Two in two days, and another almost done! Here's a longer chapter. Beta'd by the lovely Issy.

The special Sunday 2 o'clock tour (for those lazy weekenders who can't get up in time for an 11 o'clock equivalent) is made up of a larger number of American tourists. They don't want to see room after after room of 'all the same kind of thing' as he overhears one of them say, while gazing straight through Van Goph's Starry Night.

Normally he would reserve the statue room and it's adjoining brothers as a sort of 'the tour's over now but head right this way for some statue appreciation'. But today, he think's it will probably be more interesting for this particular audience if he takes them through there now.

He makes a grand entrance, like he does with every room during these tours. He's the leader and he's in his element, so, why not put on some show? The tourists seem to like it anyway and they leave him more tips.

(He has done experiments in the past actually, when he had first started out. At first he'd overloaded his group with too much information - and the tips had been pathetic. But then he tried adding smaller, juicier facts about the artists and the cultural connotations of the different works. He gets the most tips when he flirts a little with the ladies - regardless of age. The men, sadly, tend to be less receptive to this technique.)

He gestures broadly at the ornate room, drawing the group's attention to the gothic ceiling design and marble flooring. At least he tries to. He quickly realises that they're instantly distracted by the muscled statues, for which he doesn't blame them - they are meant to be the focus of the room.

Ludwig's gaze is always there, on him, at the edge of his vision. The group takes up most of his attention though.

"Were all these artists gay or something? I mean, it's pretty weird to spent all this time looking at naked, male models in order to carve these and stuff right?" One of them asks.

He feels the smile slip off his face, and hastily plasters a new, less enthusiastic one back on. Americans.

"That's an interesting question, madam. But most of the artists who created these masterpieces were not gay. Our issues with nudity are actually a modern creation. If we go back a few centuries we find that most of Europe had no issue with it. I'm unsure if you have heard that the ancient Greeks used to compete in sports completely naked?" He waggles his eyebrows a little, earning a few chuckles. Hopefully they won't notice that this tour seems a little strained, but well, this particular tour guide isn't going to be all that cheerful dealing with slightly homophobic questions.

"I think people should revive that Greek tradition. Maybe more people would play sports if they could watch fit guys run around naked…" says a loud woman to her friend. She probably hadn't meant for that to be overheard, but her voice carries very clearly. Feli thinks that she's the sort of person who doesn't quite understand what is meant by the term 'whisper'.

A lanky, dishevelled young man in glasses almost trips over his own feet as Feli leads them on to talk about a copy of Rodin's 'The Gates of Hell'. He steadies him, and the man apologises. Feli thinks he detects a softer, Canadian accent, but doesn't get to ask because one of the louder American men rushes over to sling his arm supportively around the man's shoulders. (Feli's betting he's a little possessive, and embarrassed to not have been the one to steady the man. Judging by the Canadian's blush, there is no objection to such displays of affection or possessiveness. It's very cute, actually.)

Feli smiles quietly, and starts telling the tourists about the statue.

"This is a personal favourite of mine, The Gates of Hell by Rodin. He worked on this on and off for 37 years! Can you imagine that dedication, ladies and gentlemen? It was meant to be the design for the entrance to the Decorative Arts Museum which, sadly, was never built. But if it had, think of entering through two great doors that looked just like these, only about three times larger! It's inspired by Dante's Inferno, and incorporates over fifteen figures that Rodin later turned into stand alone sculptures. On the top here we see The Three Shades and in the centre there I'm sure you recognise The Thinker and down here you have The Kiss, several of which we have copies of over there..." As he continues, he reminds himself to be wary of the seven second attention span rule. Several of these people are nodding off as he thinks this. These people just don't know how to appreciate the skill before them.

"And that's about it, ladies and gentlemen! For now, have a look around, and I'll be right here to answer any questions you may have, then we'll move on!" He's more relieved than they are as they disperse into the large room. His eye is drawn to the cute Canadian and his American as they wander off. They really are very cute. Which reminds him...

Ludwig is still staring at him. So he stares back. And grins a large smile because finally. To his surprise, the guard gets up from his chair and starts to head over towards him. His intestines dance out a little samba. (He can't believe his uncle had told him he would make an awful drummer, were he to attempt it. Clearly he has got a beat within him.)

The guard approaches. He walks stiffly - which doesn't surprise Feli in the slightest. But he walks past him and stops so he's about a metre next to him, and acts like he's completely absorbed by the piece before them: Lacoon and his sons. Actually, he says nothing for a good few minutes, which does nothing for the samba in his intestines but does a lot for the newly formed tango in his left kidney.

The silence leaves him wondering if Ludwig is legitimately absorbed in the statue before him. (Which he has to admit, makes the man even more appealing to him.) So he does what he's programmed himself to do.

"This piece was extremely controversial when it was first excavated in 1506. The art community and their rich patrons were unused to seeing such agony written in stone - that is, any agony other than Christ's suffering - but that was a justified sort of agony. Michelangelo was actually greatly inspired by this work; he went on to sculpt his two 'slaves'. Some claim he was secretly the creator of this actual piece, but why on earth would he have created such a masterpiece only to bury it so that people could dig it up?

'It's incredible though…look at how the twisting of their bodies looks like you can see them moving, isn't that wonderful? And what a time the Renaissance was for an artist. Michelangelo himself was considered the best there was along with Da Vinci. Oh, to be an Italian artist in those days…He changed the whole of Western Art forever, and was an architect, sculptor, engineer and painter. He was smart too. I think he said once that 'A man paints with his brains and not his hands' or something along those lines…"

He sighs in appreciation, and then blushes a little because he realised he's probably revealed a little too much of his art nerd to the German.

To his surprise, the guard actually looks a little impressed (though it's a little hard to tell, because all his emotions are constricted by the permanent mask the frown lines create on his face.)

Very quietly, Ludwig begins to speak.

"You know, for all the hours I've spent in this room, I don't know a single thing about the objects within it." He turns to look at the art historian, with what could just possibly be considered a hint of a smile in his eyes.

"Oh, Ludwig! I'm going to tell you everything. Come on! Where should we start?" He grabbed the german by the cuff and would have run off to the next statue but for the realisation that there are still several Americans milling about like lost children (and for all their art appreciation skills, he does wonder if they did actually take a wrong turn to this museum.)

So he pauses with the German's sleeve still in his grasp like he's unsure whether to step forwards or backwards.

"Hey, it's alright, um, Feliciano? - It was Feliciano, right? - You can come back later." Ludwig shakes off his grasp gently.

"You mean you'll wait for me?"

"Yes, I will. My shift ends at six anyway."

"Yay! Oh, thank you Ludwig! You just made my day far more fun, I'll see you later then, bye!" And he rushes off to collect the dawdle of tourists littered between the marble figures with a new enthusiasm. The grin on his face is now completely authentic.

So yes, art history is one of my hobbies and I go to a lot of museums. The art nerdiness will not end with this chapter, so be warned. Thank you for reading! Reviews are love...