Ch. 7 As It Shall Be

Disclaimer: I only wish I owned Harry Potter.

A/n: I know this chapter has taken nearly a year. I'm so sorry. Life can sometimes just take you by surprise. I've recently had my second child. It was a long and exhausting pregnancy. And I had very little energy for anything after taking care of my three year old as well. This story should have been longer. I wish it could have been. But as my life has taken on this new responsibility, I need to focus on my family a bit more. I love every single one of you that has taken the time to read my work and this story. Thanks for sticking with it.

"It's raining" Azlyn's voice is flat. Logan pulls her closer to his chest as we walk out of the castle.

"How fitting" Draco's voice is bitter and angry.

"Let's just get this over with." Blaise sighs and leads the way towards Hogsmeade.

Weeks have passed.

Thirty-five weeks. At this point, if I go into labor, Logan will be fine. My legs hurt, my feet are swollen, I can't sleep, and I feel like there is an alien moving around inside of me. It's all so bittersweet.

I felt the same with Merci, but I was detached. She wasn't mine. But I loved her. I was her home. I should have been able to protect her. But I couldn't.

I can't help the tears the flow freely these days. Some are happy and some are sad.

When Draco returns from work he finds me in the nursery sitting in the rocking chair.

"Soon love" He sits on the floor next to me and offers his silent companionship. He lets me sit for several more moments before standing and offering me his hand. "I've taken my leave. I won't return to work until you do."

"I won't be full term for two weeks."

"I know but Calvin said any day, besides you know I can afford to take as much time as I want. And I want to be here."

"You're nervous."

"I am" He smiles. Words are left unsaid. It won't be real until our child is breathing in our arms.

The water splashes up to my knees as we enter the cemetery. The small church sitting amongst the graves looks old and depressing. I want to run away. I want to go back. I want to stop what has been done. But I can't.

My family is inside the church waiting. But no one speaks to me. They all just stare with sad expressions. The only one who can't meet my eyes is Anna. I don't blame her. She is mourning the child she should be rocking to sleep.

Two days pass and it is strange to have him home. Last minute things are being finished. The nursery gets rearranged twice. He has checked all the safety precautions in our home at least twelve times. It's annoying and yet comforting.

When I can't seem to find comfort in my sleep; I make my way downstairs and find some obscure thing to clean. I'm nesting. It's strange to experience something I have discussed with several other women during my work days.

A few hours pass and I realize that perhaps I should slow down. I head back up the stairs and into the shower. The water is practically cold when I turn it off. I dry off and take a step towards my room when I feel water running down my leg. I brush it off as missing a spot with the towel, I can't see anything below my stomach anyway. Another step and way more water. I freeze. I'm a healer. I should know but it still takes a moment to comprehend. Then it sinks in.

"It is a sad day when a new soul is laid to rest. Little Merci's life was taken before she ever saw the world." I don't know the man speaking. But his words cut me like a knife. He continues to speak but I am not listening. All I hear is the pounding of my heart and the rain hitting the roof.

"Draco!" I yell still unable to move from where I am standing. In less than thirty seconds he is standing in front of me. All of the color in his face is gone.

"What is it what's wrong?"

"Call Calvin."

"Why?"

"My water broke. He's coming."

Everything is suddenly a blurred rush. Our bags are grabbed. We both get dressed. And we are on our way.

Calvin meets us in the maternity ward.

"Morning Gin" He yawns. It's early. But he doesn't seem worried. "Let's have a baby shall we?"

This is real, It's happening. Years we have waited for this moment. And here it is.

I'm checked in and moved up into a room. I've done this dance with so many mothers. Never thinking I would be on the other side. But here I am.

Calvin checks me and smiles.

"It'll be awhile. Relax as best you can. Call if you need something for the pain. You know how this goes." He leaves us alone.

The grass is soft. And my feet are covered in mud by the time we reach the tiny grave site. My entire family broke long before now. All are crying. Only two people here aren't. Draco stands next to me like a rock. There is no expression on his face, and I have no idea what is going on in his head.

It still doesn't feel real. And every morning so far I have woken up only to be reminded that our link has been severed. I am all alone now. I couldn't protect her.

A few hours pass and I can feel the contractions.

A sudden strong wave of pain overcomes me and I gasp, reaching out for Draco instinctively. He grips my hand and lets me dig my nails into his skin until the pain passes.

We've been in silence for a while now. As soon as I let him go he begins to pace around the room. He stops when he reaches the window.

"It's raining." He frowns. "It was raining then too."

"I know."

"I'm terrified of losing him." His voice cracks a little. I can tell he is crying before he turns to look at me.

"Me too" I feel the hot tears pool in the eyes before spilling over. "I didn't realize…"

"That being here, going through the pain again…"

"It's déjà vu."

"But it's not." He walks over to the bed and sits on the edge. "He's alive and healthy. And we are leaving here with a baby in our arms."

"But…" I can't finish the thought that is running through my head.

"Don't Ginny." He wraps his arms around me and we fall back into silence.

More hours…it's close to noon now. Calvin pays me another visit and checks everything again.

"Not much longer. You'll probably have this baby by sun down." He smiles. "Oh, and you're entire family is hanging out in the waiting room. You win for patient with the most people waiting."

"You're hilarious." I grimace as another wave of pain washes over me.

"Are you sure you don't want something for the pain?" He asks.

"I'm sure. Now go away before I kill you."

"You won't kill me."

"How are you so sure?"

"I have to deliver your baby." He laughs as he exits the room.

"Remind me to kill him after he delivers the baby."

"You won't want to kill him then." Draco smirks and I resist the urge to find something to throw at him.

The little coffin is slowly lowered into the ground and the ground is placed on top of it. In a flourish of magic the gravestone slowly changes from blank to engraved. When I see the one and only date scrawl across the bottom, I finally fall to pieces.

A couple more hours go by. I'm exhausted and the pain is becoming almost constant. Draco looks helpless and I feel lost. How is it that when we were just kids we handled this? Looking back, I can't figure it out. But I know he is the only person I ever want with me in these moments.

An intense contraction hits and I scream out in pain. The color has drained from Draco's face as I am surely cutting off the circulation in his hand. Seconds pass before an alarm sounds. I turn my head and realize Logan's heart rate has begun to plummet. It takes less than a minute before Carter runs into the room. It is the first time all day he has looked unsure and worried. My heart skips a beat. This can't be happening.

A sharp pain rips through my abdomen and I hunch over crying out in pain.

"Carter! What's happening?" Draco's voice is frantic. I look up at him through white hot tears and notice that his entire face looks panicked.

"The placenta must have detached, we're going to surgery, now! Go get sterile clothes on. We'll meet you in the operating room." Carter orders Draco.

But as soon as Draco lets go of my hand I panic.

"No! Don't leave me!" I reach out for him again but it is Carter who grabs my hand.

"Look at me Ginny" I do "If we don't go now you could both die. He'll be right behind us but I need to get you in there now. I've seen you through this far, I'm not about to lose you or this baby. You can do this. Let him go."

I nod weakly still sobbing. A team of assistance helps Carter take me to surgery. I've done this as a healer. I've delivered babies by a muggle cesarean when necessary. I know what is happening, but I'm still terrified.

By the time I've laid down on the operating table and numbed from the chest down, Draco has returned. He sits down near my head and holds onto my hand.

It feels as if time has stopped as Carter begins to work. All the sound has gone out of the world things are moving in slow motion.

Then an eternity later I hear it.

A baby cries.

My baby.

He's here.

He's alive.

"It's time to go Ginny." Draco's voice is soft as he kneels behind me in the soft grass. "Everyone else has left. It's getting dark. We need to return to school."

I nod my head weakly but don't bother moving. My hand is places firmly against the gravestone. I can't just leave her here. My body won't let me. Draco lifts me into his arms and begins to walk towards the castle.

"I promise you that you will never have to do this again."

"How do you know?"

"I just do"

Carter lifts him up over the drapes so I can see him before an assistant takes him to be cleaned and swaddled up.

All the sound returns to the world and I can hear myself sobbing in joy. Draco leans over and kisses my forehead.

"You did it."

The assistant brings Logan to Draco and places him in his arms. I can see the tears running down Draco's face.

"Hello Logan, I'm your dad. We've waited a very long time for you."

An hour later we are back in my hospital room. Our family has all visited and left. I'm exhausted and hurting but can't put Logan down.

"He's perfect" I whisper when Draco sits down on the bed next to me.

"I know." He wraps an arm around us and kisses the top of my head.

"You kept you're promise."

"What promise?"

"When Merci died, you promised one day I'd be back here having my baby. And here we are."

"Here we are." He smiles.

I've made it. For the first time in a long time I feel complete.

Epilogue

A year has passed.

It has been the best year of my life. Draco is an incredible father. And being a mother has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

It is the morning of Logan's first birthday.

Draco has gone to retrieve him from his bedroom while I get dressed.

Together the three of us sit at our kitchen table and eat breakfast.

"I can't believe it's been a whole year with him." I smile.

"I can't imagine life being any better than this." Draco replies.

"I can" I smirk.

"What do you mean?" Draco looks confused.

"I got a present for you" I reach into my bag for work and pull out a small flat box.

"What is this?" He takes the box from me still looking confused.

"Just open it." I laugh.

"Whose ultrasound picture is this?" He stares at the black at white image.

"It's mine."

"You're pregnant?!"

"Here we go again."

A/n: The third story has already started being worked on. Now would be a good time to Author Alert, so you will be notified when it is posted. Much love.

Remie