Awakening

I fought to stay conscious. I couldn't let myself slip away, to lose the scene before my eyes. The darkness held too much pain; it ravaged my soul and ate away at my skin.

"Edward" I gasped as I twisted in agony.

"Yes" he said, his breath dancing across my skin

"Don't let me go" I reached out my hand desperately for him to take. His cold touch seared into my heated skin and sent a jolt of electricity through my body.

Tears stung my face and I was weeping before I knew it. I was slipping, and I could feel it. I held tightly to his hand and he squeezed it, letting me know that he would be there.

As I traveled down the endless tunnel of shadow and screams; I tried my best to think of him.

"I'm here Bella" his words echoed in my head as my lungs begged for air. It was like someone was strangling me and I couldn't escape.

My eyes flew open and I reached my free hand up to my neck, willing it to let in oxygen.

"What is it Bella?" he asked, alarmed. I shook my head violently, my whole body begging for air. My eyes were filled with terror and he must have seen it.

"Carlisle" he choked, standing up, but never once freeing my hand. I heard the rush of footsteps, but couldn't make out what was being said. My lungs burned and my head swam, my heart was slowing. I sobbed silently, the action causing my chest to heave.

"Be strong" he growled, "you are strong Bella, you can do this"

I hadn't heard her come in, but Alice stood beside us, eyes on me but talking to Edward.

"Charlie is coming, he seems to think you've kidnapped her and brought her here" She laughed then, but it was dull, half hearted.

Edward sat for a moment, "I'll take her upstairs, distract him"

In one swift movement, I was in his arms and being carried to his room. He sat with me at the edge of his bed, eyes far away.

There were several sharp knocks at the door before Alice answered it.

"Charlie?" she asked in a perfect bewildered tone. I shut out the rest. I didn't want to hear his grief.

"He thinks I've hurt you" Edward spoke softly "but he's wrong, it's so much worse than that" his lips touched my forehead and his nose traced a path down to mine. "I love you" he said looking into my anguished eyes, "how could I do this?"

I wanted to reach out, to tell him everything was alright, but my mind wouldn't focus. I stared at him with worried eyes, afraid that he would lapse into a bought of self pity.

The darkness was starting to seep in through the windows; my third day of transformation was drawing to a close.

The moonlight turned his skin translucent and his gaze instantly became more haunting.

"Why did I do this to you?" his eyes quivered, still locked on mine, but I couldn't look anymore. I was growing stronger, the heat of the fire was dying away and I could feel a new kind of power taking over, pulsing through my veins. And the beginnings of the thirst that I knew would be a constant presence in my new life.

The screaming had subsided, replaced by fear and a strange curiosity. I reached up my hand to stroke his defeated face, the motion stronger now that I could concentrate. My fingers danced across his clenched jaw and found their way down to his lips, copying the lines of them.

"Bella" he breathed into the palm of my hand "you shouldn't –"

My sharp intake of breath stopped him mid sentence. It was like coming up for a breath after drowning. The cold air stung my lungs with a new intensity and I shot up, more alert than I could ever remember being. My eyes could see every line every shape and the whistling of the wind outside the window was suddenly deafening to my too sensitive ears. I brought my hands up, pressing them hard against my skin.

"Bella," he said prying my hands away and placing them back on his face. I shrieked with the sudden intensity of everything around me. His words crashed against my eardrums "its okay Bella"

I shoved him away from me and stopped dead as I saw that his body moved under my touch. I could smell everything, even Charlie who had left so long ago. My eyes darted back and forth, trying to understand what was going on.

This was too loud, too violent, I wasn't ready for this.

"Make it stop!" I cried, digging my nails into my scalp and crumpling into the corner, "I don't want this anymore!' this stung him and I could tell, but I was beyond caring.

"Bella, it'll get better, you'll learn to control this" he got up cautiously from the bed and made his way over to me with slow, measured steps.

"No, I can't do this" I rasped

"Yes you can Bella"

"Liar!" I snapped and he took a step back, a heartbroken look in his eyes.

And with more speed than I could have ever imagined myself having, I darted out the door and into the night