Eee! I have so many people following this story! Thank you guys so much for the interest and I hope that you're enjoying it. Comments would be greatly appreciated as well. Its always nice to have feedback. I'm sorry this took me a while, I was busy making my gift to give to Chris at the NYC signing. This is the last chapter that will focus on Finn's death by the way, and again its only how it affects Kurt. Thanks for reading.

It is strange because there really isn't anything that screams religious about Adam, but Kurt finds that the boy is quite the Jesus lover. He keeps telling Kurt to 'have faith' and that Finn is watching down on him from heaven and that's just really fucking annoying to Kurt. He can't be too angry about it though, religion has never been a topic of conversation for them before, and like Kurt assumes all homosexuals are atheists, Adam assumes all white boys are Christians.

He lets it slide at first. The things he says are just what everyone says about people who die, he actually found himself reiterating some of the kind sayings to Rachel and Santana, knowing it would help them. Now more than ever, Kurt was finding himself a realist, though. It wasn't comforting - no, it was just lies.

"What if when we die, we're just dead?" He asks finally one afternoon as he and Adam are snuggled on the couch, watching old cartoons that seem so much more messed up as adults.

"Well, that's not a positive way of thinking, Mr. Hummel." Adam chides with a goofy frown that normally makes Kurt laugh, but he's too set on Adam's words to do so.

"What if that is what I think? What if I don't believe in all that stuff, like god and what not?" He asks and his tone is unfairly sharp.

"I know that it seems unfair that you've had loved ones taken away from you, but wouldn't you like to think there's a reason for all of it?" He asks with a shrug, his tone more serious.

"First of all, I'm not selfish like everyone else in my whole goddamn life, so I'm not upset that they were taken away from me, Adam." He snaps. "I'm angry because they had so much left to live and it was just ended for no reason."

Adam's face softens and he stays silent.

"C'mon. Answer me, Adam. Do you want my un-Jesus loving self out of your apartment?" He asks and Adam laughs bitterly and he looks like he's getting a bit pissed off. When his hands clench into firsts for a moment, Kurt stands and moves to put his jacket on, afraid of what may happen if he stays, and even more afraid of the shot of excitement that goes through him at the thought of fighting with the sweet and good humored man.

He knows that he should go home, that he hardly spends anytime in the apartment that his father is putting so much money into for him, but he can't. He had spent his two days of 'alone' time with Adam, and when he felt like this, when he craved something messy, new, exciting and completely nonsensical, he always caught himself going to see Sebastian.

"Why do you always look as if you just sacrificed a goat to the devil and drank it's blood in celebration whenever you're at my door?" Sebastian greets before walking back into his apartment, letting Kurt follow.

"How specific of a description." Kurt banters, but the words scare him a little because that's usually how he feels when he comes to see Sebastian. "Must be something in the air around this place." He decides with a shrug and that makes Sebastian laugh, something Kurt found himself taking as a great compliment. "Speaking of the devil," he begins, Sebastian's green eyes brightening in excitement for what Kurt will say next, "What are your thoughts on religion?" He asks, crossing his arms curiously after shedding his jacket and draping it over one of Sebastian's crisp white kitchen chairs.

"Its stupid." Sebastian replies, looking disappointed with the question as he grabs two beers from the fridge, sighing when Kurt scrunches his nose, and setting one on the counter before he goes to work on opening a bottle of wine.

"Good boy." Kurt smiles and sits in one of the chairs. "And god? Do you believe in god?"

"No, I'm not stupid." Sebastian scoffs and goes to the table to give Kurt his wine.

Kurt smiles again at the answer, quite sure that his crush on Sebastian was just officially cemented. "Isn't it too early to drink?" He frowns, realizing that it is only three in the afternoon.

"If you're a pussy."

"You're vial."

"You're a bitch. Why all the religion questions, anyway? Are you still sad?"

Kurt's eyes shoot down to stare through the glass table at his hands that are now toying with each other nervously. "I-I think that I'll always be sad." He says softly.

"Right. Stupid question." Sebastian chuckles awkwardly, but Kurt hardly hears it. His chest clenches, his mind goes fuzzy, and his breathing is beginning to make him feel like he's being drowned. "Hey!" He's suddenly pulled out of his thoughts with a hard kick to his shin. He looks up to yell at Sebastian when he's greeted with a face he's never seen on the boy before. Sebastian has his top lip pulled down over the left corner of his bottom, and the bottom pulled over the right corner of his top, his cheeks are sucked in, showing off his glorious cheeks bones, and his eyes are both turned down towards his nose.

"What are you doing?" Kurt asks in horror and Sebastian's eyes uncross to look at Kurt and he slowly sucks his lips into his mouth, biting down on them.

"I-uh...I don't know..." Sebastian stumbles over his words and Kurt is delighted when it dawns on him that Sebastian was trying to make him laugh. He suddenly erupts into high pitched giggles and covers his mouth with the back of his hand to hide with smile. "Y-yeah, that." Sebastian laughs.

"thank you." Kurt says when he get himself under control and he has to hold himself back from giving an audible 'aw' at the boy's sheepish smile. "Adam, he keeps telling me that it's all for a reason, that Finn's in heaven, looking down at me, just shit like that. It's getting on my atheist nerves." He explained finally.

"Well, what do you want him to tell you, babe?" Sebastian scoffs and takes a long sip of his beer. "That's what people do, it's to make you feel better. Not everyone is as honest as me, and you know it's one of the reasons I don't have many friends. He's trying to help."

"But believing in all that stuff is just...stupid, like you said."

"There are a lot of stupid things in the world, why get on someone's case over their religion? Who cares?" He shrugs and Kurt feels like a lost little boy again.

He stays with Sebastian to finish his wine but Sebastian has class soon after so they don't speak of much. He finds himself vaguely concerned that the boy is going to class with two beers down, but he's quite sure that if there is someone in control of their life, it's Sebastian Smythe.

Kurt finally enjoys some alone time, guilty that he hadn't until now, when he had promised his father that that's all he had wanted. He takes a bubble bath, works on some vanity related issues that he had been neglecting and makes Carmel Apple sugar cookies-Adam's favorite.

Kurt's surprised when he doesn't feel nervous in the least knocking on Adam's door after their big fight earlier, but he's just so comfortable with Adam that he knows the man would never be hurtful towards him.

"It's me!" He sings. "You're favorite Ohio boy!"

His smile falters when Adam answers, his face set into an unreadable expression.

"You are the most confusing person ever, do you know that?" He asks, still standing in the doorway, not letting Kurt inside. "You're so sweet and unsure and in need of guidance, and the second you're independent, icy, and-yes- selfish."

Kurt just stares up at him with wide eyes, unsure of what to say.

"I am sorry that your relationship with your high school sweetheart is going to shit, and I am so sorry that you have lost people that are close to you, but I will not be your pillow to cry on, and I will not be your punching bag." He goes on and either he has been hurt before or Kurt has been so awful to him that it is liberating for him to get this out. "I love you, Kurt Hummel. I love you as a friend-a best friend, and I'm sure I could love you as more, but I need to be respected."

"Adam, I-" Kurt begins, trying to reassure him that he has all of Kurt's love and respect, but he's shushed by a wave of Adam's hand.

"I kindly ask you to shut up for a moment." He says, but gives Kurt a second to override it, continuing when he doesn't. "I lost my father, Kurt. He died when I was lad, and sometimes I like to think that he's out there somewhere watching over me. I thought that you might like the same comfort."

Kurt eyes widen even more and he says nothing, just steps in and wraps his arms tightly around Adam's waist. "Sorry, so sorry, Adam. I didn't know, I was treating you like my friends treat me. I love you." He ranted. They stood like that for a while until Adam pulled back and took the container from Kurt's arm.

"These cookies." He mutters.

"Mmmhmm."

"Caramel apple?"

"Mmhm."

"We mustn't let them go to waste, come in."

They talk through the night about their deceased parents and the possibilities that they're 'shacking up' in heaven, and Kurt doesn't even care that it's something he doesn't believe in because it's funny and comforting to talk like that. They talk about things that Kurt should do now that the Adam's Apples hate him for not dating Adam, which the man swears he had nothing to do with. By the morning, Kurt is ready to see his friends again, he's decided he wants to start a band, and he is most likely head over heels in love with Adam. He kisses him goodbye, pleased when Adam lets him and makes his way home.

"Helllooo." He draws out the word as he enters the apartment.

"On the couch." Comes Santana's voice.

"Hey. How are you? Where's Rachel?" He asked, sitting next to her and placing a hand on her knee in a comforting way.

"I'm okay, I guess." She shrugs, placing her hand over his to give it a squeeze before slapping it away. "Rachel wants to spend a few more days at home." Kurt nods and they stay silent, the crime show rerun on television acting as a dull background noise to their thoughts.

Kurt contemplates telling her things that Adam had told him. Like that everything happens for a reason, and he's in a better place, but even though he understands it, that's not who he is. "I'm starting a band." He says suddenly, earning a confused look and another long moment of silence.

"We're starting a band, Hummel."

Kurt isn't ecstatic with their band members, but Santana's girlfriend is cute, and Starchild's kissing up to him did do wonders for his damaged ego. All and all he's quite happy with how life is turning out, and he's sure Adam will be too. He doesn't even stop home to change from his uniform before he's walking in the direction of Adam's place, as he gets him on the phone.

"Yeah, I don't know what I was worried about anyway, I mean who could steal the spotlight from me?" Kurt teased over the phone.

"Absolutely no one!" Adam answers with a scoff. "So, what's this Starchild look like? Will he make Blaine jealous?" He asks and Kurt smiles because he knows the true intention of the question.

"He's definitely a looker, but I think we're a tad too similar to go down that path." He promised.

"Well then, he's got nothing to worry about."

"Nothing at all."

"Are you staying over tonight."

Kurt smiles at the hope in the question and he's about to tell Adam that he's at his door when he realizes that this isn't Adam's door at all. "I uh...I don't know...let me call you back." He hangs up quickly and looks around, wondering why his legs had randomly led him to Sebastian's apartment building, but he goes in anyway. He rides up the elevator and goes to the man's door, knocking on a whim.

Sebastian is only wearing boxers when he answers and he has his wallet in his hands, counting money in the pocket before pulling it out. "Sixteen something, right?" He asks, finally looking up, his eyes widening when he sees Kurt. "Oh, it's you."

"Yeah, sorry." Kurt laughs, pressing his side into Sebastian's, expecting him to step aside.

"Uh, as much as I wouldn't mind a foursome, it took some convincing to get a threesome out of these guys, so..." He trails off, keeping a teasing edge to his voice, but his eyes were apologetic and a little shameful.

"Oh." Kurt says, wrapping his arms around himself. "Oh, I...I should have called." He gives a forced chuckle, wondering why this bothers him so much.

"Yeah, well...no worries." Sebastian smiles and pats Kurt's shoulder, running his hand down his bicep and giving an affectionate squeeze.

"Yeah, I'll just..." He mutters, using the appearance of the actual delivery boy to make his escape.

He was angry, confused and just hurt. He knew he wasn't supposed to be hurt by Sebastian having sex with boys, Sebastian wasn't his and he would never be his. He didn't even have any reason to be upset if Adam randomly decided to have a weird reluctant threesome with pizza, and he knew that with being engaged to Blaine he shouldn't even have protective feelings over anyone but him. He ended up walking home, deciding that the only thing he'd be doing that night was to Skype with Blaine, and when he felt a unexplained shiver on his walk home, he let himself think, just for a minute that it was Finn there, walking beside him.