"Hey guys! We're back!" Ashley grinned. "Are you guys ready for another interview?"
"I guess." Steve sighed. "I just can't wait to see what weirdos wanna know about us."
"Alright, it looks like a bit chunk of this chapter is going to be from EmilyArtypants."
"Oh boy."
"Alright, first question; for all you monsters, why do you only spawn at night? And why do you burn in the day?"
"I don't." Creeper grinned. "But that's just because our King lets us have more time to murder you pathetic Minecraft Players."
"Stalker." Steve muttered.
"Why only at night, though, guys?"
"Nighttime is cooler...the sun is so hot and it just burns and burns and burns and then everything goes black..." Skeleton stared into space.
"Screw that, the Nether is perfect for heat, always lava and fire everywhere..." Ghast stared off into the distance. "I want to get back there soon, so let's make this quick."
"Day. Bad." Zombie groaned. "Night. Good."
"Oh, hey! Thanks for joining us, Zombie! Enderman, how exactly do you teleport?" Ashley asked.
"Like this!" He disappeared and reappeared behind her, trying to make it so she couldn't find him, not liking the eyes that followed him. "I don't know, really. It's something we're born with. You just think about where you wanna go...and poof!"
"Alright. Creeper, this one's for you. Do you guys really die when you explode?"
Creeper raised an eyebrow. "Are you kidding? Yes, we die! And it's annoying too, how our King gave us suicide instead of teleporting powers or the power to shoot out fire. Sometimes I think he just wants to kill us."
"Ghast, how do you blow fire? Does it hurt?" Ashley asked.
"I have a fire inside of me, and when I want a tiny bit to come out, it does. It's like my anger fire. I'm miserable, and I cry a lot, but I'm also really angry a lot, too." Ghast replied. "Can I demonstrate?" He turned to Steve.
"No, no! It's okay, I think we got the picture." Ashley replied. "Um...the next two are for all of you; do mobs ever use the bathroom, and do mobs reproduce?"
Silence.
"Who is this person?!"
"And what's a bathroom?"
"Um, it's where you-" Ashley kicked Steve in the stomach before he could finish his sentence.
"And you guys still haven't answered the question." Ashley glanced around the quiet room.
"I strongly suggest we don't answer it." Enderman spoke up.
"And I strongly agree." Ashley replied. "Enderman, are there Enderwomen?"
The tall, black figure grinned. "Maybe."
"Endie! Where'd you go?!" A feminine voice shouted from a while's away.
"I'm doing an interview, hun! Give me a few minutes!"
"Hurry! It's gonna rain soon!"
Enderman looked worriedly up at the cloudy sky.
"Um, Creeper, do you guys have genders?"
Creeper rolled his eyes. "Everything does."
"And why are you guys green? Why not purple?"
"You mean, like this?" Creeper turned purple, to everyone's shock. And then he turned back to green. "I just like green better. Or should I say, our Creeper King programmed us too, and we just prefer to stay green. Green's a cool color."
"Agreed." Ashley replied. "Ghast, how do you fly? Are you made of helium or something?"
"I can't fly here as well as I can there, because in the Nether there's a lot of heat." He holds out a tentacle from his jellyfish-like body. "I use my legs to push that heat and it propels me upward. Here it's still hot, if I went out of the shade, but I couldn't fly as high."
"Right. So you use the hot hair kind of like a hot air balloon. Sorta."
"What's a hot air balloon?"
"Nevermind." Ashley replied. "Alrighty, Skeleton, do you have a brain? What do you think with?"
"Nope. I'm just a skeleton." Skeleton knocked on his skull of a head with a hollow sound.
"Then...how do you think?"
"I'm undead, it's not really that hard."
"Alright, that was the last question from EmilyArtypants, and I have one of my own. Zombie, how is it that you eat tons and tons of brains but still remain to be so stupid?"
"Brains..." Zombie stared off into space. He noticed a pig out in the sun, and walked out of the shade that Ashley had provided. Zombie began to burn as he stumbled toward the pig, who had yet to notice him. "Brains...brains..." Zombie soon realize that the pig had no brain, and stared to walk back to the shade, but he died before he could.
"Ooh, XP!" Steve got up to get the tiny green lights, but Ashley stopped him.
"I don't think so."
"Aw."
"And I got another question for you guys. Enderman, I thought you'd be kind of more serious, ya know?"
"I can when I want to be." The tall thing grinned. "Especially when I trying to scare the heck of out the newbie Minecraft Players."
"Well, you succeeded when I first started minecraft. Those sleepless nights..." She shuddered. "Alright, it seems we got quite a couple more questions from the reviews. Let's see who's next..." She glanced at her paper. "Alright, one question from Steph1007, who asks, Steve, why do you kill creepers? Everyone says they just want hugs."
Steve glared at the green exploding thing sitting beside him. "That's what they say."
"Ugh, do I have to answer this one?" Creeper muttered. "The younger creepers really do hate being trained to basically commit suicide, so they just want to hug somebody, and when they do, they get so happy their TNT goes off."
"Sure, sure." Steve rolled his eyes. "Or they, like every other creeper, just wanna kill you, and really I'm just defending myself."
"Heartless." Creeper muttered.
"Armless!"
"Great insult, genius."
"Alright, both of you! Knock it off." Ashley rolled her eyes. "Now, this one is from Epic Blowtorch. And we need to summon Blaze from the Nether for this one."
The fiery creature looked around curiously but confusingly. "What the? Where am I?" A metallic breathing sound escaped as he huffed. "Definitely not the Nether. Am I in that place with the ugly guys with diamond swords and freaky cats that I've heard about?"
"Blaze, you're at the Minecraft Interviews, and Blow Torch wants to know why you are so addicted to minecarts."
"Minecarts?! Who said minecarts?! You have minecarts?! I want minecarts! No, I need minecarts! Somebody give me minecarts! Before I murder all of you!"
"Easy there, fire dude," Steve slowly held out a minecart, and it was snatched from his hand.
"My precious, my precious!" Blaze admired it. "Minecart of holy one, whisper to me all your secrets!" He held his head close to it. "Really! That's a shocker...keep speaking to me, Oh Precious One, your voice soothes the mind..."
"O...kay. Who else is in favor of skipping that question?" Ashley looked at her paper again. "Alright, this one's from Epic Blowtorch again, asking how come zombies dance a lot? Hang on, I'll spawn another." She held out an egg and punched it to the ground, and the Zombie appeared and she repeated the question.
"Dance? Dance? Nothing better than dance. Brains better than dance. Nothing else better than dance. Dance!" Zombie groaned and began to turn to a nonexistent beat.
"Whoa, hang on, bro! You need some music!" And Steve grabbed a jukebox and played it. Zombie danced and everybody laughed while Creeper hung on the ceiling with a torch above him, so when he changed color it looked like a disco ball.
"Alright, alright! Come on, guys, next question!" Ashley called above the noise. "Epic Torch asks, why do Iron Golems protect villagers? So, let's find out!" She spawned one and asked the question.
"Villagers? We don't protect them, they pay us in emeralds. What else did you think they used it for?" Iron Golem replied. "Plus, killing stuff is fun."
"Alright, let's also spawn a villager." Ashley hit the egg to the ground. "Epic Torch wants to know why you guys are so stupid. Wooden tools aren't worth five emerald!"
"Yes it is!" Villager exclaimed. "I can't even believe you just said that! Wooden tools for five emerald is a good deal, compared to how much it's worth! Do you not even use the tools?!"
"Um, I do! And they're worth far less than that!" Steve exclaimed. "Do you even use the tools?!"
"Well, um, I-there's a, uh, perfectly true answer for that, and we, um-"
"Steve, put him out of his misery."
"Gladly." Steve drew his diamond sword.
"No, no, wait! Look over there!" He pointed, turned around, and ran.
"Alrighty, you wimp!" Steve called after him. "Next question?"
"Epic Blowtorch wants to know, Enderman, why do you get mad when someone looks at you? Are you self-conscious?"
"Well...um...no, I mean, why would I, I mean, that's ridiculous, I just, uh-" He glanced around as the eyes turned to him. "Stop looking at me!"
And he teleported right into the rain. "Ow, ow, ow!" And he teleported back to the safety of the interview, and sat down without a word, glaring at the eyes that stared at him until they looked away.
"Okay then. And Epic Torch says that she thinks baby zombies are on steroids, they run so fast. Your guys's opinion?"
"They're just really fast, and they get slower as they get older, because their hunger for brains slows them down and makes them really stupid." Skeleton replied, and everyone looked to him in shock. "What? I do my research."
"Okay then. Next, BlackDragon41 wants to know, Creeper, why are you always frowning, is your mouth permanently set like that? And why, are you always depressed?"
"No, it's not always like that. It ends up permanently like that once we realize that all we're meant for is to commit suicide to kill Minecraft Player scum. And um, yeah, that makes us the tiniest bit depressed." Creeper rolled his eyes.
"And Enderman, the same guy wants to know why you're always taking his blocks."
Enderman shifted uncomfortably under the eyes that glanced at him. "Well, the queen requests that her castle be made out of random blocks...and they're all so pretty...and I don't wanna hurt the flowers that are on them, so sometimes I just take the whole block..."
"Alrighty. Ghast, BlackDragon41 wants to know how do you sleep and where, if you sleep at all?"
"Sleep? What's that?" Ghast asked. "A new potion that the Minecraft Players have? I'd like to murder them and get the potions...and when they don't have it it makes me so mad..."
"Okay... Steve, the same guy wants to know, just pick one, pickaxe or sword?"
"Sword!" Steve drew his diamond one and grinned.
"And, the last question from BlackDragon41, Skeleton, if he were to replace all your arrows with apples, what would you do?" Ashley asked, reading off her paper.
"Why would he do that?" Skeleton frowned. "I need my arrows. And I'd use an apple and throw it at him until he got knocked out and then I'd take my arrows back."
"Alright, now, that's the last question from the reviews, but now for a question from me; Skeleton, where is Spider, and how come I occasionally see you riding him?"
"Spider's probably in a cave, mumbling about how stupid Minecraft Players are. And because we're best friends." Skeleton replied.
"Can you find him and ask him to come here for the interviews?" Ashley asked.
"Well...yes...but..." Skeleton glanced uneasily at the group. "You have to swear on all your lives that he will not be harmed in any possible way. And if he is, I will make sure my arrow goes through your brain." He looked specifically at Steve. "And I might bring him for the next interview."
"Alrighty! Until then, guys! Cya!"
"And cut!" The camera man, Tyler, grinned. "Now Skeleton, go find Spider!"
{Remember, guys, I can't update unless I have questions to answer! So send some in!} -ihearthorses6000