Chapter 3.14: A Link to the Present

Link set off first, as he is a fast thinker and knew what to do. He honestly forgot what the actual objective was. He figured that he should therefore assume it had something to do with Pit. He is a Communist dastard after all, thought Link. Therefore, he deserved a good slamming into oblivion. Link decided to move around in the most efficient way he knew.

Side-jumping.

"HYA HUGH SHRAAAA HUH HUH HAH HAH HAAAAH HAAAAH SHRAA SYAAA HYAAAAAGH" said Link. The yelling helped him to concentrate.

After 10 minutes of jumping to the right, Link noticed Captain Olimar. He looked really depressed for some reason. Link decided to pause his jumping for a moment and check up on him.

"Hey there, Olimar, what's the problem.", asked Link.

"My life is going nowhere", said Olimar. He was still hurt by Link's comment from earlier. Link of course, had no idea of the repercussions his causal comment caused earlier. This was because Link is temporally confused. His constant travelling between worlds and time has had an effect on how he views things. The dude doesn't even know what's real. One day there's a moon, the next day there's a sun. It's very hard for Link to keep up with.

Link decided to make the worst possible suggestion anybody could have. "Hey Olimar, how about taking that sweet spaceship of yours for a joyride. I know it has some issues, but what's the worst that could ever happen. Nobody else drives around here, so you don't have to worry about hitting people." Link would soon learn that this was really a bad idea. Worse than the invention of the atomic bomb. Maybe worse than the creation of Sonic 06. No, still probably a better idea than that.

"That's a good idea. In fact, I feel a bit better now. Thanks Link.", said Olimar, shortly before climbing into his ship and flying around the mansion. Link started to think that maybe it was a bad idea. Unfortunately, his thoughts were interrupted by his best pal. And by that I mean Pit.

"Hey Link, shouldn't you be leaving by now. You really lack any chance of being successful in this tournament. I am, after all, totally superior to you.", said Pit, who was literally carrying Zelda for some reason. Zelda, once again, lacking any emotion in her face. Link was starting to get kinda freaked out about that. I mean, she should be showing SOME emtion, thought Link. Regardless, he needed to stop this commie jerk.

"Pit, fight me right here right now! Mano a not-exactly-Mano! No items! No excuses!", responded Link. He was pretty mad at this point.

"Nah, I'm just going to leave. Ta-ta!" Pit then started to fly away on a magic carpet with Zelda, despite his ability to fly. Maybe he thought it was more romantic, I dunno.

"NO!" yelled Link. "You can't just wimp out like that. We need to fight to the death. And then I'll kill you, but you'll come back stronger because of your dark evil powers. And then I'd have to summon the power of love to overcome your evils and destroy you for good! THIS IS NOT HOW I HAD PLANNED IT OUT! GET BACK HERE!"

It was too late. Pit was out of sight. Failing to do what he had wanted to, Link decided to see if either Ike or Captain Falcon has succeeded. He went back the way he came doing, of course, more side-jumps.

"SHEA HYA HYE HA HA HYAAA SHRAAA HA HA HYA HYAAAA HYAAA HUH HUH HEH SHRAAAA HYAAAAAGH!"

Did Ike or Captain Falcon succeed in their tasks?

Will Link ever find out what happened to Zelda?

Is Snake going to have to close down his popular restaurant?

Find out next time!