"I will haunt your heart."
Someone once said those words to me,but I cannot remember who.
But I want to.
And for a moment,for a single and simple moment a image flashes in my mind. Of a stone grey grave beneath a raining sky and on that grave are the words:
"Lorina Charlottle Charlottle Liddell."
Then gone is the moment and gone is the memory.
Chapter one:Memory
Alice sometimes felt so lonely in wonderland,even when with many people. Alice was lonely only because her older sister Lorina was not there with her.
It must sound as if Alice had a sister complex,but without Lorina Alice was simply lonely. For the longest time in Alice's life Lorina had been the only warm spot in life,the only one who could ever put a smile on Alice's face and laughter in her mouth.
Lorina.
So to suddenly be without her older sister just put something hollow in Alice. An emptiness,a loneliness.
Just thinking of Lorina made Alice's heart clench tightly and she tightened her grip on the glass vial in her apron pocket. Soon as the bottle was filled Alice would be returning back home to Lorina. Home for Alice was wherever Lorina was.
"Alice,welcome home!How was your day?"
Lorina would say that with a smile every time Alice came home from school and Alice would smile back. So happy to see Lorina again.
"It was great. How was your day?"
"It was wonderful. But now it's even more wonderful because my Alice is home!"
"Ha,you're only saying that because I can help you with the chores."
Alice would say that even as a embarrassed blush reddened her cheeks,turning her face away as she grinned with pleasure.
"What?Alice,don't say such things!You know that's not true. I'm just happy that you're' home because you're Alice and I love you!"Lorina had been flustered.
Alice smiled at the memory and a tear slipped down her face,silently and she blinked it away until only her smile remained.
"Say,Alice,why are you smiling?"
The sound of Boris's voice jolted Alice out of her thoughts and she looked up to see Boris staring curiously down at her while holding an ice cream cone in one of his hands.
Alice smiled at him,a polite and friendly smile, "Oh,Boris,I didn't see you there!"
"I'm a cat,Alice,"Boris replied as he took a seat besides her on the amusement park bench,licking at his ice cream. "Us cats are sneaky and silent. You never notice us creeping up."
"Yeah,I know that. I had a cat back home, "Alice said,thinking of her cat Dinah.
Boris looked at her, "Huh?You did?"He looked bewildered.
Alice beamed, "Yup. Her name was Dinah. My older sister Lorina gave her to me as a present."
"Hmph,"Boris was frowning and stared at her unhappily.
After a few moments of nothing but Boris staring with that expression at her, Alice said with exasperation, "What is it?"
Boris shrugged and turned back to his ice cream and with slightly red cheeks ,mumbled, "Don't talk about your home in front of me,Alice. I don't want to hear it."
"What?"Alice was confused. "But why?"
"Because I don't ever want you to leave,Alice. And when you talk about your home,it just reminds me that one day you probably will,"he didn't look at her as he said this. He was being serious which was certainly rare.
"Oh."Alice didn't know what to say to that. But she tried. "Well it's nice to know that you care for me,Boris,but-"
"Care for you?"Boris spat angrily,his rage so sudden that it startled Alice. "I don't care for you,Alice. I-I,"suddenly he didn't seem able to continue his sentence and only repeated I over and over. Stammering.
Alice grew impatient, "You what?"
His face reddened even more and without any further warning he took Alice's chin and tilted it so she was facing him and before she could react he placed his lips on hers and began kissing her wildly.
For a moment Alice was frozen in shock. Boris was kissing her? That was totally unexpected and Alice wasn't sure on how to react.
So for a moment more she let Boris's mouth press against hers. His lips were rough and warm and tasted like milk and salt. His hands were calloused and selnder and hot,hot,hot as they cupped her face.
But so much can handle in a single moment and just as she was about to pull away from the kiss and ask him what the heck he was doing ,she heard a voice speak that froze her heart into chilled ice.
Blood's cool voice said, "Well,what can be going on here?"
Alice and Boris immediately broke apart and Alice looked up to see Blood staring coldly down at them.
Alice's face was hot red and she gasped out, "It wasn't what it looked like!"
"What did it look like?"Blood asked coolly as Boris shot her a angry glare.
"Why do you care what he thinks?"Boris asked angrily.
Alice opened her mouth to say something though she didn't know what,but suddenly she couldn't. She felt as if she was in a trance and suddenly this scene before her was all too familiar. Just too familiar.
Their lips were hot and salty sweet,urgent and desperate. Hands roamed freely and Alice felt alive,so alive with this feeling running through her,made even more electric by the knowledge that what was happening was forbidden.
"Don't leave me,"Alice whispered,her words feeling so red in the passionate air of the room.
"I love you."and Alice's heart thumped to hear such words whispered to her in the heated darkness of the bedroom.
Alice opened her mouth to reply,to repeat those same words back when the bedroom door suddenly opened,flooding the room with the blinding light of the hallway.
"What is going on?"Harry cried as Alice and Lorina sprang apart,their lips candy red and swollen,their clothing and hair rumpled and dishevelled.
Alice felt shock and dread and horror at having been found out(and by Harry!) and she was trying to think of a plausible excuse when Lorina stepped forward,her eyes wide and scared and said to Harry, "It wasn't what it looked like!."
Lorina's tone of voice...Alice didn't quite like it. As if Lorina was ashamed and guilty,as if she'd been caught being unfaithful. But why should she be ashamed before Harry? Granted that he had caught them kissing but...Something stirred in Alice's jealous,suspicious heart.
Harry asked in a cold voice, "What did it look like?"as Alice glared at Lorina, "Why do you care what he thinks?"
Lorina didn't reply to either of them,only stood there looking lost and helpless and so very confused and vulnerable.
"Wait,what!"Alice was breathing hard,her eyes wide,seeing nothing. "What is this?"A memory?A vision?Of kissing Lorina?And who was Harry?
Had she forgotten something?
"Alice,are you alright?!"the sound of Boris' concerned and frantic voice caused Alice to glance up,but it wasn't Boris sitting beside her on the bench.
It was Lorina.
Smiling sweetly at Alice,always so sweet and kind,like a bowl of sugar you could lick all day. So sweet,so sweet. she melted Alice's heart. All the time. Haunting her all the time,everywhere.
Alice could only stare at her in frozen shock.
"Lorina?"she whispered.
Lorina beamed even more widely, "Yes. It's me,Lorina. Your big sister. What would you like for dinner,Alice?"
Alice didn't answer her. Only said in a frozen whisper, "What are you doing here?"
Lorina frowned, "Alice,what a silly question!This is home,why wouldn't I be here?"
"This isn't home,"Alice began to say when she looked around and stopped. They weren't in the amusement park. They were sitting on the couch in her family's drawing room.
Alice jumped off the couch with bewilderment and turned frantically to Lorina, "What,how are we here?"Weren't they just in wonderland and wasn't Lorina-
Lorina cocked her head quizzically at Alice, "What do you mean,Alice? We were always here."
Lies,lies,Alice thought wildly as she stood up. Those are lies! They weren't always here. It had been a while since they'd been here. The last time they had sat together here had been when Alice was sixteen, but when Alice was sixteen Lorina had-"Died."
Alice whispered that and Lorina stiffened.
"Died. Dead. Lorina,you're dead aren't you?"Alice was crying now. "Are are you dead?Why?Why are you dead?"
"No."Lorina's voice was soft and she was now standing so close to Alice that Alice could feel Lorina's breath against her skin. Cold like a gust of winter wind. "No,Alice. That's not the right question. The right question is why can't you remember?Why do you always forget?"
Lorina was standing over now and so Alice had to look up so she could see Lorina's face and ask through her sobs, "What do you mean,Lorina?I'm remembering now."
"No,Alice,you're not."Lorina's eyes were closed and when she opened them again she and Alice were standing in pitch blackness,with only the two of them illuminated. "Just know this,Alice. Always will I haunt you."She whispered that in Alice's ear and still whispering:"Always,Alice. I will drive you mad until you remember." She drew back from Alice and looking Alice in the eye,said, "You will forget all else that has just happened now,but never forget thse words I'm about to say to you."And in a softer voice Lorina whispered, "I will never forgive you."
Alice's eyes went wide and then everything shattered like glass.