The trees sped by in a haze of shapeless color as I ran. It was terrifying and I wanted to stop, but was afraid what would happen. Finally, as I passed a house, I came to a halt. I could smell them, people, but not in any sort of way I could ever remember; the blood pumping through their veins screamed to me as if it were spilled freely, but where it would normally have turned my stomach, I slumped inward with the force of the ache it caused in my chest.

It pulsed, the phantom of a heart that had once beat freely, knocking me to my knees. My lip curled back of its own volition and the pulsing became a tear, ripping across my pale skin. In the sharp moonlight I could see it, oddly detailed in my new sight.

I lurched forward, being pulled by some unseen force. I didn't seem to have any control over my body. I was inching closer, my mind begging for the movement to stop, but my thirst seemed to have other plans.

It was more than a desire, it was a necessity. I didn't care about the lives that would be lost, ruined, about the families that would lose a person they loved, the only notion in my head was the need to spill their blood, to drink them dry.

The image of their screams of horror, terror in their faces as I bore down upon them, cold wilted bodies held in my own, completely drained, flooded my mind.

And then his hands were on my shoulder, restraining.

"You can't do this Bella, I won't let you"

In that moment, the strong desire to lurch at him overcame me, but I forced it back with great difficulty. He seized my hand and dragged me back; using more might than I suspected he ever had before.

"Bella" he prompted me when we were safely locked away in his house

"I'm scared," I interrupted, my voice softer than a whisper "I didn't just want them, I needed them, I could see it so clearly, how I would do it" I shuddered. He flinched infinitesimally at my words before answering calmly,

"It will get easier; you won't have to try so hard"

"But what if I –"my words trailed off

"I won't let that happen" he said grabbing my face in his hands "you will hurt no one, except those poor penguins" he added and I smiled.

"Promise?"

"Of course" he brushed the hair lightly from my eyes, slight disappointment in his own that he tried to hide, but I caught it.

"What is it?" I asked cautiously, he sighed

"I miss the color of your eyes" he answered finally

"Oh" I said, trying to be casual, but a pang struck the cavity where my heart used to beat.

"I'll get used to it" he amended quickly "I love you Bella, you are just as beautiful as the day I first saw you" that sidetracked me

"I'm more beautiful now though, right?" he shook his head in exasperation

"In an obvious way, yes Bella, you look like us"

I tried to smile, but it was strained, the fact that he wasn't completely pleased with my appearance stung me. The ache in my chest was dulled now that there was no obvious prey, but not gone, it made my head spin, clogging my thoughts and making it hard to concentrate. I breathed into Edward's shoulder to try to gain some sense of reality, but it only filled me with sudden terror, his scent, which had been so strong and present while I was human, was gone.

It was a stupid thing to be upset over I knew, but it still produced a tearless sob.

"What is it Bella?" he pulled me away so that he could see me clearly, his eyes burned with concern.

It was too much, I wanted to run, to escape this waking nightmare, but I couldn't risk anyone's life. Would I even recognize myself anymore? My world was spinning, changing even as I sat, but as powerful as I now was, I could do nothing to stop it.

Edward rubbed his thumb against my chilled skin, and though I couldn't feel the ice of his touch against my blush anymore, the idea of the angel touching me, in such close proximity, sent a shiver down my spine.

"Bella" he started again, pulling me out of my reverie, "what's wrong?"

I shook my head, trying to calm myself before I answered,

"Just another thing to get used to"

Confusion filled his eyes, but he didn't say anything, instead he touched his lips to mine. They moved in a reassuring way; if everything changed and he stayed it would be alright.

So there we sat, equals now, cold lip against cold lip, ignoring the turning of the world.