A/N: Sooo sorry for taking so long but here's the next chapter. I'm not really sure if I like it or not but whatever. I hope you guys like it more than I do anyways for those of you still reading this enjoy or you know cry your eyes out. :)

I don't know how long I cling to Dave but I know it's been awhile. I just don't want to let go-I can't let go because I'm scared that if I do he'll be gone. I'm scared that I might still be dreaming or that Gamzee's lurking somewhere nearby and I don't know what to do so I stay attached to Dave.

"Hey Kitkat shh it's okay."

I want it to be and I want to believe that somehow it'll turn out okay but I just don't.

I still cry against him because the images from my dream keep flashing through my mind and even though I know Gamzee isn't here right now I'm scared. I'm scared because he could show up at any moment and I'm scared because if this is real and Dave is actually here right now then I've put yet another person in danger.

Everything is my fault.

It's always my fault.

Why did I run? Because you're an idiot.

Why am I here? Because you can't defend yourself.

Why does everyone around me have to die? Because you do stupid things like this.

Why do I feel like I'm a walking, talking threat? You are

Why is it that I can't just stay put? You're disobedient.

Why do I continue to disobey him? You like being hurt.

Why did I think coming here was a good idea? You didn't think.

Why can't Gamzee just leave me be? You're his.

I hate him. I hate him so much and I wish he would just die. I want him to die-no I-I want my best friend back.

My subconscious screams these things at me and I know everything that's said is true. I'm useless and pathetic and I'll never change.

"Why did you change?" I sob out. I know he hates me now, I just don't know why. I wish I knew what happened. I want to know why he snapped after the first time he hit me. I just want him back even if I know there's pretty much a zero percent chance of that happening.

"Why does he hate me so much?" Where did I go wrong?

I only stayed with him for so long because I thought that he would go back to the way he used to be except he hasn't and now it's probably too late to save him.

I only bring trouble where I go. I'm a total fuck up. I can never do anything right. Why did I come here? I only brought them into this mess that I'm in and that's not what I want. It's not what I want at all.

I push myself away from Dave and end up falling to the floor. I quickly sit up and back away into a corner, pulling my knees to my chest rocking back and forth.

Dave tries to come over but I only go farther away.

"Stay away from me just-just stay away" I say and I can't help the tears that fall. He looks so hurt and I want to hug him but I need him to understand that it's bad for him to be near me.

"I'm s-sorry. It's my fault! Everyone's going to die because of me…."

"Karkat what are you talking about?"

"Gamzee" I whisper his name because I hate it and I hate him for everything he's done to me and

the people I care(d) about.

"What is he talking about?" I see Dirk take him into one of their rooms and I take the chance to look around the room.

I can't help the loud sob that comes out because they're all here. Everyone I don't want to get hurt is here and if I stay they're going to end up hurt or dead.

It's the reason I left but they just had to follow me. They couldn't just stay like I told them to. I don't need their protection, they're the ones that need protecting.

"Why did you come?" I scream at them. They should've just listened.

"Because we're worried about you"

"You shouldn't have come!"

"Kar it's okay"

"No it's not! If you stay near me you'll-you'll die…I don't want anyone to die because of something

that I'm to blame for. I don't want to lose anyone else like I lost John. I won't be able to survive the guilt and I'll end up doing something wrong. I don't want to make the same mistakes again! Why didn't you just stay? Why couldn't you listen to me..." I bury my face in my legs again and sob because it's the only thing I'm good at.

All of a sudden a pair of arms is wrapped around me and I open my eyes to see Dave.

As much as I want to push him away and tell him to leave me alone and that he shouldn't near me I can't bring myself to. I just can't do that because I don't how much longer I have and I want to spend every second that I can with him and the rest of them until I leave to get Gamzee away from them.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I should-"

"It's not your fault. I mean who knew right?" I say tears still falling and just seeing the pain in his

eyes makes me crumble. I wrap my arms around him and sob against his shoulder. I finally get to see him again and everything is just crap.

I wish I would've come to him sooner before Gamzee got so violent maybe then I wouldn't have put everyone in danger.

Maybe then I could've actually enjoyed my life instead of living with regret and being broken for the rest of my life whatever was left of it anyway.

There's all these things I wish I could've done and as Dave holds me tight whispering that it'll be okay, I realize I can't change anything even if I wanted to because as much as I want to tell myself I can fix this, that everything would be okay the truth is that not every story has a happily ever after.