Disclaimer: I don't own.
Beta-Read: The Digital Gate
Notes: Sorry for the wait. This was a very long chapter. Think of it as the first chorus in a song.
And one may wonder how am I going to make this story 15 chapters…I have my ways.
Review. 4 reviews would be great.
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Who would have thought it would end up like this?
Iori Hida frowned searching their dispassionate eyes. They looked so…loving and romantic, but he knew better.
He knew that comfort and security was also playing a heavy factor.
He was glad that the two were alone. He was glad that they were even speaking. Unknown to Daisuke, the two had just reached the point of tension in their relationship.
Iori didn't feel the need to correct him.
He knew that Sora was taking drugs and was frequently visiting bars and clubs. He knew that Yamato wasn't getting sleep. He knew that they had been finding little time to spend together.
He knew that Sora was mad.
He knew that Yamato was scared.
And he knew that they wanted to make it work.
How did he know? He listened.
It was his one asset. He listened.
He heard what others said. He understood their views, their beliefs. He knew what to soak in and what to ignore.
He listened.
And now, as the two sat still as Daisuke cracked open the door and stood watching the couple, complete confusion written on his face, Iori knew that they were fine.
They would have spots where they were going to fight. They would probably break up a couple times, if not more.
But right then, at that point in time, everything was alright. Everything would work itself out.
And Iori was glad that love was still in the air.
Friendship.
Love.
They needed it. They needed it to help the entire gang; the entire group, get back together. They needed it to help heal.
Which was why Iori was glad when Daisuke decided to visit them first.
Iori was reliable. He was knowledgeable to an extent. Daisuke was courageous and brave. He was extremely loyal.
But they needed the glues. They needed the bonds. They needed the help.
And that help would be attained from Sora and Yamato.
So Iori was glad to see them starting to mend themselves. If they healed, they could help heal everyone else.
But he wanted to make sure that they were cured too.
He hated it when someone had to take care of everyone else. When one person had to carry the weight for everyone.
When one person watched over and protected everyone.
It was a team effort.
And Iori wanted his team back together.
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What is wrong with me?
Ken Ichijouji was awake, and frankly, he was glad. He wanted to be able to stretch his legs.
The new emotion he felt, that of stiffness and soreness, felt odd to him. It felt exotic even.
And the cryptic movements of his feet felt strange. They were carrying him of their own free will. He had no control, no say.
His hand reached towards the door. Somehow, his brain kicked in.
He flinched and pulled away.
Even if he wanted to leave the margins of his room, he wouldn't be able to face them.
His parents. His classmates. His teachers. His friends.
His real friends.
The ones that didn't hang out with him just because he was famous and a genius. The ones who cared that he was locking himself up in his room.
And his love.
The one girl who stood by his side not for his skills, but for his heart.
And then stomped on it. Over and over again.
Ken felt the tears swell up.
He shook his head, and pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind.
Right now, he needed to focus and concentrate on the apologizes he owed.
And he knew he owed plenty.
He was going to start with his parents. He needed their guidance and support to talk again, to communicate. Then he would find his friends.
Unless his friends found him first.
And that's what he guessed was going to happen.
Slowly, he made his way to his desk.
He stroked the cold wood. He felt the dust collect under his fingers.
He hadn't used it in so long. He hadn't written or typed anything in such a while.
And Ken didn't realize the effects until that moment.
As he began to write with his favorite pen on his favorite notepad, he felt the words flowing through him. He didn't know where half the ideas and half the structure came from.
But after reading over them all, he knew they were perfect. They were heartfelt and right.
They felt…kind.
And he was glad.
He felt kind.
And he was glad.
He wanted to spread this kindness to everyone else. He felt that everyone should be able to feel his new rekindled sense of calm and rationality.
But he wanted his family and friends to know it first.
He took a deep breath.
He left the notepad on the bed.
Slowly, he unlocked the door. He twisted the knob.
Swinging open the door, he stepped out.
He was ambushed immediately.
And Ken welcomed it.
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When will we finally realize that it's only as bad as we make it out to be?
Yamato Ishida kept his arm wrapped around her shoulder, and did his best to look over without disturbing her.
They needed this.
And they were glad that they showed up as quietly as they did.
They needed it.
"Hey."
It was a whisper on his part, but Yamato knew that Daisuke meant well.
"Hey."
After responding, he lifted Sora off his shoulder and looked into her eyes. She smiled at him and he could see the confusion in her eyes slowly melt into love, sadness, guilt, and worry.
Her neck snapped.
"Is everyone okay? Is anyone hurt? Are they? You wouldn't be looking like that unless someone was hurt! Huh? Tell me!"
Her voice was frantic, and Yamato couldn't help but smile.
She was back.
"Sora, calm down. I'm sure they would have called if it was urgent. C'mon, can't we see each other without it being an emergency?"
Sora looked at him, and nodded. "Yeah, you're right." She closed her eyes. "Deep breaths, Sora, deep breaths."
Iori moved to the other couch across from the one the couple was sitting on, and Daisuke took a place on the seat next to him.
"So…how are things?"
Yamato stood up and went to lock the door, leaving Sora feeling slightly self-conscious in her bathrobe. She shrugged the feeling off however.
"Things seemed to be okay. If not, we'll find a way around that." She smiled. "How about you guys? How's life? Have you seen any one of the others?"
Iori looked to the floor, but Daisuke cleared his throat as Yamato sat back down.
"Well…I'm okay. I'm just…missing everyone, that's all. It's been such a long time since we've all just…hung out. Iori wasn't doing so well…but he came around. Everyone else…well, we'll just have to knock some sense into them."
Yamato nodded solemnly.
"I was afraid of that. I hope Taichi and Takeru haven't been giving either of you too much trouble."
"Well, I'm kinda...afraid to go to Taichi, so I haven't seen him. Takeru, on the other hand, seems to be…hopeless. Literally. I'm hoping Hikari can somehow break through the prison Taichi set her in and get through to him."
Sora groaned. "Why does Taichi have to be so damn protective? Can't he see that we're all trying to help each other?"
Iori sighed. "He just wants to be loved again. He feels like he's lost everything and everyone. He needs and wants help. And hopefully, we can give it to him."
Yamato smiled. "We'll do it together. Together, we'll get our leader back."
And after everything his best friend had ever done for him, Yamato vowed to himself to help him if it was the last fucking thing he did.
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Where did I get this crazy idea?
Hikari Yagami would have never done this. She couldn't imagine herself jumping out of her window and climbing down her four story apartment building. She wouldn't have ever imagined herself coming here of all places.
But there she was, at his house, sitting on his couch in front of him.
Granted, it wasn't really his house, it was Yamato's. But then again, it was half his and he did live, eat, and sleep there.
But she still couldn't believe it.
Hikari was at Takeru's house.
And after leaving him as suddenly as she did, she didn't think she would be able to face him again.
She hadn't done anything bad. She just did something good.
And that was what made it the worst situation possible.
Hikari knew she shouldn't have just kissed him and run away. She knew it would only lead to things that neither of them could handle in the current condition.
But Hikari hated having to be perfect and special. She wanted to be normal.
And having raging hormones was normal. Kissing your crush of five years was normal. Running away after doing the possibly craziest thing in your life was normal.
But Hikari still didn't feel normal.
She felt stupid. She felt anxious and afraid. She felt…cold and numb.
She didn't feel joy or lightheartedness. She didn't feel light.
She felt darkness.
She knew that a period of hate, despair, and depression had fallen on her friends. Her brother had lost all sense of…Taichi-ness. He had become something that Hikari regretted to say was her brother.
And Takeru was still the same old Takeru, even if he tried burying it deep within himself, hiding it from everyone else.
He was still the hope filled and joyous blonde haired boy who loved to play basketball and write.
He was still Takeru Takashi.
And he was still the man Hikari Yagami loved.
And Hikari was determined to tell him that.
If she could speak at all, that is.
But Takeru was gloomy and sullen, refusing to speak. She tried to strike up conversation, but all attempts were feeble since her vocal chords refused to move.
Damn hormones.
"'Keru…"
The blonde refused to meet her eyes, making no effort to listen or comprehend her hesitance and reluctance at speaking. Hikari sighed.
"Takeru, please listen to me. I'm so sorry for just…taking off like that. I should have explained or done something. I just…couldn't think. I was kinda out of it. I was so preoccupied." She shook her head. "But enough excuses. I kissed you. You kissed me back. There was chemistry. I know there was something there, and I hate myself for running. I hate myself for just leaving everything and seeing if I could avoid confrontation. I should have just faced you."
Takeru frowned. "Don't say that."
Hikari raised her eyebrow. "Say what?"
"Don't say that you hate yourself. You can't hate yourself. No one hates you. You're just…so…perfect."
That did it. That one word blew it. Hikari squeezed her eyes shut and stood up.
She let it all out.
"I AM NOT SO DAMN PERFECT! WHY CAN'T ANYONE JUST LET ME BE NORMAL? I WANNA BE A NORMAL PERSON, DAMN IT!"
Takeru blinked. "'Kari, you are normal. You're the normal-est person who ever walked the planet. Maybe not to you, or some other stranger walking down the street, but to me, you're perfect. And your perfection and the slight lack of perfection is what attracted me. It's what attracts me. It's what made me fall into depression when you ran away. It's what made me kiss you back. It's what's preventing me from looking you in the eye. And it's what is urging me to kiss you right now."
Hikari's lip quivered, and her eyes became soft. Before she knew it, Takeru's lips were pressed against hers.
The first time was pure excitement. It was their first kiss together, and the spontaneity and sudden idea behind it clouded over the actual feeling.
This time, however, it was all comfort. It was all pleasure and enjoyment. They needed the kiss. They wanted the lip-lock to speak for them. It communicated all the emotions and all the pent-up desires growing inside of them.
When Hikari backed away, she knew she wasn't going to be running again anytime soon.
And Takeru lifted her chin, and looked into her amber eyes. They were full of compassion. Not love.
They didn't know if love was a feeling that was sinking into them. They just knew it felt right.
And in Hikari's book, anything that caused her happiness and felt right was perfect.
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Why is everything so fucked up?
Jyou Kido quivered as he listened to the message. Pure sincerity and honesty radiated from her voice.
He immediately picked up his phone and he dialed her number.
It was on speed dial.
As the connection rung, Jyou suddenly became conscious of himself. He hadn't spoken to her like a friend…since forever. Though it may have only been a couple of months, if not weeks, to them it seemed as if it had been many, many years.
It kept ringing.
Holding onto the hope that she may not pick up, Jyou relaxed, but it was short-lived when the receiver answered.
"Hello?"
The voice seemed to be strained and quite, and Jyou could sense a bit of nasal in it.
She had been crying.
"Mimi? Is everything okay?"
"Jyou?"
"Yeah…"
"Jyou! I'm so glad you called! I was going through my phonebook. I can't believe I haven't spoken to the gang in ages."
"Yeah…"
"Is that all you can say?"
Jyou gulped, and exhaled. He needed to get it out.
"Mimi…have you seen me around school lately?"
"No…"
He sighed.
"That's what I was hoping for."
"Why?"
"Otherwise you would be yelling at me for I've become."
When a silence hovered, and he knew something was wrong.
"Mimi?"
"Yeah. I'm still here."
"Are you okay?"
"Truthfully, no. I need to see you guys again. I feel so…bitchy. I feel wrong. I feel filthy and unclean. I feel defiled."
"You just need help."
"I know. I'm just afraid to ask for it."
Jyou opened his mouth to respond, but his voice escaped him.
"Jyou?"
"Mimi, can I ask you something."
"Uh…go ahead."
"Have you ever felt truly in love?"
Silence hovered.
"No. I don't think so. Why?"
"I think…well…let's just say that I changed everything about me, my appearance, my style, my character, just to impress this girl. Yes, I know that's stupid. But if I can't gather the courage to tell her that I love her, do I?"
"Jyou…I really can't answer that question for you. Do you love her? Only you know."
Jyou sighed.
"I know, I know. Thanks Mimi."
"Hey, I should be the one thanking you. You snapped my out of my bitchy ways…somewhat."
He laughed, and he heard her smiling on the other side.
"Um…Mimi? Do you mind if we hang out tomorrow?"
"That sounds great. I'll meet you at your place."
"No, I'll meet you at yours."
"I'm not sure if that's a great idea…"
"Mimi, I really don't give a shit."
Once more was there no response.
"That sounds good."
"And Mimi?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm really glad I'm talking to you."
"Me too."
With that, Jyou hung up.
Lying on his bed, he shook his head.
He was an idiot. A complete and total idiot.
I'm really glad I'm talking to you?
He didn't know if he could have sounded cornier.
Sighing, he jumped into bed.
He'd just have to face her tomorrow.
Jyou had no other choice.
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How am I supposed to love if I'm not feeling loved?
Sora Takenouchi was thoroughly and utterly frustrated. Taichi wasn't functioning. Takeru was hopeless.
How far had the others sunk?
What about Mimi?
"Iori?"
The younger boy looked up at the redhead, and tried to look questioningly. His eyes told otherwise, signaling pity for the girl.
"What about…Mimi? Is she okay?" She whimpered worriedly, though she knew the answer already.
Iori look down. "She's…um…not doing so well. I caught a glimpse of her at school and from what Daisuke's told me, she's become…" He glanced up and caught her pleading expression. He sighed. "Well…bitchy. And I really don't wanna she her in the state she's in."
Sora's lip quivered, but she kept in control. She knew it was true. Iori never lied. At least, he never lied when he was in his normal state.
And Iori was as normal as he could get.
Sora sighed. Yamato squeezed her hand, which was in his, and she leaned on his shoulder. She needed all the support she could get.
And she needed all the love she could get.
She didn't know if Yamato loved her. He acted like it, he spoke like it, but he had never admitted it. She knew that Yamato, and all her friends, loved her in the dearly, friendly manner as she wished, but she needed that romantic love as well. She needed something besides the sibling and platonic love she had been receiving.
But Sora knew that in order to receive, one has to give.
She decided to push the issue away for now.
"Who do you think needs the most help right now?" she asked, her voice feeble.
"Taichi," Daisuke replied promptly. "I used to think that it may have been Ken, but I think that he only needs our reassurance. He'll be good. But Taichi…he needs everyone, especially Hikari and you two." He nodded at the couple.
Yamato nodded and sighed. "Do you think we should go and see if we can reach Koushiro? Or maybe Miyako?"
"Miyako, no," Daisuke answered, shaking his head. "We're going to need Mimi and Hikari for that. But I dunno about Koushiro. I haven't really spoken to him…since…well ever." Daisuke looked down, ashamed.
"It's okay," Sora remarked, comfortingly. "We'll go together. And who knows, maybe you'll finally get to be lectured by Izzy."
"Izzy?"
"Koushiro's nickname. Don't call him that though, he really hates it. We only call him that to get him annoyed. Or to get him to leave his damned laptop." Yamato grinned devilishly. "It works every time."
Iori smiled and Daisuke chuckled. Sora smirked.
She hadn't laughed, or done something resembling that action, in such a long time. And it felt good. Very good.
"Then I see no reason why we don't pay a visit to Koushiro first," Sora said, determined.
Daisuke bit his lip. "Well, that would work, if only we knew where he fucking was."
Yamato raised an eyebrow. "You lost him?"
"No! He ran away. Didn't you know that?"
Yamato looked to the ground. "No, I didn't."
Sora wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him on the cheek. She knew that Yamato was feeling guilty. She knew that he was going to soon blame himself.
"It's not your fault. You were too preoccupied. Its okay, we'll find him, together. We've got help, anyways."
Yamato sighed. "Yes, but that's not the point. I wasn't there. I'm never there. When you needed me, when Koushiro and Taichi and Ken and Takeru and-"
She hushed him, placing a finger on his lips. He refused to meet her eyes, and so, she gave up, resorting to letting him figure it out himself.
She was getting slightly tired of all the mothering she had to do. Couldn't she just be a fucking kid?
Sora promptly ignored him, turning her attention towards the younger two.
"Do you guys have any clues or ideas of where he could be?"
"Well…I think I have an idea, but I'm not sure…" Iori muttered, but loud enough for the room to hear.
"It's the best we've got. It's more than I've got," Yamato rebutted.
Sora rolled her eyes.
She continued to ignore her boyfriend.
Who she loved.
Or she thought she loved.
She didn't know anymore.
But that wasn't the point. She needed to help find Koushiro. With Koushiro alright, it would be much easier to bring around Jyou and maybe even Mimi, Miyako, and Ken.
And Taichi.
Sora felt a pang in her stomach.
Taichi was her best male friend. He was her first male friend. The first guy that didn't have cooties.
She needed him. She needed his friendship.
She needed his love. His platonic love.
She sighed.
As Sora took in deep breathes, she knew it was going to be a painful morning tomorrow.
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Which is the right path now?
Jun Motomiya was so confused.
Daisuke hadn't come home yet. She suspected it was due to the messed up friends of his.
But Jun didn't have time to waste on her brat-of-a-brother.
Shuu had broken up with her. And she was devastated,
She didn't know what to do. She felt shallow for being so depressed. And yet, she knew she wasn't that sad. She felt…alive. She felt free.
But she felt as if her life was shit. She felt that nothing could be worse.
But Jun wasn't shallow or stupid or conceited. She was a smart and genuine girl.
And so she felt like dirt.
Jun shook her head. She couldn't waste time wallowing in self pity. She needed to fall asleep. She knew she would feel better in the morning.
And so, she fell asleep, feeling slightly empty.
It was as if she was missing something.
Jun felt as if she was missing a part of herself.
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Who can possibly help me?
Miyako Inoue tried to fall asleep. Her dreams, however, were so happy and unreflective of her current mood, she felt sick thinking of them.
It was as if her dreams were trying to show her that she was just hiding the happiness inside herself.
It was as if she was trying to be depressed. As if there was nothing left in her that all she could do was to be depressed.
Miyako hated the feeling.
She hated all feelings.
Her eyes looked up at the gloomy ceiling in her room.
A crashing noise from the living room caught her attention.
Rolling her eyes, she decided to ignore it. Her siblings were always getting into trouble. It was nothing new or exciting. It was nothing she needed to involve herself with.
She turned on her side, facing the blank, white wall. She imagined pictures and images floating and gliding across.
She was hanging out with her friends. She was eating dinner with her family. She was happy with herself. She was on her computer, fixing something, having fun. She was enjoying herself.
Images of how her life used to be, of how it should be, glittered in her mind.
She wanted to scream in agony. She wanted to scream in pain. She wanted to scream in guilt.
She couldn't do this to herself. She needed to free herself. She needed to be the idealistic woman she used to be.
She needed to be independent again. She needed her personality back.
She was sinking. And fast.
Miyako covered her eyes with her palms, and she felt her eyes vibrating against them. She knew they were red.
She tried to swallow the salvia that had gathered in her throat, and she felt her vocal cords go numb. They had been inactive for such a long time.
And that was just the irony. Miyako, the loudest, most outspoken person, had vocal cords that were numb due to inactiveness.
It was just so stupid.
Miyako knew that she couldn't cure herself overnight.
She needed help. She needed her friends.
Her family couldn't help her at this point. She needed to be healthy to talk to them. She needed her friends the help her break out of the prison she had set herself in.
So she sat in her room, waiting. She waited for her friends who she knew were going to come.
And she knew Daisuke would be there too.
Daisuke. She needed Daisuke more than anyone else. She needed his courage and his determination. His loyalty and stupidity at times were what she needed.
She needed him.
She loved him.
And she didn't know if she could tell him that anymore.
It was the simple love of the idiot that had caused her to go into hiding into her room. Her love had made her cowardly. She couldn't face him or anyone else.
She needed Hikari and her kind words. She needed Mimi and her overreactions. She needed Sora and her comforting arms.
She needed Daisuke and his empowering gaze.
Miyako sat up, and closed her eyes.
She was going to wait for the.
She knew they were going to come. Miyako was sure about it.
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What am I going to do?
Mimi Tachikawa was shocked. He was coming there.
Jyou Kido was coming there.
She was scared. She was afraid. She didn't want him to see her. She wanted to talk to him. She wanted to see him. But she couldn't be able to face him if he saw what she had become.
And he had said that he had changed. She couldn't think of a way that he could have changed that made him look bad. But he had done them to impress a girl.
That wasn't like the Jyou she had known. That wasn't like the Jyou she had liked.
She didn't want to think of the way she felt of Jyou as love. She didn't want to break her own heart, falling for a guy who was only a ghost of his former self. She wanted to see him as he was now so she could judge him-
No. She wanted to judge him. She had fallen back to bad habits. She wouldn't judge Jyou for what he was on the outside. Only on what he was inside. If he was still the reliable, superstitious, lovable, goof he was before, then…
She didn't know. She didn't know if she would allow herself to love him.
She loved him. She knew it. She just didn't want to admit it to herself or to anyone else.
Least of all, him.
How can I face him like this? How can I face him when I don't even know what the hell I wanna to do with myself?
Mimi looked around her. Her room was a mess. She decided that she could clean it tomorrow so that it looked somewhat presentable.
She lay back on her bed, and using the remote she had been given by her parents a while back, she turned off the lights.
Surrounded by darkness, she could see the moon shine through the blinds of her window. It was comforting in a way, assuring her that no matter how dark it gets, even if you made it that way, there'll be some sort of light shining through.
She sighed.
Mimi didn't know how much more she could take. Next, she'll probably learn that Sora's on drugs. Or even worse, that Miyako was acting suicidal.
She wouldn't be able to handle it.
She couldn't handle learning Jyou wasn't acting Jyou-like.
It scared her. She was shit scared.
She squeezed her eyes shut, and tried to clam her mind down. Tomorrow would be a big day for her. She was going to meet Jyou face-to-face. She planned to call all her friends. She wanted to see them too.
As she slowly fell asleep, Mimi waited anxiously for dawn.
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When will this end?
Taichi Yagami was fast asleep. His restless body tossed and turned. His mind, however, was void of dreams or nightmares.
He did this to himself.
Three months. It had only taken three months for Taichi to become rebellious. He used to be disciplined and loyal son. He would listen to his parents. Occasionally he would get mad at them or wouldn't follow something they said, but it was normal.
He used to be normal. He wasn't normal anymore. He had turned into the lonely and depressed person who he had feared to become. He used to take every measure to prove to himself that he was happy. He would prove that he content with life. He knew people loved him. He had amazing friends who cared. He had an excellent sister who was fun and who he loved. He had a loving and caring family.
But he threw it all out. For independence.
He thought he was being courage. He thought he was doing the right thing. He thought it was to live up to his potential. He didn't realize that independence comes with maturity.
And Taichi was very immature. Everyone knew that. Except for Taichi himself.
He thought he was the king of the world. He thought he was the grand ruler of everything living.
He had infinite pride. He had a swollen ego. He was vain.
He was everything you weren't supposed to be.
And Taichi didn't have a clue.
He thought he was the best example of a teenager. Independent and free, smart and brave, kind and gentle.
He was none of that. He needed the support of his sister. He needed Koushiro and Jyou to help him with homework. He needed his friends to help him do anything. He yelled and shouted at his parents.
He was in any way empathic.
But if there was one quality that Taichi still held, it was love.
He still loved his sister. He still carried protective and love for Hikari.
And even if he denied it himself, he loved his friends. He cared about them, deep within himself. He just didn't realize it.
He was shrouded by a cloud of angry. He believed that the world was against him. But in reality, everyone was with him. For every step he walked and for every word he spoke, he had someone with him. Someone was always with him, supporting him, guiding him, caring for him.
But he just didn't know it.
Wallowing in the puddle of ignorance, Taichi slept.
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Where am I supposed to go?
Koushiro Izumi was clueless. He didn't know anything. He felt as if all the knowledge he had once held had leaked out. He didn't even know if he knew how to speak anymore.
He looked at himself. His orange pajamas were ripped at the knees. He didn't know how that had happened, only that it did. His red hair sprinkled his shoulders. He was shedding. Like a dog.
He didn't know what shampoo he had been using to cause it.
He really didn't know any damn thing.
And it was terrifying for him.
He wanted to be in control of his brain. He wanted to know things. He wanted to be fucking curious.
Not only was it scaring him, it was so damn frustrating. He was pissed.
Sighing, Koushiro moved off his bed. He couldn't sleep, and there was no point in trying.
It was when he was stretching that he heard the knocks on the door to his apartment. Raising his eyebrow, he cracked open his door.
He saw his mom, who happened to be awake, wake over to the door and open it. Koushiro rolled his eyes when she jumped aside and invited them in, grinning widely.
He felt a smile creep on his face. Surprised, Koushiro touched his lips.
Why the hell am I smiling?
He couldn't debate the fact when four teenagers walked inside. Mrs. Izumi directed them to his room, and he jumped back.
In walked Daisuke, who seemed to be leading the. Both he and Yamato, who was right behind the goggle-wearer, wore determined looks. Sora slipped in after them, her face filled with worry. Iori quietly stood beside them.
"What the hell are you doing here at," he turned over to look at his clock, "12:30 in the morning? What if I was asleep?"
Yamato rolled his eyes. "You weren't, so it doesn't really matter, now does it?"
Koushiro stuck out his tongue. Shocked, he covered his mouth. He stepped back.
"What's…what's happening to me? I don't know why I'm doing things, or how they happened. It's as if…my body…my body's acting on its own." He looked into Yamato's eyes. "Yamato…"
Sora stepped forward and pushed me gently into my bed. "Izzy, you need sleep. Just rest."
He moaned at her addressing him by his nickname. "My name's Koush-,"
"I know what your name is. It doesn't matter right now. Just sleep, okay? And do you mind if we spend the night?"
The question was obviously planned, for no one else seemed surprised.
Koushiro nodded. "Uh...sure. Let me just make sure it's okay with Mom."
Daisuke smirked, happily. "Oh, she already said it was okay."
The genius ran his fingers through his fiery red locks. He pointed to the closet. "Sleeping bags and such are over there."
As the others turned their backs to him to retrieve the stuff, he observed himself, surprised. He hadn't felt so comfortable in such a long time.
"Hey, Koushiro?"
He looked up to find Iori's brown eyes looking at him, confused.
"Yeah?"
"I thought you ran away."
Koushiro looked down again. "I did. I came back. I thought Mom or somebody would have told you guys."
"Well, they didn't."
Daisuke had a bundle of blankets and begun to lay them out on the floor. Koushiro raised his eyebrow.
"Mom's allowing you to sleep in a room full of guys?" he asked Sora. She shrugged.
"She didn't say anything. Its okay I guess. Their room is just across the hall."
"Oh god, graphic images." Daisuke covered his eyes in mock disgust. Iori rolled his eyes.
"Oh, grow up," he teased.
Koushiro got up from his bed. "Hey, uh, Sora, if you want, you can take the bed. I'll sleep on the floor."
"Izzy, sit down. I'll sleep on the floor, its fine. You need sleep. You can't even remember that you're fucking smart. You need sleep."
Koushiro sat back down without protest, even though he felt guilty about it.
Finally, everyone was settled. And as everyone lay down and Yamato turned off the lights, he felt at peace.
Koushiro was glad he could at least know that these people were his friends.
--------------------
Why is my life so fucking confusing?
Takeru Takashi couldn't believe it. He touched his lips. He looked around. Everything seemed real. It didn't feel like a dream.
He looked into her ginger eyes, and saw them glimmer. He could have just held her in his arms forever.
He was surprised. Looking into her eyes, he saw something that he had lost.
Hope. Hope radiated from her. Her eyes, her lips, and her entire body spoke only of hope.
Takeru flinched. She pulled him into a hug.
"Please. Don't give up. You're my hope. I need you, Takeru. Please, 'Keru. Hope, just please, just hope," she whispered into his ear.
Takeru whimpered. Her voice made him shiver. Everything about her made him want to hope. He took her hands and squeezed them gently.
"No, Hikari. 'Kari, you're my hope. You're the embodiment of hope. I'm supposed to have all the hope in the group, but I couldn't…I've given up, Hikari. But now…I'm not so sure."
She smiled, and he pulled her into a hug. When he released her, she looked at him.
"Takeru…"
"Yeah?"
She looked down, sighing. "Takeru…can I spend the night? Taichi…he'll…uh…"
He shook his head, grinning. "It's fine. I have a spare room, but I should probably call Yamato…"
She nodded. He showed her to the adjacent room, and she smiled gratefully at him. He returned the smile.
As she closed the room behind her, he picked up the phone. Quickly, he dialed the cell phone number that Yamato had made sure he knew by heart.
"Hello?"
"Yamato? It's Takeru."
"Oh hey. Hey, I'm kinda going to be spending the night out. So…um…take care of yourself."
"Oh. Hikari's actually going to be spending the night. And you'll be at Sora's then?"
"Koushiro's. Daisuke, Sora, and Iori are with me. And make sure you don't hurt her."
Takeru sighed. Yamato was, at times, almost as protective of Hikari as Taichi.
"Don't worry, she'll be fine."
"I hope so."
Takeru flinched at his words, and Yamato must of sensed it, because he added, "Takeru…we're all kinda messed up right now. Just please stay positive. We'll get through this. All of us will, together."
Takeru sighed once more. "I know, Yamato, I know. Love ya, bro."
"Love ya too. Toodles."
He hung up. Slowly, he walked to his room.
As he turned off the lights on the way to his bed, he suddenly realized how tired he really was. And all because of one simple kiss.
One simple, yet exciting kiss.
And it was all that worthwhile.
With that, Takeru snored the night away.
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How is it that everyone else is getting better, but I feel like I'm getting worse?
Daisuke Motomiya lay on the ground. He was intrigued by the fact that Koushiro had come home on his own accord. They didn't even have to find him. But he was acting as if someone had wiped his memory clean. But it wasn't his memory. It was all his knowledge. The things that made Koushiro…Koushiro.
It was what made him unique.
And Daisuke liked unique people.
But he knew that he was supposed to be friends with everyone before this famine of depression kicked in. But somehow, he felt that with every person they un-fucked, the closer he got to the group.
It was as if the future of his friendships with everyone depended on getting everyone together. And getting everyone to be slightly normal.
He shifted over to face the other way. He could see Iori's face. His eyes were closed, but Daisuke could tell from his breathing that he wasn't asleep yet. Daisuke looked over at Yamato. The blonde had his arm around Sora, and both were fast asleep.
He sighed. They needed to be alone for sometime. When they went to get someone else tomorrow, he promised himself to allow them to be alone for a while to settle themselves out.
He couldn't believe Iori lied to him.
He looked back at the younger boy. He looked as if he had fallen into a deep slumber, but Daisuke knew better. He guessed that the other brunette had learned to feign sleep after the immense practice.
He rolled his eyes, and distracted himself with the décor in the room. It was seething of computer-ness and technology. It just spoke "Koushiro".
Actually, it just spoke of "Izzy".
Daisuke grinned inwardly. He was surprised that the nickname just…fit so well.
He shut his eyelids, and calmed his mind. He was tired. It had been a long day.
From yelling to Ken, to talking to Takeru. To slapping Mimi, to finding Iori. To speaking with Yamato and Sora, to visiting Koushiro.
And finally, he got some much needed rest.
But he knew there was still so much to do.
Takeru had spoken to Yamato, informing him that Hikari was sleeping over. Meaning that Taichi was no where near her. Meaning that it would easier to talk them both.
So he had to go to Takeru's apartment. There, he could probably talk to Takeru and Hikari, but he was pretty sure that they were alright. From there, they would probably visit Ken. By the time they were done with him, it would have been lunch. If luck was on their side, they may run into Mimi and Jyou somewhere. And then there was Miyako. And finally, Taichi. He would be the toughest.
But then, there was Daisuke. Daisuke shifted once more.
Daisuke didn't feel happy. He felt satisfied that everyone was slowly on the path of recovery. But it was no where near to where they needed to be.
Daisuke squeezed his eyelids. He wanted to fall asleep so badly.
He willed himself to sleep.
And slowly, consciousness slipped from him.
Daisuke was fast asleep
--------------------
But Daisuke Motomiya was wrong.
Takeru Takashi was wrong.
Koushiro Izumi was wrong.
Taichi Yagami was wrong.
Mimi Tachikawa was wrong.
Miyako Inoue was wrong.
Sora Takenouchi was wrong.
Hikari Yagami was wrong.
Yamato Ishida was wrong.
Ken Ichijouji was wrong.
And Iori Hida was wrong.
They were all wrong. They couldn't have been further from the truth.
They all thought that being together would help them. They thought that each other's love and qualities would help them return to reality, to sanity, to normal.
But in actuality, it's themselves.
To be themselves, is all they need to do.
So tell them.
Be yourself.