Hello my lovelies. As promised in the first chapter, I am going to warn you before any sensitive topic/issues are brought up. This chapter has NON CONSENTUAL SMUT. If you cannot tolerate non con material, I suggest you skip this story. Enough of my foreboding words, Once more onto the fan fiction, my friends!
xBelle
And I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight i'm gonna cut it out and then restart
'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn
Shake It Out- Florence and the Machine
Chapter Two: My Graceless Heart
I dream that I was standing in the Amity orchards. The rich smell of the earth, carried by the wind, gently caressed my bare shoulders. The trees in the orchard were laden with ripe peaches, one of which dangled on a branch just inches above my head. I knew I was not supposed to eat the fruit, but I couldn't stop myself from pursuing it.
I reached my arm out to grasp the fruit, only to find it further from my grasp than I had perceived. I stood on my tiptoes and reached again, my fingers barely skimming the bottom of the textured fruit. I felt like Tantalus, trying to subdue his hunger with a fruit that was always out of reach. I heard a twig snap behind me and whirled around to see who it was. Peter Hayes stood behind me, a playful smile on his angelic face.
"Let me help you," he said gently and reached his arm out to grasp the fruit and pluck it from the branch. Instead of placing it in my outstretched hand, he held it out of my reach playfully before taking a bite of the peach, its juices dripping from his lips and trailing down his arm. I reached out and took the peach, biting from the other end, it's sweetness exploding in my mouth. One moment I was holding the peach in my hand and the next hand was tangled into Peter's hair as he moved his soft mouth against mine. My eyes fluttered closed and I sighed in content. His hands encircled my small waist and pulled me closer to him.
"Trust me, Tris," he broke the kiss to murmur in my ear. He teased me, placing small kisses from my temple, down my jaw, and onto the sensitive parts of my neck. I moaned and explored his broad shoulders and back with my hands. He put his mouth back on mine and deepened the kiss as his hands explored my body, finding the hem of my dress and gently tugging it over my shoulders. His eyes gleamed like a child, gazing at his unwrapped birthday gift in wonder.
"Gods you are so beautiful," He whispered eyeing my naked form. I clung to his shirt as he reached down to the apex in my thighs, making me gasp in pleasure. He slowly slipped a finger beneath the waistband of my panties and explored my sensitive flesh. I gripped his shirt harder and stifled a moan when he touched my sensitive bundle of nerves. I pressed myself against his hand, giving him a better angle. He used this as a chance to slip a finger into my wet canal and ease it in and out.
"Lay down," He said guiding me toward the soft grass. He placed a chaste kiss on my lips and grinned at me mischievously. He kissed my throat, stomach and then nestled himself between my folds. Placing another finger in my drenched entrance, he gently sucked at my clit and moved his fingers in and out at an agonizingly slow pace.
"Cum," he commanded gently before vigorously latching his mouth to my hardened bundle of nerves and moving his fingers faster and in an upward motion stimulating a spot I didn't know existed. The stimulation I was receiving pushed me over the precipice and I collapsed like putty in his hands.
"Peter," I moaned before waking up, sweating. I sat up straight and gasped when I felt a pain in my neck. The place where Peter had injected a clear fluid throbbed. I kicked the covers off and swung my legs around the side of the bed. The lights flickered dimly, illuminating the room in a soft glow. I brought a finger to the injured area of my bullet wound to find it bandaged up and the throbbing pain ceased. The cuts on my legs had also healed leaving behind a few pink scars in their wake. Last time I was conscious, I was still raw and bleeding. How long was I out this time?
How long have I been trapped in this room? A few hours? A few days? I was now wearing different clothes and I shuttered to think of who changed me. Eric or Peter? I gulped when I recalled my dream of Peter in the Orchard. The drugs they have been injecting with must be messing with my brain. I wasn't attracted the Peter. I shuddered at the thought of reenacting what happened in my dream in real life.
I decide to test the door that led to the bathrooms. To my luck, the door opened. It would have been barbaric of them to deny a shower, even in my destitute situation. The dim florescent lights flickered, ever so often, dowsing the room in darkness for a fraction of a second in random intervals. Approaching the sink, I catch a glimpse of my appearance in the mirror. Despite leaving abnegation, looking into mirrors still stirred something deep inside of me— a fracture of my old upbringing trying to break the surface of my persona, one that was hardened by losing both parents.
The girl in the mirror didn't look like me, yet I knew she was. Her skin was pale like mine, her hair also a dull blonde, with wide eyes and a long nose. But those wide eyes are no longer filled with innocence and curiosity of the world around her, but filled with pain and loss. I had to fight the urge to punch the mirror exposing the girl I never wanted to be.
I peeled off my sweat-drenched clothes and unraveled the bandage around my bullet wound, revealing pink scar tissue. Stumbling over to the showers, I turned the nearest faucet on as hot as it would go and stood in the stream of water as it gradually warmed from lukewarm to scorching hot. I was numb to the burns that were forming on my back, secretly hoping that this shower would take up the limited hot water supply in the headquarters as a small act of defiance. Sighing, I stepped out of the shower after scrubbing the sweat out of my hair and body. I dried off using a towel that I had found by the sink and dressed into the same clothes I had worn earlier. I would have to scavenge the room for new clothes.
I returned to the room to find Peter at his perch, gun in hand. He looked healthy, his injuries had healed since the last time I had talked to him. He didn't look up when I passed him when I returned to my bunk. The mere sight of him reminded me of the dream I had, heat rushed to my face as I tried to get images of his strong shoulders, mouth, and fingers out of my head.
"I need new clothes," I stated plainly once I had calmed down enough to look at him.
"I'll keep that in mind," He mumbled. He seemed to be in a bad mood.
"What did you inject in me?" I asked, making my bed.
"Eric didn't tell me what it was. It seemed to heal your injuries. Guessing from how you were knocked out, I would guess some sort of sedative to loosen you up," He replied taking another vial from his pocket to inspect it. "You talked in your sleep. Said my name, have a bad dream?"
"No, It was a good dream, one where I pushed you down the chasm," I sat on my bed meeting his gaze.
"Perhaps I should knock you out again. It would make my job a lot easier," we glared at each other, daring the other to look away first. Petty things like this seem to be my only option of non-physical defiance.
"That wouldn't be necessary," Eric strolled in, his heavy booted footsteps echoing in the cavernous room. I stood up tensely, balling my fists, ready to attack him at a moment's notice.
"What do you want?" I fought the urge to take a step away as Eric eyed me up and down like prey.
"Information. Specifically information on your Divergent comrades." He was only a few meters away from me. "There's no need for us to fight. We can make this nice and simple. You tell me where Four and his group of Divergent rebels escaped to and I won't lay a finger on you. Seems like a fair trade." He cocked an eyebrow at me. I was still planning an escape but with Eric and Peter against me, I stood no chance.
"Can't help you. I have no Idea where they went. Even if I did, I still won't tell you anything," I responded inching my heel backwards.
"Then I will have to force it out of you," Eric lunged at me tackling me to the ground before I could outrun him. He jerked my arm back painfully and threw me onto my bunk. My arms were pinned down on either side of my head and my only defense against my attacker were my legs. I kicked and thrashed at the man on top of me, hoping to kick a sensitive spot and postpone the inevitable. The drug was still in my system, my moves were weak and sluggish.
"You aren't going to make this easy, are you," Eric grunted when I managed to land a hard kick just above the pelvis. I was kicking and thrashing like a wild animal, desperate to escape her cage. I could smell the scotch on his breath, as if he had been drinking moments before entering the room.
"Peter!" Eric shouted, his nostrils flaring and face red from exertion, "Bring the cords! Now!" I heard heavy footsteps running out of the room only to return a few moments later.
Had Peter been standing by this whole time? I felt sick at the thought of him seeing me in my most defenseless state. I turned my head towards the crescendo of footsteps. Peter reentered the room carrying several pieces of long black cords, his face pale, expressionless, and avoiding eye contact. Peter could easily attack Eric from this position, but the chances of Peter trying to help me were as slim as him being able to read my mind.
"Bind her wrists to the bed posts. I'm going to need both hands for this." Eric seethed as a kick landed near his groin, but not close enough to injure the sensitive area.
"I wanted to have fun with this," Eric grunted, slamming my shoulders further into the mattress as Peter wrapped the cords tightly around my wrists, securing them to the bunk's metal frame. With both hands free, Eric slid one rough hand under my tank top and dug his nails into the flesh above my stomach, leaving the other to pin down my thighs. I struggled against my restraints, the tight cords chafing my wrists painfully. I groaned in frustration and glared at the man above me, counting each piercing on his face that I would relish yanking from his flesh. Peter was now at the foot of the bed and reached out to grab one of my ankles.
"Leave," Eric said, not breaking eye contact. Peter released his hold on my ankle, leaving them both free and left the room at a hurried pace. I hated him right now, but not nearly as much as I hated Eric. Eric pinned both of my legs down by his knees, bruising them. His other hand contained a knife —my knife. The one I had carried in my pocket during the attack on Candor. I could see the glint of the blade from the corner of my eye, but kept my constant eye contact. Eric brought the knife to my throat, gently pressing the tip to the top-most bird tattoo my collarbone, maintaining the pressure and slowly dragging the knife across each bird down my chest until it hit the fabric of the tank top, above my heart. Eric's eye gleamed maliciously and he then sliced open my tank top, exposing my bare chest
"Stop!" I screamed, breaking my silence. Eric broke into a broad smile.
"So this is how I can make you talk." My tank top now hung like a vest, goose bumps spreading across my chest. Eric looed down from my eyes to stare at my chest.
"I won't tell you anything." I said through gritted teeth. Eric placed the knife in his pocket and explored my chest with his rough hands. His fingertips gently grazed my nipples causing a wave of heat to go through my body, similar to the heat a felt in my dream with Peter. I cursed under my breath tried to wiggle away from his touch.
"They are bigger than I thought they would be. Four is a lucky guy," Eric smirked massaging my left nipple between his calloused thumb and forefinger. My body tensed at his touch. How dare he speak of Tobias? I felt shallow waves of pleasure run through me, unwillingly at every touch.
This is all wrong. I felt betrayed by my body's reaction to Eric's touch. I could feel a lump in my throat, making it hard to swallow as heat rose to my face. I felt angry, violated, and distressed by Eric's actions but I refused to cry in front of him.
"Is there anything else you want to say, Tris?" Eric painfully pinched my nipple between his knuckles. I wanted this to stop. I wanted this to be over. But what I wanted no longer mattered. I have to keep everyone safe.
"Do whatever you want, you sadistic pig. I won't say anything," I spat back.
"I was expecting, you to say that." Eric nodded, "but you won't be silent for long." Eric roughly grabbed my neck and squeezed cutting off my air, "I am going to make you scream, stiff." His nails dug into the soft skin of my stomach as he made his way down to the button of my shorts. I hoped he wouldn't release his grip on my neck, maybe I could pass out before experiencing what may happen next. Unfortunately his grip loosed on my neck as he took out the knife once again and began cutting the fabric of my black shorts. Eric furrowed his eyebrows as he cut the fabric, concentrating on the task at hand. With a final tug, my shorts were cut from my body leaving only my white cotton underwear intact.
"I figured this was the best way to get information out of you. I saw you fear landscape back when you were an initiate. You were afraid of being intimate with Four," He smirked. "I bed your two never made it past second base, making you a virgin." I swallowed back the tears that threatened to spill. He slipped the knife under the white cotton to make a nick in the fabric and ripped the rest.
"I'm not afraid of that anymore." I stated, staring at the cement ceiling.
"You're not alone. A lot of initiate girls have this fear. At least the virgin initiates do. That's why mankind has been using this method of interrogation since the beginning of time." I ignored his explanation and concentrated on clenching my legs shut. My thoughts were interrupted again by Eric's weight shifting over my legs as he attempted to pry them open.
"This can all end, Tris," Eric said digging his fingernails into the flesh of my thighs. He yanked my body closer to him causing the restraints on my wrists to dig into my flesh. I whimpered softly in pain and frustration as he managed to pry my unwilling legs open. He stared at my sex hungrily. "Tell me what you know, and I will stop right here." My eyes widened when I heard him remove his belt and unzip his pants. Would he really stop if I were to tell him everything? Oh course not. It didn't take an Erudite to see that.
"Look." He grabbed my chin and forced me to look at the conjuncture of my thighs where my cotton underwear was torn. In his other hand, just inches away from my opening, Eric was stroking his hardened member. He was getting off to this. I tried averting my eyes but I could still see the movement of Eric's hands in my peripheral vision.
"As much as I'd enjoy fucking you, I'm a man of my word. If you spill everything now, I will stop. This is your last chance." Lies. I could feel his cock nestle into my tender folds. He released his hold on my chin and spit on his free hand, running it over his length to lubricate it. I felt a pressure as the head of his member hit my maidenhead. Gods, I didn't want this. I had to be strong. I am Dauntless, I can handle the pain. I am Erudite, I can think my way out of this later. I am Abnegation, I would rather sacrifice myself then risk the lives of the ones I love.
"Go to Hell!" I yelled through clenched teeth.
"Gods, I hoped you would say that," Eric flashed a malicious smile before forcefully thrusting his full length past my barrier. I screamed at the intrusion and gripped the cords binding my wrists. I couldn't help it now. I let a single tear burst passed the dam of I'd created out of stubbornness.
"Gods, Stiff. You. Are. So. Fucking. Tight." He thrust into my aching core with each word, not giving me a chance to rest in between.
"I imaged fucking you, when I first saw you. You were so perfect. Fearless," He released his bruising grip on my thighs and positioned his elbows on both sides of my head so he could see my face as he continued his relentless thrusting. He kissed my collar bone and sucked at the sensitive flesh behind my ear, once again reminding me of my intimate dream with Peter. I shut my eyes and tried to calm down, like when I was in the fear simulator. Maybe this isn't real. Maybe if I calmed down or faced my fears this whole ordeal will dissolve into an oblivion. The pain I had initially felt was almost bearable now, as if I was becoming immune to the pain by the second.
"Open your eyes, Stiff," Eric commanded into my ear, followed by a nip on my lobe. "I want you to know exactly who is fucking your pretty little brains out." I met his gaze and glared, forcing all of my hatred into it.
"That's a good girl. You're a fast learner," he mocked. Now tell me, what I need to know." His thrusts were becoming shallow and desperate. He was close to finishing, I could feel his cock pulse against my inner walls.
"No!" I shouted back. His hands wrapped around my neck once more and squeezed.
"Tell me, or I will cum inside of you!" Eric threatened releasing his hold on my neck to allow me to speak again. The last thing I wanted was to be pregnant. His thrusts increased speed, fucking me into the bed. I was running out of time. I could reveal where I thought Tobias had taken the Divergent in to hiding, most likely in the faction safe houses and possibly avoid the risk of pregnancy. That is, if he kept his word, but Eric was a snake. He wouldn't honor anything.
"No." I squeezed the walls around his cock hoping it would make him finish faster. His eyes widened at my action and an animalistic groan of pleasure erupted from his throat.
"Have it your way." I could feel spurts of warm liquid fill my canal, and his thrusting finally coming to a halt. We both panted, Eric's sweaty body heaped over mine, his breath tickling my neck.
"You are going to regret not telling me anything," he threatened. "I am going to fuck you raw until you tell me." He pulled his cock out in one fluid motion. It was slick with his cum and my blood. I felt like I was going to be sick. He hastily buttoned up his pants, leaving his belt undone, before leaving.
It was over, at least for now. I closed my eyes once again and tried to take deep breaths. The lump in my throat grew to an uncomfortably large size and I finally broke into sobs. I knew I had to be strong, but I allowed myself this one moment of weakness. I had been strong, I reminded myself. I didn't spill any secrets. I succumbed to fatigue once I was sure I had shed the last tear.
I heard footsteps and immediately tensed, before I realized they didn't belong to Eric. They were soft and cautious not heavy and demanding. Peter. I relaxed and pretended to be asleep as he approached me. The last thing I wanted was to argue with Peter after my moment of weakness.
I could feel his eyes on me as he walked around the side of the bed. I jumped slightly when I felt him lay a blanket over my naked body. If he saw me stir, he didn't comment on it, instead moving to the head of the bed to release me from my restraints and gently place my arms at my sides. My wrists ached from the cords holding them, and I could tell they had been rubbed raw.
A warm cloth dabbed at my face and moved on to the sensitive flesh behind my ears were Eric had violently bruised with his mouth. I flinched slightly as the warm water stung the raw skin but relaxed.
"Tris?" I heard Peter whisper from his place beside me. I opened my eyes to look at the man in front of me. I was expecting to see a hardened expression cemented on his face but instead saw the face of a boy who had witnessed something terrible. He reached his hand out to touch my arm and I flinched away. His arm stayed suspended in midair while he contemplated whether or not to try and comfort me. He dropped his hand back to his side but not before I witnessed it trembling.
"I brought you warm water and a cloth to clean up. I will try to look for some more clothes for you." His worried features once again turned stoic as he left the bowl of water and washcloth on the floor next to me and exited the room.
The pain at my entranced has subsided, but evidence of his assault remained and dripped down my thighs. Disgusted, I grabbed the cloth and scrubbed the sore area raw. Pure hate bubbled throughout my body, making my blood boil in my veins. I was no longer the hurt girl I was moments ago, but a woman scorned. I wrapped the white sheet Peter had brought and waited for him to return.
When I heard his footsteps coming toward the room I ran and hid behind the door. Peter stepped into the room carrying a small stack of black clothes. He hesitated when he spotted my empty bunk and reached for his pocket but it was too late, I had already pounced on him from behind and tackled him to the floor. The syringe he had pulled from his pocket rolled across the floor.
"Are you next in line to rape me?" I yelled struggling against him. I dropped the bed sheet that was covering my body so I had both hands free to pin him down and search for a weapon. Peter grabbed me by my arm and rolled me over, pinning my hands on either side of my head. I squirmed under him, trying to force him off, but he was too strong for me.
"Get off me Peter!" I once again feared an assault as I lay trapped under Peter.
"Calm down, Tris," He said narrowly avoiding my elbow colliding with his jaw. He shifted his weight to pin me down completely making any movement impossible. I screamed in frustration. I was not about to let this happen to me again.
"I'll kill you. I swear it. I'll kill you!" My screaming faded into sobs. I turned my face to the side in an attempt to hide the tears.
"Look at me," I refused to turn my head at first, but eventually gave in, "I'm not here to hurt you, Tris," His hypnotizing blue eyes poured into mine. I stopped struggling against him, panting from exertion. His attitude reminded me of my dream. He had said "Trust me". There was nothing else I could do. After a minute of intense staring and awkward silence, Peter rolled off me, jumped to his feet, and offered me his hand. I struggled to push myself up, my legs trembling but refused Peter's outstretched hand. I stood up and tried to maintain my modesty by using my hands to cover up. Peter stared for a second and then flushed a bright red, averting his eyes and handing me the stack of clothes he had been carrying before I attacked him.
"Thanks," I muttered. I examined the items Peter brought. A plain halter dress, a sweatshirt, a pair of underwear, and over sized socks all in dauntless black. I put on the strange ensemble while Peter turned his back. Everything was a too big on my small frame, but I was thankful to be in clothes again.
"Sorry, I grabbed the first things I saw. Everyone abandoned this place after the simulation attack," Peter explained. "Some of us Dauntless who sided with Erudite sleep here when we aren't needed.
"I prefer to call you Dauntless traitors," I responded. I still didn't trust Peter, but I ached for human company, other than Eric, of course.
"Funny you should say that, we call you guys at Candor the same thing," Peter responded with his arms crossed, "Also cowards or Zeke's favorite word, Pansycakes." I ignored his retort.
I looked toward my bunk that was still in disarray. Sweat and blood-stained sheets with black cord remained at the head of the bed. I couldn't stomach returning to sleeping on that bunk, instead I climbed the ladder to the bunk above it, Christina's bed. I felt safer being on higher ground.
"I'm sorry," I heard Peter say, his sad eyes looking up at me.
"I don't want your sympathy," I spat back. "You knew he would do this, didn't you?" I questioned.
"Listen," Peter said urgently, looking around the room as if someone might be eavesdropping. "He wants information on the divergent so he can feed it to Jeanine who isn't happy with him at this moment. He knows you know something and Four has disappeared along with every known divergent." I was trying to process this new information. Tobias was safe for now.
"Why should I trust you, Peter? You tried to kill me once and seem pretty chummy with Eric," I narrowed my eyes.
"All I can tell you is that you're going to need a friend. You want Eric's 'interrogations' to stop and I want Eric dead as much as you do," I didn't want to believe Peter. I wanted to continue hating him as I did before, but I had a feeling I could trust him. "If we are to get rid of Eric, we need to play along."
"Play along?" I sputtered. I was expecting a well thought out plan, but this idea was pure idiocy. "What do you mean by 'play along'? Play along by pretending to like what is happening?"
"No. I meant feed him false information. I will help you come up with it because I monitor the control room here. I see what goes on in almost every building. I've recently set up a camera to spy on Jeanine." I had to give it to him, this was impressive.
"But, I still have to have sex with him?" I already knew the answer, yet part of me hoped playing along didn't involve that.
"We both know that Eric will assault you regardless. He is trying to gain access to the Candor truth serum to make you talk, but has been unsuccessful so far. The sooner we put this plan in motion, the sooner I can get you out of here," Peter was pleading with me. "He will investigate any leads you give him by himself. There are dauntless here who are spying for your side. I will get them to help me stage an attack. Once Eric is gone, I will sneak you out."
"Why would you want to help me?" I asked incredulously.
"Let's just say I owe you a favor," He responded with a smirk.
I agreed to the plan and for the first time in a long time, I felt hopeful.