Eren thought furiously as he sneaked his way toward the back gate. How had the Corporal known his name? He would have sworn, pinkie sworn, that he'd never mentioned it. When they'd first met Eren had been tossed on his ass well before he could actually introduce himself. Had the Corporal been watching him? Was this another aspect of his magic? It wasn't as if they'd met before.

Slowing, Eren worried his bottom lip. They definitely hadn't met before. Of course they hadn't. He would have remembered some crazy, grumpy guy with swords! And yet… there was something distinctly familiar about the Corporal. Maybe it was just the fact that he was the only person Eren knew in this messed up place, but he felt safe in his company. It was more than the swords and more than the help. Walking that bridge, even as memories of the ocean flooded through him, Eren had felt a contrasting sense of peace while attached to the Corporal's back.

Eren scowled. It wasn't like he wanted to think about all that. Now with his panicky lack of breath was in the past he couldn't believe he'd actually acted that way. Like such a baby! Mikasa was the one who was scared of the water, not him. Not that Mikasa was a baby or anything. It was fine for her to be afraid. Though it wasn't like boys couldn't be scared. Of course they could. Eren knew that. But still.

These thoughts were temporarily laid to rest as he reached the staircase. It was even taller than the vision had made it appear and definitely longer. Off in the distance that huge forest moaned as trees bent under the wind and that same wind eventually reached Eren, pushing him towards the edge. There was a steep turn halfway down. Was that safe? Even if it was, Eren could see a few boards that were partially rotted through and planks that were pulling up from their nails. The safe thing to do would be to scoot down on his butt and hope for the best.

No sooner had that option come up than Eren dismissed it. C'mon. He was going to crawl down there like a scaredy-cat? Scaredy-crab was more like it. No. No one was here to hold his hand and that was fine. Eren didn't need them to anyway.

Marching forward he took the first three steps quickly, deliberately refraining from looking down. When they remained sturdy under his feet Eren smirked. He picked up the pace, throwing his shoulders forward to gain some momentum.

Which of course was when Eren tripped.

With a scream he fell forward, all at once gaining too much momentum. Somehow Eren maintained his footing even as he felt his body tipping towards the side's edge. With another cry he pulled back towards the wall and stumbled the rest of the way down. Eren could see what was about to happen, tried desperately to stop it, but it was too late. He crashed into the wall, full-body and with a sickening.

"Owwwww—fuck." He said against the concrete.

Tenderly unsticking himself Eren had all of half of second to be thankful that no one had seen that when, just his luck, the window above his head slid open. Eren plastered himself right back against the wall as cigarette smoke began drifting his way. It was a frog spirit, or something like it. He hummed a strange little tune as Eren struggled not to cough from the smell. The spirit stayed for only a moment before a shout came and he lumbered away. Eren let out a choked groan.

"I don't think I actually want to work here," he muttered.

Which was true… and untrue. If the Corporal thought that working here would help Eren get his family back then he'd work for a thousand years if he had to. Five thousand. A hundred. Whatever it took. Feeding off the energy that promise created, Eren tugged open the door that led to the boiler room.

He shouldn't have been surprised but the heat hit Eren hard after the cool night air. He could just see light at the end of a hallway full of steam. For a moment Eren hesitated, thinking of the steam that had poured off of him so recently, but standing here wasn't going to do a thing for Mom or Dad or Mikasa.

"I can handle the heat!" Eren called and marched forward.

There were machines everywhere, all of them whirling and whistling. As Eren crept closer toward the light he noticed a shadow pooling out of the room and climbing the wall on his left. As the shadow moved Eren realized that whoever was in there must have four arms instead of two. Maybe more. Still, the Corporal wouldn't have sent him to anyone dangerous… right? Lifting his chin Eren slipped inside before he could loose his nerve.

Inside was… a girl. And a boy. Eren stood, head cocked. Not because they were fearsome spirits with multiple arms, but simply because they weren't. He could have passed these two on any street and never have batted an eye.

Their movements, however, did explain the strange shadow. Though clearly two people, the boy and girl moved as one, weaving around each other so closely they may as well have had one body. They were seated high above the ground, just to the right of the boiler. The girl—brown hair pulled back in a sloppy pony tail and dressed in overalls—snagged one lever after another while the boy—buzz cut, short build, gleeful expression—snuck his hands in the openings she created to twist this, that, and the other thing. Throughout it all they shouted at one another with ease.

"—aw c'mon, Sasha! You never let me heat the upstairs tubs you're such a—"

"You're doing it wrong! You're doing it wrong! This is why, Connie—"

"I am not—"

"Yeah you are."

"I am NOT—"

"Oh I don't caaaaaare. Is it lunch? Please tell me it's lunch."

"It's not lunch."

Eren winced as the girl let out an ear splitting wail. Flailing she bent backwards around the boy, Connie, until her hand caught around the handle of an old tea-kettle. Foregoing a cup she drank straight from the spout, chugging like a starving beast. She finally came up for air with a wet gasp, water dribbling down her chin. It was when she opened her eyes from her stupor that she noticed Eren. Until then, he'd had no idea eyes could actually bug out like they did in the cartoons.

"Eh?!" She cried, pointing. "Who are you?"

"… Eren." There was a dead silence while Eren fidgeted. "… Eren Yeager."

"You're a human." It was Connie. Hopping down from his post he edged forward, tentative. All at once his face split with a ridiculous grin. "A human!" he chortled. "An actual human! Sasha are you seeing this?"

Sasha propped her cheek up on her hand, seemingly over her shock. With a groan her head dropped a little further. "See him? Yes. Can I eat him?"

"No!"

"Then I don't caaaaaaaaare—oh!" With a cry she sat up again, reaching for more levers. Something was whistling frantically.

Connie's expression crumpled. "Ah hell. No rest for the weary, huh? Listen, awesome you coming here and all, really, but you'd best head out before—"

"I need work." Eren blurted. He straightened, trying to look as capable as possible.

"Work?" Connie parroted.

"No work here!" Sasha twisted eight nobs in seven seconds and then reached for a button high above her head. She was only able to brush its bottom edge. With a curse Connie scrambled up beside her, hoisted her over his shoulders, and Sasha slammed down on the button with a triumphant cry. "No work!" she repeated. Then she whipped around to stare at Eren. A string of drool began seeping out between her lips and, instinctually, Eren backed away.

"No work unless… you've got food." She giggled and it was absolutely terrifying.

"I—" Eren's hand flew to his pant's pocket, only to remember that he'd given Mikasa's chocolate to the Corporal. "I… did but… no. No, sorry."

"No work then." With a disappointed sigh Sasha went back to her manic dance. Over the hiss of steam and the clank of the boiler Eren thought he heard her muttering something about 'starved workers.'

"But, can't you—"

"NO WORK!"

Connie shrugged. He tossed tools at a pipe until it stopped screaming. "You heard her. Sorry, kid."

Eren stomped his foot. Just once… and then another two times for good measure. It was stupid of course, but he knew in that moment that he didn't like anyone calling him 'kid' but the Corporal. Running he leapt and caught the edge of their outcrop and pulled himself up. Connie gapped like a fish as Eren got right in his face.

"I need work!" He shouted. It was sort of necessary at this point. The sound of machinery was deafening from here. "Corporal said you have to give me work!"

"Corporal sent you?" Connie's mouth unhinged a little more. He pointed frantically. "You're the human everyone's looking for!" Behind him, Sasha rolled her eyes so dramatically Eren saw it without actually seeing it.

"Of course he's that human. How many do you think are running around this place, noodle brains?" Wiping her hand on her overalls Sasha turned. "And you. What part of 'no work' don't you get?" She slung her hands on her hips. Young as she looked, the posture screamed 'mother' to Eren and he quieted, all the while ignoring the sudden ache in his stomach.

"I need work," he insisted. "My family, they…"

Eren watched as Sasha's eyes softened. She knelt down beside him. "All right, all right. Don't get dewy-eyed on me okay?" Despite the fact that he was not crying she took out a handkerchief stained with god-knows what and rubbed it over his cheeks. "I get it… Eren, was it? Really. But there's no work here. You'll have to try elsewhere." Then she brightened. "Unless you find food! Get some food and then we can talk." All energy again she scrambled over to the controls once more. Slightly thrown, Eren turned to Connie.

"Sorry," Connie said again. "Honestly though, she's right. I can't think of anything else we need done down here. Like yeah, there's too much to do—slaves of the boiler room and all that." Connie rubbed a hand over his shaved head. "But we've got our system down. Still, don't underestimate her love of food." He whispered the last word, barely audible. "You bring her something and she might actually help you out. Who knows, right?"

"Yeah. Who knows..."

"Atta boy." Connie thumped Eren on the back, nearly sending him over. "You humans are so cool."

Despite it all, Eren cracked a teeny, tiny smile. Strange as he was, Connie was kind of cool too. So long as he didn't call him 'kid.'

Eren caught his sleeve before he could completely pull away. "Hey. Do you have any idea where I can find some—"

"HEADS UP!"

Sasha flew backwards as five bits of colored wood came tumbling down from the ceiling, suspended by long ribbons. Sprawled on her back she shook a fist at the wood angrily.

"Five bath-tokens!" she cried. "Five! For the love of…. I bet it's Marco again, spoiling the clientele rotten. I'm not a workhorse!"

"Of course you're not, Sasha."

"… Are you patronizing me?"

"Whaaa? No. Of course not. Never."

"Connie, I swear—"

As the two fought Eren used their shouts to mask his escape. He crawled back to the floor, his t-shirt now permanently stuck to his back with sweat. Slowly, he shuffled toward the door. What was he supposed to do now? He could go back outside, try to find the Corporal, maybe ask him if he had any more of that disgusting food to give to Sasha (something told Eren she'd take it, no matter the taste). Or he could just tell him how insane his friends were and if he wanted Eren to get a job here he'd have to come up with something better. Or Eren could run. Take to the hills sloping around the bathhouse, try to find his parents on his own. He'd take down anyone who stood in his path and then… Well. He'd do something.

"All right, boys. Break's over!"

At Connie's shout a hundred little creatures swarmed out of arches cut into the edge of the floor's threshold. And of course, Eren was standing right in their path.

"Hey—no—watch it!"

Black, fluffy balls flooded around Eren's feet. They were quick as scurrying mice and although he didn't want them getting into his socks, Eren didn't want to step on them either. They looked like one good kick would obliterate them.

Connie grinned down at his flailing. "Awesome right? They're soot." Eren nodded, though he'd never seen soot with big eyes and chittering voices before. "Enchanted them myself. Not perfect of course, if they don't work the spell wears off—I'm working on that, swear—but they're cute, huh?" Eren nodded again. One soot ball jumped high to tickle his ankle. "Hey, you lazybones! Leave Eren and get to work already!"

At Connie's command they swarmed back through the arches, only to come out again a moment later, this time with lumps of coal held high in their little arms. In a single file they scurried forward to feed the boiler. Sasha groaned in relief.

Eren watched them for a few minutes, recognizing that what he really was doing was stalling. How was he supposed to find the Corporal again? Eren scuffed his shoe hard against the floor. This was all shit.

However, as he kicked Eren caught a soot ball as it ran past. The poor thing tumbled a foot before its piece of coal—nearly four times its size—landed directly on its head.

"Sorry!"

Eren scooped the coal up, peering apprehensively underneath. After a second the dark smear on the ground popped back into an animate being. Eren let out a relieved smile. It faded though when he looked down at the coal in his hand. What was he supposed to do with this now? He couldn't give it back. The poor soot ball was still wobbling on its tiny legs.

"Eren!" Sasha leaned over the edge, a shaking, wild-eyed vulture. "You're holding up the line!"

He was. All the other little soot balls were jogging in place behind him.

"I don't—"

Sasha pointed sternly towards the boiler. "Finish what you started."

"You can't order me around," Eren sniped. "It's not like I work here, remember?"

"MOVE YOUR BUTT, HUMAN BOY, OR SO HELP ME, I'LL USE YOU AS FUEL."

Eren ran. He tossed the coal in faster than it had ever been tossed before. The clank-whoosh of machine and heat, inches from his vulnerable skin, almost drowned out Connie's laughter. Almost.

Grumbling Eren shuffled back, wiping black yuck on his shorts. Connie was still laughing. He looked up to tell the stupid, spirit-boy off when Eren realized what exactly he was laughing at. Every soot ball had dropped coal on their own heads, their tiny limbs waving exaggeratedly.

Eren blinked. "Wow. Talk about lazy."

"You've—you've—" Connie choked, nodding frantically. "You've created monsters!"

"Well you enchanted them," Sasha said. "Let me guess, modeled them after yourself?"

"Aw c'mon, Sasha."

"If we don't keep up then the customers will complain, and if the customers complain then Irwin will get pissed, and if Irwin gets pissed then he might end up doing something horrible to us like RATIONAING OUR MEALS."

At the name 'Irwin' Eren's ears perked up… and that tight ball of anger pulsed in his chest. It so consumed him for a moment that he missed Connie's muttered, "Or worse." Before he could say anything though, a tiny door—one Eren hadn't even realized was there—slid open and a girl's head popped through.

"Lunch!" she called and Sasha was gone. One moment she was at her dials, the next she was in that girl's lap. Or rather, she almost was. See what Sasha, and everyone else there didn't know was that Eren had spent his life running: away from dickheads and towards adventure, through his father's arms and between his mother's legs. And because of all this, he was fast. Rabbit running from a dog fast. Or get back before your curfew fast.

Even get between Sasha and her food fast.

That's exactly what Eren did. A second before Sasha's greasy hands landed on a bowl filled with rice and tempura, Eren was there first. He held it high above his head and then deliberately shoved it into Sasha's arms.

"There!" Eren cried. "I gave you food." Technically. "Now give me a job!"

Sasha sprouted a confused grin, her eyes widening. Then Eren was yanked backwards.

He hadn't paid much attention to the girl bringing the food, but now he kind of wished he had. She had dirty brown hair up in a ponytail, just like Sasha, and she also seemed a little erratic in her movements, but that's where the similarities ended. This girl wore glasses and Eren would swear, double-dog-pinkie-forever-and-always-swear, that he had never seen a more literal expression of insanity behind a pair of specs before. He'd thought Sasha was intense. Sasha had nothing on this one.

"Are you a human?" the girl whispered. She began patting and pinching him… everywhere. "You are… you are, aren't you? Oooooooh I just love humans. You're so fascinating!" The girl pulled Eren's nose up like a pig's, trying to look up his nostrils. This close, her magnified eyes were demonic. "Your skin is so warm. So soft! Do you put anything on it? I heard humans sometimes rub ointments onto their limbs, or draw on them, or even pierce them! Do you do that?" She began tugging Eren's shirt up over his stomach.

"Would you stop it, crazy lady!" What was it with these creatures manhandling him?

"Lay off him, Hanji." Connie said. He didn't sound too concerned though. Sasha's mouth was too full to say anything at all.

Batting invasive hands away Eren turned to her. "I gave you food, Sasha. Job."

"Mu moont ha enfy ooobs hheer," she said.

"We seriously don't have any jobs available here, Eren." Connie translated. "Sorry, man."

"But—"

"You want a job?" Hanji cooed.

"Yes!"

"I'll give you a job."

"Fine!" Eren sucked in a breath. "Wait what?"

"C'mon!" Hanji started dragging him back through the door. Though at the last second Sasha, thankfully, blocked their way.

She gulped down two mouthfuls of rice. "Aren't you forgetting something, Hanji?"

"Uh…"

Sasha nodded at the hundred, hopeful soot balls peeking up at them.

"Right. How could I forget you darlings?" With a sheepish grin Hanji released Eren—for now. She dug in her basket until she came up with a handful of colorful stars. Hanji started scattering them like seeds over the ground and the soot balls happily gathered them up, popping them into their furry mouths. Behind her Connie had scrounged up a used bowl from somewhere and was nudging it Sasha's way. She reluctantly dropped in some of her food. Eren stood between the two parties, just looking back and forth.

"Are you really going to give me a job?" he asked.

"Hanji loves humans," Sasha said, as if that was somehow an answer. "Absolutely NUTS about them," and she snickered into her rice.

Hanji glared but then nodded frantically. "Do you eat night fruit?" she asked. She held out a handful of stars to him. "Go on, go on. You can try a little. Don't be shy. There you go, boy. Gooooood, boy."

"He's not a dog, Hanji." Connie drawled, but he gestured for Eren to take one anyway. It wasn't like he wanted to—those sure as hell weren't fruit—but if this woman could actually give him a job...

Eren took a tiny, yellow star and popped it into his mouth. It was foul.

"Aww," Hanji cooed as he spluttered.

"You should take him to Irwin," Sasha suggested, thumping Eren on the back. "Wouldn't want to give him a job we don't have."

"True, true," Connie agreed.

"And there are no jobs here."

"None at all."

"I'm sure there's something upstairs though…"

"No doubt."

"But just in case…" Sasha shrugged. She stuffed an entire shrimp in her mouth, tail and all. "You don't want to make Irwin mad. Don't want Eren getting kicked out too soon right?"

Hanji paused in her feeding. Her arm began throwing the stars again soon enough, but in that second a calculated glint had entered her eyes. Eren had assumed that she was just as she appeared to be—crazy, scary-crazy, and stupid-crazy—but that look suggested cunning; and cunning required patience. For as long as he could remember Eren's mom had been telling him the same thing day in, day out: get ahold of your temper. "Be patient, Eren." She'd say. "If you'd just stop and think things through..." Eren didn't like it one bit, but having someone with patience on his team was probably a good thing.

"I can't leave," he said. Eren stepped forward. "Not yet. And…" he shrugged, feeling a healthy amount of trepidation. "If you get me a job I guess I can, I don't know, tell you what it's like to be human?"

Hanji squealed. That glint wasn't gone yet though.

"Sasha… didn't you once tell me you had a nephew?" she asked. Slowly, deliberately.

Sasha smiled around her chopsticks. "Oh right. How ever could I have forgotten about that?" Connie coughed into his bowl. "Distant brother of mine went off and married a human. Huge scandal. Isn't it terrible? To make things worse they had a kid together. Who even knows how that works. Still, he's a little boy who'd be about…oh, Eren's age I suppose. Wouldn't you say so, Eren?"

Catching on, Eren nodded.

"Now don't you think Irwin would just have to hire him? A relative of one of his best workers?"

"Absolutely." Sasha scowled when two whistles sounded at once. "Worker though? I'm a mule around here, let's be honest. Hey! Soot cry-babies! Yeah, you all. Back to work! C'mon, Connie, get them going." She peered sadly down at her empty bowl before shoving it Connie's way. Sasha scrambled back onto her ledge.

Connie juggled the two bowls expertly. "Alright already… hey, Eren? Make sure to visit. I could do with some company around here, other than hers."

"I'm an absolute joy to be around, asshat!"

"Uh huh."

"Visit?" Eren only understood the full implication of that when he felt himself being dragged backwards—again. Hanji had him in her clutches once more and this time there was no Sasha standing in her way.

"One job for one lab rat." She breathed. "That definitely seems fair. I can't wait, I can't wait!"

"Lab rat? What? No, no, Hanji, that's not what we—"

Eren caught a final glimpse before he was pulled through the door. Connie had his back to him, directing his soot balls, but Sasha turned at the last second. She cast him a frenzied salute.

"Welcome to the family!" she called and then the door slammed shut.