Steve:
I woke up, at first, too nothing but the dark. It got rather boring, after a while, staring into nothing, waiting for anything to happen. Just when I was about ready to scream until something new happened, light came in, alarmingly fast and annoyingly bright. Then the colorful light began to take the shape of the clouds, of the trees, and my ears picked up Ashley's voice.
"Is he waking up?"
Then Herobrine's. "Starting to. Though, by the looks of him, it's not gonna be fun for him."
"Damn you, Herobrine." She growled. "Damn me, too. Ugh, why didn't I stop you?"
I finally found my own voice. "Chill out, Crazy Cat."
"Steve!" I finally was able to focus on her face, and found her grinning, too happy that I was awake to be annoyed at my nickname that she hated. "And I told you never to call me that!" Or not.
"Yeah, I know." I chuckled, but it hurt to do so. Holy crap, everything hurts... "What the heck happened?"
"Don't worry about it. Steve, how do you feel?" Ashley asked.
"Like a boulder hit me in the stomach twenty times while a knife went through my forehead, while someone else shot some kind of numbing potion into my arms and legs." I replied.
Herobrine grinned.
"Wipe that smirk off your face, jerk. Steve, do you remember what happened?" Ashley asked.
"Um, there was a dare..." I tried to remember, and then my head hurt. Herobrine. "Oh." I glanced around, noticing the hanging station fitted out, with a torch next to it, with a bag full of something sharp. I glanced at Herobrine. "Loss of immortality, hanging with burning ropes, and knives?" I guessed.
Herobrine winced and nodded.
"Yeah, used something like that on me once. Don't worry, she's more crazy the more you get to know her, so after this interview thing you'll be able to get as far away as possible." I reassured him.
"Thank freaking goodness." Herobrine muttered.
"Steve! I am not that crazy!" Ashley said. "Besides, don't lie to him, you know that once you become a character in one of my stories, interview or not, you'll never escape me. Just ask her." She jabbed her thumb in the direction of the forest, where two blue eyes were peeking out from the shadows. Soon an entire body appeared, and there stood a white Nightfury.
"Whoa. Wait. Is that...?" Steve's eyes widened. "It is! But it's white...?"
"Just a story I'm working on. Once I finish the first chapter, I'll post it. Fanfic of How To Train Your Dragon! Ooh, it's gonna be so much fun! Right, Krystal?" Ashley grinned.
"Pfft. Fun. Sure. Yes, torturing me and my father, who happens to be-"
"Shh! No spoilers! Now shut your toothless mouth and go find Nicor and practice the scene where you yell at him because he's a traitor." Ashley ordered.
"Ugh. Fine. Although, by the way, you got a cute little group over here."
"Cute?! I AM THE ALMIGHTY ZEUS! BOW BEFORE ME!" Zeus demanded.
"Uh, how about no." Krystal replied. "Cya suckers, gotta go break Nicor's heart for the thirty millionth time."
"Buh-bye! Now, onto the Interview!" Ashley stared at her paper. "Thanks, PotionMaster123, I think we're good, now...um, Zeus, are you Zeus from the Myth?"
"Pfft, you mean with all the stupid thunder and stuff? No! I mean, why would I even have thunder and lightning and crap like that? That's just stupid, really really stupid, I mean, really, come on-"
"Daddy, you're not fooling anyone." Kristina said.
"Oh...dang it." Zeus muttered.
"Wait, so are the other Gods real?" Ashley asked.
Zeus frowned. "Unfortunately, yes. Gosh, some of them are so annoying, though. And trust me, I would more than gladly exchange my job for the one Hades has, but no! No, it's 'too important' and I'm 'not trustworthy' and I'm just over here like, who can be so freaking bad that they don't deserve to go to Hell?! I mean, really."
"Agreed." Ashley read her reviews. "Yay! We all get enchanted relax potions!"
"Nether to the yes." Steve muttered. A white potion appeared before each and every one of them, and they all drank it.
"And starting next chapter, maybe I'll add in some OCs. Maybe you guys could just tell me what you want your OCs to look like and then how they act and whatever, but they would be asking your questions, instead of all the readers asking the OCs questions. But, I will PM you guys on a few questions for your OC and then I'll just put that in the story. M'kay? M'kay." Ashley sighed. "I think I'm going to regret that..."
"Oh, I know you're going to regret that." Steve rolled his eyes.
"Oh well." Ashley turned back to her paper. "And now questions from crazykatz430. Pigman, why do your budder swords never break?"
"Because it's budder! It can't break!"
"But when I use gold-I mean butter, in Minecraft it breaks after two swings, whether it's a sword or a pickaxe or whatever." Ashley said.
"Duh. It hasn't gone through the Cycle of Butter yet!" Pigman rolled his eyes.
"And why do you take your children out to fight Minecraft Players?" Ashley asked.
"Best way to learn is the hard way. Plus, it's not like we're leaving them completely unprotected." He held up his own budder sword.
"Snow Golem, 'what in the nether do you even do?'" Ashley quoted.
Snow Golem shrugged. "Chill out, where it's nice and cool. And hide from Minecraft Players. It's almost impossible to find me unless I want to be found."
"Alrighty, that's it from crazykatz430, next up is...AnakTebet." Ashley said. "Zeus, who is Kristina's and Herobrine's mother? In other words, your wife?"
Zeus growled under his breath. "I knew they were gonna get around to that."
Kristina was grinning. "Well, Daddy? Tell 'em who Mommy is!"
"Well, she's...um, not exactly what you would call immortal..." Zeus muttered. "She's from your guy's world."
"You guys mixed the two worlds? That could lead to a world break..." Ashley narrowed her eyes.
"Oh, it was years ago, and because I didn't wanna put her through pain I didn't make her immortal, so, she died, quite a long time ago." Zeus replied.
"And? A name?" Ashley asked.
"Tania."
"Okay, Wither Boss, aka Wither Skeleton, why do you have three heads? Well, that is like asking why Enderman can teleport, or why diamond is blue." Ashley shrugged.
"Actually, there is a different answer to that..." Wither Skeleton winced. "The two extra heads weren't actually mine..."
"How is that even possible? What'd you do, kill another Wither Skeleton and then just..."
"Stick 'em on my shoulders." Wither Skeleton shrugged. "Kind of to scare the heck out of Minecraft Players, as well as other Wither Skeletons. Because whoever has the more heads is more dangerous."
"Got it." Ashley spawned a Silverfish. "Why don't you drop anything when you die?"
The Silverfish squeaked.
"Oh. Right." Ashley said. "He said that you should ask Notch, because how the heck is he supposed to know that, if he's dead?"
Silverfish squeaked again and walked away.
"Enderman, choose, one hundred blocks of dirt or one block of diamond?" Ashley asked.
"Hmmm...it depends. Do the blocks of dirt have grass and a flower on it? Because then definitely the dirt..." Enderman replied.
Ashley grinned as she read off her paper. "Oh, HHeerroobbrriinnee!"
"That can't be good." Herobrine turned to run, but Zeus grabbed him.
"Oh Hero! You get to have a truth shot! You go unconscious and tell the group about a few truths you hid!" Ashley grinned. "And don't worry, I'm planning on keeping the recipe, so I can make it again and use it on all of you!"
"Crap. Crap, crap no!" Herobrine struggled, but Zeus grabbed the drink and poured it down his throat, and plugged his nose so he had to swallow in order to breathe. Then the white eyed monster fell, and began talking in his sleep.
"Dang, where's a camera when I need one?" Kristina sighed.
"Steve's mother isn't dead." He muttered.
"Mom's not what?!" Steve exclaimed.
"Aunt Susan's been okay this whole time?!" Ashley gaped.
"I'm scared of the color pink."
"Duh." Kristina rolled her eyes.
"I stole the Emerald of Time." Herobrine muttered.
"I knew it!" Kristina and Zeus said at the same time.
"When we were kids, I stole Kristina's favorite toy and said I didn't know where it was."
"Dang I hate this guy!" Kristina muttered. "I knew that he had something to do with Bobo!"
Herobrine then jerked upwards, and he was wide awake. He glanced at everyone's expressions. Kristina irritated, Ashley shocked, Steve with a glare cold enough to freeze the sun, and Zeus mostly had a plain face, except his white eyes, which was what really made Herobrine turn around and run. Of course, it was rather pointless, and Zeus just grabbed him by the hair.
"Where's the Emerald of Time?!" Zeus exclaimed.
"I don't have it!" Herobrine squirmed.
"Don't lie, unless you're in the mood to be killed! I heard you! You stole it."
"I did! I did, I stole it! But I don't have it! I hid it in my bag and I looked back to get it and it has a hole in it! You can look!" Herobrine said.
Zeus grabbed Herobrine's black bag and stared at a football sized hole in it. "You lost it?! You idiot! That Emerald controls everything!"
"I-I know." Herobrine had been flung to the ground, but he didn't dare move an inch.
Thunder roared in the sky. "That Emerald can destroy everything! And you just lost it!"
"Shit." Herobrine muttered, scooting away just in time to avoid being shocked full of lightning. "Shit, I don't wanna die!"
"You should've thought of that before you stole the Emerald of Time." Kristina shook her head as if he were a child being spanked.
"Guys! What's the Emerald of Time?!" Ashley called over the thunder and lightning.
"Oh, you know, just the most powerful object in existence. It can let you go back in time. Many want to use it so that they can take over Minecraft much easier." Kristina shrugged. "And daddy's a little obsessed with it. Made it his job to guard it, too."
"I don't have it, I swear." Herobrine muttered.
"I know that you idiot." Zeus growled. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have an emerald to go find."
Herobrine sighed with relief.
"Kristina," Ashley glanced back at her paper, grinning, "you have to kiss Steve on the cheek. Not aloud to do any soul sucking or anything, and if you do, well, you saw what I was gonna do to Herobrine."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever." Kristina rolled her eyes. "Over here, Stevie pie!"
"Ugh." Steve sighed. "Why is it always me?!"
"I don't know. I really think they want you dead... for whatever reason." Ashley shrugged. "Someone did try to help out, though."
"Well, it worked. For a little while, anyway." Steve shrugged. Between this time, Kristina went over and kissed him.
"Alright, this is from WandererRonan, Zeus, I think you'll like this one, Kristina and Herobrine get to fight." Ashley said.
"Yes!" Kristina grinned. "Can I kill him, daddy?"
"No, that pleasure's mine. Just beat him up a bit. Show 'em how immortals fight!" Zeus grinned.
"Okay, daddy!" Kristina jumped towards her brother, leaping over thirty feet to reach him. He held out his fist and it collided with her chest, and then they both fell backwards.
"What do you know, that almost tickled." Kristina chuckled. "You're getting stronger, I suppose?"
Herobrine rubbed his fist. "You haven't seen anything yet, demon freak."
"Well, I wanna see, then, vampire boy."
They clashed again, and this time, Kristina was sent backwards, while Herobrine struggled to stand.
"Wow." Kristina muttered, rubbing her forehead. Then she fell over, and Herobrine almost wanted to do the same, but then she jumped up and tripped him, before the white eyed terror could blink. Then she simply stood on his chest.
"Checkmate." Kristina grinned, out of breath.
"Nope." Herobrine flung her upwards, at least three hundred blocks into the sky, and then she landed on her feet, making a dent in the ground.
"Alright, guys. Let's call it there, I wanna get through this." Ashley looked at her paper. "Kristina, you get to have a soul cage and soul trapper from Hexxit. Um, please don't use them until the interviews are over, thank you."
"Aw. Not fair." Kristina sighed.
"Um, and this reviewer wants to give me a hand held infinite Electricity Rocket launcher Chock full of anti matter missile..." Ashley stared at it. "Um...I don't really know how to use this thing...I mean, I only played Voltz like once, so...oh, and I forgot, I still have an epic world on there..."
"It'll take that, before you shoot someone's head off." Steve took it from her.
"Good idea." Ashley muttered and then grinned. "Herobrine. You get a happy shot!"
"Aw no." Herobrine stared with misery at the drink. "I hate this world." And he figured that if he drank it really fast, the effects would go away faster, but it did the opposite. "Whoa..." He held his head. "T-The happy fuzzies are back! Why are they back?!" He fell to the ground, holding his chest, and occasionally twitching. "So...happy...must...not...sing...!"
"Next up, typ3 wr1t3r says, 'Blaze, do you wanna be my train-spotting pal?'"
"Heck to the yes!" Blaze grinned.
"Snow Golem, can you use other pieces of snow to make your body bigger?" Ashley asked.
"I tried to once. I could barely move, I was so freaking round. So I just like to stay like this." Snow Golem shrugged.
"Iron Golem, when you eat emeralds, is it kinda like a vending machine and you have power for a limited time?" Ashley asked.
"Um, kind of. I guess, I do feel stronger after I eat it, along with a side of some vines and roses and things like that. But I do know that emeralds are delicious!" Iron Golem grinned.
"Alright guys, BlackDragon41 is back!" Ashley grinned. "Skeleton, how can you be such a good archer without eyes?"
"It's called," Skeleton shot behind him at a pig that no one else at noticed, "reflexes! Or instincts, or whatever." And then he gave his bro a high five.
"Zeus, do you like marshmallows?" Ashley asked, holding up a big bag of them.
"Well...yeah..."
"Then you can have 'em." She tossed it at him.
"Oh, wait! Ghast, can you roast these?" Zeus grinned.
"Heck yes." Ghast grinned.
Soon Zeus was munching on a mouthful of perfectly roasted golden marshmallows.
"Baby Sheep, have you ever considered dyeing your wool? If you could, what color would it be?" Ashley asked.
"Red. Or black. Or both." Baby Sheep replied.
"Alrighty, Creeper, do you ever like to ride the minecarts in the mineshafts?" Ashley asked.
"Eh. I did once. It didn't turn out well...I mean, how was I supposed to know there was lava right next to me? I swear, someone set that up." Creeper shook his head.
"Alrighty, Steve and Herobrine, you two have to be kids for a while. If you behave, you get to have a cookie and get turned back. If not, then you guys have to hug in the corner for a full hour." Ashley grinned.
"Ugh." Steve muttered. "But he's on a happy shot! Who knows what the heck he'll do to me?!"
"Oh just shut up and do it." Ashley rolled her eyes. "Trust me, he'll regret it if he so much as touches your hair."
"Correction, my perfect, awesome, awesome hair." Steve muttered.
Herobrine and Steve were then turned into little kids, and Herobrine began to run in circles.
"Weeeee, weee, weeeeeeeeeee! Dizzy, dizzy, dizzy!" He fell over, holding his head. "Room spinning, room spinning! World...getting...darker..."
"No! No, Hero! No! You can't die, get up, soldier!" Miniature Steve knelt beside him.
"Go...on...without...me..." Herobrine said in a dying voice.
"No! I won't leave you!" Steve cried.
"You have to...it's the only way you'll make it out alive...Go! There's no hope for me now!" Herobrine closed his eyes.
"No! Hero! Don't go! Speak to me! No!" Steve cried. Herobrine fell down the bouncy slide they had been playing on, and Steve cried to himself. "No, Hero! No!"
Ashley wasn't sure whether to laugh or to cry. "Cookie for both of you!" She tossed them each a cookie and turned them back to themselves. "This is from a Guest, Herobrine, what is your opinion on stevebrine and notchbrine?"
"Well, I hate both Steve and Notch, so..." Herobrine muttered. "Steve isn't so bad to use as a punchbag, though."
"Alrighty...well...the username says it all; killsteve says, 'Zeus, how far can you throw Steve?'" Ashley winced.
"Let's find out!" Zeus grinned.
"Wait, wait, hang on." Ashley muttered. "Here, Steve, put these shoes on. It'll let you land on your feet without taking any damage."
"Thank freaking goodness." Steve muttered. "Gosh. I'm gonna got thrown by Zeus...holy crap..." The words were hardly out of his mouth when he was thrown out of sight. Five minutes later, he came back from the other side of the world, munching on rotten flesh. "What? I got hungry. It's dark on the other side of the world, ya know."
"Alright, now we're gonna split up into two groups. Then, we're gonna do a trivia from AxleMC131! Alright? Alright. Creeper, Herobrine, Zeus, Magma, Ghast, Skeleton, and Baby Sheep. You guys are a team. Then, we got Steve, Kristina, Slime, Blaze, Pigman, Wither Skeleton, and Enderman, you guys are a team. You guys get the cool buzzers. I am the host, as usual! Each question is worth one point. The eighth question is a bonus round, and I'll explain that when we get there. So, first question, what happens, when an arrow from a Skeleton kills a Creeper?"
Creeper and Skeleton winced.
Steve pushed his button. "It drops a music disk...right?"
"Correct, there's a point for team two. Next question, you can ride a boat on land, true or false?" Ashley asked.
Magma pressed his button. "False!"
"Incorrect. You actually can, apparently. I've never done that before, but hey, might be worth a try, right?" Ashley looked at the next question. "What is the product of flowing lava meeting a water source? A, cobblestone, B, smooth stone, or C, obsidian."
"C?" Skeleton guessed.
"Nope. Anyone else wanna guess?"
"B, smooth stone." Kristina replied.
"Alright! There's a point for team two. Glass, stairs, half slabs, signs, buttons, etc are all known as what kind of block?" Ashley asked.
"Oh, um, um, I know this one, I know this one! Clear? No, it was another word for clear...um..." Herobrine muttered.
Creeper pressed his buzzer. (With his face.) "Transparent."
"Correct, there's a point for team one." Ashley muttered. "What biomes do NPC villagers spawn in?"
"Desert and Grassy Plain." Baby Sheep replied.
"Correct, there's another point for team one. Both teams got two points, now." Ashley muttered. "What is interesting about Slimes and Magma Cubes, other than their ability to multiply on death. Slime, Magma, you guys can't answer this one."
"Dang-y it." Slime muttered.
"Um...their body stretches when they hop? I don't know..." Pigman guessed.
"Nope, try again."
"Oh! Right, they're the only mobs that can't swim." Zeus said.
"Ding-a-ling! Now, how large (length by width by height in blocks) is a Minecraft world chunk?" Ashley muttered. "I don't even know, so..."
Silence followed, before Blaze pressed the buzzer. "16x16x256?"
"Correct! There's a point for team two. Now, for the...(drum roll please) bonus round! There is a list of answers, and you get a point for each one you answer correctly. So, name as many biomes in the Minecraft world as you can."
Buzzers rang instantly.
"Desert!"
"Extreme Hills!"
"Jungle!"
"Grassy Plain!"
"The Nether?"
"Swamp!"
"The End!"
"Tundra!"
"Desert Hills Edge!"
"Alright, guys, slow down! Here were the answers: plains, desert, taiga, tundra, forest, jungle, swamp, mushroom island, nether, the end, extreme hills, beach, river, desert hills, desert hills edge, extreme hills edge. Now let's add up the points... team one won by two points!" Ashley announced. "Alright. Now. Kristina, dovahking says, 'Hey, Kristina, I dig pretty demon chicks. Wanna hang out sometime, kill some dudes?'"
Kristina stared for a second before grinning. "Eh, what the heck. Why not? Except, you should know, most of the ones I'm in the mood for hunting right about now is Herobrine."
"Alrighty Blueseas17 is back, and Herobrine, you have to eat another tree." Ashley said.
"Okay." Herobrine said, and then shoved a tree down his throat, and then smiled with toots between his teeth. Then he laughed until he coughed up part of the leaves. And then ate it again.
"And...Um...Tyler, you're not gonna like this one." Ashley warned him.
"Oh no. Did they put me in there? Really?! I'm just the camera guy!" Tyler sighed.
"Kristina, you have to kiss him." Ashley said. "And absolutely no sucking, kapeesh?"
"Yeah, whatever." Kristina rolled her eyes and kissed him.
Ashley couldn't help but laugh at the look on Tyler's face.
"C-Can we get a move on, now, please?" He stammered.
"Yeah, yeah, sure." Ashley read off her paper and a bunch of bottles appeared. "Yay! Potions!"
"Ooh! I want some!" Ghast exclaimed.
"Here, you have a few."
"Yipee!"
"Steve," Ashley began, and an empty bottle appeared in his lap, "'this is how much luck you have. Don't die. I still need to torture you.'"
"Gee, how comforting." Steve muttered.
"And, Demented Darkness, since I said that I was gonna put in OCs and whatever next chapter, that's what I'll do, m'kay? Right after I finish posting this one, promise. By the way, Herobrine, you're gonna like next chapter. Demented Darkness calls you 'Lord Herobrine'."
Herobrine grinned. "Well, everybody will be, after I take over the world. Which reminds me, can we hurry up with this Interview thing?"
"Yeah, yeah, sure. Sure." Ashley looked at her paper. "Oh. Um. Baby Sheep...you have to kiss, (since your a sheep, lick, I guess,) Steve."
"Are you serious?! First the freaking 'Devouror' had to kiss my freaking cousin, and now her freaking cute and insane servant's gotta lick me?!" Steve groaned. "You know what. I'm just gonna stop complaining. It never does any good, so. I'm just gonna close my eyes and wait until I die. Yeah, that's should do it."
Five seconds later, Steve was whining like a two year old. "Ew it's all over my face! She said lick, not slobber! What the freaking heck get it off, get it off, get it ooooooffffffffffff!"He then cried to himself in a corner.
"Alrighty, Herobrine, you get to fight Zeus." Ashley said.
It was Herobrine's turn to complain. Or he would've, had he not been hyper from the happy shot. He ran too fast for the eye to see, all but Zeus's eye. Wherever Herobrine went he was followed. Zeus made himself grow, and then used his hand to basically cage Herobrine. Herobrine struggled until he was out of breath and couldn't stand, and then Zeus juts flung him into a tree.
"Steve, I'm sorry. You get to run into lava and scream, 'I'm a chicken'." Ashley said.
Steve had stopped his sobbing, but his face was still red. "Please tell me I get to wear armor."
"Yeah, you already died once today, take this armor. It's white, so it'll be the more realistic 'i'm a chicken' thing, and then, it's stronger than diamond armor, so. Yeah. Just take it." Ashley said.
Steve sighed, put on the armor, stood up, and then ran into lava, screaming at the top of his lungs, "I'm a chicken, I'm a chicken!"
Herobrine was the only one who hadn't managed to hold in his laughter.
"Blaze, you have to give a minecart to Creeper." Ashley said.
"Not fair." Blaze sighed. "Not fair at all!" And then he tossed a minecart at Creeper, who rolled his eyes and threw it back.
"Herobrine, how strong are you feeling?" Ashley asked.
Herobrine narrowed his eyes. "Why?"
"Because you're gonna need to be pretty strong for this, everyone has to sit on your back at the same time, piggyback style." Ashley said.
Herobrine sighed. "Dang it. I liked my back. I think you should've told everybody to write their wills before they came to this Interview."
"Yeah, I know. I really should've. Anyway, jump on!" Ashley announced.
The piggyback ride didn't last more than a minute, in which Herobrine, and everyone else on top of him, collapsed.
"Next- question." Herobrine huffed.
"Alright, those were from Enderwan, this is from Fyrusfairy. (By the way, your profile pic is freaking awesome.) Herobrine, you have to go on a date with Jessica." Ashley said.
Herobrine smirked. "Finally something I want to do." And then he raced away, screaming at the top of his lungs, "DEMON! DEMON!"
"Snow Golem, Iron Golem, you two get to fight me." Ashley sighed.
"Heck yeah." Snow Golem whipped up at least three hundred snowballs, while Iron Golem stood on the other side of her, his gigantic arms extended.
"This can't be good." Ashley sighed, and took out her sword and shield. Snow Golem began to throw so many snowballs at once Ashley began to wonder if he would ever run out, while Iron Golem creeped closer behind her.
"Three!" Snow Golem cried.
"Two!" Iron Golem responded.
"One!" Snow Golem announced.
"Lift off!" They yelled, and then Iron Golem shot her up into the sky, while she screamed the whole way.
When she landed, it was on a pile of red snow. There was some blue to the next of her, and then white after that. She was in a snow target.
"Bullseye!" Iron Golem high fived his friend.
"Okay, then. Note to self, to not mess with golems." Ashley muttered. A few minutes later, Herobrine came back, muttering to himself and tried to wipe the lipstick off his cheek.
"Freaking angels and their need for girly ridiculousness!"
"I think the happy shot wore off." Ashley muttered. "Since it is the end of the chapter. The last dare is, Herobrine, you get to have your powers taken away and sent to the human world, so you can watch our puny lives and there's nothing you can do about it."
Herobrine grinned, despite this. "And maybe I'll just stumble across you and suck you dry, wherever you're on this oh so holy 'computer'."
"Um, gotta run! Bye guys!"
-ihearthorses6000