A/N: I know last chapter was kind of sucky so I hope this makes up for it.
It's funny how once you take that final step you think everything will go as planned and you'll be no more but for me everything always has to go wrong.
I'm Karkat the guy that attracts way too much attention, the downfall of everyone, the sole reason my best friend went nuts.
I'm Karkat Vantas the screw up and when I finally believed I'd be free of all the hurt and pain something 'good'finally had to happen and I was saved.
For once in my life I wish that it would've been the opposite. All my life I just wanted something good to happen and now when it has I wish that it hadn't.
I open my eyes blinking rapidly to clear the blurriness from my eyes. As everything starts to become clear I take notice of the blonde head resting on my arm.
It takes me a moment to realize that it's Dave and that I'm sitting in a hospital bed.
I take notice of all the machines around me and the IV in my arm wondering how long I've been here and how I'm here.
When I go to press the button to call the nurse a sharp pain shoots up my arm and I groan in pain.
Dave's head immediately snaps up at the sound and my breath gets caught in my throat when I meet a familiar pair of red eyes filled with shock, worry, pain, sadness and relief.
He smiles at me.
"You're awake" he breathes out sitting up. He stares at me a moment probably expecting me to answer him. Instead I just nod my head.
Before I know what's happening he's launched himself at me and his face is buried in my shoulder hot tears soaking through the hospital gown and onto my shoulder.
"Dave?" I say hesitantly. He never cries-it's not in his personality. He's supposed to be strong and get through everything without shedding a tear.
My heart breaks a little knowing I'm the one that made him like this.
He pulls away and looks me in the eyes kissing my forehead before he pulls back and retreats to the chair beside my bed.
"I thought I lost you" he pauses and takes a deep breath, "I-there was just so much blood and you were pale, I thought you were dead...I really thought you were dead" he mumbles fiddling with his hands in his lap, "I rushed you here as fast as I could and once they took you into the ICU I just...lost it. I broke down but eventually my sadness turned to anger. Anger at myself for not stopping you when you walked out of my house. I really don't know why I didn't and I still don't really know. I was also angry with Gamzee for pushing you to go so far but then I was angry at myself again because I was sure I was too late to save you and I blame myself for all of this. I blame myself because I should've fought harder for you to stay all those years ago." He takes a deep breath and continues.
"I thought you were dead for sure because you lost a lot of blood and you just seemed so lifeless. I felt like it had been days before they finally told me you were going to be okay and even though they said that I still couldn't believe it because you weren't awake. Now I'm just glad that you're alive because I don't know what would've happened if I was even a second later in getting you here or even in arriving at your place."
I stare at him silently for awhile trying to figure out what to say but no words form. I honesty don't know what to say to him.
I wish he hadn't found me though because I wanted to die it would've made things easier but then I'm actually glad that I didn't die because I didn't really get to say goodbye.
"I-how long have I been here?" It's the first thing that comes out of my mouth because I want to know how many days I've lost.
"Only a week and a half. They had to give you a blood transfer because you lost so much and Karkat I-they told me about the cuts and the words all over your body" he says gulping. "Your hand too. They patched it up and said it should heal on it's own. You had so many cuts and bruises all over your body that they wanted to know if you were being abused" My eyes widened at that and I all but shouted.
"What did you tell them?" I hissed. He visibly flinched looking shocked at my outburst.
"That they'd have to ask you yourself but that I was sure you were being abused" he said not taking his eyes off of me.
"I don't want him to go to jail or worse. I know that I should after all he's done but…" I trailed off and looked away from Dave's piercing eyes.
"Karkat you have to tell them. He needs to be taken care of and be off the streets where he can hurt someone else"
"I know!" I cried out my eyes filling with unshed tears. "Can you just let me do it in my own time?" I said gripping the sheets tightly.
"I only want what's best for you Kitkat. I hope you know that. You can do it how you want to just make sure you do do it because if you don't I'm going to." He says and I nod my head as he presses the button to call the nurse.
She walks through the door seconds later and her eyes widen in surprise as she makes her way to me.
"You're awake" she says in awe.
"Yeah" I mumble awkwardly as she starts checking to make sure everything is okay.
"When can I leave?" I ask as she finishes her thorough work.
She looks up at me in surprise and I can see the pity in her eyes as she assesses me. After a few moments I get uncomfortable and squirm turning away from her eyes favoring the wall behind her.
"I'm sorry sweetie but we're going to have to keep you here for a few more days just to make sure you're healed enough to function on your own. Right now you seem to be okay but we also want to keep just to make sure you don't end up back in here for anything like this again." She says and I groan. "I know it's not something you wish to do but we want to take precautions and because you not only tried to commit suicide but the fact that you're very clearly being abused-"I squeezed my eyes shut not wanting to think about it.
"-it causes many red flags and we just want to make sure you're safe." she says and goes to walk out the door before she turns and looks at me.
"I'm going to send in a case worker okay?" I don't want once but because I know there's now way I can lie and say that I'm not being abused I just nod my head. She smiles sympathetically at me before she says she hopes I feel better soon and that she'll be back to check up on me in an hour or so.
As soon as she leaves I turn to Dave who has slipped his shades back on at some point while I was talking.
"Where are the others?" I ask my voice low. He stares at me contemplating whether or not he should tell me no doubt.
"They're not here" he says turning his head away. I look at him confused. I would've thought that they would all come seeing as how they were so determined to keep me with them and 'safe' as they put it.
He sighs. "I made them stay behind. I had this feeling that you were in danger and when I got here well I was right. They did put up a fight about it but in the end I won obviously" he says with a smirk and I can't help but smile a little at his cockiness.
"Do they know?" I ask and he immediately shakes his head no.
"Why not?"
"Because I didn't want them to worry or worse come down here and end up doing something stupid because of the state you're in. I wanted to tell them but I couldn't because I knew it would hurt them so for now them not knowing is the best thing."
"Okay" I say then as an afterthought "Thanks by the way"
"For what?"
"For preventing my wish for death. For saving me and for being here for me even if its been a long time since we last spoke. Thanks for being you" he smiles and I can't help but to smile back even as my eyes flutter close and I let sleep take over me once more.
I'm glad he saved me in a way because even if I'm not dead I'm just glad that I'm no longer wishing for death.
All I'm wishing for is life.
A/N: So yeah I changed how this was going to go. Originally I really did plan for him to commit suicide and that was pretty much going to be it except Gamzee would turn himself in because he couldn't live with the guilt of knowing Karkat killed himself because of him. Then there would be a funeral and blah blah blah but I decided I couldn't live with myself if I killed him off...thus this is what happened instead. Don't worry this isn't the end and there will be a few more chapters and that's it.
Hope you enjoyed please leave a review to let me know what you think! :)
-Sour