Ch.12 Set Fire To The Rain
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
The first thing I realized upon waking was that I was definitely not in my dorm room. It took me a few minutes before my mind finally made the connection and I realized I was in the hospital wing. The dark and silence told me that it must be sometime during the night. I slowly sat up and realized I must have been drugged because the whole world felt oddly tilted. There was no way I was staying there any loner regardless of what was wrong with me, so I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and stood. My legs felt like jelly underneath me and I nearly fell. I caught myself and managed to began walking vaguely wondering how long I had been asleep and trying to piece together anything that may have happened between the fight with Kristen and when I woke up.
I began walking aimlessly, still dizzy and feeling like I was on fire.
"I thought you were in the hospital wing?" Carter, of course. It was as if he had a Ginny seeking radar.
"How long have I been in the hospital wing?" I spun around to face him but had to grab the wall to steady myself. "What is wrong with me?"
"I heard through the chatter vine as I like to call the people who talk around me assuming that I can't hear them I guess, that you've been out since Halloween. Today's November 10" He was looking me at me as if studying me. "They were right about your eyes. That is so strange."
I had no idea what he was talking about so I turned to look at my reflection in a window. My eyes that were supposed to be a nice shade of gold were now an ice blue. It sent chills down my spine. But at least the rest of me looked normal. I guessed my charms had held while I was comatose. Suddenly I could hear footsteps coming closer and I turned, planning to run but couldn't. My legs gave way and I fell.
"Damn" I muttered as the footsteps came to a stop next to me.
"Ginny?" This was now ridiculous. How was he always wherever I was when I least wanted to see him. I turned my head looking up at him from where I was lying on the ground. He reached out towards me, lifting me up into his arms with ease. "How long has she been like this?" His question was directed at Carter who looked alarmed by the whole situation.
"She just fell when she heard you coming. She's only been here about five minutes probably less. My sense of time is not so great, being a ghost and all."
"Thank you Carter. I think I am just going to take her back to my room." He turned and began to walk in the direction of the head boy's room.
"Take care of her Draco. I wish I could." Carter replied and I could feel the sadness coating his voice.
"Put me down!" I fought against Draco as hard as I could but it must not have much because it didn't even faze him.
"No, whatever this is. Tonight it ends Ginerva Weasley. I'm sick of watching from a distance while you slowly fall apart." He sounded angry and frustrated at the same time. It was then I realized that whatever potion I had been given was keeping me numb. I felt the fire but the voice was muted. For the first time in months, there was silence in my head. And rather than fighting with Draco, I closed my eyes enjoying the peace. And I stayed that way until I felt myself being place on a bed that I assumed was Draco's.
"Why here and not back to the hospital wing?" I questioned, sitting up and leaning against the pillows. He sat down by my feet staring at me intently.
"Because, we need to talk. We should have talked the day after the battle. I should have chased you down. I should have made you understand how much I love you. I should have said so many things but you looked so hurt and so angry that I lost my nerve. I spent most of the summer trying to convince myself you would be better off without me. I assumed that I would come back to school and you would be healthy and happy and move on. But I was wrong from what Hermione …."
"What did Hermione tell you?" I sat up straight, and my vision blurred on the edges. Draco looked shocked by my question.
"What is it that you are so afraid Hermione told me?" He leaned towards me and I scooted back towards the pillows getting as far from him as possible.
"Nothing..." I stammered looking down at the pillows. I wasn't having this conversation with him now. Not when I felt so terrible.
"Ginny I know there is more going on besides just your eyes." He lifted his wand and pointed it at me. I jumped out of the bed backing up against the wall.
"Stop!" But he had already removed my charms. He had stood from and stepped towards me. But now he was frozen in place. I could feel the tears in my eyes as he stared at me.
"Oh Ginny" He sighed and placed his wand on the bedside table. "What is happening to you?"
"I'm losing my mind." I whispered.
"No you're not" He took another step in my direction and I felt myself beginning to shake. I wasn't sure if it was from my fever or the fear of going insane but Draco quickly closed the gap between us. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and I leaned against his chest.
"Yes I am. I'm hearing voices. And I'm always so angry at everything. And look at me." I cried.
"Actually, I think you may be cursed. I've seen the symbols somewhere before." He whispered into my hair. "We'll figure this out, love. You are going to be okay. We just have to find out what it is and get rid of it then you'll be just you again. And everything will go back to normal."
"It's not that simple." I pulled away from him and he wiped a tear off of my face.
"I thought you were safe in your dorm that night." He whispered keeping his hand on my face.
"What night? What are you talking about?" I was confused.
"The night Travis Bickman raped you. I watched you go into Gryffindor tower and made the assumption that you would stay there. It was so close to curfew." He backed up and sat down on the bed staring up at me with tears in his eyes.
"You were watching me?"
"If I had walked up to you and told you that Voldemort had requested a death eater rape you at the beginning of that year what you have thought?"
"Back then, I would have assumed you were threatening me." My mind was finally clearing of the fog and the fire began to burn strong again.
"Exactly, I watched you consistently every single day until you went into your dorm at night. I never expected you to come back out after curfew. And that mistake in judgment was my downfall." The tears were openly running down his face at this point. And all I could do was stand there and let the burn consume me.
"He played me. Bickman knew you were watching me. He knew but he just told me enough to make you out to be the bad guy." Poor little Ginny…abandoning the boy who could have saved her all the pain. "Get out of my head!" I slid down the wall with my hands over my ears. In an instant Draco was on the floor in front of me and my arms were burning. I knew that the symbols had spread. I just wanted it all to stop.
"Breathe Gin. I'm here. I'm right here." He held me close to his chest as I sobbed and burned. "It's okay now. It's all okay."
"No…it will never be okay. It's entirely my fault." I was choking on my sobs now. "I killed him and our baby and it'll never be okay."
"Ginny, you had to kill Bickman. He attacked you. And you know Merci's death wasn't your fault." He brushed my hair out of my face and forced me to look him in the eyes. "You feel like you're burning up and you're not really making much sense."
"I don't, I lied, I…I'm so sorry" I couldn't even find the right words.
"You've been asleep for days Gin. Maybe you'll feel better after a shower. It might help bring your fever down too." He lifted me into his arms and carried me into his bathroom. It was bigger than the one he had the last year we were here but so was his bedroom. It was one of the perks of being head boy I guess and I figured Hermione's room was probably the same size. "I'll wait in the bedroom" He sat me down on the cold tiled floor and went to leave the room.
"Don't leave me" I whispered and he spun coming back to me in an instant. I couldn't look him in the eyes so I stared at the floor. It took me a minute to realize that there was blood dripping off my arms. I lifted them in front of me and realized the symbols were bleeding. I let Draco undress me in silence and waited while he turned the shower on. I gathered the courage to look at my reflection. I had never expected myself to look any worse than I had after Merci's death. And yet there I was. My skin was pale and sickly looking. Scars crisscrossed in various places. Some were from my first run in with Bickman two years before. Some were from the time I spent cutting while trying to deal with that year. And some were more recently from the last battle of the war. Sadly they were the only things I recognized of myself. My hair was the same ice blue as my eyes and the symbols ran from my face down my arms. I was much skinnier than I remembered being which made me wonder when the last time I had actually eaten a full meal.
"Now do you see why we are all so worried about you?" Draco walked up behind me. I hadn't even noticed that he must have stripped off his clothing while I was examining myself. Now all he was wearing were his boxers.
I didn't answer him. Instead I just let him lead me into the shower. The hot water stung my arms but it felt nice after being asleep for so long. By the time I felt clean, the water was running cold and I was beginning to shiver. Draco shut the water off and handed me a towel while he grabbed his own.
"I feel like we have done this before. And I'm not a huge fan of it." He muttered as he opened up a cabinet and began rummaging for something. "Go ahead into the bedroom. I'll be there in a minute and find you something to wear."
When I walked into the room I noticed something that had escaped my attention before. Sitting on the stand next to his bed, Draco kept a picture in a frame. It was a picture of us from when I was pregnant with Merci. Draco and were standing together and I was smiling at him as he bent down to talk to my baby bump. I hadn't even realized I was crying until Draco came back in the room and I turned to face him.
"I'll put it away. I'm sorry Ginny." He dropped what looked like bandages onto the bed and reached for the picture. I stopped him and picked it up myself.
"I have a whole album that Azlyn sent me full of pictures like this." I whispered sitting down on the bed.
"She gave me that this summer. She figured I would want it." He took one of my arms and began wrapping bandages over the symbols that were still bleeding though not as much.
"That's what she said about the album." It was one of the first times I let the ache in my chest take over instead of the burn. And for a moment, just a moment I felt free. And the freedom was exhausting. I yawn placing the picture backed where it belonged while Draco wrapped my other arm. "I've been asleep for days and yet I'm so tired now."
"Just a moment" He reached into one of the drawers in his dresser and pulled out a shirt I had slept in before. He pulled it over my head for me and replaced the charms that made me look like me again. "I can't do anything for your eyes. Too many people have already seen them"
When I put my head down on the pillows, I was asleep almost instantly.
"Are you sure we shouldn't take her back to the hospital wing?" Hermione's voice was the first I heard when I woke. I kept my eyes shut, still unsure of just how many people were around.
"Yes, trust me. She won't get better if we let a healer keep her full of medications and potions. Last night it was like she was here again, if only for a little while." Draco was sitting next to me. I could feel him shifting his weight while he talked.
"How did we not notice how bad things had gotten for her?" Ron sounded so guilty and I began to feel bad for him. They don't care. You don't have to care about someone to feel guilty that they are so weak. The voice seemed to always be changing. Now it was just insulting me. I guess it was just trying to do the most damage. I could feel the burn again as it spread down my sides. And instinctively I cried out in pain, my eyes flying open. I curled into a ball wrapping my arms around my sides and I could feel the blood between my fingers. If it was a curse as Draco had suggested, it was speeding up, and I didn't have much time left.
"Ginny?" Draco pulled the blankets off of me and I could hear collective gasps around the room. There were defiantly more people in the room than just Ron, Hermione, and Draco. I realized with relief that Draco had also thought to put a pair of sweatpants on me while I slept. "Move your hands Ginny, please." He begged placing a hand over mine. The burn was so strong and so painful; I couldn't have even if I wanted to. It was then it dawned on me that I was screaming. Another pair of arms was suddenly helping Draco uncurl me and hold me down. And yet another pair of hands held my held my legs down. When I looked up I realized that Harry was holding my arms down and Blaise was holding my legs. Hermione looked terrified as she clung to Ron and both Pansy and Azlyn were crying silently while leaning against the wall.
"Maybe we should put her back to sleep or something" Hermione whispered "She's in so much pain and she might hurt herself."
"No, I just need a minute to stop the bleeding and wrap the bandages, which means I'm going to need to sit her up." He directed and I wanted to thank him but I couldn't stop the screaming. Give in to the fire girl. Soon you won't be able to fight. Why make this harder on yourself than it has to be.
Between the three guys, they managed to get me into a sitting position. Draco lifted my shirt up until it was just below my chest and waved his wand to slow the bleeding. Pansy walked over to the bed with Azlyn and together, they managed to help Draco wrap the bandages around me. Once they were done Draco turned to look me in the eyes.
"You're not crazy. You are not weak. You can fight this. Find your voice. Talk to us." He whispered holding my face in his hands. And suddenly the room was quiet.
"Take the charms away." My voice was hoarse and my throat burned like the rest of me. "And let go of me please." All of the hands released me while Draco waived his wand. And for the second time that morning I heard a collective gasp.
"Curse of Blue" Hermione looked almost fascinated as she stepped closer to me. "That is some serious dark magic. You have to be very patient and smart to place this on someone."
"I guess that means that you know what this is then. How do I stop it and how did I get it?" I leaned up against the pillows feeling gross again. I could feel the blood in my clothes and skin.
"I can't remember how to stop it. I just remember seeing it in a book in the library when I was a fifth year or maybe a fourth year. I don't even remember the name of the book." She frowned looking worried. "But I know what causes it."
"Well what did this to my sister?" Ron demanded when Hermione didn't continue.
"I need you to tell them what happened this summer, Gin. And what happened during the final battle. The truth. It's important." She placed her hand over mine squeezing it gently.
"You're the only one that knows the truth Hermione for a reason. What happened between me and Bickman could send me to Azkaban." I took a deep breath. "And what happened this summer… no. It's none of their business."
"If they don't know the truth then they can't help you. And this summer is definitely his business." She pointed to Draco. "If you don't tell them, then I will. It's the only way to save your life."
"Fine, but not in this crowded bedroom while I'm covered in dry blood; I'm going to take a shower and then we can do this." It was going to be a really long day.
"Here, I went up to Gryffindor and grabbed all of your belongings. I figured you would probably just want to stay with Draco. We share a common room so that is where we can talk after you shower."
I climbed off the bed walking into the bathroom and closing the door behind me. It was time for me to face my demons and deal with the tragedy that my life had become.