Chapter Two – A rose in the wind

Jude couldn't comprehend what she was seeing. Was his name really written at the bottom of the card? Her brain just wasn't processing correctly at the moment. Am I imagining all of this? She couldn't deal with it. She couldn't deal with any of it. She dropped the card and stepped over the mess she had made, leaving it behind for someone else.

In a confused daze she walked to her car. Reaching for the door handle she caught sight of something orange in the seat. She looked again; choking back tears she realized there were more roses. She jerked the door open, lifting the vase and sliding in beneath it.

The air in her car was filled with the sweet scent of the roses. She inhaled deeply, losing herself in it for a moment, forgetting the tears that were coursing down her cheeks. She reached for the card and the real world crashed back through the moment. She studied it through red rimmed eyes. Just like the first, the envelope was crisp white with her name written neatly in the middle. Taking a breath she opened it, not ready for the reality it held.

I missed you

-Tommy

She stared at it for several minutes until the edges of her vision started to blur. She dropped the card and started her car. Stepping on the gas a little too hard she backed out of the drive. Tears were now coursing down her face and the numbness was seeping away. The emotion that replaced it was somewhere between rage and sadness.

Jude drove in the opposite direction of G-Major, heading for the highway. She rolled down the window and felt the cool air whipping her hair. Stepping on the gas she felt the cold air increase and she felt mesmerized by the air rushing around her. Can roses fly? She thought to herself. Pulling one of them out of the vase she held it dangerously close to the open window. Quavering slightly she loosened her grip on the stem, allowing it to be taken by the draft of air. As it slid away, the rose made one last desperate attempt to save itself, the thorn catching on Jude's finger and tearing the skin.

Jude cursed, bringing the finger to her mouth. She bit it harshly only adding to the pain. Reaching down she grabbed another rose, staining one of the petals with a drop of blood. I can't do this. She thought as she let it go. I can't love him again. Almost mechanically she reached down, pulling another rose free from the watery depth. Holding it tightly she stuck her hand all the way out the window and let the air pull at the rose in her hand until it finally slipped through her fingers.

One by one she let the roses fly out the window. Rose number four flew with a slurry of curse words directed at Tommy. Number five carried with it a handful of apologies, to herself, to Tommy, to the world, and to the fallen roses. The quietest whisper of love accompanied number six on its journey. Seven heard nothing but silent sobs as it wavered in the wind, saying goodbye to a broken hearted Jude.

There were only five roses left as Jude turned onto a quiet dirt road. She was still traveling well over the speed limit, but that had ceased to matter long before. She grabbed number eight staring at it briefly before letting it go, watching the petals scatter in the rearview mirror. Number nine met the same fate, carrying with it silent questions of where he had been and why he had left. She asked number ten why she cared so much. But it didn't answer so she clenched her jaw and threw it out the window. Glancing at number eleven the answer to her question seemed to drift from the recesses of the silky petals. Because you love him. She squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to admit the truth as she threw number eleven out as well.

With only one rose left in the vase Jude pulled her car into a clearing near a tiny lake. Getting out, she took the rose and walked to the edge of the dock. She sat there for some time, holding the rose to her chest. Her tears fell on it, causing the petals to glisten in the bright sun.

Eventually the tears dried and Jude looked down at the rose. It was fiery and beautiful, yet it was painful to look at. It represented so much. It held happiness and beauty, memories and love, yet it also held tears and pain. Jude closed her eyes and kissed the silky rose gently before throwing it in the lake, watching the very thing she loved float away.