Chapter Nine: Identity
Henry sat at the desk doing his best to write the sentences Miss Blanchard had presented them with. So far first grade had proved to be much more exciting than kindergarten- he was in class with Bonnie at the very least now. He felt his glasses slide down his face and quickly readjusted him. The new pair was a bit too big for him, but it had been the best Regina could do after Alice had broken his first ones. The puppy had proved to be more mischievous than he thought his parents had expected, but she was too cute to be upset for long. She followed Henry everywhere around the house and even slept on his bed at night, but his parents didn't need to know about that.
"Henry," a voice whispered across from him. He looked up to see Bonnie showing off her counting sheet with sheep drawn all across them. "I count better when I think of the numbers as sheep," she giggled and he couldn't help but smirk as well. Bonnie thought of everything in terms of sheep- it was almost like that fairy-tale he had read in his favorite book. His parents had read to him from it every night, but now it was starting to be that he would read to them instead for practice. That had slowed their progress considerably and they were only about half-way through.
"Alright, class, we're going to take a break for a moment," Miss Blanchard addressed the class. Everyone looked up at her. "As we've talked about tomorrow is a very special day. Tomorrow we have invited all of your mom's to come into class and talk to us."
Henry instantly felt his mood sour. He remembered this conversation from about a week ago. Miss Blanchard had pulled him aside before telling the class of this and informed him that he was exempt from this because of the framework of his family. "It's alright, Henry," she had told him. "Your family is just different that the others. And that's a good thing."
Henry didn't think so. He didn't like being different from all his friends. He didn't like the way that Bonnie was now avoiding his gaze, scribbling absently. Yes, he had his dad and Uncle Michael and he wouldn't trade either of them for any mom in Storybrooke, but he wouldn't necessarily object to having one in addition. I mean, from what he had seen as his friend's houses they all seemed to be very nice and generally be a really great person to have around when you were sick or to tuck you in at night or even just to give you a hug and kiss. Henry wanted that, and he really wasn't quite sure on why he didn't.
Bonnie came up to him during recess and sat on the swing next to him. "I'm sorry you don't have a mom, Henry."
"That's okay. I don't know why I don't though. Everyone else does."
"I know. My mom and dad were talking about it one time," she had answered cheerfully. She instantly had Henry's attention. "They said she died when you were a baby and your dad moved here with Mr. Michael to help him." Henry immediately stopped swinging and felt tears pricking his eyes. He just thought back to the worms and what his dad had said about dying. She wasn't coming back. He had at one point had a mom but he was never going to have her hug him. He was never even going to meet her. "So you had a mom once. Maybe you can get another one."
That made Henry pause for a moment. All he had to do was have his dad marry someone else. That couldn't be too difficult. Maybe he could have someone to bring in tomorrow. But who did he want to be his new mom? Who could he bring to school tomorrow? And after a little bit of thought Henry figured out just the person he would want.
XXX
John Darling was exhausted as he walked up the steps to Regina's front door. It had been a sleepless night and a long day, so he was ready to just go home and head to bed. But he had no idea really what a rough year he was in for outside of the puppy that kept chewing up the newspaper before he could read the same articles every morning. He rang the bell and waited politely for Regina to open the door, forcing a smile. He did become a little surprised however that there was no Henry to immediately jump into his arms. He raised an eyebrow. "He's been up to something all afternoon," the mayor answered with a slight sigh. "He won't tell me what though."
At this Henry came bounding up, grabbed his hand, and started pulling him in. "Come on, Dad. I have a surprise for you." John kept his feet glues to the front porch, not in the mood. "Come on! It's really important for school tomorrow!" Unfortunately, his son's education was enough to get him moving. He followed Henry into the dining room with Regina following behind, equally curious.
What he saw in the dining room was enough to make him pause and his head hurt. Henry had colored pictures of heart and scattered them all over the table with an unlit candle sitting in the middle. There were two chairs and two of what looked to be Regina's fanciest glasses, but the topper was that classical music was playing in the background. Henry turned to face him, looking very proud of himself. "This is so you can ask Regina to marry you so she can be my new mom and come to class tomorrow," he told his dad very matter-of-factly.
John was pretty sure his brain exploded right then and there, and he was pretty sure Regina had done close to the same judging from her shocked gasp. He took a long breath and just looked at his expectant son's face. He-he didn't even know what to do. He was too tired and this was the very last thing he had been expecting- lower than Pan sitting at the kitchen table. But there wasn't time to stand there with your jaw open or process when you were a parent. You always had to be quick to recover with an answer, and now was no exception. He knelt so he was on Henry's level and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Henry, I'm sorry," he began in a very careful tone. "But I'm not going to marry Regina. I don't love her and someone gets married when they're in love." He could literally see Henry's dream come crashing down on him as he took a step back.
"But then I won't have a mom to take to school tomorrow," his voice trembled, clearly on the brink of tears. John knew he had to salvage this one fast. Regina had merely sunken into a chair, still processing what had just happened.
"I know, but you have me and Uncle Michael," John appealed. "And I'm sure if you asked, Regina would still go to school with you tomorrow if you'd like her too." He gave her a desperate glance and she recovered her poise with a kind smile.
"Yes, Henry, I would like that very much. I'm sure Miss Blanchard would understand if I talked to her." John desperately tried to ignore the threatening undertones in her voice. "How does that sound?"
Henry shook his head, backing away from him. "I don't want Regina!" he shouted, tears flowing and clearly ready to tantrum as hard as he could.
John saw the Evil Queen recoil and narrowed his eyes. "Henry, that's not very nice to Regina. You should apologize. She was trying to do something for you." It was clear by Henry's face though that even this look today wasn't going to cut it.
"I don't care!" he screamed. "I want a mom! Everyone else has a mom but me! It's not fair that mine died! I want a mom!" And he then proceeded to hammer John in the chest with his tiny fists a couple times for emphasis, causing John to grab ahold of him.
"I think it's time for us to go home," John decided firmly. Henry went to full out crying as he picked him up and turned apologetically to the Mayor. "I'm so sorry. Michael and I-"
"I'm sure you'll take care of the situation," she told him with more confidence than he felt. "It was unfortunately bound to come up some day. Do you still want me to contact the school about tomorrow?"
"We'll see how everything goes. I'll call you?" She nodded and he headed out the door with a squirming Henry. "Thank you as always." He deposited Henry in the back-seat before buckling himself up and starting to drive off. At the stop sign he looked back to see Henry had stopped the tears and moved on to sulking instead. John sighed. He was not prepared for this today.
XXX
Michael watched Henry shove Alice away as he sulked at the kitchen table. John had brought him home a few minutes ago and hastily explained all the excitement that had happened while he practically inhaled a cup of coffee. "I'm tagging you in for this one," he had told his younger brother as they watched their son spurn his puppy's playfulness.
Once the two had given him a minute to calm down they took their seats across from him, John turning to Michael to lead. He wasn't quite sure where to start, but he just went with his gut. "Henry, why do you want a mom so bad all of a sudden? I thought we were getting along pretty well here the three of us."
"Everyone at school has one!" Henry argued. "Miss Blanchard said I'm different and I don't want to be. I want to be like everyone else, Uncle Michael. It's not fair that I had a mom but she died before I could even meet her. I want someone to take care of me when I'm sick and hug me and make me soup."
Michael wasn't touching that one. He didn't want to lie to Henry about the brother's cover story, but he didn't know if now was the time for the whole ordeal. He decided to tackle what he could handle. "Henry, I remember when you were a baby. You got really sick, but your dad sat up with you all night in the rocking chair taking care of you." He could see he had grabbed his son's attention.
"And your Uncle Michael makes better soup than anyone in this whole town," John continued. "Plus, I've never known either of us to turn down a hug from you." They could see they now had Henry really thinking. "Being different isn't bad Henry because even though you don't have a mom you have the two of us. We care about you so much Henry and we do the best we can. I know this family is not perfect by any stretch of your vast imagination, but we're still your family. I know I wouldn't change any part of it, and I hope you wouldn't either." They both paused, hoping something had sunk in.
And then Henry was crying again. "I'm so sorry! You guys are my family and I love you! I'm sorry!" He ran around the table and jumped into his dad's arms. "I'm sorry I hit you and was mean to you. I love you and I don't want another family."
"Hey, it's okay. It's alright. We know, kid. We know." Michael was honestly floored by how well that had all been handled. It was almost like the two of them were real parents. He watched John cuddle Henry closer. "I think someone's tired and is ready for bed." Henry had merely nodded and allowed himself to be carried up to his room. "You're getting heavy."
"I'm not." Michael watched the two ascend and bent down to pet Alice on her head. They had admitted to being a family and it felt amazing. It made him feel like a missing piece inside of himself was now tucked away safe and sound with Henry. Finally the three lost boys had found a home.
At the moment he didn't know it, but this was going to be one of the easier conversations for the year. This one had everything go according to plan. Regina went to school with Henry the next day, and he had told Bonnie he didn't need a mom because he loved his family just the way he was. He didn't need one until his dad fell in love and wanted one.
Michael had smirked when Miss Blanchard told him that one. That would be the day indeed.
XXX
Henry didn't understand what Bonnie was saying about two months later as they were making birdhouses. His was a lot better than last year this time around. "What do you mean my dad isn't my dad?" He felt himself getting angry at the very thought.
"My parents told me you were adopted. I asked them what the means and they said that something happened to your real parents and now you live with new ones. So Mr. John isn't really your dad," Bonnie had answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I don't want to make a birdhouse. I think I'll make a sheep house."
She didn't notice that Henry was looking quite distressed with this revelation, but luckily Miss Blanchard did and was able to get him to Mother Superior before the sobbing started. They had both sat him down while they called Michael, soothing him as he clenched his unfinished birdhouse for dear life. Miss Blanchard went back to class and managed to pry Bonnie's words out of her. "Oh dear," she had said, hoping John and Michael would be able to handle this one alright.
XXX
"I don't like Bonnie," John said as he and Michael leaned against the counter. "She's nothing but a dirty little instigator." He had come home from work immediately after his brother's call and learned that Henry was up in his room. He hadn't said a word the whole way back, but Miss Blanchard had told them what Bonnie had said.
"You like Bonnie," Michael reminded him with a laugh.
John set his cup down and steeled his nerves. "Well, she's made my son cry twice now. She's not so high on my list. He needs to hang out with Piper more or that Paige girl. She's nice." He let out a sigh and adjusted his glasses. "Well, I guess we have to do this."
"What're we going to say?" John had simply shrugged and started up the stairs with Michael right behind them. Henry was curled up in his bed with Alice and the two brothers took a seat on either side of him. "Henry, we need to talk about what Bonnie said today."
"Is it true?" he asked, voice so tiny it almost broke their hearts. "It is true that you're not my real parents?"
"Henry," John began, forcing himself to be the strong one, "It is. You are adopted by me."
Henry looked physically broken and if possible shrunk even smaller. Alice gave him a comforting lick on the face. The dog physically hadn't grown a day, but her love of Henry doubled every day it seemed. She just seemed to know what he needed. "So then you're not my real parents…"
Michael shook his head. "Technically, we aren't. But we are your family and your parents because we raised you and are taking care of you. Nothing can change that. Parents aren't about the ones who had your first. They're about the ones who choose to have you in their lives and choose to care about you. Which we do. We picked you out of all the kids in the world to live with us. We picked to be your parents which actually makes you pretty special. So even though you are adopted know that doesn't change anything."
Henry sat up a little, allowing John to get an arm around him. "But what happened to my first parents then? They had to give me up."
"They did, but I'm sure they had their reasons," John explained. "They might not have been able to take care of you like we could. They had to do what was best for you."
Henry thought about his and nodded, taking it all in. "Will they come back and take me away?"
John tightened his hug. "Adoption doesn't work like that. I'm afraid you're stuck with me and your Uncle Michael." Henry buried his face in his dad's chest.
"We're still a family? You'll always be my parents?" his muffled voice had asked. The two brothers looked at each other, a little torn on what to say. They didn't want to lie to Henry, but they couldn't do it to him. Now was certainly not the time, but it was starting to feel like there would never be a time as they grew closer and closer to his becoming ten. The thought had flickered once or twice in their minds that they couldn't do it, but they had to save their sister. She was their ultimate priority. Henry was just theirs temporarily.
John was the one who made the choice. "Remember how I told you that Darlings never lie? Well, we are still your family and it is going to be that way for as long as you live. Okay?" Michael had given a small nod behind him, not completely satisfied but unsure what else could have been said. Henry seemed content at the very least. They read him part of the book and tucked him in before heading down.
"I don't know how much more of that I can take," the older Darling admitted. "At least we knocked out the two big ones. We should be home free now."
When Miss Blanchard dropped off the casserole the next day she had a very interesting tale to tell. "I appreciate the fact that you made Henry feel so comfortable about his being adopted, but if you could ask him to refrain from telling his friends that he's special because his parents picked him rather than getting stuck with him I would appreciate it. It made Bonnie quite upset."
The brothers promised to talk to him and they did, but it didn't stop John from smirking as they had coffee that night. When Michael shot him a disapproving look he had merely said, "What? She totally deserved it."
XXX
John looked up as Henry as he came up to the dining room table. He was working on some extra paperwork from Sheriff Graham keeping record on the criminals who they were bringing in each day. He hoped his boss wouldn't think too much of the fact that it was exactly the same list every day. But now Henry was staring at him with those eyes peeking through his large glasses. "What can I do for you, Henry? I've got some work I need to get done."
"I have a question for you. Do you love me?" John dropped his pen and had to take a moment. He felt his heart literally drop into his stomach and let out a noise that he was positive Alice was the only one capable of hearing. "Because I was waiting to be picked up from school with my friend Paige and I couldn't help but notice that every day when she gets in the car with her dad he tells her he loves her. You don't ever say that, so I want to know if you do. Families are supposed to love each other, right?"
The question was completely innocent, but this was the hardest obstacle John felt himself encounter. He remembered the first and last time Henry had told him that and how vehemently opposed he had been to the idea of saying back. But that had been years ago and they had gone through so much as a family. John was in a place he had never expected to be in life and had grown more comfortable in that role than he thought he and Michael had ever expected. It had been one thing to accept being a parent and part of a family, but this somehow felt like the final line. If he crossed this and gave this piece of himself he was never going to get it back.
He could tell him no, but that would be the biggest lie he had ever told anyone in his life. Of course he loved Henry. He was his son and the greatest part of his life. He was the reason he woke in the morning looking forward to the day. He was the reason he went through the same day of work and carved out a living. He was the reason he had a home. He was the reason he finally felt like he had a family. And he loved each and every single piece of those things that made up his life. So he loved Henry more than he thought was possible. He knew he couldn't hide from how he felt. He couldn't run or pretend anymore like he had that one night tucking him in.
But admitting it aloud seemed to be the final nail in the coffin- a step too huge. It would be throwing away any sense that they had kept some distance from Henry and were still invested in their mission. No, they were more invested in Henry and they were going to pay the price for that later when the time came. And maybe if he denied it now it would hurt less later? He would give anything to make it hurt less later.
But then he saw Henry staring up expectantly at him, glasses that were exactly like his own. He would give anything to make it hurt less other than hurting Henry that was. Because he loved Henry he could not hurt him. So he decided to cross the line and say the things he had never planned on voicing. "I do," he said, trying to play off what a big deal this was. "I thought you knew and I didn't have to say it. But I was wrong I suppose. I'll work on being better about that, okay?"
Henry beamed, hugging him. "Okay. I love you Dad."
John hugged him close. "I love you too, Henry. So much." The words somehow felt freeing and scary at the same time. But for once he chose to focus on the positive emotions rather than the negative ones. He chose to enjoy how happy Henry was, like any true parent would.
XXX