A/N: I'm alive omg! Haven't had much time to write lately but here's this. Hope you enjoy! :D

The only thoughts passing through my mind when I wake up and see-what I assume to be the caseworker-are how long Gamzee will be put away for if I tell them that I've been abused by him for so long.

I hate the thought of this happening to him because of me but I also know that it's for my own good and even if I choose not to say anything, Dave still will.

It's better to hear it from the victim than anyone else and even though for some stupid reason I still care about him, I know this is what I have to do.

"Karkat Vantas, My name is Stephen Barlow and I'll be working on this Domestic violence case against whom I assume is your boyfriend. Is this correct?" I nod my head.

"Alright then, let's get started. I'm going to start by asking you his name and I'm going to be recording this for further proof." He says pulling out a mini tape recorder.

"State your name and age please"

"Karkat Vantas, Eighteen"

"Thank you, now firstly what is the name of your boyfriend and how long have you known him?"

I take a deep breath trying to gather up the courage to actually say it. Dave notices my hesitation and takes my hand in his, giving me a small but reassuring smile. I squeeze his hand lightly before turning back to Mr. Barlow.

"Gamzee Makara. We've known each other since we were babies. Our moms were best-friends and pretty much got pregnant around the same time so of course Gamzee and I were bound to be close." I blinked away the few tears that threatened to escape at the thought of the happier times.

"When did you two engage in a relationship together?"

"When we turned fifteen we started dating and everything was amazing"

"Were you in love with him?"

"Yes"

"Okay. Now when did the abuse start?"

"A few months before I turned sixteen."

"Do you know why he changed? Why he started hurting you?"

"No, I'm not really sure about that but when he first hit me it wasn't on purpose. After that though he got violent and he'd do it every time I did something he disliked."

"Did it ever go past anything other than hitting during the age of fifteen?"

"No but once I turned sixteen Gamzee started to get worse and a few times my arm would be broken or I'd end up with a black eye."

"Is there anything else besides these things that happened during that age?" I knew I should tell him about John. I knew that yet I didn't know how I would say it. I couldn't even think about it without tears falling freely from my eyes.

I wouldn't ever forget him and I feel terrible because his parents never got the closure they needed and John didn't deserve to die that way.

I had to do this, for him because I would never forgive myself if I kept it inside.

I was sobbing now and Dave was rubbing my back soothingly.

"It's okay. Just take your time" He whispered and I took a shaky breath before turning back to the man.

"I know these things are hard and if you need to take a moment to recollect yourself, we can take a break." I shook my head.

"No I'm fine. I can do it" I got my breathing under control and my thoughts together before I answered the question.

"There was this boy, He was sweet, kind, caring, funny and just, he made me forget my problems. He was amazing and so when he asked about the abuse I told him the truth, even though I never really planned on telling anyone. I knew I could trust him and of course he didn't disappoint me. He kept it to himself and I guess after that we got closer and then he kissed me and everything suddenly just felt so right again. I felt free and it was beautiful. I had fallen in love again but with someone who actually cared for me as well."

"In short I was ready to drop everything, to turn Gamzee in and move on with my life. I was going to leave him for John but-" I choked as more tears fell.

"But that night when I went home Gamzee just hurt me to no end and then the next day there he was and he had him. He had John and he brought us into the basement and tied us up. He was angry, angrier than ever before and it was all because of me, because I fell for someone else. I still don't know how he found out so quick but he hurt J-John and even though he was in pain he still managed to tell me he loved me."

"The reason why, well that's simple it was because he knew he was going to die. Gamzee he killed him. He killed one of the only people that made me happy. He killed my light named John Egbert" I sobbed out clutching Dave tightly.

Stephen's eyes widened and he gasped audibly. "He killed someone? That's what you're telling me right?" He asked frantically.

"Yes" I choked out.

He quickly wrote something down on his notepad and took out his phone before standing.

"I'll be back in a moment. I need to make an urgent phone call"

I nodded my head and he quickly departed from the room.

"You're doing good KitKat" Dave said lifting my chin to look at him. He wiped away my tears with the pad of his thumb. "It's going to be okay. Do you believe me?" I nodded my head and he pulled me into a hug, my head on his chest.

"What do you think is going to happen?" I asked quietly, a few moments later.

"They'll probably charge him with Domestic Violence, and first degree murder among other things." he says seriously and I hold back more tears threatening to fall down my face.

"Karkat they're only doing what's right. He hurt you for years and even went as far as killing someone. He's finally getting what he deserves and it may not be what you want to hear but it's the truth. Gamzee is most likely going to get life for everything he's done. I know you care for him and I'm sorry that it has to be this way but I'm happy because you no longer have to suffer at his hands."

I hold onto him tightly as his words register in my mind and I know he's right about everything. Gamzee was wrong for what he did and he needs to be put somewhere where he can no longer hurt anyone else.

I open my mouth to respond to him but the door is opened and standing there are three police officers along with Stephen.

All of a sudden I start to panic as the reality of the situation really hits me.

They're going to take him away and it's going to be my fault, not anyone else's. I'll always be the one responsible and for some reason I have a hard time thinking that it's right.

I've been with him for so long that I'm still scared he'll find a way to retaliate, that he'll find a way to hurt me even in prison.

I'm scared.

I'm scared.

I'm scared.

I'm terrified.

I don't know what to do.

Suddenly it's hard to breathe. My breath is coming out in intervals, raspy pants and I'm gasping for breath.

Oh god I can't breathe.

Dave is looking at me in worry and I can tell he's panicking as well. I'm gripping him tight enough to probably leave marks but I'm scared because it feels like I'm dying.

I can't hear what anyone is saying and my vision is getting blurry.

"-kat. Karkat! Calm down just breathe. It's okay, it's okay. I'm here. I have you" Dave whispers in a soothing voice as he hugs me, rubbing slow circles in my back.

"You're fine. It's going to be okay" he says and my breathing starts to slow down as I calm myself and focus on only his voice.

I squeeze my eyes shut and level my breathing before opening them and looking at Dave.

"Thanks" I say with a smile and he just smiles slightly mouthing 'Of course'

I look around the room and notice that everyone's still here along with a few nurses and doctors.

"Are you okay Mr. Vantas? Do we need to let you rest before we go any further? I wouldn't want something like this to happen again." I shake my head at the officer who asked and he nods slightly in recognition.

"No I'm fine" I answer hastily and Dave looks at me wearily.

"Are you sure? You seem really stressed and upset. Maybe it's better if you take a break…" Dave said and I smiled at him.

It felt nice to have someone worry about my well-being after so long of no one bothering to bat an eyelash at any of the injuries I've sustained.

After thinking it over and changing my mind over and over over the course of the day I finally decided this is the right thing to do.

This is the only way for me to get over my fear for him. For me to finally live a peaceful life, a life where I can have friends and people who actually care for me.

This is where I finally decide that enough is enough and I need to stop being so irrational about everything when this is clearly the only option available to me. It benefits me and anyone else that has ever been hurt by Gamzee.

The most important reason for this though is for the one I lost. The reason I'm doing this is so that he can finally have peace and so that I can believe I did something right by his death.

This is for our lost love.

For the one person who tried to help in my time in need.

This is all for you John Egbert.

Because I love you and I'm sorry your life was cut short because of my mistakes.

I'm doing this only because I need to be reassured that Gamzee pays for what he did and by sending him to prison John's family can finally rest in peace knowing that their son's killer isn't running free.

I'm helping and for that I'm happy. That's why I tell them everything they want to know.

I tell them everything leading up to this point and in the end it pays off because by the end of the night I get the call telling me they've arrested him.

To say those words made me feel good would be an understatement because hearing them meant the world to me.

I was finally free and so was John, the amazing blue-eyed boy who never deserved what he got.

You'll always have a special place in my heart John.

A/N: Tis not over yet but very close. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. :)