That's right! I'm finally back! Ugh. That vacation was longer than I thought. Oh well, I'm back now!
"Aw shit." Herobrine muttered. "Really?! Why now?!"
"Yeah, daddy, your timing is just perfect." Kristina rolled her eyes. "Can't you kill us after we do this Minecraft Interviews thing?"
"Minecraft what now?" A dark voice replied.
"It's um, really fun. The readers of it dare or question everybody about something." Ashley stammered. "A-And if you stick around the readers might dare you to do something.* Oh, you should've been here for the last few chapters, we've been putting Herobrine and Steve through misery. As you can tell by his um, dress."
Red eyes actually looked at Herobrine from the shadows, and then a thundering laugh filled the forest.
"Yeah, I know, it's hilarious." Kristina grinned. Herobrine let out a breath; at least his embarrassment had basically just saved his life.
"So, you wanna hang around the Minecraft Interviews?" Ashley asked.
"Fine. But I'll kill everybody if I get bored." A figure with the height of an elephant appeared from the shadows and sat down casually at the seats, and almost instantly looked uninterested in the world around him.
"Um. Don't worry, we'll keep you...entertained?" Ashley muttered, staring at her paper.
"Shit. We're all gonna die." Herobrine muttered.
"Why?"
"Because you guys locked me up in freaking bedrock and acted like I was some accursed being from hell, (technically I am,) and then my sister's even worse, but then there's my dad...and we might as well be ants." Herobrine muttered.
"Eh, more like flies. They're more annoying...and disgusting." His father corrected.
"So, what exactly am I supposed to call you?" Ashley asked.
"Call me Zeus. It's not my real name, but it's just fun to say. Zeus, Zeus, Zeus!"
"Right. Okay then, Zeus." Ashley muttered, glancing at her paper. "Alright...oh, wonderful, gee, thanks, PotionMaster123." She sighed. "We all have to be in pain for ten seconds."
"Ooh, oh, I know how make this more fun!" A gigantic colorful wheel appeared from beside Zeus and he spun it. "First up, Steve!"
"Aw no..." The miner muttered.
The wheel slowly came to a stop, and the pointer ended up on 'ninja attack.' Ten ninjas appeared from nowhere and attacked Steve and Steve alone, and he was sent backwards, moaning in pain for ten seconds before the ninjas disappeared and Steve sat upright, as if shocked that he was no longer in agony.
"Next, Snow Golem!" Zeus spun it again, and it landed on 'lava-lanche'. This continued, Creeper getting of kittens attack him (to his misery), Enderman being stuck in the rain, Slime and Magma both meeting a clown, and if finally rolled over to Ashley, and her eyes widened. She found her worst fear on that wheel, and was sure it would land on it.
"Crap, crap, crap, no!" She squeezed her eyes shut. Then her heard the loud 'shing' of a sword, her head fell clean off.
After ten seconds, Ashley's head automatically reattached to her shoulders and she stood upright. The others got their pains, and then Ashley turned to her paper again. "Thank goodness that's over... alright, Wither, why on earth did you shoot your head?"
"...Well, I um, to freak people out? I don't know. It was kinda fun to see their faces." Wither shrugged.
"Herobrine, Electric Elements dares you to get all hyped up on caffeine."
Herobrine blinked. "Hyped up on what now?"
"Here, just have this." Ashley tossed something at him. He stared at the surprisingly delicious-smelling mixture.
"Is this poison or something?" He asked.
"You really think that the readers hate you that much?" Ashley gasped.
"They made me hug Steve. A long hug."
"Eh, fair enough." Ashley muttered. "Just freaking drink it."
"Ugh. Fine." Herobrine did so. "What is this, anyway?"
"Coffee. From Starbucks."
"Star what now?"
"It's a coffee place." Ashley rolled her eyes. "Anyway, we'll have to wait for it to kick in, but first..." She glanced at her paper again. "Alright guys, BlackDragon41 is back! 'Steve, you seem to have it bad a lot. Though my favorite is Herobrine, you're the second best. So, Ashley, you should give the miner a 'happy' shot." Ashley smiled. "I think this is gonna be ffffuuuunnn!"
"Is it gonna hurt?" Steve muttered.
"No, but the symptoms are..." Ashley stared at the paper. "Smiles, random fits of laughter, cravings for bizarre foods, a tolerance to most pains, strange behaviors, and creepy grins."
"Damn give it to me!" Steve exclaimed.
"Here." Ashley handed him the drink. He gulped it down and a weird look covered his face. "Alright, Enderman, how do you feel about not fitting through doors?"
"It's kinda...depressing. But hey, why be in some miner's home when I can hang out here?" Enderman shrugged.
"Spoken like a true...eh, I don't know. Enderman, I guess." Ashley shrugged. "Herobrine, here's a dare for ya. You gotta wear a shirt that says 'free hugs'."
"Ugh. These people really hate me." Herobrine sighed as the t-shirt was pulled over his head. Two seconds later, tiny baby creepers were surrounding him, screaming 'hug, hug, hug!'.
Creeper was laughing uncontrollably, just because of the look on Herobrine's face. Steve was as well. But then he didn't stop laughing. The miner just kept on laughing until it rang in everyone's ears.
"Um, right, I'm gonna spawn a Mooshroom real quick." Ashley was soon talking to a baby Mooshroom. "Hey, how do you feel about mushrooms growing on you? And why do you seclude yourself in mushroom biomes?"
"Wat's seclude mean?" Baby Mooshroom asked in the tiniest, cutest voice.
"It means to stay away from everyone else."
"Well, I sway away from dem becauze they scwary and I wanna be home with my mommy and mushrooms rawr cool." Baby Mooshroom replied.
"Aw, here, I'll send you back to your mommy." Ashley said. "Now," she looked at her paper again, "Steve, what would you say if almost all of the mobs and gods wanted to kill you? How does it make you feel?"
"Weeiiirrrddd." Steve muttered. "But really, I'd just throw sunshine at them and then dance on a rainbow with my grandma's underwear on my head. When I was a kid, I carried balloons in a bag and then I went into a cave and then a spider tried to kill me and then I just-" He did a front flip and landed on his face.
"Steve? You okay?"
"Me a what?" Steve climbed up a tree and jumped. "ME A BIRD!" He fell on his face again, jumped up, and tried again, all the while with a creepily large grin.
"Oh boy. This is gonna be a long chapter." Ashley sighed and spawned a Blaze. "This is from typ3 wr1t3r, who asks, Blaze, have you ever thought of making a Blaze rod into the shape of a minecart?"
Blaze's eyes widened and it began working hard on a Blaze rod.
"I can just see it now. The next update, 'Blaze minecarts'." Ashley rolled her eyes. "And the next two questions ask everyone why we haven't made trains or cars yet..."
"Heck, we don't make the stuff, Notch does. If we did, I'd have myself some arms!" Creeper exclaimed.
"Duuudde chill out, have a drink." Steve literally threw a cup full of rocks at him.
"Hey, hey, Steve, chill." Ashley stopped him. "Now, PotionMaster123 says... Iron Golem vs. Enderman, what would happen?"
Enderman stared at Iron Golem for a moment. "I'd probably teleport the heck out of there, fast. Dude, seriously, what do they feed you? Are you on steroids or something?!"
"Um, iron tastes really good if you mix it with some vines and fry it." Iron Golem shrugged. "Ooh, and a rose on top doesn't taste too bad, either."
"Well, 'you are what you eat'," Ashley quoted and spawned a villager, "Villager, why do you mean that 'hrrrnnnn' sound?"
Villager blinked. "Because hrrrnnn hrrn, suckers!" He ran away laughing like a maniac.
"...Okay?" Ashley stared at her paper again. "And this is for all my readers, I can't really just summon people from youtube. I've been watching, and yeah, I know Setosorcerer and Tobuscus and all that, but I can't do a very good impression of real people, though. Now, next question... from Andria, Steve, did you know that you are famous outside of Minecraft? You are in a lot of fanarts and fics."
"Like, wait, wait, waiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttt," Steve staggered backwards, grinning. "I'm flamous, guys! No, I'm freaking glamorous! The world rocks! Everything rocks! Let's have a party, with a big, big, big, big, big, big, water bottle that can hold a world of water and then we can drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and then we can put ketchup in it, and then we can keep drinking, and drinking, and drinking, and then we'll be just like-" Then he slammed a rock into his forehead and fell over. Then he jumped up, unharmed, and stared continuously at Enderman, who looked around nervously. "Ender eye..."
Ashley looked at the list of symptoms from the happy shot. "Smiles, check, random fits of laughter, check, tolerance to most pains, uh, check, bizarre food cravings..."
"Check." Creeper muttered.
"Ender eye..." Steve muttered and he lunged toward Enderman.
"Shit, shit, why me?!" Enderman muttered and teleported just before the miner reached him.
"Sparklies?" Steve stared at the purple confetti like sparkles that floated down for a second and then disappeared. "Where'd Endie go? Did he go to a party without me?" He looked hurt. "I wonder if he's having fun..." Then his face lighted up and he laughed until everyone was sure he was going to die from lack of oxygen, and his laughing turned to wheezing.
"Alrighty...'Ghast, do you get made fun of for being big? cough *fat* cough.'" Ashley read.
"I ate too many marshmallows." Ghast growled and Ashley watched as her paper shriveled up in his flames. "Great, thanks, Ghast. Now I gotta go grab another one." She sighed and walked away.
"Speaking of marshmallows, while she's gone, can you make some more?" Creeper asked.
"Sure!" Ghast grinned and did so.
"Well," Zeus said with a mouthful, "I can't blame you for eating so much of this stuff!"
Ashley came back with a new piece of paper. "Now, Andria wants to know, 'Blaze, can I borrow your minecart?'" Ashley asked.
Blaze growled. "Nether to the no!"
Steve grinned and stared into space. "The Nether is nice. And so are you guys. Like, everyone is so freaking awesome it's just like...im-freaking-possible!"
"That's it from Andria... next up, Fai and Butter, who says, 'Ghast, heck, you're my favorite, so you get to completely pulverize the one person you hate. Which had better be Steve.'" Ashley read.
Ghast grinned slightly and sighed. "Unfortunately, I can't summon all the Minecraft Players that exist and make them all explode. But I guess Steve will have to do."
"Thank goodness he's got that happy shot." Snow Golem muttered.
Five minutes later, Ashley ordered Ghast to stop, because Steve had noticeably stopped breathing. With Snow Golem's help, the burnt miner slowly opened his eyes and stared into space, at the clouds above him. "Pretty..." He muttered, and then fell back under.
Ashley winced. "His hangover is gonna be fun." She muttered sarcastically and glanced back at her paper again. "This is from ElrondlordofImladris, Skeleton, why do you always use a bow?"
"Are you kidding? What could be more awesome than a bow?!" Skeleton threw his head back and laughed.
"Creeper, are there any creepers named Cooper?" Ashley asked.
"Um, no."
"Enderman, is it true that Enderwomen are pink?"
"Nope. That would be kinda weird, though...I mean, what could be better than black if you're hunting down some unsuspecting Minecraft Player?" He shrugged.
"Right. Enderdragon, if you were starving, dying of hunger, and the only option you had was Steve, would you eat him?" Ashley asked.
"I don't know...I hear that miners tastes like coal. I don't like coal..."
"It helps if you boil it." Herobrine advised.
"I have an unanswered question, Enderdragon." Ashley reminded him.
"Um...well...I guess I would." Enderdragon shrugged.
"Alrighty...now, ElrondlordofImladris, in your question, 'Herobrine, are there really angles in minecraft?' I'm gonna hope you meant angels, and correct me if I'm wrong, but is that what you meant to ask? And Herobrine, what is your answer?"
"Yeah, there are angels, and damn they are just..." He shuddered. "Freaky."
"Yes, this coming from Herobrine." Snow Golem rolled his eyes. "Neexxxttt question.'
"Yay! Horse question!" Ashley took out the horse egg.
"Why's she so happy about a horse?" Zeus asked.
Steve chuckled and started singing. "SHE'S DA HORSE LOVA, DA HORSE LOVA, HERE IS DA HORSE LOVA, HERE IS DAT FREAK!"
"Hurtful!" Ashley looked offended. "...But true...ahem, uh, Horse, why are you so hard to tame?"
It neighed in response.
"Anyone speak horse?" Ghast asked.
"I do." Ashley was already replying to the horse. "That's very true. She said that 'well, what would you do if a horse jumped on your back and started to demand you walk forward?' So. Yeah." She looked at her paper again. "Oh. Lovely. So, that's it from ElrondlordofImladris. Next one from a guest, beware, you guys are gonna love this one, you guys have to either group kiss or battle free for all for a minute." She backed up and hopped up to a tree and hid until only her face was visible. "I'm just gonna be over here. You guys have fun..."
"I don't think so." Zeus literally picked her up by her hair and put her down with the rest of them. "Now get out a timer and set the minute."
Ashley sighed, took out a timer and muttered under her breath, "come on! I don't wanna die." And then announced, "minute started!"
Sixty seconds later, everyone sat down, out of breath. Creeper was trying to wipe the lipstick from his face before anyone else could see it.
"What the freak, Creeper?! Who was it?!" Ghast exclaimed. And everyone turned to him.
"Well, um..." His green face turned pink.
"I'm really, really sorry Creeper, I panicked, I mean, everyone was fighting and I thought I was gonna die... I do stupid things when I'm panicking." Ashley muttered.
"Um...it's okay...I guess?" Creeper replied.
Steve was grinning widely. "What the freak just happened a second ago, there were colors and someone was tickling my chest..."
Herobrine shook his head. "I'm surprised that guy is still alive, I hit him pretty hard."
"Pretty what now? Everything's pretty. Everything's really pretty. Everything's absolutely awesome!" Steve muttered before he fell over, unconsious.
"Herobrine, if he dies..." Ashley stared at him.
"What'll you do?" Herobrine grinned.
She grinned in response. "I'm sure the readers could come up with something. Now..." She looked at her paper again. "Herobrine, this is from Shade The Fox, 'if you asked (or demanded) I would become your servant in an instant. I just want to know are there any perks for submitting to your rule willingly but either way you would have my loyalty until the day I die.'"
Herobrine blinked. "I don't even know what to say... other than wow. I wonder...hey dad, is it possible to put my powers into a human?"
"Yes...though it would be a very long and torturing process..." Zeus shrugged. "My only condition is, if you do, you better tell me where so I can watch. Watching them twitch and scream in pain is so fun!"
"Alright. Now for the ones from Egyptian god5, Steve, does it hurt when you punch a tree?"
By that time, Steve was up and laughing uncontrollably. When he caught his breath he replied, "it feels like your hand just hit a gigantic spike and then it vibrates all across your body until it shakes your head and screws up your brain and makes you feel like your insides are burning." He grinned widely. "Look, I'll demonstrate!" And before anyone could stop him, (a certain white-eyed friend of ours was glad no one did,) Steve hit a tree with his face, and then spit out two teeth. "Yay! Toothfairy!" And then he fell over again.
"I'm really going to regret giving Steve that happy shot...uh, Egyptian god5 says, 'Enderman and Creeper, do you want me to hug you both?" Ashley asked.
"Hugs are cool. You know what's even better than hugs? Group hugs. (Hint hint. But make sure to keep me out of it. I don't wanna die.)" Creeper muttered.
"And heck yeah!" Enderman agreed.
"Ha, nice try." Ashley muttered. "These readers are merciless. Of course, I'm not really any better, now that I think back to some of my other stories..." She stared off into space. "Yeah, you guys are lucky these are just interviews."
"Ugh, isn't it painful enough? I can't even imagine your stories." Ghast rolled his eyes.
"I'm getting bored...can I kill someone or something?" Zeus groaned like a two-year-old.
"Um, I'd prefer you don't..." Ashley stared back at her paper. "Spider, you have to drink this and then Steve, you read this to tell him what's in it."
"Oh no. First it's dares and now we got to drink something disgusting? This is just like Cave Spider's 'sleepover party' that lasted a week!" Spider groaned.
"Hey, I had to do something before I died of boredom." Cave Spider defended.
"Yes, but I doubt you really needed to dare me to freaking make out with a stone block. And then marry it. And then..." Spider shuddered and didn't finish.
"No, I didn't really need to, that was just for pictures. Ya know, future amusement. You did it so convincingly though, I seriously found myself wanting to be that gray block." Cave Spider shook his head.
"Um. Awkward." Spider muttered.
"Alrighty...Herobrine, when you take over, will you make Creeper have arms?" Ashley asked, while Creeper looked at the white-eyed freak hopefully.
"Probably, yeah. I mean, what's the use of a slave that doesn't have arms?" Herobrine replied.
"You think I'm useless?!" Creeper held back the urge to explode in his face.
"Well, I-"
"Dude, don't finish that sentence. Please. I don't want people dying." Ashley glanced at her paper again and sighed. "And yes, the next question is really helpful. Um, Creeper, why do you not have arms?"
Creeper sizzled in anger. "HOW THE HECK SHOULD I KNOW?!"
Moment later, Steve was crying. "Creeper, no, no, no! Come back, come back to me! Please, don't go, don't die!"
"Steve, he's not really-"
"Sh." Herobrine placed his hand over her mouth. "This is embarrassing for him. And he's all drunk with that happy shot thing. Let him keep talking!"
"Creeper! Why?! Why did you have to explode?! You may think I'm evil but I'm really just scared of you and then you explode and I freak out and... why?! Why, Creeper, why?!"
"Steve, I'm right here-" Creeper began, who had respawned near them, before Herobrine covered his mouth too.
"Let him keep talking!"
"And I really like everybody and I think that Ashley and Kristina are freaking gorgeous and Zeus scares the hell out of me and I really like marshmallows and I wanna go dance in the rain with Ashley and then kiss her and then I'd just explode like Creeper and then I'd go where he goes and then I'd be his best bud forever with all the cute kittens and then we'd hug them forever and ever and-" He broke off, half sobs and half laughing, picturing the cats hugging him.
Creeper quickly wiped at a tear before anyone saw it.
"Wow." Ashley muttered. "We should seriously give this happy shot thing to someone else. Well, maybe not a happy shot, but like to a point where they have to state at least three of their embarrassing secrets or something. Hint hint, readers!"
"Dude, it's okay! We're here, and Creeper's okay!" Enderman tried to calm Steve down.
He blinked and stared off into space. "He...he's what?" He looked up and saw the green thing and hugged it until he was pushed off because Creeper's face was turning purple from lack of air.
"Alrighty guys, guess who's back. Luna M. Moon. And she says..." Ashley stared at her paper and read from it. "Herobrine, do you know about the other cps like Slenderman and Ben?"
"Ugh. Yes." Herobrine rolled his eyes. "Both are so annoying. I mean, scaring the heck out of people is my job, hello! Slenderman's really easy and fun to insult, though. Ben is just weird."
"Agreed." Ashley muttered. "Also, Spider, you have to drink this and then Steve, you read this to tell him what's in it."
"Oh no. First it's dares and now we got to drink something disgusting? This is just like Cave Spider's 'sleepover party' that lasted a week!" Spider groaned.
"Hey, I had to do something before I died of boredom." Cave Spider defended.
"Yes, but I doubt you really needed to dare me to freaking make out with a stone block. And then marry it. And then..." Spider shuddered and didn't finish.
"No, I didn't really need to, that was just for pictures. Ya know, future amusement. You did it so convincingly though, I seriously found myself wanting to be that gray block." Cave Spider shook his head.
"Um. Awkward." Spider muttered.
"Come on, drink the potion already!" Ashley rolled her eyes.
"Ugh." Spider groaned and did so before he slowly disappeared, and the potion just remained floating. "Bleh! What's in this?!"
Steve read from the paper. "Toasted and burnt pieces of an invisibility cloak, lollipops crushed and mixed in, sugar, a lot of sugar... food coloring, cookie dough, and... fried, dyed, and mixed in spider eye."
Spider threw the invisibly potion on the ground and it shattered into a thousand pieces before he began crying. "Why me?!"
"It's okay, it's okay, bud." Skeleton comforted him, (after he found his shoulder) as did Cave Spider.
"I'm a freaking cannibal now! I hope you're happy!" Spider sobbed. "I'm a freaking cannibal."
"No, you're not, it was like one sip, you're fine-"
"I'm a freaking cannibal!"
"Okay, okay! You're a freaking cannibal." Cave Spider backed off.
A few minutes later, Spider reappeared, the potion having warn off, and he had managed to stop crying and just muttered to himself.
"Alright... Skeleton, why are you an archer?" Ashley asked.
"Because that's what I chose." Skeleton shrugged. "I like bows and arrows. You can attack things from far away so you can kill it before it gets to you. You should've seen how annoyed some of them are, the freaks that tried to kill me just got shot backwards so many times."
"Been there, done that." Ashley muttered.
"What?" He asked.
"What?" She asked in the same tone before quickly changing the subject. "Anyway, now here's one from Annalee. Why do mooshrooms have mushrooms on their back?" She stared into space for a moment. "That's kinda like asking why Creepers don't have arms, or why Enderman can teleport. Just because. I'm not gonna spawn one because I'd get that answer...so...next, from a Guest, Herobrine, you have to hug Steve for a minute, and if you're not man enough to do it, you get to eat a hundred pieces of broccoli shoved down your throat."
"Can we just skip all this and go straight to the broccoli?" Herobrine begged instantly.
"Nope. Now man up and do it, suckers." Ashley ordered.
Herobrine remembered the disgusting taste of broccoli and forced himself to hug Steve, who was muttering to himself about how happy he was to have friends.
"And you're like, the scariest one, like really, but still epic, and then-" Steve laughed constantly, then suddenly stopped and fell asleep. Sucking his thumb.
"Who else thinks we should make him eat broccoli? Since Steve fell asleep before the minute was up?" Ashley asked.
"Hey! That's not fair!" Herobrine exclaimed. "Go to the next question!"
"Fine." Ashley sighed, disappointed. "Now from Secret MC Master. Creeper, what do you eat that make you explode?"
"Well...nothing, really. We don't really need to eat..."
"Steve, when you first came in, if you never found diamond, then how did you have a diamond block?" Ashley asked.
"Well...I may have gotten it from...a friend." Steve muttered, blush on his face. "I-I think she's a friend, anyway..."
"She?" Ashley raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah. Really pretty, really annoying, and almost always has some kind 'practical joke'," he did some air quotes, "to play on me. The last one was seeing how long I could scream like a little girl when I thought I was gonna die."
Ashley remained silent a moment. "...What does she look like?"
"Red hair, blue eyes, really looks like she's starving herself..." Steve muttered.
"Oh, really? That's interesting. What's her name?"
"Um...uh...like, Emma or Emily or something?"
Ashley burst out laughing. "Now that's just insulting. Can't even remember my name. It's Ashley, oh great and powerful Stevie." She did a little bow.
"Don't call me that! I told you, I hate it when you do that!"
"Whatever you say, Stevie."
"Ugh."
"By the way, I'm not that skinny!" Ashley exclaimed.
"Yes, you are." Cave Spider remarked.
"Now then, back to the Interviews," Ashley glanced at her paper again.
"Wait a minute! Give us some details!" Kristina demanded.
"Like what?"
"How long have you known each other? Are you dating or something? And you tried to kill Steve before?!" Herobrine demanded. "My respect for you is growing."
"No, I didn't try to kill him, he was just being dramatic." Ashley rolled her eyes. "I was just pretending to be Herobrine, and no, we're not dating, we're related." Ashley replied.
Everyone gasped.
"But you don't like anything like him!" Snow Golem said.
"Thank goodness." Ashley muttered.
"I heard that!" Steve glared at her, before she punched him in the stomach.
"Ahem. Questions." She looked at her paper again. "By the way, Secret MC Master, I need to know who you're asking the question to, otherwise I can't really ask it. I'm going to ask the few I can tell, though. Enderman, who is Enderia?"
"The queen of Endermen, duh." Enderman replied. "Although she might be stepping down from the throne, (cough cough, finally,) because she's about to die, and then they'll just randomly select someone else to be queen or king."
"Um...what the freak..." Ashley read off her paper. "If a cave spider and a spider have kids, what is the offspring?"
"Wanna find out?" Spider grinned at Cave Spider.
"Nether to the no! You did not just go there. Can someone give me a sledge hammer or something? Like now?"
"Please, allow me," Zeus grinned and grabbed Spider by one of his legs, held him up, and then dropped him. He fell and only had half a heart left.
"Okay guys, no murdering please," Ashley muttered, "Herobrine and Steve, I really don't wanna do this, but um, you two get to have a free for all battle..."
"Wait, what're we doing?" Steve muttered, just before he got punched in the stomach by Herobrine. He doubled over before falling on the very diamond block Ashley had given him, and remained there, not a breath in his chest.
"Wow. I think I might've killed him. Because of the happy shot, he wouldn't have felt it, (as much) but it should've killed him." Herobrine muttered. "I'm not sure whether to celebrate or run for my life..." He was glancing worriedly at the fact that just about everyone looked like they were about to kill him.
"Dang it, Herobrine, if he's dead, I swear, I'll make you mortal, and then have knives stab you a thousand times as you hang, the rope having fire on it!" Ashley said through gritted teeth.
Kristina took one look at Steve, and then at Herobrine, and then mouthed, 'run'.
Herobrine didn't need much persuasion.
"Shit, shit, somebody help!" Herobrine cried, who was tied up to a post.
"Alright, got the hanging post, now all we need is something to light it on fire...and a lot of knives..." Ashley muttered. "I wonder..."
"Dammit, you weren't kidding, nether to the no, she wasn't kidding!" Herobrine's voice was becoming hoarse from screaming. "Crap, this is what it feels like to be mortal?! Gosh you guys are weak."
"Correction, you are weak." Ashley muttered.
"Come on, Ashley, look! He's breathing again! See?! See?!"
"No he's-" Ashley watched in amazement as Steve's chest moved. "Oh thank goodness. Dang it, now what am I gonna do with this hanging thing? Eh, I'll keep it, why not?" She sighed and untied Herobrine.
"He's alive, I think, but he's not gonna wake up for a while." Iron Golem muttered.
"Well...I guess that means I can only finish the chapter with things that don't involve Steve. Which kind of sucks, since some of them sounded really fun... except this one when they said 'Herobrine, feed off of Steve.'"
"Dang, that would've been fun." Herobrine muttered. Ashley glared at him. "I-I mean, sheesh, are these people crazy or what?"
"Ooh, but on this one, there was supposed to be a really epic fight, Herobrine vs. me, Steve, and the reader. Dang. Well. I guess we can just skip to the part when he loses and he has to french kiss Jessica." Ashley grinned.
"Oh god. No, no! Come on, there wasn't even a fight, that doesn't count!" Herobrine exclaimed.
"Yes, it does, since, ya know, you almost killed my cousin and all, before you had your powers taken away, so..." Ashley grinned.
"This is gonna be fun. And you know there's only one way to summon an angel." Kristina grinned. "Lie on the ground and scream 'demon' until the ugly thing appears far too late to save anyone's life. I mean, really, what do they do? Sit on their backs until they're sure I've eaten their soul, and then they come to watch me laugh and disappear? I mean, really."
"Guys, guys, this is not fair-!" Herobrine was cut off when Kristina screamed 'demon' as loud as she could. Then everyone hid, and watched as Herobrine groaned when Jessica appeared.
"Oh no, it's you." She muttered before flying down to him. "Were you the one calling for help, or was that just your pathetic sister scaring the nether out of you again?"
"Um...no, no, it was me." Herobrine stammered. "I just...um...wanted to s-see you..."
"Yup. You still have a girly voice." Jessica muttered. "What do you want, 'Hero'?"
"I...just...um...see, the thing is- I didn't really, there's actually... someone's..." Herobrine gave up and french kissed her.
"Herobrine...what the freak..." She narrowed her golden eyes at him, but she was grinning.
"Um...I don't even really know...so..." Herobrine muttered. He looked surprised at himself that he had kissed her, which Jessica assumed was the case, but he was really surprised than when he got the 'happy fuzzies' again he didn't absolutely hate them. Curse mortality. He thought.
"You know, you're really, really, really, really, really weird..." Jessica muttered and smiled, before she kissed him again. "I like that." And then she disappeared into the sky.
Kristina was laughing at him before he even had a second to recollect himself.
"Can we please just get along with this thing already?!" Herobrine growled.
"Right, this is for everyone, from AxleMC131, who says, have you guys ever met any creatures from other mods?" Ashley asked.
"I met this Pokemon thingy... it was all green and it said it's name a thousand times. Which I found creepy, so I just kinda left." Snow Golem muttered.
"Ooh, I met a tiny bunny!" Zeus grinned. "It was so pretty!"
"I once saw this Ogre thing." Kristina added. "Yuck. I don't think I've ever hated a soul so much. And I'll eat a zombie's soul, so."
"Alright, all you guys from the Nether, is the Nether really a separate dimension? 'I've heard rumors that the nether is actually below the bedrock layer of the Overworld, but I don't know if that's true or not?'"
"It's not a separate dimension, just a separate world. A dimension is like a mix of multiple worlds...what was our dimension called, again?" Pigman asked.
"Minolatosis, or Minecraft, as you guys know it." Ghast replied.
"Cool. Are there any other worlds in Minecraft?" Ashley asked.
"Well, there is-y the one-sy from mods." Magma replied.
"Like that creepy place with the fabric stuff and the black wall-eye things that open their one eye and then shoot you somewhere else?" Ashley shuddered.
"That's one of them."
"Alright..." Ashley read off her paper. "And it looks like we have a trivia quiz someone else created! Epic! I'll go ahead and PM you on that." Ashley grabbed a laptop out of nowhere and started typing. "Annnddd done! Now..." She grinned. "It looks like you would've had to face Jessica anyways, Herobrine, it's one of the dares."
"Ugh. I told you they hate me! I mean, seriously, why? What did I do to them?!" Herobrine groaned.
"Nothing. That's the point." Ashley rolled her eyes. "It's just to annoy the heck out of you. Now, Enderman, your dare, from LikeNotUnstable is you can't pick up a dirt block for a whole day."
"Not even the ones with the flowers on it?!" Enderman pouted.
"Not even them." Ashley replied, and then read her paper again. "Oh. Wonderful." She sighed. "We get to go to group therapy."
"Wait, we're going to what?"
"Um, hey, Zombie, do ya wanna hug?" Ashley asked.
"Hug? What's hug?" Zombie asked.
Creeper, Ghast, and Enderman gasped.
"That is the saddest question I have ever heard." Creeper announced, and Ghast nodded.
"Hug...is that new brain type?" Zombie asked.
"Now, it's not. It's when someone wraps their arms around you and you wrap around them." Ashley replied.
"And then bite their neck?" Zombie blinked.
"No, no biting necks."
"Oh."
Ashley glanced at her paper again and smiled. "Sure LikeNotUnstable, you can build a resort here when we're done with this thing...(whenever that will be, got so many freaking dares and questions to answer...) that would be awesome! Maybe the mobs could all stay there until I come up with a sequel!"
"There's gonna be a sequel?!" Enderman exclaimed.
"I haven't decided exactly what it's gonna be, but yes, I'm one hundred percent sure there's gonna be a sequel." Ashley grinned.
"Please, please, please no!" Spider got on his knees and started begging.
"Pfft, like I'm gonna go." Ghast rolled his eyes.
"Oh, but you are. You all are." She snapped her fingers, and Creeper was teleported into the distance, about to fall to his doom, when he was teleported back, without a scratch, when Ashley snapped her fingers again. "Now... 'All the slightly to very insane take over the world types I have a nuke that I made in my secret lab I am putting it in this chest whoever gets to it first gets to keep it.'" Ashley read off her paper.
"Ooh, heck yes!" Kristina immediately ran forward, Herobrine following close behind.
"Ugh. Weaklings." Zeus groaned to himself. "Why the heck do they need a nuke when they should be working on their powers to the point where they can make one appear? Or more?" He chased after them, grabbed them by the legs, and basically threw the two siblings back to the Interview.
"Baby Sheep," Ashley turned to the animal, who hadn't breathed or blinked since Kristina had told her to 'stay', "Can LikeNotUnstable pet you?"
Baby Sheep grinned. "If they want to die, why should I care?"
"Um. Ahem, yeah, Kristina, the same person says that you wouldn't like their soul, because their soul is cold and bitter like badly made iced coffee."
"Iced coffee?" Kristina repeated. "Whatever. If I was starving, pfft, like I could care. And hey, it's the cold and bitter ones that I'd probably be more likely to sell to Herobrine so he can some slaves."
"Hey, I don't need your help!" Herobrine exclaimed.
"Oh yes, you've just been doing a fine job by yourself." Kristina rolled her eyes.
"Now, we have to skip one that would put Herobrine and Steve on a double date, (insert sad face here) because Steve isn't waking up anytime soon. But hey, maybe I'll save that one for the next chapter." Ashley grinned. "Now, this one's from Kiu1q2w who asks, 'Again, my question, Squid, why are you so amazing?!'" Ashley sighed. "Alright, alright, you got it out of me. I'm not supposed to tell anybody, but I hear that they were supposed to have their own game, but they ended up being put with Minecraft." Ashley looked at her paper again. "Herobrine, you get to get hyper so we can see what you do!"
"Are you kidding?! These guys haven't had enough yet?! Their hunger for someone else's pain for their own amusement is like a bottomless pit." Herobrine scowled.
"Oh, you haven't seen the half of it." Zeus groaned. "Just wait till you're powerful enough to go to Earth and watch the idiots."
"Come on, shut up and drink this."
"Hey! Why didn't the 'coffee' from 'stardollar' make me hyper?" Herobrine asked, taking the weird pink drink that Ashley gave him.
"It's Starbucks. Um...oh, maybe the blood you drank from the villager earlier cancelled it out or something? Which, by the way, disgusted me." Ashley added.
"Yeah, that's what I was hoping." Herobrine grinned.
"Come on, drink it!"
"Ugh." Herobrine sighed and did so, afterwards tossing the glass cup and it shattered on some tree. He blinked for a moment, and then his eyes widened and he grinned. Then he began shaking rapidly before he leaped forward and sucked the life from an unlucky chicken, and then did the same thing to any animal he encountered.
"Aw crap." Kristina sighed. "Feeding frenzy. That can't be good." She and Zeus were up before the others could blink. Not long later, they were both holding Herobrine back, who was snapping and growling at everyone else.
"Well. Um. That was...interesting." Ashley decided it was a safe word. "Now guys, I think that sums it up for this chapter... and no, I don't have another member of the vampire slash demon slash whatever heck those psychopath-" She just then caught Zeus's, Herobrine's, and Kristina's cold glares. "Nice, awesome, totally not weird, family joining us. And I doubt there will be after now. Also, although I hate to limit you guys, I'm not gonna do things like videos, putting someone from into the fanfic, (for reasons such as everyone else would want to be in it, causing chaos for me and chaos for the whole thing,) I'm not gonna get mods, if I skip a question you ask it's because it breaks one of the rules or I'm just not sure how to do it without being totally weird, or I might skip it if it's a repeated question, um...what else... oh, and please, let's not kill off our characters, the dares can get funny, but not totally dangerous, m'kay?"
"Too late." Iron Golem muttered, looking at Steve.
"No kidding." Snow Golem agreed.
"Hey. You two." Ashley pointed to Iron Golem and Snow Golem. "I don't know much about you guys... you don't have much questions, often, hmm?"
"No, no, please don't!" Snow Golem begged.
"Crap, we're gonna be the targets for the next chapter." Iron Golem whispered.
"I know! Now shh! Run on three?" Snow Golem said at the same volume.
"Three!" They both screamed, turning around and running faster than any of them had ever ran.
"Kristina?" Ashley asked.
"Absolutely!" She jumped up, Zeus holding up Herobrine, who was now tiring from his constant and useless kicking against his father.
"Just don't hurt them!" Ashley felt inclined to scream after the demon girl, which she did. Kristina soon came back with the two golems, who were tied and trying desperately to break free.
"Now, one last thing." Ashley said. "I'm sure you guys already think I'm lame, but here's a warning, that feeling's about to grow; I just realized that to edit a story, you don't edit the documents on 'Doc Manager', you have to go to 'Manage Stories' and do it on there. So, , that is why your name is not there, because I saved it on my document and I forgot to go back and edit it before I posted it, and I edited the document after I posted, figuring it would edit, but I didn't know how to actually do it... so. Dang, I wish there was a manual for ."
"How do you know there's not?" Zeus asked.
"That's true, I don't really read anything that the website pops up. (Just like the 'terms and conditions', like anyone has time for that.) Ahem, anyway, cya guys! Give me some time to go back and edit the past chapters, m'kay? M'kay. Buh-bye!"
"Anndd cut." Tyler announced. "Ashley, you are so, so weird."
"Gee, when did ya realize that?"
*You guys had better keep Zeus entertained, but don't even try to hurt him, he has a temper...
Alright. I'm done! Finally done torturing you. (For now.) Now go!
-ihearthorses6000