Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious

Chapter 13: Alone and Bitter

(Ms. West POV)

"Has Tori called?" Jade asks. Everyday it's the same questions, most of which revolve around the dynamic brunette that has undoubtedly stolen my daughters heart.

"She calls all the time; sometimes twice a day, but you already knew that." I reach across the broad, stainless steel table and grab Jade's hand and squeeze slightly. Her skin is slick and cool. Clammy fingers lay lifeless in my palm. "Maybe you should try calling her back? Let her know that you're doing alright." I encourage.

"Tori doesn't want to hear from me. She doesn't even care about me." Her voice is laced with anger and spite. "No one cares about me." She mumbles under her breathe but it's clear as day to me.

"Now you stop that pity party." I lightly smack her hand just like I would do when she was a child and had done wrong. "Don't take your anger out on that nice girl. She's been sweet to you from the beginning." Over the past few weeks, Tori has grown on me more than I anticipated. There hasn't been a single day that the girl hasn't called. She's always so optimistic, hoping that one of these times Jade will finally pick up or dial her back. She leaves voicemails too; most of the time they're cheery, except for a few. You can tell when things aren't quite right because she's as quiet as a mouse. I assume she must have been crying up a storm on those days; whether or not it's about Jade is beyond me, but it still breaks my heart every time.

"Why don't you ever pick up or call her back?" Jade inquires, averting her eyes to the table instead of daring to look at me.

"I could ask you the same thing, gem." Jade breathes in sharply but doesn't say anything. "She's not looking to talk to me." A silence settles over us; heavy and abrasive, it envelopes us. I shift awkwardly in my seat. "Are you even listening to me?"

"I miss my clothes." She's trying to change the subject. She's such a hard-head, always running away from her problems and hiding them behind something else. Granted, I played a role in why she's her but I'll be damned if it isn't concluded that her attitude played an even bigger role.

"Once you're better and out of this cruddy place you can wear them, like 'ole times." I offer a cheery smile, but all I get in return is an ugly sneer.

"Like the 'ole times-" She mocks. "-were so damn great." Not this again. "If they were fucking great I wouldn't be in this hell hole. How do you think I got so fucked up? I never had good 'ole days." Jade's face contorts into something that only can be described as vicious and vindictive. She looks so angry, so lost. "Maybe we should just fucking pretend that you didn't send me to a loony bin. Maybe I should pretend to be less fucked up than I am so you can pat yourself on the back and think you did a damn good job of raising me, but that wouldn't be giving the fucking nannies any credit." Her words slice through me like a heated knife through butter. She holds nothing back. "Does that sound good to you?"

"What was I supposed to do?" It's unclear who the question was meant for; Jade or myself. "I tried every day Jade!"

"Tried to what? Take care of me-that's fucking bullshit because you've been more of a mother, and that's a generous title, to me in the last six weeks than you have ever been. Where were you, ever?" Her eyes glow with rage, unmatched by anything I've ever seen before yet they have a very uncanny similarity to my husband's. "I was drowning and it was more important for you to save yourself then even give me a second glance." I bow my head in shame.

"That's Jade but please give me some credit…I didn't mean to give up on you or ignore you. I was going through as much pain as you were, plus dealing with the arrangements and your father, I just couldn't handle it all."

"Like that's any damn excuse! I lost my brother an-"

"And I lost my son!" I slam my fist on the table, ire running rampant through my veins. "We were all in pain Jade; some of us more than others. If I could I'd go back and make it better for you but I can't so I'm trying now. I sent you so I wouldn't have to bury another one of my children. I'm not the fucking monster that you want to make me out to be!" Silence follows after my outburst, neither of us looking at the other; too afraid, too angry.

"Get out." Jade whispers. Her voice has no emotion, no life.

"Jade….I don't want this to be how we end today. I'm sorr-" I instantly feel guilt wash over me and I regret all that I said.

"You said what you needed to, no get out." She fidgets with her boney fingers and looks anywhere but at me.

"I…." I want to say something, anything but I know it will only fall on deaf ears. There's no way in hell that Jade is even remotely open to hearing a single apology. "I'll see you tomorrow." I gather my things and rise, walking over to her and placing a slight kiss on her forehead. She squirms underneath me but otherwise takes it. "I love you." And with that I leave.

(Jade P.O.V)

His office is so fucking boring. Everything seems stale and unoriginal. The walls are white, decorated only with framed photos of a happy family; how fucking perfect. His desk is organized dark to light, left to right; every book, pen, and post-it is regulated and in pristine condition. I love how they call me crazy but it's apparent that this guy is OCD as fuck.

"Jade are you listening to me?" His tone is questioning but not accusatory. His cobalt eyes blankly stare at me waiting for me to respond; watching my every move.

"I don't understand why I'm here. Can't you people just leave me alone." I'm not pleading with him, not by a long shot but I hate when they watch me like I'm some animal in captivity. "Looking at me for an hour a day isn't going to solve any problems." He looks at me with a knowing smile and crosses his legs. He looks happy? I just don't get this guy.

"Well that's why we're here; that's why I'm here. We both want to figure out why you're here, so tell me Jade why do you think you're here at West Meadows?" He looks away from me and down at his clipboard. He has a pen as blue as his eye poised, ready to write down my every word.

"I have no clue." I say nonchalantly with a hug. Nonetheless, he scribbles something down on the page in front of him and sighs.

"Can you tell me what happened on December 2nd of 2013?" He's tone has changed. He sounds more administrative and less playful. This guy is just a bag of contradictions; I have no idea what to think of him because I can't get a read on him; is he a friend or just a doctor who's going to pump me full of the same poison I can buy on the street? "Do you know what incident caused you to be referred to this institution?"

"Why do you even care?" I spit. He flexes his jaw in recoil but doesn't say a word. He's probably not surprised by my attitude. I haven't had a session with him before but I'm sure he's familiar with my reputation. Just the thought of being dreaded by the staff makes me smile, smugly of course. "Don't waste your time Doc. Just send me back to the common room or something."

"Have you always been this stubborn Jade?"

"Being stubborn and calling you out on your shit are two very different things Doc." I cross my arms and quirk my once pierced eyebrow, challenging him.

"You're right about that." He tosses his clipboard onto the floor not giving it a second thought. He leans forward resting his elbows on his knees. "I'm sure we've both had a long day so I'm going to say fuck the paperwork and formalities, and give you my full attention because that's what you deserve. I know you're not familiar with me and that this can be stressful but Doctor Richmond referred you to me and I'm dedicated to helping you get better Jade." His words are sincere and I almost feel compelled to loosen up a bit; almost.

"So she did give up on me; figures….Oh well I didn't like her anyway. She was a real bitch." It was really only a matter of time. Everyone gives up eventually.

"Is it wrong that I kind of agree with you?" Is this guy serious? He goes from being a fucking medical professional to a damn jokester. "But all jokes aside-" Now we're back to something I understand. "-we're here to help you but we need your cooperation before any progress can be made." Cobalt burns brightly and I can see the emotion behind them. He's not trying to hide anything; he's leaving himself completely open. What is he planning? "I really want to help you Jade. You're talented from what I've been told, but you're also a challenge and I like that. You've got a spark in you." He's words are drenched with sincerity, so much so it makes me sick. No way that shit isn't forced. All I am to him is a paycheck in his hand, and a fat one at that. This fucker is trying to play me, too bad I'm not a dumb fool like everyone else.

"I don't need your help." I sneer. "Matter of fact I don't need anyone's fucking help so save that shit for some sap that has a fat wallet and an empty skull." I shout at him, hurling rage and distaste at him without reservation but he doesn't even flinch.

"Now that's you've gotten that out of your system I'm going to read you a story." I'm dumbfounded but before I can protest he's already out of his chair and riffling through his drawer for something. He pulls out a large file and slaps it on his deck. "Are you ready? All I want you to do is listen." He offers a slight, but sad smile before letting out a sigh and beginning. "On December 2nd, 2013 at approximately 0600 Patient X was found dazed and confused in a bedroom within the family home. Upon further inspection it was discovered that Patient X had been misusing an unknown illegal drug for recreational purposes. The member of the family that initially spotted Patient X states that Patient X was incapable of speech and basic motor skills before becoming unconscious. Once Patient X slipped into unconsciousness the paramedics were notified and rushed to the scene. Once on sight paramedics removed the hypodermic needle that was still in Patient X's arm and checked vitals. It was determined that Patient X would need immediate medical attention, thus Patient X was transported to the nearest hospital and rushed into the Intense Care Unit due to rapidly dropping blood pressure. Once stabilized toxicology screening was performed and confirmed the suspicious of many medical professionals. Patient X has overdosed due to recreational use of diacetylmorphine, better known as heroin. Patient X's family members expressed extensive concern and stated that this was not the first time Patient X had indulged in drug use. At the time of the Patient's admission to the ICU there were many notes made about the bruising and damage to Patient X's venous system. These injuries are consistent with extended injection and misuse of heroin. One nurse noted her concern and stated 'It was so difficult to find a vein that wasn't destroyed. An IV was needed but there wasn't a single vein that could handle it.' Aside from damage to the venous system there were also signs of damage to the cardiac system. Although Patient X has not had a history of heart problems there is potential for future complications. A large colony of unknown bacteria was located within Patient X's right vulva. Should addictive behavior continue it is possible that the colony will multiply and result in cardiac arrest and death unless properly treated. Upon this discovery Patient X was administered a regiment of antibiotics in hopes of minimizing damage without surgery. Patient X is also under surveillance for clinical depression and bipolar disorder. Should antidepressants be deemed necessary they will be administered daily and only by Patient X's primary caregiver. Patient X will be subject to a full psychological examination following discharge from the ICU." I'm stunned. Nothing could have prepared me for that.

He lets out a small chuckle like he's amused with himself. "When I first read this I expected Patient X to be some deadbeat that didn't have anything to live for; man, was I surprised! A talented young woman just doesn't seem like Patient X to me but here you are. I know it's harsh and not what you wanted to hear, but I needed you to understand. You don't remember the incident and I realize that but you need to realize why you're here, why I'm trying to get through to you. Let me help you?" His last words are a plea. He's begging me to open up, to make an effort, to let him in; and for the first time in a long time I want to.

"It wasn't supposed to get this out of hand." I feel the o' so familiar sting of tears. "I was supposed to be able to stop whenever I wanted. That's what he told me." My heart squeezes sending more panic through me than I have ever experienced now that I know some alien species is living inside it. "I don't know what to do." The tears flow down my face silently and rapidly. I haven't cried once since I got here and now it seems as though everything is just crashing down. My mask is crumbling and all I can feel is sadness and realize how pathetic I am. "I don't want to die!" He nods, as if to tell me that I've finally had the 'ah-ha moment', an epiphany of sorts.

"You're not going to die because of this mishap Jade. I can assure of that so long as you work with me, work with this place, we make it better." He walks over to me and crouches down so that we're eye to eye. Cobalt clashes with jade and for a brief moment I feel safe, genuinely safe. "You're a fighter, and I've seen that since day one. You're gonna get through this kiddo."

"Ya think so?" I feel weak like child and my voice reflects it. I know he can hear the weakness but he doesn't latch onto it and feed of it. Rather, he smiles and places a hand on my shoulder, giving me a loving squeeze.

"I know so."

(Tori P.O.V.)

His moans fill the room yet all I can focus on is the music thumping in the background. The beats are so alive, filling everyone with pleasure, while I can't even get a lick of it even during what should be the most intimate of acts. It's not for lack of trying; trust me I want to feel something, anything, but it's just not happening for me.

"Ah…fuck…" The man beneath me writhes in pleasure yet I'm left feeling rather….limp. No thrill, no satisfaction, no bliss, nothing. Within a few minutes he's reached his climax and I'm still left feeling as empty and unfulfilled as before. He groans as he pulls out of me and I quickly get off of him and onto my feet; no point in making him believe that he's going to get any more from me but cuddling up next to him. I wander around the room in search of my clothes while he lays there in post-orgasmic bliss; lucky bastard. I pull my clothes on efficiently, not wanting him to have a view of me any longer; not like he knows what to do with a woman in the first place. "That was good. Maybe we can do it again?" He wears only a sly grin which almost causes me to cringe.

"Ummm, yea sure." I don't know if I'm lying or not. I would probably fuck him again so long as I've had a few drinks like tonight. Anything to make the whole experience a little bit better. "I'll see you later Jake."

"My name is Derrick." He screeches.

"Oh yea…my bad." I slip on my jacket and run a hand through my hair in hopes of making it a little bit better. "Well, bye." I open the door and step through the threshold as quickly as possible, wanting to get away from the probably ego-bruised 'Derrick'. "I swear his name was fucking Josh, or Jake or some shit." I whisper to myself, trying to sort through my cloudy thoughts. "Fuck I need a drink!"

Mindlessly I wander around the house. Everything just seems so foggy to me. No I'm not high and no I haven't had too much to drink, yet, but something is missing and I can't quite place it. A part of me thinks it's because I don't really like being here, but another part, a more dominate part, believes whatever I'm missing I'll find in other people. I've come to realize that I just need to feed off the pleasure of others. Some call me a slut for it now, others don't mind because they're the ones getting laid. No one has a problem if they're turned on and someone is willing to give them what they want. I'm jealous of them, really. I want that; I want to feel something. Right now the burn of something strong sounds nice.

"Hola chica!" I spot Andre in the back corner of what can be considered a relatively modern kitchen. He's resting along a black granite countertop with a ditzy, red-haired and equally red-faced Cat attached to his side. I approach them without saying a word, but Cat giggles as soon as she recognizes me.

"Your hair looks SUPER nice." For an idiot by most standards, Cat can be pretty smart on occasion, but I'll be the first to tell you it's not always appreciated. I glare at her but she's too far gone to even register a glimmer of fear.

"How much has she had to drink?" I ask Andre, completely ignoring Cat's rather snide comment.

"Just a few shots. Loosen up Tor, have a little fun and smile for once." I roll my eyes. Andre can be so annoying and ignorant at the same time.

"Just give me a drink." I grit out through clenched teeth. Andre and I still aren't on the best terms but once Jade left he was about the only person that was willing to hang out with me, so from time to time I'll take him up on his offers to go out.

Without hesitation Andre hands me a red solo cup, filled to the brim with a liquid that looks very similar to fruit punch. "I didn't ask for fucking wahoo punch."

"It's not wahoo." He chuckles. "It's jungle juice and that shit will knock you on your ass in just a few minutes." I take his word for it and down the drink. It's sweet at first, each alcohol masked behind the taste of high fructose corn syrup and red dye. The drink warms my stomach and I hum in appreciation. I step past Andre and grab another cup from the counter, quickly drinking it as fast as I did the first. I toss the cups into a trash can nearby and go in for my third because all I want is more.

"Tori slow down." Andre slaps my hand away before I can even get a hold of the glass. "None of us are trying to get fucked up tonight." His voice is laced with concern, but he doesn't know shit. I know my limit so who is he to tell me to stop.

"Just let me have the fucking drink." My head buzzes as the alcohol pumps through my system. The circulating alcohol makes me feel lighter; I want more, I need more.

Andre challenges me with his deep umber eyes but quickly backs down when they encounter mine. Andre is such a spineless fucker. I victoriously grab another drink and mosey out of the kitchen leaving behind my dumbstruck friends.

Music pounds through the entire house making everything, including my body, seem as if it's shaking. The music is contagious, drawing me towards the swarm of sweaty bodies on the makeshift dance floor. With the last of my drink drained I surrender myself to the rhythm of the beats. I dance for what seems like hours. Occasionally I dance with another but for the most part I'm in my own little world and it feels better than usual; less empty.

"Mind if I join you?" The voice is feminine and draws me out of my solitary stupor. This should be interesting and something a bit unfamiliar. I turn around to find a stunning brunette staring back at me. She's not girly, not by a long shot, but it doesn't take away from her beauty. Her face is strong but has features that any girl would dream of. Her hair is short and edgy, yet free. Her plump lips and seductive eyes could lure anyone in. She's dressed in a nice slate blue button up and black jeans, accented by combat boots.

"I don't see why not." I respond finding her to be interesting. She grins at my response and immediately envelops me in her strong, yet sexy arm. We dance casually for a while but eventually she seems uncomfortable with the distance between us. She uses her height and strength to pull me closer to her, slipping her thigh in between mine. I gasp when she applies pressure to my center. Her response is a subtle smirk. "You're a little forward; I don't even know your name." She hesitates for a moment making me wish I never even opened my mouth. "Not that I mind." I try to save the situation.

"You're right though." She stops dancing but doesn't release me. Her grip is firmly around my waist holding me flush to her. "My name is Raven." Of course her name is Raven. She almost seems a lot like the bird; preying on the exposed without fear or hesitation, claiming me as her own. She leans in and for a moment I think she's going to kiss me. My eyes flutter shut waiting to feel her lips on mine, but I am only met with the sensation of her nibbling on the salty skin of my throat. "What's your name?" She mumbles against my neck sending shivers through my entire body.

"Tori." I can hardly breathe. "My name is Tori." I barely get it out. She continues to kiss along the nape of my neck, paying tribute to the exposed flesh unlike the previous suitors I've had tonight.

"Well Tori I think we both know why we're here-" She lifts her head slightly so that she is no longer touching my flesh but I can still feel the cool chill of her breath. Fuck, this girl is good. "Why you're letting me tease you."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I don't even recognize my own voice but I know it's me because I'm playing dumb. "Enlighten me."

"I can make you feel…." She leaves her sentence open ended but I know exactly what she's trying to say. I reach up and place a hand on her cheek, gently pushing so that I can see her face. She doesn't look smug, or shy, or happy, rather she just looks serious like it's some kind of business deal. "I can give you what you need."

"And what do I give you in return? I don't want to get into a relati-"

"I don't want that either." She cuts me off. "I want to take you home and fuck you. That's all." Her voice is close to that of a growl and I can't help but audibly moan, sparking a playful glint in her eyes. This girl hasn't even taken me to bed and I still feel more than I have the entire night. "We're not going to be anything more than fuck buddies, and I can give you everything you need."

"What are you waiting for? Take me home." I just signed a deal with the devil.

A/N: So for this chapter I tried to have each of the girls get back in contact with their respective vices. I tried to make Jade seem as hypocritical as possible and Tori seem as bored and empty as possible, so I apologize if their typical personalities don't exactly match up. Obviously Jade is in a bit of a fucked up situation but I think the only reason why her circumstances are different from Tori's is because her issues have been brought to light. This fic is still Jori but I do need to introduce a few antagonists to bring the two girls together again. Hopefully y'all enjoyed the update and I'll try to get another one up shortly, but it probably won't be as long. Review if you can or just stick around to see what happens next. Until next time-

JKJOKER