Chapter Ten:
February 1, 2002
Have you ever had a day where you just wished that you could just crawl back into bed and pretend that the day's events had never happened?

That was how I felt today.

Oh, don't get me wrong. Today started out just fine. I was Kay Bennett—popular senior and girlfriend of Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald. The only downside was Reese's continued jealousy, but I could deal with that easy enough.

Then during lunch, I realized that my seemingly charmed life was charmed with bad luck, as opposed to good as I had previously thought.

First, I realized that Miguel still loved Charity. Would probably always love Charity. Do you have any idea how hard it is to admit that Reese is right and you're wrong? Granted, I would never tell him that, but it was difficult enough admitting it to myself!

Then, Reese was kind enough to announce to the entire school that I had been in love with Miguel for years! And he says that he loves me—HAH!!!!

I can't believe I was so stupid. I was thinking about asking him to the Valentine's Dance—as friends, nothing more. Kinda as a thanks for being so great about my loving Miguel and whatnot. But then he had to tell everyone about my love for Miguel!!

So after I saw him flirting with Jessica, I agreed to go to the dance with Jordan Aberman. I wanted to piss Reese off, like he'd been pissing me off all day. I wasn't jealous—just mad that he felt that he could easily replace me with my sister.

Simone insisted that it was jealousy that had caused me to agree to a date with Jordan, but that's not it. I don't like Reese—not like that! He's nothing like my dream man, Miguel.

But is that really such a bad thing?

"Miguel, I am so excited about the dance next Saturday!" Kay chirped happily, moments after Reese had headed to the lunch line. She shoved the self-doubt about Miguel still loving Charity out of her mind. Miguel was with her now, not Charity. So he loved her, right?

Miguel smiled tightly. "Yeah, you pick out a dress yet?" he asked.

Kay sighed happily and kissed him softly on the cheek. "I'm torn. You see there's this beautiful red one that I have absolutely fallen in love with, but a part of me thinks that red will be a bit overdone—after all, it will be Valentine's day! But there's this other emerald green one that I like too." Kay paused for a moment as she let her words sink in. "Hey, why don't you come to the mall with me tonight, and you can help me decide!"

Expectantly, Kay waited for Miguel to reply. Moments passed, but he didn't say a word. "Miguel?"

"What does she see in him anyhow?" Miguel asked rhetorically, as Kay followed his gaze to the blonde-haired couple a few tables away.

A flash of rage filled Kay's body. Could Reese have been right? Was it possible that Miguel was only using her to make Charity jealous?

With a shake of her head, she dismissed the thought. Surely nothing could be further from the truth. Miguel wouldn't treat her—his lifelong best friend—like that, would he?

"What did you just say, Miguel?" Kay asked carefully, hoping that she had misunderstood what he had said.

Miguel didn't even turn to face her. Simply, he responded, "I was wondering what Charity could possibly see in that stuffy Brit."

Fury filled Kay's soul as his words tore her heart to shreds. Reese had been right. He had never loved her—not like he loved Charity.

Placing her hands on her hips, she began to give Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald a piece of her mind. "Dammit, Miguel, what does it matter why she likes him? She has a boyfriend; you have a girlfriend. Honestly, if you're going to spend all of your time mooning over her, I don't even see why you bothered to date me—if you can even call it dating! We're through, Miguel!"

A part of Kay wanted to smirk when she saw his mouth drop in shock. She hadn't talked to him like this in years—not since she realized her feelings for him.

But the rest of her was dying inside, and she knew that she needed to make a quick exit before tears began to fall down her face. She couldn't let anyone see her cry—especially not over a guy who was still in love with her cousin.

Quickly, she turned on her heel and stalked out of the cafeteria. She had no idea where she was going, but it didn't much matter.

Without Miguel, nothing really mattered anymore.

~*~

With a soft sigh, Kay stepped out of her car and onto the hill where she had always come when she was younger. She hadn't been here in years, but this had always been her thinking place.

Whenever she had had a problem, this was where she had come. Sitting beneath the old maple tree atop the hill had always helped her sort through her thoughts.

It was cold on the hill—barely above freezing, but Kay didn't feel the cold. She was too sad, too heartbroken.

She should have known that Reese would have been right about Miguel's feelings for Charity. Reese was an intelligent man, and she couldn't remember the last time that he had been wrong about something. Why had she doubted him this time?

Because you hadn't wanted to accept the fact that Miguel and Charity will always love each other, the little voice inside her head told her.

She knew that that was true. She had been in denial for years. What everyone else in Harmony had realized shortly after Miguel and Charity had first gotten together, it had taken her years to realize. Charity was Miguel's soul mate—not her.

It had never been her, and it never would be.

When would she find a man to love her the way that Miguel loved Charity? When would she find her own true love?

Reese loved you like that, her nagging voice reminded her.

With a sigh, she knew that it was the truth. Reese had been willing to give her whatever she wanted, whenever she had needed it.

And what had she done? She had cast him aside, like a cracked baseball bat.

But now she realized that perhaps those were the baseball bats that meant the most. After all, she did have a few cracked bats hidden underneath her bed.

First, there was her plastic bat with a big dent in it, from her very first hit. She was still just in t-ball, but she had swung the bat so hard that she hit not only the ball, but the tee as well, sending all three flying. She had been so happy when she had made it to first base—truly happy.

Then she had her Louisville Slugger from her first home run. She had been batting against the Castleton Cougars' ace pitcher—"Strikeout Sam." It was the bottom of the ninth, and the score had been tied, 0-0. No one had been able to hit a piece of any of his pitches, but Kay had been determined to break that trend. Confidently, she approached the plate and ignored the catcher's comments about her being "just a girl." She would show them what this girl could do.

The first two pitches were strikes. She had just one more chance to prove to everyone that she was more than just a 8-year-old tomboy. The next pitch was low, but Kay swung with all of her might and heard a loud CRACK as the ball soared over the heads of the right outfielder and over the fence.

As she jogged around the bases, she raised her arms in victory. She had done it. She had proved to everyone that she was more than a tomboy—she was a ballplayer, and she belonged.

With a sigh, Kay realized that perhaps those cracked bats were the best ones. While she had damaged the bats, the memories still lived on.

She had hurt Reese with her so-called "love" for Miguel, but she didn't have many memories to reflect on.

Why had she been so stupid as to fall for a man who would never love her?

Why hadn't she loved the man who would have done anything for her?

Why did her heart have to lead her along such a confusing path?

~*~

"Kay, I need to talk to you," Reese said the second she walked into school.

As he grabbed her arm, Kay felt a shock of electricity and did a double take. This was Reese, right?

Reese led them into a dimly lit closet and quickly shut the door behind them. "Kay, there's something I need to tell you," he began nervously, as he ran his hand through his hair.

Kay's heart leaped. Was he going to tell her that he still loved her?

Of course not, the voice chastised her. Like he would put himself through that kind of torture twice!

Still, she couldn't help but hope.

"Go ahead, Reese," Kay replied, attempted to maintain a calm tone of voice so she could avoid revealing the thoughts running through her head.

"Kay, I, uh… I, uh… God, this is hard," he confessed. He took a deep breath and informed her, "Kay, I told Miguel that you're in love with him."

Kay's mouth dropped open in shock. That had definitely not been what she had been expecting to hear.

"Reese, what the hell do you mean, you told Miguel that I'm in love with him? How could you?!?"

"I'm sorry, Kay, but I was just so mad at him. He said that you broke up with him, but he didn't seem to care. It didn't seem to matter to him that he had just lost the best woman in the world because he was too stupid to realize it! So I let me temper get the best of me—and I told him that this wasn't just hanging out as friends. I told him that you were in love with him."

"Dammit, Reese! Don't you realize that there's a reason why I never told Miguel? If I had wanted him to know, I would have told him myself! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and try to salvage my friendship with my best friend."

"Kay, I'm not done," Reese insisted, grabbing her arm and pulling her against him.

Kay had to fight to keep control of the hormones that raged through her body. She couldn't let Reese's soft cologne get to her—not now, not when she had to maintain her anger.

She had to stay mad at him—otherwise, she might do something that they would both end up regretting.

Otherwise, she might kiss him.

"Kay, it gets worse. Uh, it just so happens that, uh, lots of people overheard me tell him this."

Kay pushed him away from her. "What do you mean 'lots of people'? How many? Five? Ten? Twenty?"

Reese shook his head. "Uh, closer to, uh…" Reese trailed off, muttering a number inaudibly.

"Reese, I am not a lip reader, so if you would just tell me, then we can get this over with."

"Uh, closer to the whole student body," Reese clarified, slightly louder.

"Dammit, Reese, when did you turn into such an asshole? I didn't ask you to tell anyone about my feelings for Miguel, yet for some reason you seem to think that the whole damn school needs to know?"

"Kay, I'm sorry," Reese apologized, reaching out for her.

"No," Kay replied, holding her hands up in front of her. "I am not going to sit here and listen to your apologies and excuses. You claim that you love me, Reese—or at least you did at one time. If this is how you treat those you love, I sure as hell don't want you to love me."

With that, Kay turned on her heel, opened the closet door, and slammed the door behind her, leaving an upset Durkee in her wake.

~*~

After she had processed what Reese had told her, Kay had to fight the urge to run back to her hill. For the rest of the day, she saw people with their heads bent, staring at her. She knew that they were talking about her and her futile love for her best friend.

But she held her head high and tried to ignore the snickers and stares. She was Kay Bennett, and she didn't run from anything.

After school, Kay was shoving her textbooks into her locker, planning to get the hell out of that building as fast as she possibly could. She didn't want to spend any more time around that back-stabbing Reese Durkee than she had to.

"So, Kay, is it true?" she heard a low voice drawl.

Unable to place the owner of the voice, Kay lifted her head to see Jordan Aberman towering over her. Curiously, she wondered what he was doing talking to her—after all, they hardly ran in the same social circles.

"Is what true?" Kay asked, preparing herself for the worst. Chances were, he had come by to ridicule her about her hopeless love for Miguel.

"Word on the street is that you broke up with Miguel today. I was wondering if it was true?"

With a sigh, Kay shoved her locker shut. "What's it to you?"

"Well, as you may have heard, I still am without a date for the Valentine's Dance. I was wondering—if you were available of course—if you would be willing to come with me," Jordan offered, with a dazzling smile.

Kay didn't particularly want to go to the dance anymore, but as she glanced across the hall she saw her younger sister and Reese huddled together with their heads bent low, as if they were sharing a special secret.

Kay knew that Reese still loved her—or, at least he felt protective of her. She knew that he wouldn't like the idea of her going on a date with Jordan anymore than she would like the idea of Reese going on a date with Jessica.

Judging from the looks of things across the hall, the latter was about to come true, and that was fine. If Reese thought that he could replace one Bennett sister with the other, he was about to learn the lesson of his life. No one made a fool of Kay Bennett and learned to tell the tale.

No one—including Reese.

"Sure, Jordan," Kay replied, just loud enough for Reese to overhear. "I would love to go with you to the Valentine's Dance."

Kay glanced across the hallway and saw Reese's jaw drop in shock and his eyes cloud over with fury. Success! That would teach him not to mess with Kay Bennett's reputation—and more importantly, her heart—ever again.