"Yuu, wouldn't you too, come to bid Missy good luck with us?" Gilbert questioned the attendant who currently stood looking from the window at the other side of the house.
"I'm sorry, I don't feel too well to do so."
He didn't turn around to face the head butler as he said it.
"Thank you everyone! It's a victory!" Patricia smiled at everyone of the house staff who had some to see her off for the date. Everyone couldn't help but agree the dress looked ravishing on her and there was no way to doubt their princess's abilities.
Her eyes looked around the people to find that one face but failed to do so. She looked down a bit disheartened, the rose was pinned to the left of her dress and she wanted to know Yuu's word on this.
But still, covering up her disappointment brilliantly she kept on her game face as she sat in the car and was off to her darned fiancée.
She shouldn't hate on Edward for this, after all, the innocent delusional guy wasn't at fault. But was it wrong to want what you want? Need what you needed?
Was something wrong with her? She already knew from the start, a taboo relationship like this could not exist. But she would have liked it better if she had to dress up for Yuu.
He wasn't Yuu in the slightest. Patricia sat having dinner with him, pursued lips all the time at his failed attempts to make a joke or a conversation. He didn't challenge her intellectually as Yuu did, he was way too naïve and quite frankly dumb. Though he was very kind with a merry face and she knew he would never hurt her but…
Yuu had really liked this dress on her.
She smiled politely as she ate, he led her to her car, again complimenting her beauty and she thanked him graciously before getting in. She waved and watched as he grew smaller and smaller before turning to the front her eyes in steely resolve, her expression unreadable.
It was late, 11 at night and hopefully no one would receive her except maybe Gilbert, but because he was so silent, except exchanged pleasantries, none would be said and she could just tip-toe to her room.
The night was silent and the car purred softly as it made way to her home. It was dark but no stars and it seemed it was going to rain as it was in her heart. Breaking, shattering, destroying into pieces, love was suicide.
Something you truly love, can't be acquired and if you successfully do so, you'll lose it too soon. In the end, always, you'll be hurt, you'll be drowned in sorrow and pain.
The truth stated so.
Patricia knew this, but today she felt it. Yet again.
"The naïve fool was me after all." She told herself as a tear slid down her cheek. To believe in her delusions. After she had reminded herself so many times to never work in accord with her emotions. All they did was hinder you. Or hurt you.
Was this sadist a masochist, really?
And so, she reached home and no one was there except Gilbert. A part of her heart ached, hoping for Yuu to appear as well. A foolish part of her heart.
But of course, he wasn't there.
She ran to her room, banged her door shut and then slid to the floor. More tears made their way after the first one had fell and she screamed and wailed at her fate, she threw things around, banged her fists against the wall as she cried and screamed some more.
How long was this going to happen? Why didn't she deserve happiness and acceptance?
Why didn't she deserve love?
She grabbed the dress she wore ripping it off and as soon as the fabric was off, she ripped it some more with her bare hands and there it lay in shreds in front of her. She threw her heels at the walls and they ,too delicate for such hard blows, shattered just the way her heart had.
And as soon as she had got tired of her destructive episode, she threw herself on the floor, lying on the mess she called her life. Her eyes opened momentarily, the rose earlier decorating the dress was in front of her, no longer adorned by the petals which lay around it.
"Yuu…" She enunciated as some more silent tears made their way down her eyes which were starting to hurt.
"This hasn't happened in years." She muttered before being enveloped in the sweet embrace of sleep she hoped would make everything better than it was.
Of Course it wasn't.
And outside her room, in the wing of the mansion only she occupied and was restricted to everyone else, Yuu stood with his back just against the door, his hair covering his eyes, his lips in a thin line.
He had been here for a while now. But only this kind of closure he could have with her, he knew.
"She's just behind the door." He said to particularly no one. He knew for some reason, she was immensely distressed and if it didn't tug at his heart strings, it was pulling at them like savages. He wanted to make his way in and hold her and comfort her but he couldn't.
He was selfish. He wanted to see her happy not because it was the right thing, but because he wanted her to always stay that way.
He certainly didn't approve of the dumb 'what's his name Baron' who was way too low for the girl he was engaged with.
He wanted her. Was it so wrong to love?
Maybe it was. Maybe this was a sin because it hurt like it was. His heart beat for her and only her. Only for her comfort, protection and care.
But he knew there would always be this door between them. He slid down, his back supported against the wood but his head bent forward.
He could let him sleep here, and just for tonight…..he could feel her warmth this way.
I'm sorry for such a depressing chapter, this is all the fault of the fact that I had once loved a douche, still do. I am not really satisfied with this chapter but i don't know how to make it better . I think they are supposed to feel this way since their love cannot happen. I don't think they realize it's all mutual though, but they soon will. Now if you excuse me, I have some business…in my room….with a box of tissues.
Review though! Tell me if this was worth posting!
-DDD