Chapter 17: A Shadowed Victory

They did not mention their respective breakdowns, just dried their eyes without speaking. Lyyr helped Obi-Wan to lift the body of the fallen Jedi, but after that he refused to accept any help from her. She trailed silently and obediently behind him, loss in the murkiness of her own thoughts. Lyyr did not fully comprehend the enormity of her loss; simply because she did not understand how much Qui-Gon meant to her.

She found herself already missing the man's soothing presence; it was like a toothache she kept needling at the sensation. There was no reason for her to feel so unsettled by the loss, she barely knew the man.

Obi-Wan's devastation was far more understandable; even Lyyr, as emotionally constipated as she was could at least recognize if not fathom the depth of his grief. From what she understood of the Jedi Order the relationship between padawan learner and Jedi Master often became one of siblings, or that of a parent and beloved child. For an organization that scorned attachment and lectured about its evils they certainly felt a great deal of love towards each other.

Lyyr did not look forward to telling Anakin about Qui-Gon's death. She knew how much the boy hero-worshipped the Jedi Master. To some extent she had as well. Discovering that he was her father was the best thing that could have happen to her. If only she hadn't been so full hardly stubborn and just told him that.

"You didn't need to tell me Lyyr, I knew." She heard like a whisper on a breeze. Lyyr whipped her head around and searched the docking bay; trying to determine the source of that voice. She finally stopped looking about to stare rather accusatorially at the limp body in Obi-Wan's arms.

"Lyyr did you hear me?" Obi-Wan demanded, shifting the weight of the body in his arms.

"I could have sworn..." she murmured not paying any attention to Obi-Wan.

"Lyyr what's the matter?"

"Nothing," she snapped.

"Could you please go to the door and see if there is a comlink?" He repeated his earlier question as calmly and patiently as he could under the circumstances. She set off towards the nearest door and retrieved its comlink.

"Hold it up for me if you will."

"Why not use the Force?" She asked without thinking. Obi-Wan glared at her before rolling his eyes and replying.

"Because I am exhausted Lyyr; please just hold the comlink for me."

Her only response was to shrug before doing what he asked of her.

"Lyyr! Lyyr! Did you hear what I did?" Anakin greeted her enthusiastically as they entered the throne room. The boy followed closely on the heel of his words rushing forward and flinging himself at Lyyr. Somehow she managed to catch him, gathering him up in her arms and holding him close to her.

"What did you do Ani?"

That simple question unlocked a torrent of words. Lyyr listed with patient fascination and Obi-Wan watched her as she listened. She managed to attend to the boy's tale with all the appearance of rapt fascination; yet, Obi-Wan knew that her heart wasn't entirely in it. How could it be after what had just happened? Still she made all the appropriate responses of shock and awe, gasping in all the right places. Anakin had no clue that she was not as engrossed in his story as he thought she should be.

Obi-Wan could understand why Anakin assumed she would be enthralled, it was a remarkable story. The boy managed to not only pilot an N:1 starfighter into the main hanger of a Federation battleship; but also blow it up from the inside and single-handedly save the day. It was bewildering that Anakin, a mere boy, deactivated the entire droid army when trained pilots could not manage it. Whether or not the boy was the Chosen One could still be debated, what Obi-Wan could not deny was that the boy had phenomenal luck.

"He has helped save our planet," Padmé or rather Queen Amidala interjected when Anakin paused to take a breath. "For that we are grateful."

"I am proud of you Anakin," Lyyr told him honestly reaching out and ruffling his hair.

"Your Majesty," Lyyr greeted Padmé even going so far as to bow. Obi-Wan fought hard not to stare at her in slack-jawed amazement. He had never seen her show such respect to anyone before and he did not know what to make of her sudden civility.

"Please, Lyyr, call me Padmé," the young Queen corrected her.

"Oh of course, wouldn't dream of using anything else but your name." Lyyr responded cheekily, rising from her bow with a smug grin to match. "It's just I've wanted to do that for a while and figured now was my chance."

"How could you have possibly known?" Panaka demanded.

"Just because I'm a slave from some backwater settlement on an Outer Rim planet doesn't mean I don't use my eyes Panaka." She shot back not bothering to hide the scorn she felt. "You couldn't have kept everyone from noticing that there was always one handmaiden mysteriously absent whenever the Queen was present."

Obi-Wan stifled a chuckle at the look on Panaka's face. Padmé did not bother to be so discreet. She laughed openly at her security captain's confusion and clasped Lyyr warmly on the shoulder. The queen's mirth sounded somewhat forced and Obi-Wan recognized it for what it was; hysteria. An understandable reaction to what they have just accomplished. It was not every day that a small band of revolutionists were able to overtake a droid army. He could not fault Padmé for seeking a release for her stress and he had to applaud Lyyr; her prickly response provided Padmé with an outlet. From the satisfied glint in Lyyr's eyes he realized that she had been deliberately rude to Panaka hoping to get that result.

"Master Kenobi," Padmé continued regaining her composure quickly. "We have already informed the Senate about the blockades end. They are sending a delegation to take charge of the Viceroy. I've been told that members of the Jedi Council are joining them."

Obi-Wan bowed in acknowledgement of her news.

"Where is Master Qui-Gon?" Anakin asked. Everyone carefully avoided the boy's gaze at that question. They knew what had happened to the Jedi Master; no one wanted to be the one to break the news to the boy. In the short time he spent with Qui-Gon he had come to hero worship the Jedi. Obi-Wan took a deep breath to steady himself figuring that it fell to him to tell Anakin about Qui-Gon's death. Once again he bargained without Lyyr.

"Anakin," she said walking over and taking the boy's hand in her own, "come take a walk with me I want to show you something."

Obi-Wan watched as she led the boy out of the throne room. He wanted to follow them, he felt that he ought to and help Lyyr talk to Anakin; but his mandate was clear. The Queen still needed his help sorting out the mess left behind by the Federation. Besides there was no one better equipped to tell Anakin than Lyyr.

Lyyr led Anakin to a secluded balcony that overlooked one of the palaces many water gardens. It was a private location; no one would be able to approach them without Lyyr noticing. But, more importantly the sounds of the nearby water falls provided a soothing background for the news she had to deliver. She observed the garden lost in the wonder and beauty of seeing the waterfalls and ponds but also searching for a way to tell Anakin the bad news.

"Have you ever seen so much water in one place," Lyyr murmured mostly to herself. She did not intend for that to be a conversation starter, in fact she wasn't even aware of having spoken aloud until Anakin replied.

"No I haven't," the boy remarked in the same tone of voice as Lyyr. "It seems awfully wasteful of them, doesn't it?" Came the casual observation, it had a maturity beyond his years. Lyyr smiled wanly at that.

"It does," she agreed.

"Lyyr what is the matter?" He asked tugging at her sleeve. "There is something wrong with Master Qui-Gon isn't there?"

"Yes Anakin," she began breathing out a heavy sigh. She really did not know how to tell him. "You know what happens to water on Tatooine, right?"

"It evaporates. Are you telling me that Qui-Gon evaporated?" He asked his eyebrows hunched and his expression beyond perplexed.

"Well no not exactly," she temporized; then kneelt down in front of him so she could look him directly in the eye. "Here's the thing Ani, I'm not really sure how to tell you this so I'm just going to say it okay?" He nodded his understanding at that Lyyr took one more deep breath before plunging on.

"Master Qui-Gon is dead Anakin."

"Dead," he repeated and she could see the tears begin to form in the back of his eyes. "I think I liked it better when you were trying to tell me that he had evaporated." Ani continued surprising a weak chuckle out of Lyyr.

"You know Ani, in a certain way he has done just that."

"What do you mean?" He asked around a few sniffles. Absentmindedly Lyyr pulled a cloth out of her sleeve-pocket to dry Anakin's eyes.

"Well part of him did evaporate."

"Which part?"

"I'm not sure, some people call it a soul others a spirit. Qui-Gon probably would have said that the part of him connecting to the Force, which I suppose is the same as a spirit. That's what evaporated when he died."

"Where did it go?"

"To become one with the Force," Lyyr replied knowing that that was the right answer but unsure of how she knew it.

"Oh. So does that mean that Qui-Gon is still alive?"

"In a way he is, do you understand this?"

Anakin began to nod his head yes then stopped; "No, I don't understand it."

"That's alright sweetheart in time you will."

"Okay." He agreed trusting her word.

He began to wipe angrily at his eyes to stop the tears that had started to form from falling. She pulled his hands away from his face to stop him. Then next she knew, Anakin had flung his arms around her neck pulling her into a tight embrace. She held him close to her and after a few moments she felt his shoulders shake and she heard the muffled sobs. She held him as he wept. Over his shoulder she saw movement down the hallway but ignored it. She didn't let Anakin go until she felt him start to pull away.

"I'm sorry Lyyr for getting your shoulder all wet. It was stupid of me to cry like that."

"I don't think it was."

"But I thought Jedi's weren't allowed to give into emotion."

Again movement in the hallway caught Lyyr's eye, she glanced quickly at whoever was out there, identified the person, then returned her attention to Anakin.

"True, but you're not a Jedi yet." She reminded him looking him directly in the eye. "Besides, sometimes I think they have it all wrong. It's harmful to keep your emotions in check all the time. There ae some emotions, such as grief and love that have the power to heal you. You have to let them run their course."

"I don't know Lyyr…" he responded sounding skeptical.

"That's okay sweetheart, you don't have to know, at least not yet." She hugged him again and gave him a kiss on the cheek for good measure.

"Pardon me," a voice spoke from the doorway. Lyyr looked over to find one of the Queen's handmaidens waiting for their attention. "The delegation from the Senate has arrived Mistress Lyyr, I am meant to take you to where their transport has landed."

"Oh very well, come along Ani let's go meet these delegates." She declared motioning to the handmaiden to lead the way. As they stepped out into the hallway Lyyr looked about for Obi-Wan but didn't see any trace of him. This was the second time she had caught the Jedi eavesdropping on her private conversations. She was going to have a long chat with him about that.

The handmaiden led her and Anakin to the palace's main courtyard where a ship had landed and various official looking politicians were disembarking. Lyyr deliberately hung back as Obi-Wan and Anakin stepped forward to greet the newly elected Supreme Chancellor Palpatine. Something about the man did not sit well with Lyyr and she was hesitant about bringing herself to his attention. Besides her part in all that had occurred was small, insignificant at best, all she did was place Anakin in that starfighter's cockpit. He did the rest. Surely, such a contribution was unworthy of any one's notice.

She did not want to step forward to great Chancellor Palpatine but she had no such reservations when it came to the Jedi Council. Lyyr bowed right alongside Anakin and Obi-Wan in acknowledgment of the Jedi Master's arrival. She recalled the deal she had struck with the council and she didn't want them forgetting; especially since she had made her decision. It did not faze her when the Jedi ignored her for the first few hours they were on Naboo, she had made herself seen and she knew that eventually they would get to her.

When she was, eventually, summoned to appear before Master Yoda she was ready. What she wasn't ready for was finding Obi-Wan speaking with Yoda in the hall that the Queen set aside for the Council's use. She waited in the back of the room, huddling in the shadows trying to remain inconspicuous. Lyyr's attention was glued on the scene playing out in front of her. Obi-Wan knelt in the center of the room while the aged Master paced back and forth in front of him.

"Confer on you the level of Jedi Knight the council does. But agree with your taking this boy as your padawan learner, I do not."

"Qui-Gon believed in him," Obi-Wan retorted.

"The Chosen One the boy may be; nevertheless, grave danger I fear in his training."

"Master Yoda, I gave Qui-Gon my word," Obi-Wan persisted stubbornly. "I will train Anakin, without the Council's approval if I must."

"Qui-Gon's defiance I sense in you need that you do not. Agree with you the Council does. Your apprentice Skywalker will be." Yoda agreed with reluctance. Obi-Wan stood up and bowed, he turned to leave but Yoda motioned for him to stay.

"Step forward Lyyr, you may." Yoda called to her. Sheepishly Lyyr moved towards the center of the room, she knelt before the venerable Jedi Master unconsciously mimicking the pose she saw Obi-Wan take.

"Yes, Master Yoda."

"Made a decision have you, hum?"

"Yes I have. If you'll have me I would like to become a Jedi like my parents before me."

"Train you will, Jedi you shall become."