Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious
Chapter 3: Expectations Go To Hell
Tori P.O.V.
I waited, no, no I paced around her house (if you can even call it that, the place was so massive) for five excruciating hours. I thought about leaving, trust me, I thought about abandoning her and acting like I had never seen a thing, but there was no possible way I could do that. There is no possible way that I can reverse what I've seen today. I just can't bring myself to walk out that door, and even with all her constant bitching I still can't find the strength to leave her.
"Not when she's like this." I mutter without thought. And that becomes my motto. Every time I want to walk out that door and forget, I just keep saying it over and over again. "Not when she's like this, not when she's like this, not when she's like this." And the vicious cycle repeats itself over and over again and no matter what the result is always the same; I stay. I stay because of who she is and because of who I am. She's too broken and I'm too noble to look the other way. Plus I don't think I could ever forgive myself if I left; friends are supposed to stick around even when shit gets tough, you know?
"You didn't have to stay." The voice cold, distant and dreary, interprets my thoughts. Slowly, ever so slowly, I turn to face the cause of this all. The very cause of my inter-turmoil stands as she normally would, characteristic smirk and all but I can't help but feel like something is lost; something is different. Her typical intimidating features are now softened and she looks almost fragile, like a porcelain doll. She's nothing but a shell and she's most certainly not 'my' Jade, figuratively speaking of course. Fumbling I finally respond.
"I couldn't leave until you woke up, that would have been cruel." And in an instant the previous guards that were laid to rest are no back up. The vulnerability I once saw is now extinguished and has been replaced with hate, resentment, and anger; so basically Jade's normal look, but still something is different.
"We're not friends so just fucking leave." Her voice grows dangerously low and her steel eyes cut into my own.
"Listen, I'm not leaving until you tell me what the heck is going on." I retort holding my ground as she steps slightly closer to me. I'm not going to be a pushover today.
"Well don't get your hopes up Vega cause I'm not telling you shit. Get the fuck out before I make you get out." Her predatory stare holds my own and I'm at a loss for words because it is the first time in a long time that I've had a chance to look at her, the real her. I can see all the hate and confusion swirling within her bloodshot eyes and I can't help but fell complete sympathy for her will being scared shitless by her bloody glare. I open my mouth to speak but her gaze falters and she shoots away from me and out of the living room.
"What the hell?" I grumble as I hear her trample along the hallway. "Don't run away from me! What kind of big, bad West runs away from me?" I partiality taunt and partially ask as a serious question. I mean like seriously what the hell? Why would she run off like that? My curiosity leads me to follow her down the now claustrophobic, dark hallway. It isn't until I hear a horrid gagging that I fully understand why she ran away from me. I rush to the open doorway and find her collapsed on the white tile, clutching the toilet like it's the only thing that can save her. "Fuck, Jade are you okay?"
"Go away." She mutters with little strength.
"Jade, I'm not leaving you." With a surge she trashes out and slams the door in my face.
"Go away!" A rather agitated Jade screams.
I step back into the hallway, but don't halt my attempts to get her to open up. Bit by bit I turn the door knob and open the stained oak door. I step inside and cross the fairly modern bathroom, crouching to be at level with the raven-haired girl crumpled up on the floor.
"Jade what happened to you?" The tenderness in my voice even comes as a surprise to me. She stares at me with dull eyes and I repeat my earlier question. "What happened to you?"
"Nothing." She starts out soft, but then the inferno is lit. "Nothing happened to me Vega! I'm perfectly fine so leave me the hell alone." She tries to stand but has to use the porcelain throne as a crutch to support her visibly shaking body. "I didn't ask for you goddamn help and I don't need it either. Just get the fuck out since you already ruined my high." She finishes off and storms out of the bathroom. Shaking my head I exit as well but I don't follow her. As nosey as I may be I have come to learn when Jade has reached her limit and as of right now she's past it by double. I grab my purse form the couch and head towards the door.
"I'll get Beck to drop off your car." Without waiting for a response I pull open the front door and walk out, making sure to slam it loud enough so that she can hear my rather dramatic exit.
The fresh, clean air of L.A. wisps against my face and for the first time in hours I feel like I can breathe; the burden of imposing decay has now been lifted and I'm able to relax. I pull out my phone and go straight to my contacts, searching for one name and one name only. Beck.
'Can we talk?'-Tori
After sending the fairly vague message I prance down the steps and crawl into the cabin of my car, starting her up. The purr of the engine makes me hum in admiration as I wait for my phone to buzz. Within a minute I get my response.
'Yea, sure. What do you want to talk about? O_O'-Beck
'Jade…'-Tori
The word tumbles around in my mind as I wait for a reply, Jade, Jade, and Jade.
'Umm okay. Come to the trailer and we can talk, kay?'
With that I place my car in reverse and shot out of Jade's circular driveway. I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to say to him but something has to be done. I can't let her stay like this. I roll into his driveway and hurry to turn off Ethel (that's what I named my car :] ). I walk towards the shiny airstream, a sense of anxiousness rising from the pit of my belly. I rap on the door softly and wait for an answer. A muffled "coming" floats to my ears and moment later he's standing in an open doorway, running a hand through his locks. A genuine smile is plastered on his and it breaks my heart. I can't be the one to tell him about his…girlfriend.
"I can't do this." I blurt. Panicking, I turn and walk away too terrified to expose the truth.
"Tor, wait. What happened?" He places a vice grip upon my wrist and I'm unable to escape even if he eased up because he pleading eyes now have me frozen. "What happened?"
"Jade's not well." It's all I can get out of my constricting throat and confusion quickly finds its way onto his face.
"Is she…is she pregnant?" He struggles out.
"No! Oh god no! She's not pregnant, or at least I don't think she is but that's something for you guys to talk about." His features remain stagnant.
"Then what's the problem?" Words run through my mind at a thousand miles a second but nothing other than gargles come out as my answer. Frustration weasels its way into Beck and it isn't long before he snaps at me. "If you're not going to say anything just leave. I have shit to do Tori." Moments pass oozing with tension before I finally speak up.
"She's doing drugs Beck. Hard drugs and she's really messed up." I respond somberly. My tone is low and I avert my eyes as soon as the words flow out of my mouth. An eerie silence settles over us and I feel like I can hear the still air move. Then he chuckles.
"I know that. God I thought it was something bad." He continues to chuckle flipping his bronze hair as well.
"That's not bad?" I ask slightly outraged, but too frozen to speak. Maybe I heard him wrong. "That's not bad?" This time it's a whisper.
"No it's not. We all do it, so don't worry about it." He blows me off and turns to go back into his RV.
"How are you okay with this? How can you let her do that to herself?" I can't even understand why. If I had been him I would have forced her to stop, not let her keep doing that shit. She would be safe and she would be happy because I would be there for her, through thick and thin. "If I were you I would-."
"You would what?" He rounds a dangerous glimmer in his eyes. I know I'm treading in dangerous waters but still something has to be done. "You would what Tori?"
"I would…well you know I w..would-." I stutter, not really prepared to answer him. I never expected Beck to actually throw it in my face.
"That's right, you wouldn't do shit because you don't even know what to do. Tori you really don't need to be telling me what to do with my fucking girlfriend." He bits back, crowding my space so that he can tower over me. Everything snaps.
"Fuck you Beck! When she ends up permanently fucked up then it will be you goddamn fault!"
"How is any of this my fucking fault? It's her body, her life; I have no right to stop her even if I wanted to." He roars back.
"You're just letting her! And frankly you're not just sitting on the sidelines, you're acting like a fucking cheerleader. You think it's fucking okay and you're just letting her throw her life away." I scream in his face, which causes a strange smile to spread across his face.
"Stop being a damn drama queen for five seconds and think about what you're saying?" He counters with a smile but he still sounds mad as hell. "Who are you to even say shit to me? Are you and Jade friends?"
"Well not exactly."
"Have you known Jade for four years?"
"Well no.."
"That's right." He clarifies. "You don't even know her and she couldn't give two fucks about you. Don't be so naïve Tori," He places a hand on my shoulder, which I try to shrug off. "Just leave her be, she knows what she's gotten herself into and if she wants out she'll come to me."
"How can you say that?" It's a weak and final plea.
"If she wanted out than she would stop using. If she wants it, I'm not going to deny her. That's just the way supply and demands works." He says somberly, turns around and enters his RV locking the door behind him.
Soooo, shit happens. Actually I've been pretty busy with school work and other sorts of joyful things that students have to endure. Oh and my pal Karla lost the first two pages so I didn't have half of my paper draft. I know that this is super late but better late than never, am I right? . And I didn't proof read either, my bad. So basically apologies all around and I'll update soon. Until next time-
JKJOKER (aka SG for those that know)