A/N: Apologies, for uploading so late, but when Claptrap speaks I feel my brain cells committing suicide one by one. Claptrap's school btw. Also apologies for any grammar issues ... just blame claptrap, I always do.
Chapter 13: Zero's Fantasizes About Maya
Mission(s): Let There Be Light * Main Mission
Faster than the Speed of Love * Side Mission
Mission in a Bottle * Side Mission
DLC: Captain Scarlett and her Pirate's Booty!
"It's time to assemble the compass and find out where Captain Blade buried his treasure. This is my piece of the compass. Take it," Captain Scarlett says.
Maya takes the compass piece.
"Now combine it with the other three pieces you've collected on that table over there."
Zero places Herbert's piece, Sandman's Piece, Hyperion's piece, and Scarlett's piece all together on the table to the left of Scarlett.
"There it is, the Compass of the Sands. Please, grab it."
Zero, very gingerly grabs the compass and stores it in his pack.
"And now, we've treasure to find. Take the compass to Magnys Lighthouse."
Maya and Zero walk off then come to the bounty board.
"Hi, I'm Natalie and I love a man who can go very fast. Go drive your skiff around in circles very quickly. I find this sexually attractive."
After getting the mission from Natalie, Zero and Maya jump off the back of the ship and land on either side of their acid net green Sandskiff. Maya tells Zero to hold on a minute, and then attaches the afterburner relic to the Sandskiff's consol. Zero grins but Maya suddenly pales, Zero almost rushes over but Maya holds out her hand and points to her stomach.
Zero backs off, already knowing enough and recognizing the signs to know that Maya just had her period and was likely bleeding. So partly to complete the mission, and partly to escape as quick as possible to give Maya room to breath Zero took off in the Sandskiff. Maya briefly contacted Zero on the ECHO saying that it wasn't that bad, and she'd have the problem fixed in a few hours.
As Zero used the afterburner liberally, chasing glowing nodes in a circle through Wurmwater, he had thoughts about Maya. Serious thoughts, this had been the first time since arriving in this pirate-y adventure that he had thought about her in the regard he was thinking of her now. All respect of course, but Zero had been respecting Maya since the moment they meet on the train that crashed on Windshear Waste.
Thanks to Zero's training he was able to successfully drive in a circle very fast, all the while he fantasized – quite naughtily – about Maya and the many things he wished to do with her. But he knew since Maya just had her period, he would be set back from that possibility by a few weeks at least.
Zero drove back into the hidden cove, and successfully reached the last glowing checkpoint node. Natalie comes on and congratulates Zero, "You drove so very fast! Come back to me so I can tell you how great you are!"
Zero then climbed up the ladder into Scarlett's ship and went straight to the bounty board attempting to clean up his thoughts.
Natalie gives on last complement, "You are very good at driving fast, va-va-va-voom. I am sexually—you are attractive. To me. Thank you."
Maya finds Zero standing next to the bounty board, she approaches him and gives a smirk. "Why are you just standing there?" Zero since he feels lying to Maya would just upset her even more tells the truth…in a way. "I'm fantasizing / about you naked as marble / with wings of pure lust." Maya is speechless, and struggles for words, Zero curly gives Maya another on of his pervy but truthful Haikus. "Your skin intrigues me / I want to stroke it softly / without my gloves on."
"Okay Zero … let's focus on the mission shall we? And as much as I want to bang you right now, I really can't with my condition and all." Zero inside his helmet is disappointed, but it doesn't show on the outside. He just nods and leads Maya down to their Sandskiff. As they drive off Captain Scarlett shares a few words.
"Captain Blade built the Magnys Lighthouse a few years before he died. His notes say that if you take the compass to the top of the lighthouse, it will show you exactly where the treasure is buried…of course Blade's notes also had a lot to say about society being secretly run by sentient tacos. He kind of went off the rails near the end."
Zero takes the gunner position, and Maya sails the Sandskiff straight out from the back of Scarlett's ship. She sails in a straight line towards a place called Riptide Reef. After the two exits the Sandskiff, and climb a set of stairs embedded into a hill they come to a small collection of pirate houses, with a few pirates milling about in the open. Maya – stills secretly in pain – tosses a singularity grenade pulling some of the pirates together.
The grenade explodes injuring the pirates with shields and killing the ones without shields. Maya laughs evilly and pulls out a Sapping Sand Hawk. Zero's impressed, and he says to Maya that he'll take care of any stragglers that survive. Maya goes to town, completely wiping the pirates from existence with tones of electrical damage.
After that they move on, coming to a ladder Zero climbs it and comes to a switch. Flipping that switch activates a pulley system, which in turn raises the two wrecked Sandskiffs blocking their path. Maya joins Zero at the entrance to Magnys Lighthouse.
The first thing they find is a shack with a health vendor and an ammo vendor. After checking to make sure they have enough, Maya and Zero turn right and continue on to the lighthouse. They come to a narrow bridge extending to the otherwise isolated rock pillar that supports the lighthouse. Now that they're up close they see that there is an even bigger pillar supporting the pillar that supports the lighthouse. The lower pillar's top extends providing enough of an area for the pirates to have constructed a village.
The fight is tough and for most of the first part – fighting off anchormen, grogmasters, pirates, and rapscallions plus powder monkeys – Maya and Zero had to stay behind a half sunken Sandskiff on the pillar. As they just barely managed to stop two grogmasters from destroying their cover, Maya says, "How in the hell did this Sandskiff get up her in the first place?"
Once the considerable force of pirates abated, Maya and Zero move forward. They first raid the lower frontal section of the village, then finding a passageway off to the right they come upon the right section of the village. Pirates abound but in shockingly low numbers, it's still enough to give both Maya and Zero a run for their money. Eventually they manage to wipe out all the pirates that came out at them, and they continued on wards.
They walk forwards and as they're about to enter a mine, dug directly into the base of the second pillar of rock, Captain Scarlett comes on the ECHO saying a few words.
"If you reach the treasure before me – which you won't of course, but just in case – be careful of the Leviathan. It ate Rosco, as I may have already mentioned, and Blade's notes say it will die to protect the treasure chamber."
As Maya and Zero enter the mine, several stalkers begin flickering about. As they begin to disappear and reappear shooting their exploding tail spikes things get hectic. It becomes a little more difficult then expected, since Maya can't phaselock them while they are clocked.
As Zero discovers quite by accident, a singularity grenade still works. One by one the stalkers are eliminated, but Maya and Zero do loose some time since there are quite a few. After climbing a raised section of track, Maya jumps right onto a weird but wide sturdy spike that juts out from the rock. She then jumps up onto the rock shelf, and almost immediately gets attacked.
Zero comes up from behind Maya and jumps past her, slicing and dicing the tri-tailed stalkers into bits. Maya moves forward going with her sense, and after screaming "eureka!" she picks up another message in a bottle. After matching its location to her map Maya goes back and follows Zero up a ladder attached to the rock wall.
Maya and Zero turn right and come out of the cave-y structure and look down upon a concealed pirate village. After jumping down the two Vault Hunters prepare to face some pirates, but the town seems oddly quiet and empty. They veer a little to the right cross the village and go up a small set of stairs that connect to a wooden walkway.
Maya walks forward and flips a switch that will supposedly lower the elevator/platform. As soon as Maya does this however, pirates come running out of the houses in an ambush. However it turns to be ineffective, since the pirates have to come up one at a time to get on the wooden walkway. This gives Maya ample opportunity to phaselock them sending them flying off the edge. While Maya cools down her ability, Zero reaches to Maya's lower back and snatches the Sand Hawk. He uses his B0r skill and Bores through the enemies annihilating them. After eliminating all of them, the elevator arrives and Captain Scarlett comes on the ECHO.
"Hurry to the top of the lighthouse – the leviathan knows how close we are to finding the treasure, and sounds rather miffed. Pretty awesome, right?"
Maya and Zero both step onto the platform elevator, and Zero flips the lever. It's a bit of a long ride up to the top and Zero fantasizes again, but based on Maya's brooding thoughtful look she had on her face – Zero wisely keeps it to himself … for now.
Maya and Zero make it to the top and discover a hidden oasis of green growing on top of the pillar, thanks to a pool of water contained relatively in the middle. After walking across the entire expanse, encountering no one, Maya and Zero enter the base of the lighthouse. They both stand on the elevator, and Maya pulls the lever.
"You're at the top of the lighthouse? Lovely! Just find somewhere to place Blade's compass, and we'll find out exactly where the treasure is buried."
After reaching the top Zero has to climb a ladder, come to the round platform with a roof, walk around until Maya spots a place to place the compass until he stops fantasizing about her again. Zero walks up to the lighting device and places the compass in the right spot.
"Is it working, what's happening?" Captain Scarlett says frantically.
Maya jumps off the lighthouse and skillfully lands right on top of the x she was looking for. An ECHO conversation ensues between her and Zero, and ends with Maya assuring Zero that she was fine and that she just found the last message in a bottle. He decides to wait before really activating the compass.
Maya digs up the treasure and finding a nice grenade mod, listens in on Captain Blade's ECHO recording.
"I'm hiding the blasted treasure. It got my entire crew killed. But if you want to die looking for it? Have fun. This is Captain Blade – sighing off – for good."