[Thank you guys so much for the feed back! Please keep it coming! I know that this chapter took way too long, I've been on vacation and couldn't post it by mobile. Hope you all like it!]
To Sebastian: "Oh my god, you are unbelievable, Sebastian!"
To Kurt: "unbelievably attractive!"
To Kurt: " Kurt, why do you do things? How does your mind work?"
To Sebastian: "I didn't want to hurt her feelings!"
To Sebastian: "You cried all night and sang Somewhere Over the Rainbow to your cat?"
To Kurt: "That's exactly what I did and my cat loves the shit out of me and I sounded amazing, so I stopped crying."
To Kurt: "It's all about sex, Kurt. Don't you understand that? We can't even hide behind baby making like the straights. We are the most sexual being of them all."
To Sebastian: "Sex is great and boy's are hot, but I just want to be a person. Sex can be a part of that, but for heaven's sake, let me just be a person!"
To Kurt: "Best fuck you've ever had?"
To Sebastian: "Adam. I dated him for literally only one day. It was when Blaine and I split."
To Sebastian: "The guy he cheated with is Eli C. Go look at his FB, he seems like creep, even more so than you."
To Kurt: "Hmm, if he looks anything like his profile pic he's tall, thin and pale, just like you!"
They text. They text a lot, but that's really it. Sebastian has picked him up from his apartment a few times and they had coffee. He can't help but think adoringly of Sebastian now, the fact that he comes all the way to the apartment to walk with Kurt to the coffee shop is a little ridiculous and he complains to Sebastian but he'd be crushed if he ever stopped.
Rachel hasn't even spoken to Sebastian once, she hasn't even run into him yet, but she hates him. She strikes up a caty argument with Kurt about their new companionship from time to time, but mostly they just don't speak of it.
Sebastian is on his way over when Blaine calls and Kurt is set on ignoring it because he just doesn't have time to answer, but then Santana says something. "Hey, lover boy is looking for some sexy phone talk, are you ignoring him?" She asks and although the words sound normal for her, her tone is a bit too flat and he knows that she is asking for a reason.
"No." He says just as flat and they share a look, both their eyes wide and it comforts Kurt that she cares enough to be scared for him. He takes the call after a moment and brings it into the room as Blaine starts ranting.
"It's just that he should respect me, I'll be his brother in law!" He practically whines.
"He's the teacher, Blaine. He wants to...excercise his authority. I think that this is good for him and maybe you - it's good for you too." He explains in the calming tone he always uses when dealing with Blaine's ego.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Blaine asks and he sounds cute and pouty and that makes Kurt smile. "You know, you're my fiancé now, Kurt. You're supposed to stick by me, he's not even your real brother." He follows up with, and any sweetness then is gone.
"Right, I have to go my friend is taking me for coffee."
"What friend? Adam?" Blaine asks and Kurt's nose burns and his throat tightens but he takes a deep breath before he actually gives in and cries. He doesn't know why he does, and is too afraid to give it any thought, so he lets himself get angry.
"I have to go Blaine."
"It is him." Blaine laughs bitterly and it's something that Kurt has seen him do to Cooper or Mr. Anderson, or even Sebastian a few times, but never to himself.
"No." He answers, his voice sharp and bitchy. "And he is my friend and you don't have to know who he is because he is mine," he snaps and hangs up.
He whimpers and falls back onto his bed and he doesn't know what he's just done or why he's done it. There had been times that he freaked out on Blaine, yes, but he'd never been possessive over his things, especially his friends. In fact he was sure that all of them preferred Blaine over himself.
He groans and rolls over onto his side. Even Sebastian likes Blaine better, Sebastian who wasn't sweet like his other friends. He's jealous and that kills him.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Again he's saved by Sebastian, but this time he can't stop his thoughts as quickly and he speaks.
"Why do you like Blaine?" he asks. Sebastian's right brow pops and he crosses his arms.
"Easy to talk to, musically inclined, and, well . . . ass." Kurt chuckles and nods.
"I'm not trying to steal him from you, if that's what you're worried about," he adds and flops down beside Kurt. "I've passed the fuck-every-warbler phase, now I'm on the fuck-hot-guys-with-money phase," he went on.
Kurt can't really register what Sebastian has said right away, focused too much on the warmth that is radiating from him, and the fact that he is in his bed.
"I have no money." Kurt says, and he really needs to work on his filter, because as of late he seems to be losing it.
Sebastian just looks at him with a quirked brow. "You've gotten weird," he states, and Kurt frowns.
"I'm just me," he insists. Because even though he is lost and his emotions are jumping all over the place, he has never felt more like himself.
"You've changed though," Sebastian explains. "Or you are changing at least."
Kurt's head falls to the side and he finds that Sebastian is already looking at him, and that makes his cheeks flush a bit. "You have too," he tells him. "You're nicer and you're hanging out with me."
"Nah." Sebastian shakes his head. "I'm just growing up. You're actually changing." The words carry weight and Kurt can't really figure out why, so he pockets the information in the back of his mind and they head out.
"So, do you like being a New Yorker?" Kurt asks once they have taken a table at the new coffee shop that their trying.
"Better than Ohio." He shrugs.
"That's it?" Kurt scoffs. "I thought that you'd love New York."
"A bit cold," he shrugs again.
"You're amazing, is anything good enough for you?"
"I like flaws" Sebastian says, and Kurt cocks his head at the unexpected answer. "But I'll still point them out, New York has cold winters, I like summer."
"Fair enough." Kurt says slowly. "I don't like summer."
"Why not?"
"The clothes are ugly, it's too bright, it's too . . . happy." Sebastian laughs at this.
"Better watch yourself, you'll go down a dark path and it takes a long time to find your way back."
"Stop saying things that I need to think about." He grumbles.
Kurt calls Blaine on the way into his apartment, he had been thinking about it since Sebastian's 'advice' back at the shop, but Sebastian refused to let Kurt walk home by himself.
"Kurt." Blaine answers, his tone worried.
"Blaine." Kurt says back, leaning against the brick wall beside the door. "I'm sorry, honey, I was just moody earlier," he explains, "Growing up seems to be harder than it looks."
"It's okay, I get it," Blaine says understandingly, "but just . . . don't just hang up on me and then ignore me. You've been a grown up for a long time, sweetie, I'm still getting there," he says and Kurt's brows twist into a puzzled expression. "I don't want to do . . . what happened last time again, okay?"
Was he threatening cheating? Was he trying to make Kurt feel bad? Was he trying to make himself feel better about it, by placing blame on Kurt again? Or was he just so self obsessed that he really thought after an argument he could just run into someone else's arms and have a reasonable excuse.
"Yeah," he says slowly, "Goodnight, Blaine. I'll talk to you tomorrow." He hangs up without waiting for a response.
"Sebastian again, Kurt! Really?" Rachel yells the moment he walks in. She's wearing lounge clothes and her hair is up. That's usually when she's the nicest, so Kurt doesn't go right to fighting back just yet.
"Yeah, we're not in high school anymore, remember," he teases and goes into the kitchen to stand beside her as she makes a smoothie.
"I don't like him," she shakes her head, "and it . . . it seems strange that you're hanging out with a single gay guy, known for his slutty ways, and still with Adam," she says, "I just hope Blaine knows all of this, mister". The playful 'mister' is meant to keep Kurt from getting angry - but it doesn't work.
"Are you kidding me, did you forget that Blaine had sex with some Facebook guy, and did you forget that you cheated on my brother with an actual man whore?" Her eyes snap up and Kurt wants to take it all back.
"Wow!" She says, her eyes already wet.
"I'm being bitchy because I had a little fight with Blaine," he says quickly, and reaches out to take her hand.
"Do you really think what I did with Brody was bad?" she asks and he wants to laugh at how selfish she is, how selfish they all seem to be.
"No," he whispers instead, because he can't yet find it in himself to be like that. "Sorry." She nods and squeezes back.
"I shall mind my own business."
"Good!" Kurt smiles and kisses her cheek. "Because I'm totally going to sleep at Adam's tonight."
"What?" She chirps.
"Movie night, shut up," he laughs. "We're going to be drinking, and I'd rather not head home drunk".
"Be careful with that," she mutters and gives a stern look - but says nothing else. He didn't really have anything planed with Adam, he was actually afraid that the man may not even be home.
It takes a moment for him to muster up the courage to knock, which is stupid, because he's sure that Adam is his best friend-best boy friend at least. Finally he knocks, and gives a shy smile when Adam answers.
"Unexpected!" Adam says after staring at Kurt for a good few minutes.
"I didn't want to be with the girls tonight," he explains. Suddenly this doesn't feel like a good idea and he feels really stupid standing there with his overnight bag.
Adam looks him over before smiling his usual bright smile and stepping aside to let him in. "Something happen?" he asks.
"Just missed you," Kurt shrugs and makes his way to Adam's couch, setting his bag down.
"Sleeping over?" Adam asks, eyeing the bag.
"I usually do," Kurt points out, and he can't seem to meet Adam's eyes.
"When we drink," Adam chuckles. "You want to drink on a Tuesday?"
"I don't know," Kurt says hurriedly and picks at his cuticles, feeling a bit like a little boy getting in trouble.
"Well it's just that you've randomly come over on a Tuesday to sleep here, and this has kind of been a habit every weekend...and now Tuesday." He says slowly.
"Do you want me to leave?" Kurt snaps, crossing his arms over his waist and narrowing his eyes at Adam.
Adam sighs and leaning his elbow against the wall next to him "No." He says finally. "I just . . . never mind." He shrugs. "Let's watch some TV."
They watch Downton Abby and repeat almost every line to each other because it's hysterical for some reason.
"Getting tired," Kurt says in a yawn and snags the throw blanket off of the back of his couch, draping it over himself and curling into Adam's side. He's met with something he is not at all used to with Adam. He's still and and uninviting.
Kurt's eyes flick over to view the man's face - and it's stony, but those eyes are still so telling, and they look pained.
"Adam?" Kurt whispers and it's quiet for a long moment until Kurt pulls away.
"I love you, kitten," Adam smiles softly and Kurt's lips quirk into a weary smile. "And I'd never want to not have you in my life." He goes on and Kurt closes his eyes tightly, trying to shield himself from the hurt and embarrassment coming his way.
"Adam?"
"You come here all the time, we have a cuddle, we flirt, you get a bit handsy sometimes, and we both know it." He chuckled, but Kurt doesn't respond well to it, "I can't have you pretending that we're still us, that we still have potential. You're engaged, Kurt."
Kurt opens his eyes finally, but he doesn't dare glance at Adam. He stays silent and pushes the man's hand off of his thigh when he tries to comfort him.
"I should go," he decides, wiping a tear that had escaped and ran down his cheek.
"No." Adam says quickly, and reaches out to hug Kurt into him.
"Stop, I'm engaged," Kurt mutters, and his voice is sarcastic and he's not sure if he meant it to be.
"You're my kitten, I love you," he kisses Kurt's hair. "You're one of my best friends and I'm not letting you leave, just no more pretending that you're an option for me, okay?" Kurt only grunts, and the rest of the night is spent glued to the other side of the couch until they eventually decide to go to bed, where he sleeps alone in Adam's room.
To Sebastian: "Adam won't cuddle with me," Kurt texts from Adam's bed. The bed feels only slightly less lonely than his own when Adam's not there beside him.
To Kurt: "The British guy who fucked you to heaven?"
To Sebastian: "Oui Monseiur."
To Kurt: "Stop flirting with me! God, when did you get so slutty? Start jerking him off or something."
To Sebastian: "I'm in bed all alone though :(."
To Kurt: "And if he were there you would try? Aren't you engaged?"
To Sebastian: "Shut up."
To Kurt: "Sure. Now have a wank and get some sleep."
Kurt sighed and groaned a little, turning to face the wall in the dark room. Even Sebastian thinks he's an asshole. He doesn't know why he feels so guilty. It's not like he's done anything, no Blaine is the one who's done something, he's just being a boy. Boy's get tempted. Hell, look at Rachel, everyone gets tempted. This is a normal growing up problem, he's sure. The reason that it feels so strange is only because he's been a grownup for so long in every other aspect of his being. The conclusion he comes to is simply that sex and desire is scary. He jumps when the vibration of his phone breaks his thought, and his heart skips at the words.
To Kurt: "Come out with me. I can get you in anywhere".
To Sebastian: "Where?"
To Kurt: "A club, stupid".
Kurt bites his lip hard and kicks his legs frantically as if that will bring him to rational thought, and it works.
To Sebastian: "I'm engaged, stupid. Maybe when Blaine gets here, we'll all go together", he sends with a nod of optimistic acceptance, and finally gets a good night and guilt-free sleep.