Kurt knows when his father tells him that he has chosen the perfect outfit where they are on their way to. He has had an inkling of course. Rachel is awful at hiding things and Santana was acting all worried when he said that he and Blaine were back together 'for now'.
His heart breaks for the second time in his life while his father drives him to the impending proposal. He tries to voice his opinions to tell his father-the man who loves him more than anyone else in the world and the man who he loves more than anything else-that he's not ready, that they're only high school sweethearts and that Blaine just might not be the one, but Burt just keeps driving and even taps into Kurt's heart by mentioning his mother. What hurts Kurt the most is that he is being played. He's being forced into something and he is sure that his heart is shattering into pieces. His father thinks that he can't do any better than Blaine. He thinks that Blaine is all Kurt will ever get, or at least the best that he will ever get. Kurt doesn't cry, he's too numb to.
The proposal is lavish and down right obsurd, but very Blaine, and Kurt can't help but look upon it fondly. It's not that he doesn't love Blaine, because he does and he always will. Blaine was his savior for a while. Blaine was, and who is he kidding, still is-even after cheating, the perfect specimen. He felt like he did Blaine how he felt about Finn when they first met and it was okay, no one yelled at him for having an obvious crush on him because he was actually gay.
He says yes, because Blaine's speech is probably true, and his father is probably right, there's no one else out there for either of them. They're simply meant to be. No matter if he says yes now or later, he'll end up with living a life with Blaine Anderson. He will probably hold down fort in some upstate New York suburb and Blaine will go to the city and maybe teach at NYADA. The picture is so clear that it almost makes him physically sick.
"God you're lucky, Kurt Hummel." Mercedes sighs that night. They all planned a sleepover at Rachel's house and it feels comfortable and safe, but for some reason seems to only add to the queasy feeling still present in Kurt's stomach.
"Blaine is indeed a prince." He smiles politely.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Santana drones from where she's laying on Rachel's perfectly made bed, her head hanging off the end to still be in the circle they had all formed on the floor. "It's all so romantic, but I just can't wait till the bachelorette party." She smirks and Kurt laughs and matches it, not even minding her insinuation that he's female, maybe it's heterophobic buts she's the only one that he doesn't mind saying these things.
"Yeah, where we do exactly what we're doing right now?" Mercedes laughs.
"No!" Rachel chirps in. "We should go to a karaoke bar! We'll all be twenty one by the time we have it."
"I don't know, I was thinking something with caged strippers and penis shaped shot glasses." He muses and there's a collective gasp, even from Santana before she bursts out laughing and Rachel hits her head lightly as Mercedes does the same to Kurt.
"Speaking of shots!" Santana transitions in an excited tone, rolling over to ruffle through her bag, producing a large bottle of tequila a moment later. "Courtesy of Mama Lopez." She sings as she presents it.
"I don't drink." Mercedes chuckles as Rachel shakes her head and holds her hands up in omisson.
"Come on, never have I ever, if you've done it then you drink." Kurt says, and they all look at him strangely again, and he really cannot blame them, he's not quite sure what has gotten into him.
"You're on Hummel."
Santana drinks for having a threesome.
They both drink for giving oral sex in a public place, and then again for receiving it.
Kurt drinks for being fingered while watching a movie with friends.
They both drink for having anal sex.
Santana drinks for having sex with a girl.
They both drink for having sex with a boy.
And now Kurt is drunk and laughing hysterically as he rolls from side to side on the floor when they all go insane after he tells them that most everything that he drank for were done with Adam and not Blaine.
He sneaks out of the house that night and walks all the way to Blaine's. He has a key to let himself in because The sound of the door bell gives Blaine's mother anxiety. He makes his way to Blaine's room quietly and covers his mouth to hold in his giggles when he sees Cooper standing in the hall way, looking at him with a smirk.
"Why weren't you at my proposal?" He asks in a whisper.
"I just got in two hours ago. It's five in the morning, you know?" Cooper replies, walking closer. "Are you drunk?"
"It was not that time when I left." He giggles again. "A little bit." He answers.
"Fuck, and you drove here!" Cooper hisses and Kurt frowns because being yelled at when drunk just really sucks.
"I walked."
"That's worse!"
"Can I lay with you?" The words are out before he even gives thought to them.
"Lay with Blaine, dear." Cooper rolls his eyes and points to Blaine's room.
"Aww, you don't want to cuddle your brother in law?" He pouts and turns a fraction to wiggle his butt at Cooper, and somewhere in the back of his head he's kicking himself for this.
Cooper is silent for a long moment and he looks sad and it makes Kurt feel ashamed. Finally he gets some type of affection when the older man wraps an arm around him and steers him to Blaine's door. "He's a good kid, Kurt." He whispers into his ear before going off to his own room.
Blaine is all smiles when Kurt wakes him, like he sees it all as some romantic gesture that Kurt would come and wake him in the morning with sweet love. He doesn't even realize that Kurt is drunk, attributing the roughness to the 'passion between them' when Kurt fucks him hard into the mattress.
The first thing that he does when he gets back is go to see Adam, and his heart hurts when he takes everything so well. "You know what I think?" He asks.
"What's that?" Kurt whispers and cuddles deeper into his side.
"I think that you two must really be in love." And Kurt kind of wants to punch him for some reason that he refuses to think too strongly about. "You know? You guys are like the couple that will always be and I'm glad that you guys aren't denying that." He shrugs and kisses Kurt hair. "You're lucky to have that, kitten." Kurt says nothing.
He spends the night at Adam's, but this time they watch British TV and movies instead of having sex and Adam is so entertaining that it's almost just as fun. When he wakes he's still laying in Adams arms and he leans his head up to look at the handsome boy. He had taken everything so well, he cuddled, he didn't even try to make any advances and he praised Kurt for being engaged instead of judging him. Kurt's stomach sinks as he thinks over the night and he realizes that Adam is...sweet. Sweet like Blaine, sweet like his relationship with his father, sweet like Rachel and Mercedes, sweet like glee club, sweet like his whole fucking life.
He runs from the apartment, he runs and runs and runs till his legs tire. He ends up on some seedy corner store where goes to buy a water. Whren he get to the counter, his eyes wander from the clerk to look over the boxes of cigarettes in there organized columns, and bites his lip.
"This all?" The older woman, Melva her name tag reads, asks in her raspy voice.
"Uh, ye-no." He stutters, still a bit out of breath. "I need some cigarettes."
"Sure what kind?" She turns to the rows.
"I uh, the uh...the kind..." He tries looking over them but has no idea what anything means.
"Here, have a classic." She smiles and shoots him a wink as she plucks a yellow box of American Spirits from the row.
Kurt thanks her and blushes before he walks out the door. He goes to the side of the building, letting himself fall back against the brick wall. He takes out one of the cigarettes and thanks Melva again in his head for reminding him to buy a lighter. It takes him a few tries to flick it on and he feels as though he's going to be yelled at when other people walk by.
He closes his eyes and lets the smoke wash over him, just holding the burning cigarette in his fingers, breathing in the smoke that swirls out from it's burning end as it surrounds him.
"Never took you as a smoker." A familiar voice says and Kurt startles when he opens his eyes to see Sebastian Smythe thin and handsome face.
"Sebastian!" He gasps and Sebastian cocks his head. "What are you doing here?" He asks and Sebastian laughs.
"Same thing you are, idiot. I live here." He explained. His words are so far from sweet but they make Kurt smile wide and toothy, his chest jumping with giggles.
Sebastian just narrows his and plucks the cigarette from his finger, bringing it to his own lips and takes an expert drag. Kurt a eyes follow the smoke as he exhales, eyes wide and mesmerized, his smile still set in place. "What the fuck are you so happy for?"