"So, you survived. You are full of surprises, Vandermine."

"It appears that way, doesn't it."

"You know that I was showing mercy. By killing you, I would have spared you a long and troubled future. You deserved that much. A man as noble and powerful as you does not deserve my fate. Your friends are not as considerate as me."

"They did what they thought was right. Life, no matter how troubled, is better than death."

"You will become another me, Vandermine. They will fear you and hunt you."

"Maybe. You underestimate the hearts of man."

"I underestimate nothing! You will see. When you are abandoned, thrown to the wild and branded an outlaw, think about the chance I gave you. Think about the mercy that Johannes Outrider offered you."

"If, Johannes, if I am abandoned."

There was a flash of light and Johannes died.

"You will be…"

Harry sat through most of the car ride home in silence. He wondered what he would tell Hermione about the trip, if she asked. Knowing her, she would want to know all about it, even though she did not go herself. There was not much to tell her that did would make Vandermine look better in her eyes. All that he saw in that building reinforced her beliefs that he was a cruel, heartless killer. Not all of it, actually; the stuff Judder had told him and some stuff from the Pensieve showed otherwise, but she would hardly believe that unless she saw it on her own.

"What did he show you guys?"

"Huh?"

"What did Lucas show you guys? Did he show you all three rooms?"

"Oh… yeah."

"Which did you like the best?"

"The vault."

"Really? Most visitors like the armory or the Sim-room the best."

"The armory was impressive, but I'm not that interested in weapons."

"And the Sim-room?"

"Too much killing. Watching Vandermine going at those, what were they called, orcs? It scared me a little, I guess."

"Why?"

"He seems… I don't know, too violent. When he killed them in the Sim-room, he did it without mercy, without even thinking, it looked like. I've never seen someone that detached and cold. Not even Voldemort's lackeys were that… quiet. They at least spoke and showed emotions. With Vandermine, he just, does it. He killed them all with a straight face, he didn't even blink."

"Lucas doesn't let his emotions get in his way when he fights. It helps in our line of work. Creates less distractions."

"But none of you are that calm. It's inhuman how he does all that without a trace of sorrow, or happiness, or anger, or…"

"You're right, it is inhuman. Lucas has been through hell on this earth. The things that have happened to him have taught him how to completely shut out many things from his life. When you saw him though, was his face blank or did it look a grim?"

"Grim."

"You saw him in deep concentration then. Completely severing your emotions from showing is impossible. He's found a way around that, although it's not a very good option."

"What does he do?"

"Rage. He calls to mind every bad memory that he can. All that anger builds a up like a barrier, protecting his mind from the realities of what surrounds him. By concentrating only on his anger, he can narrow his focus solely onto killing his enemies."

"Does he ever get out of control?"

"yes, but not in the sense that you're thinking of. He never goes wild, but the anger can drive him berserk. That's when his animalistic side starts kicking in. He drops his weapons and chases down his enemies without a weapon. Rip them apart with his bare hands."

"Ugh." Harry glanced into the backseat for a trashcan. His stomach was feeling queasy.

"Sorry about that."

"It's alright, I asked. But how does he do it? There is no way he can focus that much on his own."

"Lucas told me that you found Johannes' wand in the armory."

"Is that how?"

"Yes. Johannes' wand gives him that extra edge of focus. That's why he uses it."

"That can't be the only reason why. I've seen him carrying it around at Hogwarts, I think. Why would he need it then?"

Judder sighed, the kind of sigh that people give when confronted with an unavoidable admission.

"I shouldn't be telling you this."

"I promise I won't tell anyone."

"Yeah, anyone but Ron and Hermione and Neville. Actually, Neville already knows."

"What is it?"

"You heard that Lucas turned his back on magic after he was arrested, right."

"Yeah."

"Well, did anyone tell you that he broke his wand when he did that?"

"He did what?"

"Broke his wand. Snapped it clean in half."

Harry looked down at his own wand. He could not imagine breaking his wand. It was a part of his life, almost like a third arm.

"Breaking your own wand is the closest thing that a wizard can do to sever his connection with magic. It destroys most of your magic abilities."

"Is that what happened to him?"

"Yes. Without Johannes' wand, he can barely lift a feather."

"Why does Johannes' wand matter?"

"A couple reasons. First, Johannes' wand is immensely powerful. There are very few wands in existence that are as powerful as that one. It's had hundreds of years of magic poured into it. You can't imagine how much that wand can do."

"Is it unbeatable?"

"Oh no, it can be beaten just as easily as the next wand. Its spells, however, are some of the most powerful in the world. Use it more than a few times in succession and it'll start draining your strength."

"That's not very useful then, is it?"

"He never needs more than a few."

"True. What's the other reason?"

"Back when Johannes was alive, he gave his wand the power to control his transformations. When Lucas has it, he does not suffer any of the effects of vampirism or being part-werewolf."

"Huh? I thought that those effects were counteracted by the poison."

"Not totally. Without the wand, he gets sick in sunlight, can't eat garlic and is repulsed by crosses. All the usual vampire stuff. And he still changes on full moons."

"But Johannes' wand counteracts that."

"Yeah. The tradeoff is that his mind is poisoned by Johannes' wand. I'm sure you felt it at least try to enter your mind."

"It did. But Vandermine said it did not bother him anymore."

"Do you believe that?"

"No."

Judder nodded approvingly. "If it really isn't bothering him, that means that it has already affected him enough that he can't feel it working on him."

"What does it do to him?"

"When Lucas doesn't have the wand, he picks fights with people and is constantly cranky. When he does have the wand, he is calmer, cynical and sarcastic."

"But what does it do to him? Anything more specific?"

"Like what? Is it killing him inside? Not literally, but its eating away his humanity. Ever since he started wielding the wand, his transformations have not occurred as often or as dangerously, but he has become harder to reach. He spends a lot of time brooding on his past."

"Does he realize that it is affected him?"

"If he does, he's not rejecting it. I've tried to convince him to let it go before. He almost attacked me one of those times."

"Seriously?"

"It is definitely doing something to him." The car pulled into the driveway of Number 4, Privet Drive. Harry sighed regretfully and hopped out of the car. He could already see Aunt Petunia glaring at him through the window.

"Oh, Harry." Judder came out of the car and went to knock on the door. While they waited for the Dursleys to open it, he gave Harry a grave look.

"If anyone but Ron and Hermione ask, we did not have those conversations in the car. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I guess." The door opened to reveal Uncle Vernon's scowling features. Harry was not the only one who wanted himself out of that house. "Hello Uncle Vernon."

"It's good to see you back," he said, although in a strained voice. His eyes glanced nervously to the wand protruding not-so- subtly from Judder's belt. He scanned the nearby houses quickly, making sure that none of the neighbors were watching.

"Come in, blast it, before anyone sees that… that thing."

He ushered him in quickly, eyes flicking nervously from house to house. Judder bowed his head respectfully and returned to his car. Harry waved as he backed out of the driveway and disappeared down the road. Once he was sure that no one had seen them enter, he rounded on Harry, face glowing with anger.

"What were you thinking, you stupid boy! Walking around in plain sight with a maniac like that, really!"

"What do you mean walking around in plain sight? We walked from the car to the door, and he hid his wand."

"Don't use that word!" Vernon's face turned purple. "You were trying to get noticed, weren't you. He was not hiding his wand in the slightest."

Harry shook his head and gave an exasperated sigh. "Fine, you're right. We were trying to get noticed. In fact, there's a group of fifty wizards coming over for a party tonight. We'll be playing Exploding Snaps on the front lawn."

"What?" The color drained from Vernon's face. "You can't be… That preposterous! I won't allow it."

"Not that you could, but…" Harry shrugged and started up the stairs. "I'll be in my room writing a letter to my godfather. They should be arriving in about an hour or so."

He smiled to himself as Vernon's sputtered complaints reached his ears. Ever since he told Vernon and Petunia about Sirius life had become much more bearable at the Dursleys. That was not saying much, but he could now enjoy the occasional poke and sass.

"Just kidding." He called down before entering his room. A string of expletives followed him into his bedroom.

His room was in exactly the same setup as when he had left. His books were stacked neatly on his desk, Hedwig sat calmly in her cage, staring unblinkingly at him.

"Yes, Hedwig, I'm back." He put his fingers through the cage and she nipped affectionately at them. "I'm glad to be back."