my rising voice.
"Ginny I.." Anna stammered.
"Don't, you can sit there and grieve for the child you never got go ahead. But don't think for a moment I'm not grieving her to. Just because you would have been her parents means absolutely fucking nothing. I felt her kick and flip. I heard her heart beat. I would give my life a thousand times over just so she could live. So please spare me the fake support you are so unwilling to give! And please go ahead and hate me. It's not like I don't hate myself every second of everyday that I am here and she is not."
"What on earth is going on here?" My father stood close behind me by the sound of his voice and I turned to see my family plus Draco and Regan staring at the three of us clearly only catching the end of what I had said. Anna had turned into Charlie's chest too afraid to speak again. Charlie was just staring at me with his mouth hanging open slightly. And I finally felt the pain I had been trying to keep numb and away. I crumpled almost crashing to the floor but Draco caught me helping me to stand again. And I just stood there shaking until he picked me up and carried me back to my room.
Later that night, my whole family was away at an order meeting and Draco and I were the only two people at home. I was exhausted which was strange, having spent most of the day in bed finally crying the tears I had been holding back. Stepping into the bathroom I began running hot water into the bath and pulling away my pajamas from the night before. I hadn't even bothered getting dressed. I had just slipped into the steaming water when Draco knocked softly on the door.
"Ginny may I come in?"
"Yes" The door creaked softly as he came inside and creaked again as he shut it behind him.
"Close your eyes." He commanded gently and I did as he asked without question. About a minute later he slipped into the water behind me. "Alright you can open them."
I leaned back against his chest and did as he asked once again. "Something terrible is coming, I know it." I whispered as he wrapped his arms around me and held me close. An outsider watching this scene probably would have thought it very sexual but it wasn't. There was nothing but love in his embrace and perhaps a bit of protection as well.
"Whatever it is, love, we will get through it. One day at a time. Together." He kissed the top of my head when he finished speaking and I tried to shake off the bad feeling I had but couldn't. We stayed in the water together until it was almost cold and Draco wrapped me in a big fluffy towel and walked with an arm around my waist all the way to my bed room. I sat down on the bed and began to brush my hair noticing how much longer it was getting. By the time October rolled around again it would be as long as it was the year before. Most people's hair never grows that fast but mine did.
"How come you always know the right thing to say?" I asked when he sat down next to me also wrapped in a towel from the waist down.
"I don't know. I just say what I am thinking. It can't always be the right thing. I'll get it wrong eventually." He smiled inching closer to where I was.
"I highly doubt that." I whispered closing my eyes and pressing my lips to his. Moments later the kiss had intensified and his hand was roaming down my back over my towel. I managed to knock him onto his back on the bed and I lingered over him my towel beginning to slide off as my heart began to race. I could feel his heart pounding as well when I placed one of my hands on his chest and I began to trail my fingers downwards. Right when my fingers reached the edge of the towel, he broke the kiss and grabbed my hand.
"No Ginny" He whispered and I backed away feeling rejected.
"You don't want me." My eyes began to water and I felt like running away.
"I want you Ginny. Trust me I want you very badly, but not here, not like this. I've been with other girls and I can't take that back. But you are innocent. You may not see it that way not after last year but I do. And I am not taking your innocents when I don't think that you are thinking clearly. I want this to be perfect and special and not in the middle of a war. When the war is over and you have healed, I promise you I will still want you as much as I do tonight and I will willingly do this." He stood from the bed and went over to my dresser pulling out pajamas for me and handing them to me. "I'll be right back. I'm going to put some clothes on."
I dressed quickly after he left the room and was staring out the window when he came back.
"They should be back soon." I stated not really knowing what I should say if anything at all.
"I know, and I don't care. I'm here for you. Always you and with that in mind, it is late, come lay down with me." He sat on the bed and patted the spot next to him. I walked over and sat down and together we got comfortable as he curled up behind me a hand resting on my stomach out of habit.
"You know my parents aren't going to like this." I smiled enjoying the warmth coming from his chest. He was like my security blanket. I felt so at peace with him nearby.
"I don't think they will say anything about it. And I don't really care if they do." He whispered into my ear and kissed me softly sending a chill up my spine. "Now go to sleep"
He had been right about my parents. They did not mention Draco sleeping in my room at all the next day. And no one said a word when he did again for the rest of the week.
At the end of the week as expected, Hermione arrived and spent nearly all of her time with Ron and Regan. They spent nearly every day away at an order meeting while me and Draco stayed around the house reading, playing chess or just taking a walk outside.
The night before Bill and Fleur's wedding brought the arrival of Harry. Mum, Regan, Draco and I sat nervously in the kitchen with Charlie and Anna. I hadn't spoken to Anna since that first morning so being in the same room felt awkward and uncomfortable. It felt as though time had slowed almost to a stop when we heard someone break through the protection charm around the house and we all stood, moving outside together. In a few minute a tired and worn out Harry and Hagrid made their way into the clearing. Regan broke from our group first, running to throw her arms around Harry's neck. He wrapped his arms around her holding on tightly.
"We were ambushed Molly. They were on us as soon as we took off." Hagrid sighed and we all tensed. This was bad, really bad. And then it dawned on me that Harry and Hagrid weren't supposed to be the first ones back. Dad and Fred should have gotten here first as should have George and Lupin. The sound of someone apparating in caused us to all turn our heads as Lupin lead held tightly to a bloody George. Harry ran to help him and they shuffled inside followed by the majority of the group to survey the damage. Draco and I stayed behind and shared a look. He pulled me closer to him and we just stood there, being grateful that we were both alive and relatively fine. A moment later another pop signaled someone else arriving and we turned to see Hermione arriving with Kingsley. Harry and Lupin ran out of the house with Harry running immediately to Hermione relief written all across his face. Lupin and Kingsley raised their wands at each other.
"The last words Albus Dumbledore spoke to the pair of us?" Kingsley asked eyeing Lupin suspiciously.
"Trust in Harry. He is our only hope." Lupin answered and they both dropped their wands. Another pop brought Ron and Tonks into the clearing. Tonks went to Lupin who wrapped his arms around her protectively. Ron didn't have to go anywhere; Hermione ran to him throwing her arms around him. In the next several seconds Dad, Fred, Bill, and Fleur appeared joining the large group in our yard.
"Where's George?" Dad questioned staring at Lupin who looked back towards the house. Dad and Fred ran inside and we all followed them. Draco and I made it in to hear Fred mention something about ear related humor and I smiled slightly.
"Mad eye's dead." Bill spoke somberly and all of the smiles in the room faded away. "Mundungus took one look at Voldemort and disapparated."
Draco pulled me away from the group quickly and we made our way back to my bedroom. I walked over to the window looking out at the stars and sighed.
"How many more people are going to die before this is over?" I wondered aloud. Draco stood behind me wrapping his arms around my waist.
"I wish I could tell you no one. But then it would probably be a lie. All I know is that as long as I am living I will be right here at your side, making sure you live to see the end of this war."
"Always the right thing" I laughed softly wrapping my arms over his and leaning my head back against his chest. "Have I told you that you are the perfect man?"
"Trust me, my love, I am nowhere near perfect." He kissed the top of my head. "I've done the wrong thing plenty of times."
"Maybe, but the past is the past and we can't change it now can we?"
"Well technically we could, with magic you know?" He spun me around slowly and I looked up at his trademark smirk. I pressed my lips to his and giggled a bit as I pulled away.
"Sometimes you are more of a know it all than Hermione." I laughed and his mouth fell open slightly in shock.
"Take that back, Ginny" He smiled and I shook my head breaking away and going to look for some pajamas. "Ginny" He warned again.
"What are you going to do if I won't?" I began undressing and changing into my pajamas laughing the entire time.
"Absolutely nothing" He sighed wrapping his arms around me again. "Now, tomorrow is bound to be an extremely long day so we should get some sleep." He kicked off his shows, changing quickly into a pair of black sweatpants and taking his shirt off. We fell together into bed, the strain of the night making us more tired than usual. As Draco began to sleep behind me I prayed silently that tomorrow would be a day full of joy and not sorrow but the feeling of imminent danger had crept back again. I tried to clear my head and listened intently to the deep breathing of Draco and let the calm his presence brought me wash over me. As long as he was by my side, I would be okay. I was getting stronger and while I still felt the gaping hole in my heart left by the death of Merci, I could fight through the pain. I had to so after our generation, no one would have to feel the pain we felt.
I rolled over, placing my head on Draco's chest. And in that moment, I knew I was right where I belonged.
"I love you, Draco."