A/N: This one is unique in that it's the first time I've done more than 2 missions in one chapter. Hope it still works, enjoy your reading.

Chapter 7: Life with Pirates

Mission(s): Ye Scurvy Dogs * Side Mission

Message In A Bottle * Side Mission

Smells Like Victory * Side Mission

Declaration Against Independents * Side Mission

DLC: Captain Scarlett and her Pirate's Booty!

After waking up Maya finds herself alone in Scarlett's bed. After getting dressed and putting on a smaller version of her pack she goes out on deck. Trying to get Zero off her mind she spots a bounty board, jumping down Maya checks for some missions to occupy her time. Realizing she'll only have time for one mission, Maya takes the closest one and find one that's located near the entrance to Wurmwater from Oasis.

"Hey – I'm Mercer, the cook for this dumbass crew. You know the number two top killer of sand pirates? Scurvy. Number one is self-inflicted gun shot wounds, but that ain't really my department. Get me some fruit will ya?"

Maya descends down through the ship and comes out the backside. Looking down Maya discovers that her and Zero's Sandskiff is missing. "That must mean …" Maya hopes desperately that Zero is alive; in the mean time Maya spawns a temporary Sandskiff.

Maya failed to check her surroundings while leaving the ship. If she had been paying attention, she would've known that the locked door earlier had been sliced into 7 different parts – and subsequently shoved inside some pirate's throats. But it had happened about 3 hours before Maya had awoken, and Captain Scarlett had cleaned up the mess.

Maya sails back the way she came the day before, and this time instead of going through Wurmwater passage she goes left and parks the Sandskiff. Past the catch-a-ride station Maya sees a pirate village constructed in from the rocky ledge overlooking the sand flats. After heading up some stairs, and eliminating a few sand pirates with a Jakobs sniper rifle Maya came to the main pirate housing area.

Surrounded by small buildings and in the middle of a courtyard, buried in the sand halfway sticking out of the ground are two anchors leaning up against each other. Surrounding them haphazardly placed are groups of benches. A few clothes lines stretch above the camp, and as soon as Maya gets close enough the doors open and Pirates come out of the houses.

Except for a Corsair – pirate wielding two swords – Maya easily took out the pirates with the same sniper rifle. Taking cover behind the two anchors Maya was able to systematically and efficiently eliminate the small group of pirates. Heading to the ridge Maya discovers palm trees, looking closer Maya finds fruit growing among their leaves she begins collecting 20 of them thinking it would be enough.

Mercer says, "You found some fruit, good. Now –

"Ow!"

"Oh for the love of – sorry, Murray just shot himself in the leg. Hey Murray, know what'll cheer you up? Some vitamin C!"

"SANDMAN ATE MY PARENTS!" Murray shouted, both him and Mercer talking over the ECHOnet.

Mercer responds with, "Oh, suck it up Murray!"

After getting a laugh out of the way, Maya realized she wanted to do one last thing. Still hungry for loot, Maya brought out Captain Blade's Orphan Maker - just in case. Looking to an unusual palm tree, Maya spies another message in a bottle. Scaling a small part of the rock, Maya puts away her shotgun. Walking forward slowly Maya walks on the tree and it feels oddly metal.

Maya opens the bottle and finds yet another map. Working her way back through the pirate village, Maya discovers the old Sandskiff … and Zero sitting in the driver's seat. After a brief moment of confusion Zero says quite calmly, "Looks like I am back / and I will stick by your side / no matter the cost."

Maya takes a back seat, and hands the treasure map over to Zero. No word of explanation is needed, and Zero takes off. After circling a few rock formations Zero comes to cove like inlet carved into the rock. They come to a place called Hegeland Camp; it's full of pirates and a few Corsairs at that. Now that the duo is back together they make short work of the pirates. Going farther in they come to a circular dead end, a small anchor is embedded in the middle of a patch of sand flats.

Several sand worms pop up and both Maya and Zero switch to their sniper rifles. Taking careful aim, and strafing side to side to avoid the acid globs one by one headshot by headshot the worms are eliminated. Maya explains how she found the treasure last time by looking for an x, after combing the small patch of sand flats Zero finds in off to the left.

Captain Blade's ECHO recording, "After two years, three hundred looted sand barges, and no casualties, I think the men are starting to unravel. They wanna kill stuff. They wanna split the loot and head their separate ways. They don't seem to get the fact that our whole operation isn't about greed or bloodlust – it's about survival. We stop robbing ships we starve, we split up we die. I won't let that happen."

Maya and Zero sail back to the ship, and work their way to the kitchen. They turn in the mission Maya did, and the fruit to Mercer who says, "Don't worry about Murray he'll be fine, until he finds out I'M the one who killed his parents. But they were dicks, so, whatever."

Maya still wanting to spend as much time with Zero as possible, without Captain Scarlett realizing he's with her goes to the bounty board.

"Mercer here – I just finished cooking a badass meal of gasoline and shoe polish, but no one can enjoy it with Shiv-Spike around. Have you meet Shiv-Spike? He's our radio operator you should go meet him."

Maya wants to ask Zero a few questions but Zero whispers in her ear, "Not right now my dear / now's not the time for questions / I'll tell all later." Excited by the prospect of talking to her idol, Maya drags Zero on two more missions before their big talk. Heading to the plank – which is really an extended piece of metal – they come upon Shiv-Spike tied to a pole at the end of the plank.

Shiv-Spike says rather unpleasantly, "I WILL PUKE BLOOD INTO YOUR SOUL!"

"Kind of an asshole, isn't he? And beyond that he smells like a corpse somebody vomited up. I wanna feed Shiv-Spike to the sand grubs, but he stinks so bad they won't eat 'em. Get some condiments, we got to make shivy look appetizing," Mercer says.

Maya and Zero head back to their Sandskiff, and Maya has the idea of dealing with the Union sand pirates first. Zero agrees, but only after listening to the message.

"This is to the jackass who just arrived in Oasis! We don't take kindly to independent treasure hunters here – we're Union Sand Pirates. Now we're callin' you out scab, our union verses you. Hell no we won't go! Hell no we won't go!"

Maya tells Zero of some Sandskiff sized holes in the rock wall, and he agrees that there would be where they would fine them. Using a combination of driving skills from Zero plus well timed rockets, and Maya's skill with the mounted gun picking off the passengers of the rival Sand skiffs – it doesn't take long to wipe most of them out.

After giving the Union a thrashing, Maya and Zero continue with the Shiv-Spike mission.

After fighting the Union, Zero sails the Sandskiff, and Maya plus his full pack and Maya's light pack, through Wurmwater. After a while Zero and Maya come upon a place called Old Murphy's Canyon. It contains a sand pirate operation, on the bed of the canyon and on a walkway constructed halfway up the canyon wall. It doesn't run along both walls but switches twice with small makeshift bridges spanning the gap.

Maya and Zero at first go along the bottom, picking off a few pirates up top. Both of them refill on ammo from the vending machine. After that they head back along the canyon, and traverse the walkway eliminating the pirates as they go. Near the end they encounter two Badass Pirates, and Maya has to Phaselock both of them one after the other while Zero headshots them.

At the end of the walkway, on a picnic table to the left of a treasure chest sits the condiments. Maya grabs it and puts them in her pack.

Mercer says, "Got some condiments? Great. Bring that stuff back here and we'll try and mask the stink."

After that it's a relatively short ride back to Captain Scarlett's ship, the two climb back up into the ship. Once they get on board the crew mills about as usual, but they seem to be avoiding the pair of them more than usual. Climbing up to the lower outer deck, Maya with Zero close behind walks up to Shiv-Spike and slathers him in the condiments.

Mercer says right before they do, "Just slather Shiv-Spike in those condiments. It'll be gross but at least…it'll…eh, I guess it'll just be gross."

"YOUR LUNGS WILL HOLD MY FUTURE CHILDREN!" Shiv-Spike shouts.

"Great, now just push him in and let the sand grubs do the rest," Mercer says.

Maya grins at Zero, he takes the cue and they both punch him overboard at the same time. He falls and is devoured by a few sand grubs.

As he falls Shiv-Spike screams, "I AM A SENTIENT COLLECTION OF HATRED AND FEAR!" The sand grubs then devour shiv-Spike, and all is silent for a moment.

"Ya know I think I'm gonna miss him. Anyway, good job. Come one back," Mercer says and after they turn in the mission he adds. "Actually you know what? I don't miss him at all, heh."