Chapter Fourteen:
February 16, 2002
For such a genius, Reese certainly does have his stupid moments. There are some things that he just can't seem to understand.

Then again, these are the same things that I don't want him to understand.

For example, he doesn't understand why I don't want anyone to know about what Jordan did. He can't seem to understand that telling people won't make things better—if anything, it will just make it worse!

Then I have to live with people's scrutiny, I have to deal with people judging me and saying, "Well, maybe she deserved it, maybe she was asking for it."

I have to deal with my father's disappointment.

My father. The only person whose opinion mattered to me.

That small circle has now expanded to include Reese, but for some reason I can't bring myself to tell my father what happened. I can't bring myself to look into his eyes, knowing what I did.

Ok, so maybe it's not my fault. Reese didn't seem to think that I was to blame, but what if he's wrong?

What if it is my fault?

Kay couldn't believe the words that had just flowed from Reese's mouth. He had called her parents? How could he do that to her? She had told him that she couldn't call them, so then he took it upon himself to call them!

"Reese, I can't believe you did that!" Kay shouted as she sulked in the corner of the couch, barricading herself with pillows and couch cushions. She had to keep Reese as far away from her as possible. If he got too close, she might lost her train of thought. She might stop yelling before he got the scolding he deserved. "You called my parents! Are you dense or just stupid? I told you not to, and you did it anyhow!"

"Kay, they were worried about you! And your mom promised not to come here."

That hurt. Kay had known that her mother favored Charity, but had it really come to that? Had it really come to the point where she'd dismiss the fact that her daughter was in trouble and leave her to her own defenses?

It's not that she particularly wanted to see her mom. She didn't.

But it wouldn't have been nice to know that she loved and cared about her, just a little.

"That's because my mom doesn't give a damn about me, Reese. The second my dad realizes that I'm here, he'll be right over to make sure that his little baby girl is ok."

"That's good… right? I mean, it's good that he loves you and that he's worried about you, isn't it?"

Why couldn't Reese understand that she didn't want to talk about this? There were just some things that were better left unsaid.

How on earth could she make him understand that this was one of them?

During the past few hours, she had realized her love for Reese and had grown to trust his judgement, but this was just one area in which he had no idea what the hell he was talking about.

"Dammit, Reese, no! I don't want to talk about it—with anyone! Not with you, not with my dad, and certainly not with little my perfect little sister. As soon as I get home, she's going to want to know everything that happened, and I don't really feel like sharing.

"God, Reese, I don't even want to think about what happened last night, let alone talk about it! Everyone thinks that talking is the solution to everything, but sometimes it's better just to have someone hold you and tell you that everything is going to be all right," Kay added in a much softer tone of voice, as tears started welling up in her eyes.

Those words were what was in her heart, but there was one more thing that she had left unsaid.

She wanted a man who loved her, who understood her better than anyone, to be the one to hold her.

Cautiously, Reese moved the pillows and cushions aside and sat beside her on the couch. Gently, he pulled her into his arms and whispered, "Everything is going to be fine, Kay. Everything is going to be just fine."

Knock, knock

Carefully, Reese removed his arms from around Kay and stood up to answer the door. She didn't know why he bothered. She could have told him who it was easy enough.

It was her father, just as she had predicted.

Quickly, she grabbed for something, anything to hide her from his sight. She couldn't go home, she couldn't leave.

If she left, her father would try to talk her through it all, but talking was the last thing that Kay wanted to do.

Finally, Reese was beginning to understand that. It had taken what had seemed like an eternity to get him to realize that, and Kay didn't have the energy to force that realization upon someone new.

So, she had to stay where she was, with Reese. With Reese she felt safe, protected.

Reese had earned her trust—she knew that he wouldn't pressure her into saying or doing anything that she wasn't ready for. He would let her go at her own pace, content to wait.

Her father was sure to go into Cop Mode, the second he walked into the room. He'd begin interrogating her—who, what, when, where, why, how. He wouldn't stop to think about how difficult it was for her to even think about what had happened. He would just want justice to be done, without a second thought to what pain the memories were bringing to his daughter.

Reese understood that. He had tried to get her to tell him before, but he had let the subject drop when he realized how much pain she was in.

Reese almost seemed to know her better than she knew herself. She wouldn't be surprised if he had already guessed what had happened last night—he was smart enough to put two and two together.

She would tell him eventually. She knew that he would understand and that he wouldn't judge. Hopefully, he would be able to be her rock while she dealt with all of this.

So she'd have to tell him sometime.

The only question was, when?

"Kay, honey, let's go home," her father pleaded minutes later, as he reached out a hand for her.

Kay had refused to move from the couch for the past ten minutes, not saying a word. At his latest plea, she simply, burrowed deeper into the couch, clutching the blanket tightly to her chest.

"Katherine, please," he begged. "Let me help you, honey."

Kay shook her head. Her father couldn't help her. No one could help her. She was beyond help.

"Chief Bennett, I can keep an eye on her here, if you'd like. I mean, you might not be comfortable with her staying at my house since my parents aren't here, but she doesn't seem to want to leave," Reese stuttered inanely.

Kay couldn't believe how nervous he was. It was almost as if he was afraid that her father would accuse him of taking advantage of her.

Reese obviously had no idea how "Parent Friendly" he was. She would have laughed at his anxiety if she hadn't been hoping that her father would agree to let her stay. It would just make everything so much simpler.

She saw her dad, with his pained eyes, nod slowly. "Sure, Reese, she can stay here. I'm sure you'll take good care of her for me." He paused. "Here's her jacket. I thought she might get cold on the walk home. Uh, sweetheart, call us if you need anything else, ok?"

Kay saw the tears glistening in her father's eyes and her heart broke for him. She knew that this was killing him, but she couldn't tell him what happened. If anything, that would just hurt him more!

Slowly, she nodded. "Ok, Daddy," she whispered.

She saw her father give her a soft smile. She hadn't called him Daddy in years—not since she started fourth grade. She had called him Daddy when she was simply a little kid, needing his protection.

Now, she was back in that same situation. She had needed his protection, but now it was too late.

"Reese, can we go for a walk?" Kay asked later that day, out of the blue. She needed a change of scenery before she went stir crazy.

"I used to love winter," Kay confided as they walked through the snow in Reese's backyard. "It was always so much fun to play in the snow—snowball fights, sledding down Cedar Ridge, building snow forts… It used to be so easy, so simple."

Reese nodded, and Kay appreciated that he resisted making his usual comments. She didn't want to have a conversation, per se. She just wanted him to listen.

"But now, Reese, everything's just gotten so complicated," Kay continued as she reached the treehouse in the far corner of the yard. Slowly, she began to climb the ladder, with Reese following close behind.

The treehouse. The place that had been her refuge for the past few years. Kay was almost certain that Reese wasn't aware of it, but during the past few years, she had had a tendency to sneak off to the treehouse whenever she had been upset.

It had been the perfect place to sulk and plot up new ways to snag Miguel, the man she no longer wanted.

But the fact still remained that she had always been able to find peace there, without Jessica teasing her or Simone telling her how she should just give up on Miguel.

It seemed like the perfect place to go just then. Maybe there she would be able to find the courage to tell Reese what had happened.

Reese snagged one of the sagging beanbags and pulled Kay down to the ground with him. With her sitting between his legs, he gently began to rub her back as she continued talking. He rubbed his hands in small circles all over her back, slowly releasing her built-up stress.

"Reese, when I ran out of the dance with Jordan last night, I had just been so mad. I mean, you had just kissed my sister! Anyhow, he just drove around for awhile, before coming to a stop at Parker Point. He kissed me, Reese, and it was good—at first. But then he started to unzip my dress… oh, Reese, I was so scared. I didn't know what to do. I—I tried to tell him to stop, but he wouldn't."

Reese's eyes blazed with unbridled fury. "I'll kill him," he swore.

Kay turned in fear, and she saw the look in Reese's eyes. She should have known that this would happen. Reese was very protective of those that he loved—she should have known that he would react like this. She had to stop him before he ruined his life. "Reese, don't. He didn't do anything. I managed to shove him away from me and jump out of the car before things got too out of hand. I swear it, Reese, nothing happened. Please, don't hurt him. Don't make this worse."

"Worse? How could I make this worse? Dammit, Kay, he nearly raped you! I don't know how much worse you can get than that!"

"Reese, please, don't hurt him. I don't want you to get into trouble."

Reese took a few deep breaths before he said his next words. "Okay. But I am going to tell your father."

"Dammit, Reese, no! I thought I could trust you! You can't tell anyone—I mean it! No one can know about what happened! If you tell anyone, I swear I'll never speak to you again!" Kay shouted furiously.

He couldn't tell her father. Jordan had claimed that she owed him sex—after all, he had gotten her crowned Queen of Hearts. He had called her a tease, said that she was asking for it from how she had dressed.

But she had told herself that he was only deluding himself. He couldn't have been right. It wasn't her fault, was it?

She had convinced herself somewhat, but if Reese told anyone, they might not side with her. What if they felt that Jordan was right? What if they thought that she had been asking for it?

She couldn't deal with that. She refused to deal with that.

No, no one could ever know. She had trusted Reese enough to tell him, and she would have to make sure that he never told a soul.

And that's the way that it would have to stay.