For Gagakuma's birthday
1,460 words
Rated T
Being captive is boring, Sanji thought, sighing heavily as he tried to settle himself down for a nap until his captors came back. He might as well, there was nothing better to do.
Unfortunately, the stiff ache in his arms that were cuffed behind his back and the cold hard press of the chair for too many hours made falling to sleep difficult. He tried shifting, hoping to encourage some blood flow to his numb rear, but to no avail.
Suddenly there was a loud racket coming from somewhere beyond his cell. A man's voice rang out, vaguely familiar but difficult to distinguish among the scuffle of feet and the echoes in the stone corridor.
Fortunately for Sanji they were coming closer, close enough to make out words and voices, though he immediately wished he couldn't.
"I'm moving, so why do you keep pushing me?!" Zoro's complaint reached Sanji's cell and seemed to reverberate off the stone and metal that made up his cell.
"Shut up," Another voice, probably the guard, spoke. His voice was much quieter and sounded dreadfully unamused by the fit the shitty swordsman was throwing.
"Ohh, I get it," Sanji could practically hear the sadistic smile on the swordsman's face. "You like touching men, right? You're more of a pervert than that pervert cook," Zoro chuckled, obviously amused by his own shitty joke.
As if Sanji wasn't having a bad enough day, he could hear the stop of their feet followed by the jingle of keys right outside of his cell door. /Oh no. No no no/, he mentally willed them to move on. Anywhere, the shitty swordsman could drown in the sea for all Sanji cared, just not—
His train of thought was detailed by the grating of the heavy cell door as it was pried open and a body was shoved inside.
Zoro fell to his knees, his balance compromised by the manacles securing his hands. He scraped painfully along the stone floor and sent a scathing look back at the burly guard that had shoved him in.
"That wasn't nice," Zoro chided but was ignored as the guard hauled him up by the collar of his filthy white shirt, manhandling him to a place beyond Sanji's field of vision.
There was a heavy thunk against his back, and he could hear Zoro's breathy exhale as the wind was knocked out of him. Sanji assumed he'd been forced into a cold hard chair much like his own. He jerked away from the brush of Zoro's hands against his and shot a glare over his shoulder as if Zoro could help it.
Once the guard had finished securing Zoro to his seat, he made for the door, stopping to share a sympathetic look with Sanji.
"He's your problem now," the guard said, and then he was gone, closing the door behind him and plunging Sanji into darkness with only the marimo for company. Great.
"What the hell are you doing, shitty swordsman?" Sanji grumbled irritably.
"Nice to see you too, Cook," Zoro chuckled. He didn't sound at all worried about his current predicament. Not that Sanji was worried about the marimo's predicament either. The bastard could rot in jail for all Sanji cared.
"How'd you end up in here, Marimo?" Sanji asked. "Another drunken bar fight?"
"I'm here to rescue the helpless damsel," Zoro smirked over his shoulder. His fingers brushed against Sanji's behind their backs. He hooked his fingers through Sanji's, squeezing the cook's slender digits in a gesture of reassurance. One that Sanji did not appreciate.
"I do not need rescuing!" Sanji growled, yanking his hands as far away from Zoro's as he could. It caused a painful wrench in his shoulders, but it was worth it to escape the bastard's grasp.
"Doesn't look that way to me," Zoro snorted.
Sanji couldn't exactly argue that, but he wasn't going to let Zoro get the best of him. "You're not exactly doing much better yourself, shitty-marimo," He pointed out smugly.
"No?" Zoro asked. He sounded too self-assured for someone so stuck, but it put Sanji a little on edge. He hated for Zoro to show him up.
There was a strange popping crunch, and something brushed against Sanji's hands. Something that felt metallic, but the touch was gone before he could identify what it might have been. There was a clattering noise immediately after, and Sanji could see something move out of the corner of his eye.
"Ah-hah," Zoro declared triumphantly.
Sanji's head snapped to the side. There Zoro stood, free of his bindings, by the one small window of the otherwise completely sealed cell.
"Robin really comes in handy when you need her to," He took a moment to laugh at his own joke before reaching through the narrow space between the bars. He pulled first sword through, then a second, and finally a third, securing each to his hip while Sanji watched in awe.
"What the hell?" Sanji asked, but at that moment there were three taps on the cell door.
Zoro strode over, tapping three times on the door himself. A small ring of keys was handed through the slot in the door. The hand that passed them off was elegant and familiar…a hand Sanji had worshiped at least once before.
"Thanks, Robin," Zoro said, accepting the keys and turning back to Sanji.
"Robin-chan?" Sanji asked, curiously. He swore he could hear her answering chuckle from a distance.
"Sure, I needed a little help," Zoro shrugged. "Now," He leaned forward, his hands supporting his weight against the back of the chair on either side of Sanji's body. Sanji was effectively trapped, even more now than before.
"Pay up," Zoro said to him.
"What?" Sanji frowned, his brow furrowing in confusion.
"Pay up," Zoro repeated. "When the prince comes to save the princess, he always gets a kiss, right?"
"Who's a fucking princess?!" Sanji spat. "Just let me out of here, you shitty marimo!"
"Not until you kiss me," Zoro demanded, leaning forward slightly, invading Sanji's personal space. "Come on, Cook. I'm risking my life here for you."
"And precious Robin-chwan's too," Sanji glowered.
"She volunteered," Zoro shrugged dismissively. "So? My reward?"
Sanji was dying for a cigarette. He wasn't sure exactly how long he's been locked in this shitty cell but it had to have been at least a day. His arms and ass were sore, he had to piss worse than he could ever remember, and he was dying for a cigarette.
"One fucking kiss, Marimo," He growled before leaning forward, closing the distance between them and pressing his lips against Zoro.
Zoro kissed him back, hard, pushing Sanji back against the chair with the force of his lips, stealing his breath away. Sanji would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy it, just a little bit. Zoro could really kiss. For a moment Sanji forgot where he was, forgot that he was imprisoned, tied up, and uncomfortable in his bonds. For one moment it was just the movement of Zoro's clever lips against his own and nothing else.
But when the marimo's tongue flicked questioningly against his lips, Sanji decided that was enough.
"Back off, shithead," He gritted out. "And get me the hell out of these cuffs."
"I'm one step ahead of you," Zoro smirked, producing the manacles from behind Sanji's back. Apparently he'd been working on unlocking them the whole time he was kissing Sanji, and there was something infuriating about that to the cook.
Zoro freed Sanji's legs from the chair easily, and narrowly dodged a kick to the head once he'd done so.
"Hey!" Zoro protested, but Sanji ignored him.
Sanji stretched, joints popping as they loosened up. He groaned in relief and turned back to the marimo. Zoro was eyeing him the same way Luffy might eye a pile of meat and Sanji smirked, arching his back in one final stretch that he knew Zoro would appreciate.
"Hurry up and open the door, shitty swordsman," Sanji smirked. This might be his ticket out of here quickly and it seemed to keep the swordsman quiet, which was an added bonus. "The sooner we get back to the ship, the better, right?"
Unfortunately, it seemed Sanji's bribe worked a little too well. Rather than unlocking the door quietly, Zoro drew his swords and made quick work of the thick metal…which then landed with an alarming crash that reverberated up and down the stone walls. It took the guards no time at all to find them, and the escape from the prison was narrow even with Robin's help.
And needless to say, after that little stunt Sanji didn't feel much like speaking to Zoro at all, let alone making good on his offers.