Disclaimer: Vampire Knight does not, has not, or will not ever belong to me. I only ask that nobody takes my characters or ideas.
Not my Time
A Vampire Knight Fanfiction
Chapter Sixteen: Strange Revelations
"To the Lily of the Waters/for whom all time is a canvas/Waiting to be filled," I heard myself recite. Carefully studying the tombstone, I realized that besides the epitaph, only an engraved water-lily was present on the tombstone. "Mama, why doesn't this tombstone have a name and date like the others?"
My mother glanced over her shoulder at me, then laughed, "Lily, you silly girl, there isn't a tombstone there! Come over here and help me plant these flowers. Do you know why I decided to plant roses here?"
Skipping over to where my mother was kneeling, I replied, "Because they're pretty?"
Smiling, my mother answered, "No… Because roses are strong, and wild, but also delicate, and beautiful. I always loved the wild roses… I loved how they could grow from the tiniest rose bush into vast tangles of thorns and flowers." Pausing to think a moment, my mother appeared to be looking at some distant object, but I could tell by the haze in her eyes that she wasn't seeing any of her immediate surroundings. As if snapping back to reality, she continued, "I'm planting the roses here because I was personally instructed by the Goddess Sadb to place them here."
In a voice somewhere between disbelieving and awe, I asked, "You were instructed by a goddess?"
As my mother began digging with her trowel, she nodded, seriously. "Yes, Goddess Sadb is the goddess of spring, flowers, re-birth, and growth, so she always knows best when and where to plant flowers in preparation for spring."
Curiously, I asked, "How does Goddess Sadb know?"
Almost immediately, my mother began to recite a story to me. "Long ago, Goddess Sadb was not a goddess; she was the daughter of a poor farmer and a seamstress who had many children and no money. From a young age, Goddess Sadb adored anything beautiful, especially flowers. Whenever her parents sent her into town to purchase necessities, she always managed to find enough money left-over to secretly purchase flower seeds.
"Because she knew her parents would believe flower seeds were a waste of money, instead of planting the seeds, Goddess Sadb stored them in her room. However, one afternoon while returning from the market, a few of the flower seeds fell through a hole in her dress' pocket, and were trod into the ground.
"Nobody noticed anything strange occurring until a few days afterward, and the first one to notice was Goddess Sadb's father. While out tending his fields, he'd noticed that several thorny roots were entangling themselves around his crops, so he cut away the branches, and went home.
"The next day, the father went out to tend his fields once more, and when he reached the place he'd seen the thorny roots, he was horrified to find them triple the size as the previous day. Believing the roots to be some stubborn weed, the father once again cut them back, and returned home.
"It wasn't until the third day that the father finally discovered what had occurred. On that day, he went out to tend his fields, and he found that the thorny roots had increased to ten times the size as the first day, and that they had tiny green flower buds clustered on the branches. When he saw that the weed was in fact a flower, he knew immediately that his daughter must have something to do with its presence.
"Disgruntled, the father once again cut the thorny roots away from his crops, and then returned home. When he arrived home, he approached his daughter, and demanded, 'Your love of flowers has cost this family their crops for this year! For the past three days, I have attempted to destroy the thorny roots which have been taking over my fields, but with no success. I've told you before that this family has no place for flowers, so if you will not cease with this obsession, you will have to leave.'
"So, Goddess Sadb left. For a few long, difficult years, she travelled purposelessly, and only stopped occasionally to plant one of the seeds she had acquired with her stolen funds.
"One day, Goddess Sadb came across an elderly widow who was cultivating a small flower garden. Although she had never approached townsfolk before, her love of flowers overpowered her, and she spoke to the woman.
"'I've never seen a garden so lovely,' Goddess Sadb complimented the woman. 'You're roses are especially beautiful; they're so delicate, yet strong.'
"If this woman had been an ordinary woman, this compliment might not have been significant, but this woman had been ostracized by her townsfolk, and Goddess Sadb's compliment was the first kind comment the woman had received in years. Not quite knowing what to say, the woman felt obliged to invite Goddess Sadb into her home.
"For weeks, Goddess Sadb remained in the woman's home, while the woman taught Goddess Sadb all the flower-lore she knew. Not only was Goddess Sadb instructed on the proper handling and care of the flowers, she also learned about their healing properties. After remaining in the woman's home for so long, Goddess Sadb was uncertain whether or not she ever wanted to leave.
"One day while tending the flower garden with her mentor, Goddess Sadb received a visit from a messenger of a king who resided some distance away. This messenger came bearing news that the king sought the woman who had left a trail of flowers in her wake. For some time, the king had attempted to track her down, and had intentions of marrying her.
"Knowing that she was the one the king sought, Goddess Sadb humbly answered that she had left the trail of flowers, but that she would be unable to marry since her mentor needed her to remain.
"Only a few days hence, the king himself arrived at the widow's home. …"
I was roused from my dreams by Ichijou shouting, "Wake up! Tonight my grandfather will be here!"
Strangely, I felt horribly disappointed that I could not finish listening to my mother's story. Ichijou would choose to shout right when my mother finally arrived at my favorite part. Goddess Sadb continually refused the king's request to marry her, and only when she was certain that her mentor would be given a place of honor in the courts, did she finally accept.
I would have liked to think about the tale more, but I became distracted watching Nasrin sleep soundly through Ichijou's frantic cries, and Aidou's angry demands to get Ichijou out of his bedroom. However, since I had no intention of speaking with Ichijou, I settled back under my bed covers.
While I had been napping in the infirmary, Ichijou had informed both Kaname and the headmaster of my recklessness when we'd gone into town. While neither the headmaster nor Kaname had been pleased with Ichijou, they were much more disappointed in my actions, and just as I'd feared, I had been forbidden from going into town ever again.
After being reprimanded, I had avoided Ichijou during non-school hours. Most days, I would disappear after classes were finished, and go to the art room, so that I could work on my painting in peace.
Of course, I had finished the painting for the assignment, but I had purchased enough oils for a few paintings, and since I had been in a somewhat depressed mood for the past week, I had immediately started planning a second painting that I could use in a competition some time in the future.
In case the other Night Class students began to catch-on to where I was hiding out after classes, I also began making occasional appearances in the library, at the horse stable, and out by the fountain in the forest.
During one of my nights in the library, I had discovered an email from my brother informing me that it was still not possible for me to come home, and he wasn't certain whether or not Dad would be ready to see me by Midwinter. While the response hurt, I was comforted by my brother's overly-dramatic condolences upon falling prey to our aunt's use of trickery.
Scott had also emailed me, and since then we'd been emailing back-and-forth regularly. Scott told me that even if my brother didn't want me to come home to the farm for the winter holiday, I could always stay with his parents.
Although I hadn't replied to Scott's suggestion yet, I felt reassured by Scott's hospitality.
I was roused from my thoughts by a knock at my bedroom door. Desperately attempting to ignore it, I curled back up in my covers, and quickly feigned sleep.
"Lily-chan, I need to speak with you for a moment," Ichijou called through the door. When I didn't open the door, he persisted, "Please, open the door. This is important."
Stubbornly, I continued to feign sleep, but Ichijou didn't give up. When I didn't open the door for him, he entered my room on his own.
As he came nearer to my bed, I closed my eyes, and made my breathing slower. Maybe Ichijou would leave if he believed I was actually still asleep.
Unfortunately, I was mistaken. "Sorry, Lily-chan, but you have to wake up," Ichijou told me, softly. He gently shook me when I didn't respond.
I forced myself to open my eyes slowly to give the impression that I had actually been asleep. While sitting up, I watched Ichijou carefully. I was a little uncomfortable with him entering my room when I'd been sleeping.
Ichijou was sitting on the edge of my bed, and was watching me with an expression that appeared tranquil, but I could tell that the tranquility was a mask for the fear he was feeling.
"What's wrong?" I asked, rubbing my eyes, tiredly.
"I've been concerned about you," he told me. "You've been acting distant recently. Is something bothering you?"
Not wanting to discuss my own untypical behavior, I replied, "You're concerned about something else. Your grandfather?"
Ichijou looked surprised a moment, then seemed to remember that he'd announced it so loudly the entire dorm had heard. "Yeah… I really wanted to warn you about him… Lily-chan, classes are most likely going to be called off tonight," he told me. "Most of the students will insist on greeting my grandfather because he is the head of the Senate…"
"You don't want me to be near your grandfather," I finished for Ichijou when he seemed to become stuck in his thoughts.
Ichijou nodded. "He's dangerous to you, Lily-chan. I don't want you hurt," he informed me.
I nodded. "I'll go spend some time in the horse stable," I told him.
After hearing my response, Ichijou returned to questioning me about the past week. Without him explicitly asking, I understood that he wanted to know why I had been avoiding him. His concern for me caused me to recall the reason I had always remained close to him. Ichijou was so genuine; his reasoning for informing the headmaster and Kaname of my irrationality while away from the Academy must have been tribute to his honest reservations about my safety while in town.
Since I was too ashamed to tell Ichijou that I had been upset by the role he'd played in my confinement to Cross Academy, I answered, "I've just wanted to be alone. I needed to focus on schoolwork, and then I started a painting. Painting with oils is time-consuming, so I've been in the art-room almost every night."
Ichijou looked relieved. "I was concerned that you were upset with me," he admitted. "Because your attitude changed after you were reprimanded by Kaname and the headmaster."
My expression must have betrayed the truth because Ichijou immediately exclaimed, "I knew it! I thought I was the one you were avoiding!" Settling down slightly, Ichijou defended his actions, "Lily-chan, I only went to the headmaster and Kaname because I don't want you to get hurt again. My intention wasn't to punish you. If you hadn't acted irrationally both times you were permitted to visit the town, I wouldn't have taken any action!"
"Yuuki has issues each time she goes into town, and she can't even redeem herself by killing the vampire. If anyone has to be banned from going into town, it should be Yuuki," I countered. For the past week, this thought had been rolling around my mind, and I was somewhat satisfied to be given the opportunity to use it as a defense.
Calmly, Ichijou replied, "Yuuki does not intend to go after level E vampires. As soon as one crosses your path, you run-off without thought."
Despite my desire to deny going after the level E, I kept my mouth shut. I had decided that mentioning the God of the Underworld would only persuade Kaname and the headmaster that I could not be trusted to go into town. Because the God of the Underworld was invisible to everybody else they would most likely only believe I was mentally deranged or lying.
"It isn't a punishment," Ichijou repeated. "I'm sorry that I've upset you, Lily-chan, that wasn't my intention."
As Ichijou stood, I didn't answer him. Deep down, I knew that Ichijou hadn't meant to do anything cruel, and that I had been wrong to act distantly toward him. When he started to walk away, I quickly grabbed the sleeve of his shirt.
After Ichijou turned back to me, I quickly apologized, "Please, forgive me for blaming you."
Before answering, Ichijou appeared a bit confused. "Of course, I forgive you, Lily-chan," he replied. "But your actions are understandable; I wasn't offended."
I nodded. "I appreciate having your forgiveness all the same," I told him.
He smiled at me, then patted me on the head lightly before leaving the room. Briefly, I considered attempting to go back to sleep, but now that I was fully awake, the sunlight was too bright.
Instead, I climbed out of bed, put my robe on, and sat at my desk. While I completed a few of the homework assignments that had accumulated, my thoughts drifted to Ichijou's grandfather. He must be villainess if Ichijou thought it necessary to warn me to stay away from him.
For a while, I wondered how different Ichijou could be from his grandfather. They were related, and it seemed that Ichijou had been raised by his grandfather alone, so how different could they be?
When the sun finally began setting, I got dressed, and went to the horse stable. Although I had considered eavesdropping from outside the foyer, I ultimately decided that Ichijou would not have warned me to keep my distance from his grandfather unless I was in serious danger.
At least, my intention had been to remain in the horse stable while Ichijou's grandfather visited with his grandson. However, White Lily seemed to have other ideas. As soon as I opened the barn-door, the mare galloped outside at top speed.
"Lily!" I cried, watching her run off.
Quickly, I ran into the barn, saddled a second horse, grabbed a rope, and galloped after White Lily. While using one hand to loosely clutch the reins, I used my free hand to hold the rope until I had the opportunity to use it.
When I finally caught up with White Lily, I maneuvered in front of White Lily, and forced her to skid to a halt briefly. Halting my body caused my horse to immediately fall into a slower gait, and when White Lily tried to go around us, I quickly moved to block her. Using the rope to block White Lily from maneuvering sideways again, I urged my horse into White Lily's space, and forced White Lily to change direction.
This would be easier if I had Scott to help… Even Nick could be useful right now… I thought, urging my horse sideways to block White Lily's attempt to turn around once more; still not admitting defeat, White Lily immediately tried to dodge us by going around the opposite way. We remained at this crossroads for a few minutes before White Lily realized her only choice was to continue back toward the stable.
As we got closer to the stable, White Lily began to balk, and I urged her forward with the rope, as well as a few clicks. Finally, I managed to herd White Lily back into her stall, and I dismounted to quickly slam the lock back into its place.
"More trouble than you're worth, Lily…" I mumbled to White Lily; although, I had somewhat enjoyed the challenge of rounding up the wayward mare.
Putting away the horse I used was much simpler than putting away White Lily. The horse I had chosen seemed to have the same mannerisms as Kidd. To reward him for his part in bringing back White Lily, I dropped a few alfalfa cubes into his feed bucket.
After putting away the tack I had used, I decided that if I went into the Moon Dorm through the back, I would go unnoticed by Ichijou and his grandfather. Now that I was covered in dust, all I wanted to do was take a shower.
My plan went according to plan up until I realized that Ichijou and his grandfather were having a conversation in the foyer. While this development was inconvenient, it could be easily solved by locating the back staircase. But then, something else through a wrench in my plan.
"There's a human here," Ichijou's grandfather stated. Despite his unemotional tone, I felt a shiver of fear go down my spine. Even through the door, I could sense that his aura was just as dark as Kaname's – if not darker.
When I heard the sound of footsteps coming closer to the door separating us, I quickly (but quietly) opened a closet door, and disappeared from sight. Before I could close the door, I heard the door off the foyer being opened, and I quickly determined that I would have to risk leaving the door partway open.
"H'm… I thought for certain I'd sensed a human present…" Ichijou's grandfather thought aloud; his voice sounding slightly more perplexed than before.
Ichijou spoke up in an upbeat tone, "Well, that's probably because the headmaster recently enrolled one of the Day Class students into the Night Class."
Darkly, Ichijou's grandfather asked, "You've been attending classes with a human?" I heard him take a few steps back toward the foyer.
"A very intelligent human," Ichijou informed his grandfather, brazenly.
Ichijou's grandfather released an amused snort. "There is no such thing as an intelligent human," he reminded his grandson.
I took a deep breath to prevent myself from becoming angered by Ichijou's grandfather. If I became upset, I could potentially give away my location. Since Ichijou's grandfather was so intolerant, I definitely did not want to have to explain myself to him. Certainly, he would not hesitate to harm me if he caught me eavesdropping on his and Ichijou's conversation.
"I assure you, Grandfather, Lily is very capable. She's from the Waters family, the owners of Apple Blossom Acres," Ichijou replied. While I admired Ichijou's loyalty to me, I did not want him to go out of his way to defend me in front of his grandfather.
"Lily Waters?" Ichijou's grandfather changed his tone slightly; he now seemed interested. "She's from an animal charmer family. Stay close to her; she could become useful."
He says 'useful' the same way Kaname does… I realized.
"Lily isn't a game-piece, Grandfather; I won't let you sacrifice her," Ichijou insisted.
His grandfather snorted again, then said, "She's under Kaname-sama's protection right now, anyway… Takuma…"
They seemed to be moving back into the foyer. Ichijou's voice was much softer as he prompted, "Yes, Grandfather…"
While Ichijou's grandfather continued speaking, I nervously began pushing the closet door open, and I attempted to see whether it was safe to continue looking for a staircase on the back hall.
"Kaname-sama seems to trust you very much…" Ichijou's grandfather was saying. I paused, listening curiously. "Serve him well, and keep an eye on him. This is why I'm letting you attend this academy."
Ichijou's here to spy on Kaname? I thought they were close…
I began to peer around the closet door, but when I noticed that I could see Ichijou and his grandfather in the foyer, I quickly ducked back inside the closet. Luckily both of them had been facing away from me, so I knew I hadn't been discovered yet.
"Grandfather, you don't understand," Ichijou informed his grandfather bravely. "I will not do anything that goes against my friend's best interests."
I could feel the dorm become colder, and I knew that Ichijou's grandfather must not be pleased by his grandson's loyalty to Kaname.
Darkly, Ichijou's grandfather retorted, "You're the one who doesn't understand. A friendship based on a fictitious peace in the small world of this academy…"
He was interrupted by a loud declaration, "Cross Academy is truly peaceful!"
Although I could hear Ichijou's horrified cry of "Yuuki-chan!" I could hardly contain my excitement. Ichijou could no longer deny that Yuuki set herself up for trouble now. At least I'd had enough sense to hide in a closet until I was certain Ichijou's grandfather had finished speaking with Ichijou.
Yuuki continued more hesitantly, "S-So the headmaster said he wants you to donate a lot this time, too." After a brief pause, Yuuki asked, "You are Ichijou's grandfather, right?"
Oh, Yuuki… Always speaking in the wrong order, and acting rashly…
Once more, I attempted to leave the closet, but I noticed that Yuuki would be able to see me clearly through the doorway once I moved off down the hallway.
Concealing myself in the closet once more, I listened to Ichijou's grandfather challenging the headmaster's belief that Cross Academy was peaceful, and I winced as he reminded Yuuki of Yagari Toga's presence on the Academy's grounds.
I was relieved when Zero arrived, and calmly told Ichijou's grandfather, "The headmaster would like to explain that matter, as well. I was told by the headmaster to bring you to him immediately."
Since I trusted Zero to be capable of handling Ichijou's grandfather, I released a relieved sigh. Sometimes Zero's dislike for vampires had its usages. Yuuki would naturally trail along after him, and I could beat a hasty retreat to my dorm-room while Ichijou's back was still turned.
However, that was not what occurred. Just as I was about to dash out of the closet, Ichijou's voice stopped me.
"Wait, Yuuki-chan!"
While I deliberated whether to make a run for the stairs or not, I managed to catch part of their conversation.
"…Kaname doesn't tell me the important things…" Ichijou was saying.
I moved slowly out of the closet. Yuuki didn't seem to be paying attention to what was going on behind-the-scenes, so I quietly moved into the back hall. As I disappeared down the corridor, I heaved a sigh of pure relief.
If I'd known I would only end up trapped in a closet, I would have just stayed in the horse stable…
It took me a while longer to locate a staircase, and by the time I finally managed to locate it, I was cursing the Moon Dorm's elaborate floor-plan.
It's more confusing than navigating around all the different houses on my horse farm… And we have 2987 acres of land!
When I finally arrived back at my dorm-room about a half-hour later, I was almost willing to crawl into bed without washing the dirt off myself.
Noticing that my door was open, I slowed my pace slightly. As I considered who might have entered my room, I determined that it must have been Nasrin. Sometimes she remembered to lock our door, but she would forget to close it. (Other days she would forget to lock it, but remember to close it.)
However, as I entered my dorm-room, I noticed something very out of place. Ichijou was sitting on Nasrin's and my couch, and reading one of the books I'd checked out from the library. He glanced up when I walked in.
"Lily-chan, come sit," Ichijou ordered, patting the couch.
"I just got back from rounding up White Lily," I informed him, a bit aggravated. "All I want to do is shower and go to bed."
Ichijou shook his head before informing me seriously, "We both know you were hiding in that closet." He patted the couch once more.
Sullenly, I sat on the couch. I was certain Ichijou was about to scold me for continuing to demonstrate my irrationality. Of course, eavesdropping on his grandfather had been an accident. I'd only come into the dorm in order to go to my dorm-room.
"I didn't mean to overhear your conversation," I admitted, looking at the table which was currently littered in mythology books.
"You overheard everything?" Ichijou asked.
I nodded. I glanced up at Ichijou who seemed to be thinking carefully about something. Finally, he shook his head.
"I can't see any way around it, or at least, not a safer way. For your own protection, Lily-chan, I'm going to erase your memory of that conversation," Ichijou informed me, apologetically.
Quickly, I stood, as Ichijou reached for me. "That's not necessary!" I protested. "And it isn't for my protection; it's for your convenience!"
Suddenly Ichijou looked a bit ashamed of himself. "You're right, of course," he admitted. He looked away from me. "I just didn't want you asking me questions. Especially when I'm not entirely certain what's going on myself."
Deciding that it was safe to sit back down on the couch, I leaned against the arm. "I wasn't going to ask any questions," I told him. "I was going to leave it alone."
Ichijou didn't seem to believe me. "Really? You weren't going to ask why my grandfather wanted me to keep you close?" he asked, challengingly.
I shook my head. "Whatever he wants with me, I'm certain that's the reason Kaname fairied me away from my horse-farm," I replied, shrugging. "I'm really not concerned, to be honest."
"You ought to be at least a little concerned," Ichijou told me. "My grandfather is very powerful, and is simultaneously feared and respected in both the vampire and human worlds." He paused, then felt the need to explain, "He runs the Ichijou Group."
I rolled my eyes. "You didn't have to tell me that! How many 'Ichijou' families are there?" I asked rhetorically. What does he think? I was raised in a shoe?
Ichijou looked both surprised and embarrassed. "Sorry… It's just that… you've never asked…"
"Why would I ask when I know? And beyond that, it's never been relevant to any of our conversations," I replied. "Besides, you never asked about my farm."
Ichijou blushed slightly. "Yeah… I completely overlooked that detail… And I know more about you than most of the others here!" he admitted.
I reached for one of the mythology books on the table, and turned to the section on the God of the Underworld. Although I trusted Ichijou, I was still uncomfortable with him knowing about my past. To be honest, I had always somewhat enjoyed my secrets. They had made me feel as if I were unreadable, or as if I had a secret life. Having secrets had given me the impression that I was strong, and cool under pressure.
"I wish you'd talk to me," Ichijou told me, to my surprise. His tone was unusually serious; even more serious than when he'd been concerned about me knowing his grandfather had wanted him to keep watch on Kaname and me.
Startled, I replied, "I am talking to you."
Ichijou shook his head. "No, I mean… About what's bothering you," he clarified. "When I asked you this morning… I knew that you were upset with me, but there's been something else bothering you."
I strongly disagreed, "Nothing's been bothering me! I was upset; that's all."
Of course, I was lying. However, I couldn't discuss what was bothering me since nobody would believe that I had seen and spoken with the God of the Underworld. Even if my story was believed, I wasn't certain that would be reassuring. Certainly seeing one of the Fair Folk would only draw others to the conclusion that I must be of the Fair Folk myself.
And then there was the problem with my sleep recently. For the past week, I had been having such vivid dreams that I couldn't wake up when my alarm-clock went off. Luckily, Nasrin would become annoyed quickly by the alarm, and she would manage to shake me awake.
Sometimes simply closing my eyes brings me back into the dream-world. Some days I'm afraid to try to go back to sleep. Not all my dreams are like this morning's. Most of them are frightening memories, or situations that I only remember vaguely. I don't like when the dreams are suspenseful…
"Are you certain there's nothing bothering you?" Ichijou asked.
Still recalling the strangeness of my dreams, I answered, "No… I mean, yes! I'm fine. I would tell you if something were wrong."
Luckily, Ichijou decided that pressing me further would only upset me again, and he asked, "Are you interested in mythology, Lily-chan?"
Considering that the entire coffee table was covered in various texts on mythology of all origins (Celtic, Norse, Japanese, Inuit – to name a few), I knew that Ichijou was only asking to be conversational.
"Yeah; just a bit," I answered, casually flipping to the next page in the book I'd picked up.
My attention was quickly drawn to the image of the God of the Underworld, and the caption placed beneath it.
Obviously this image is merely one person's interpretation of what the God of the Underworld must appear as. This artist seems to be claiming that the God of the Underworld is nothing except a skeleton underneath a large, darkly colored cloak!
Looking below the image, I read the caption silently.
"The God of the Underworld is also known by the title God of Death. The God of the Underworld came by this name due to people's claims of occasionally seeing a cloaked skeleton walking amongst the tombstones of churchyards."
Beside me, Ichijou commented, "You've marked all the passages on the God of the Underworld…" Glancing at him, I noticed that he was checking all the books I'd placed on the table. "Literally, all of them…"
Hastily, I lied, "I'm just studying one god at a time! When I've finished studying the God of the Underworld, I'm going to focus on Goddess Sadb."
"Goddess Sadb? I've never heard of her before," Ichijou told me. He glanced up at me, as if trying to see if I were portraying any indications of insanity.
"She's the goddess of flowers and spring," I blushed. "My mother used to tell stories about her. Of course, one of her stories about Goddess Sadb was that she instructed my mother about how and when to plant flowers."
Ichijou laughed lightly. "My mother used to tell me stories like that as well," he told me. "When I was younger, I believed everything she said. Even after I learned that her stories weren't true, I still liked hearing them."
"I wish I could have known my mother better," I admitted. "Even if she'd lived, I don't think I would have known her well."
"Why not?" Ichijou asked.
"She didn't tell me everything," I answered. "She only told me stories, or taught me about colors and lines. She never told me anything important."
"Lily-chan, parents almost never tell their children everything," Ichijou consoled me. "Especially when they're five-year-olds. What's important for a five-year-old is different than what's important for a fifteen-year-old."
Feeling slightly more content, I smiled placidly. While Ichijou continued on to tell me about how he had been taught tea ceremony by his mother when he was younger, I considered how different he was from his grandfather.
His grandfather is so cold and distant… How could Ichijou be so warm and cheerful after being raised by someone like that? Maybe it's because he wanted to be more like his mother? Maybe his mother was more open and considerate, so it left an impression on him?
Finally, I commented, "You're so different from your grandfather."
Ichijou's face changed so drastically that I regretted mentioning his grandfather at all. If Ichijou could stop smiling and begin looking so worried in only a moment, his fear of his grandfather must be severe.
"Y-Yeah… He isn't exactly pleased… Ever since my childhood, my grandfather's tried to make me less emotional and more reserved," he told me, looking away in deep thought. "He insisted on raising me."
Wishing I hadn't brought up the subject of his grandfather, I didn't respond. I looked down at the book in my lap, and turned the page. I didn't look up until Ichijou spoke once more.
"Of course, I should be thankful that I was raised by someone. You didn't have anyone at all to go to for guidance. At least, my grandfather could always give me his opinion – even if I only agreed with it rarely," Ichijou acknowledged.
"Yes, except that just isn't true," I dissented. "My father might not have been capable of giving me advice, but I was supported by the communities I joined. If I ever needed guidance on anything, I would ask someone I trusted." After a moment, I added, "To be honest with you, I enjoyed managing my own life. I was able to participate in activities that my parents would never have permitted me to so much as consider; I had so much more freedom than everyone else."
For a moment, Ichijou was silent, then he reminded me, "But you also had to deal with a man who wouldn't hesitate to harm you. It seems like a terrible cost for a little freedom."
Although I knew Ichijou was right, I didn't want to admit that to him. I didn't want him to know that my accomplishments had always felt empty, or that I sobbed inside an empty barn simply because I couldn't stand having three large barns, four small barns, and numerous pastures without horses. What I wanted people to see in me was that I was positive, strong, and capable.
Standing, I told Ichijou, "I really did have to chase down White Lily, so…"
Ichijou stood, as well. "I'll see you tomorrow evening, Lily-chan. Sleep well."
After Ichijou left, I collected my pajamas, then took a shower. Relieved to finally have the dust removed, I re-entered my dorm-room feeling perfectly refreshed and ready to sink into bed.
Maybe I'll be able to finish my dream from this morning, I thought, closing my eyes.
Despite my desire to hear the rest of my mother's story, I ended up dreaming about why Kaname and Ichijou's grandfather could possibly be interested in me. For hours, different voices called out from the darkness of my dreams.
"Stay close to her; she could become useful…" Ichijou's grandfather repeated, darkly.
"Kaname-sama told us to be extra certain nothing happened to you," Aidou told me, seriously.
"Don't you understand that if you're injured, I'll be the one to answer for it?" Ichijou asked me, desperately.
"I protect you because you are different from the rest," the God of the Underworld informed me, gravely.
When the darkness finally overcame me, I was relieved.
Chapter sixteen re-written. This chapter took me a while to write... I was still attempting to recover from chapter fifteen. :/ Hopefully, this chapter makes sense. It's mostly filler, but it contains some necessary information; I'm just trying to tie my story in with Vampire Knight. In case nobody's noticed, my previous version of this story was almost completely AU. (That's what happens when you start writing a fanfiction before reading the manga thoroughly.)
Notes:
I am not using actual mythological stories, or gods/goddesses. The story I wrote for Goddess Sadb is my own; as is Goddess Sadb herself. (It would be far too difficult for me to use actual mythology to write this fanfiction; although, developing Goddess Sadb's story took me a good four hours... Nobody steal that story! I have it documented, so it is completely mine! As is Lily, Nasrin, Scott, etc.)
Sadb: pronounced: SIEV: Irish Gaelic for "sweet, goodly"
Please, review to let me know of any errors, or thoughts.
Thanks,
Mango