(I just didn't want to convert first person into third person because it sounds awkward, so this is all in first person, but from my friend Red's perspective.)
So, as I said in my last chapter, this will be all notes and commentary. This was actually originally going to be a Romeo and Juliet-esque kind of romance between Starr Records and Ramone Records (like Austin & Alias kinda), but I honestly didn't think it fit. I couldn't space the plot into different chapters without it jumbling up in my head, and I ended up trashing that idea (don't worry, I still have a plan for that story, but just for a different fandom).
Just something that kind of connects to what is up above, but not really, for chapter two, with the Morse code, I was originally going to have Dez not know Morse code and was just going to have him knock randomly, but I felt like it would've been too difficult to explain it (Mosrse code with knocks is different than like, the original morse code because you can't really show "dits" or "dahs". Instead you have "tap code" which is pretty much using a 5x5 grid of letters except for K because it's included with C. For example, the letter "A" would be • • I know, confusing. Just look it up on Google. It'll make much more sense than how I'm explaining it now.). So that's my reason why I decided to have Dez do "s'mores" code. And I guess it worked out because I was able to make a little pun ("Of course, Austin. It's only the best type of sweet talking").
I tend to do a lot of research and read other fanfictions with the same type of topic before I write so I'm able to understand better on how someone should feel in a particular situation. With that said, I'm pretty sure a lot of the people who glanced over my shoulder and looked at my screen had probably become very worried about what's happening especially after I searched depersonalization, examples of physical abuse, and examples of mental abuse. I even took a Dissociative Experience Scale test to try to bring real life examples and feelings. So... (There were a few questions on there that actually worried me a bit while I was taking it)
But in all seriousness, the ideas and themes that have been recurring throughout this fanfiction do occur in real life. I, personally, have never gone through this, and I would never wish for that to happen with anybody because the truth of the matter is, even though I wrote this for fun, this does happen to some people. I had to do a lot of research and I've gone to different websites in order to gain and portray emotions that are as accurate as possible.
Some of that also gave me a guideline as to how I had to have Ally behave. In Chapter 1 and 2, I really had to go into depth of Ally's emotional and partial physical abuse, which does include her justifying the actions of her ex-boyfriend, her lack of self confidence, and the way that he had slowly but steadily dominated Ally's life and practically destroyed her from the inside out.
Because of such harsh themes, I feel obligated to list a few of these websites and phone numbers. They are primarily for domestic violence:
For Female Victims
For Male Victims
United States:
For Female Victims: Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE).
For Male Victims: The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men & Women; Call1-888-7HELPLINE at 1-888-743-5754
Canada:
For Female and Male Victims: The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men & Women; Call1-888-7HELPLINE at 1-888-743-5754
United Kingdom:
For Female Victims: Call Women's Aid at 0808 2000 247.
For Male Victims: ManKind Initiative; Call 01823 334244
Australia:
For Female Victims: Call 1800RESPECT at 1800 737 732.
For Male Victims: Visit the One in Three Campaign
Worldwide:
Visit International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies for a global list of helplines and crisis centers.
Note that domestic violence is serious issue, it was a different kind of story to write, but it should not be taken lightly.
Changes
Some things that I wish I could've changed are:
- The summary. I read probably every fanfiction as long as I find the summary interesting. This one, I think needs a bit of work. It was honestly something I just threw on for the sake of having a summary, so I wish I just wrote it better (for me, a lot of the times, the summary comes first and then the story follows, but that didn't happen with this one, so the summary turned out a bit... eh)
- Probably chapter 3 in general. I feel like that one was more of a filler chapter, and it was only used to connect a few dots in Chapter 4. Plus, I felt it was too rushed and repetitive.
- A few points in the story. There aren't really any specifics, just a few parts where I would want to go over it again and just revise it a few times. Most likely the parts where it's too lengthy or it just seems rushed.
Notes on the Chapters/things that might not have made complete sense
For me, the third chapter, although the longest, was more of a filler than anything. Or, at least, it didn't contain any major major events. And I feel like during that chapter, a lot of you were probably like "what the heck does this have to do with anything?". Maybe, maybe not. But either way, for those who were a bit confused by that chapter, I'm here to explain it.
In my opinion, Chapter 3 was the chapter where you would find a lot of references to the actual show. For example, at the arcade, the arcade machine "POWER DRIFT" wasn't something I just made up in my head, actually, if you re-watch the ending of Rockers & Writers when Ally is introduced to the new room, there is a "POWER DRIFT" arcade game machine located in the setting. I know that it was never seen again afterwards and was probably meant for Austin/Dez in the show, but I really wanted it to be something both Austin and Ally shared as a fun experience together. Also, I thought that seeing as though Austin mentioned in the show how the pizza parlor and the arcade were his favorite places, I thought it was a nice bonus.
As for the prizes, I included that for a few reasons, part of it was just to hint at Austin and Ally's relationship via Mr. Wilson (a completely made up character), and to add a few more references to the show. One of the prizes that Austin wanted was a dolphin, and a butterfly tattoo. The dolphin was Dougie from Bloggers & Butterflies, just to let you know. How many of you guys actually got that reference? I wanted Dougie to be kind of how boyfriends try to win a game to get a stuffed animal for their girlfriends. Well, it was kinda like that. Plus, it was also my way of showing a different side of Austin. Even though he really wanted that dolphin, he decided to give it to Ally instead.
The butterfly tattoo was also sort of a reference to Bloggers & Butterflies. I know a lot of you probably don't even care about the gold drop helicopis butterfly I wrote in as the tattoo that Ally chose. One of the main reason why I chose the gold drop helicopis, also known as the helicopis cupido was mainly just for the fact that it was cool looking and wasn't the standard monarch butterfly. The other reason was because I wanted to show the idea of looking at things twice, even though in Bloggers & Butterflies "The Butterfly Song" was mainly about empowerment and being able to reach your goals. To Austin, the first time he actually saw the butterfly tattoo it probably looked a bit freakish and plain (based on the curvy tails and color), but upon closer inspection does he realize the true beauty and uniqueness of it, much like Ally. I guess in my own way, it was my sucky way of trying to execute a metaphor between Ally and a helicopis cupido. (Just look up "gold drop helicopis butterfly" on google images and it'll probably be the first one that pops up)
There were also a few parts that I took from the actual show. For example, the drum/corndog scene with Austin & Ally. (I even took the shirt and necklace from the beginning of Spas & Spices to describe Ally's new outfit in Chapter 4)
Lyric to Story Analysis
I remember life before/ Faraway dreams and locking doors – This relates to the first and second chapter. In the first 2 chapters, you see how Ally is purposefully distancing herself from her family. I really accented the idea of her bedroom door as a barrier between her and everyone else, and the lyric "locking doors" is really what inspired that idea. Also, I like how a door can be a reflection as Ally. She was constantly closing herself off from everyone, but then it is forcibly opened (the door, not Ally), and that can really be a way to show how Austin managed to find a crack in Ally and start opening her up (that sounds really disgusting once I put it down in words...)
Then you came, then you came – That was just the end of chapter one/beginning of chapter two with Austin coming into her life.
Afraid to fall, to be free/ Always my own worst enemy/ Isn't what, what you see – This is pretty much the flashbacks that Ally kept on having. This is kind of like your inner demon, the voice inside of you who's always making you doubt yourself. And unfortunately for Ally, hers was very loud and present. Because of that, she became her own enemy because there was always a battle with herself internally.
I took time to realize/ That I couldn't do it by myself, myself – Almost an actual quote from the story ("But she couldn't do this by herself."). It was from chapter two, right before Ally decided to respond to Austin by knocking back. She went through her inner battle with whether or not she should trust Austin and let him into her life.
With you it all begins/ Feeling okay in my own skin/ So alive, I'm so alive – This was used numerous times in chapter three. The first time was Penny's point of view when Ally asked to go to Mini's with Austin ("Now, it only took one boy to turn it all around to make her seem alive.") which shows the character change Penny noticed with Ally. The next time was when Ally and Austin were playing arcade games ("She felt so carefree and relaxed and so... alive.") This is Ally being able to recognize her own joy and happiness instead of immediately stomping it out. The last time it was used in Chapter three was when Austin watched Ally play the piano ("He watched her play; she looked so alive and upbeat.") This is something that happens to everyone, they tend to light up whenever they do something they love, and Ally is sincerely enjoying something that she's good at, which makes her seem so much more radiant.
I know this life isn't gonna be perfect/ The ups and downs are gonna be worth it/ As long as I'm, I'm with you – This was covertly slipped into the arcade scene ("There were times when she lost against Austin, but there were also times when she surprised him and actually won. They were normally the chance games and one time on Pacman, but either way, whether she won or lost, it was just entertaining and amusing just to be there, as long as Austin was there to enjoy the fun with her.") So, with this you can see the "ups and downs" are Ally winning and losing at the arcade games, knowing her it "isn't gonna be perfect" is when she realized that whether she won or lost, playing the game was amusing and entertaining, and "As long as I'm with you" was just having Austin there to enjoy it with her.
When I'm standing at the edge/ It's such a long way down – This was used in Chapter four when Austin and Ally were writing notes to each other, right before Ally performed Parachute ("I'm scared. I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff and I'm about to fall.") It was used to describe Ally's nervousness for performing.
And I second-guess myself/ You better catch me now – This was also used in Chapter four, it was used write after the other line. ("Don't doubt yourself. I know you'll do great. If you ever fall, I'll catch you") Which was Austin assuring Ally that people would like her music and that if anything happened to her, he would always be there to protect her in one way or another.
Never touch the ground – This was used earlier in chapter 4 when Ally was describing the feeling she had with Austin ("She felt like she was floating, but in the way that made her feel like she never wanted to touch the ground.") Which was my way of showing how, now, Ally's just come to this blissful and peaceful state of mind, and she doesn't have life weighing her down.
There's no gravity when you're next to me/ You always break my fall like a parachute/ When you're holding me so well it's like I barely breathe/ You always break my fall, my fall/ Like a parachute/ You're my parachute – All in all, themes of this were hinted throughout the whole story, there hasn't been a specific except for the very end of the story (And "Don't doubt yourself. I know you'll do great. If you ever fall, I'll catch you" and "It may be scary. But he'll always break her fall. He'll be her parachute.") But I also hinted at it in the beginning of Chapter 4 as well. I won't post the whole thing in parenthesis because it's too long, but to sum it all up it was pretty much just Ally's feeling about her life before and after Austin.
So, I guess now you kinda feel a bit weird for not noticing all the small tidbits of information that was placed into the story that ultimately lead to one large song... Ahhh! So furtive and covert of me =P
General Questions
Where did the title come from?
Well, as most of you probably figured out via fourth chapter/Ally's song performance/music inclusion, that the title "No Gravity" was based off of the song lyrics in Parachute ("There's no gravity, when you're next to me"). I was thinking of naming this fanfiction "Parachute" but I thought that it would be too obvious on what the story is based off of and everyone would catch on. And I didn't want that, I wanted that gasp moment probably everyone had. I'm pretty sure that I chose to use the words "No Gravity" as the title because of the strong lead that Laura Marano has in that part, like that is the part where she really starts belting it out, and also, the feeling of no gravity can go both ways, and that idea was used the beginning of chapter four. On one side, feeling like there's no gravity around you can be a bad thing. It could feel like you're kind of drifting off into space, and there's nothing to really ground you to anything, so in reality you'd just be floating aimlessly. There is also that sense of not being in touch with reality or the rest of your body because there's nothing that grounds you to remind you that you're still there in the first place, so you're just kind of numb to the world. But there's always that other side of feeling weightless. Like you're floating on cloud nine, total ecstasy, and all weight was taken off pf your shoulders so there's nothing that is keeping you down, and there was also the idea of not being quite grounded yet, but you have someone (in this case, Austin), who'll hold your hand and keep you from floating away. So I played a bit into that idea of different types of weightlessness from the title.
Who is "he"?
For those who wanted to "he" was, aka Ally's ex boyfriend. I wanted to make this person as vague as possible, meaning no description of physical appearance or anything. The only description I gave him was making him a male. And that was because I don't think I could've correctly and accurately portrayed Ally as a lesbian or bisexual. Also, there are a lot less examples of abuse from homosexual couples than heterosexual couples. And with a homosexual relationship there's a whole other aspect of abuse one can endure such as threatening to "out" someone, and not wanting to actually seek help in fear of outing themselves. Going back to my original point, I honestly don't know who "he" is. I never knew who I was writing about when I created him. There was never a specific person or face I put and began writing from there. My little stroke of genius there: creating an original character without all of the little details. Really, I was just generalizing his character. Although "he" is a nameless figure he represents all of the abusive relationships/people out there.
Are you going to do an epilogue and/or sequel?
Sorry, but this is it. For me personally, I find it extremely difficult to write good epilogues. A lot of those that I read normally include Austin and Ally married with kids. And in my opinion, I just don't like when people do that. Most of the reason why is because I feel like history should run its course by itself, so people shouldn't try to force a future and kids into a story. I know that doesn't completely make sense, but whatever, I just don't like when that happens. Another reason why I don't like epilogues is mainly for the fact that I've seen so few fanfictions/fanfiction writers who can actually write a good epilogue. And lastly, I'm not doing an epilogue because I don't want to. It's not just because I'm lazy, but I feel like an epilogue is supposed to represent some sort of closure, but I feel like that shouldn't happen. Going back to my first reason, a lot of people have an epilogue as being "married, had kids, have a successful job, happily ever after, the end", but I think that this story shouldn't have that (and I'd probably make their family so stereotypical with the white picket fence and the 2.5 kids and all that). I want my story to leave behind an ending where there's a hint of something more, but it's really just a mystery, because really, we don't know what's going to happen next. And for a sequel, pretty much the same reasoning as above, I don't want to force another type of adventure to happen. I don't think there is much more I could do. Yes, I probably could develop Trish and Dez's characters more, but I feel like I left it in a good place, and that's where it's staying.
I know this probably doesn't make sense either, but whatever. I guess my main point is that I like where the story ends, I'm not good at epilogue writing anyway, so there's no point in ruining it, and I don't think that I would be able to progress this into another story. If you have any questions that I didn't answer, leave them in the comments section below.
Again, thank you all so much for your support as I wrote. It was a pleasure to read your comments.
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