Time had passed since we last left out heroes. Ike got in, and so did everyone that mattered(minus Snake, and that's pretty bullshit). However, things calmed down and people needed hobbies.
Ike approached Link's desk one day and noticed his computer was open. He was writing a fanfic! Not just a fanfic, a black fic1(NOTE: Black fics are extremely racist translations of actual fics) It seems as though Link wanted to beat the record for the longest piece of English literature! But why? Ike didn't care, he wanted to see this through. He read the entire thing he had so far. Here is that story.
BEFORE ANYONE SAYS SOMETHING BAD ABOUT OCs...
This rap only gotz nuff a single OC all up in tha whole fic. Don't THINK dis OC came outta nowhere cuz there be a prequel ta dis fic so mah OC n' Lucario could be pimped (if you wanna read it). But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat da most thugged-out blingin aspectz of tha two is ghon be briefly shown up in here ta hit you wit a idea.
Also, it would make much mo' sense if you read "Da Bond of Aura" so you don't git a wack impression of dis OC (Chris). Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I taken precautions bout tha Gary Sues n' Mary Sues...
...Well, wit dat away...
Well, tha start of mah series begins now wit dis story. I hope you all trip off dis long rap bout tha struggle of a prolonged fight against tha Subspace Army… Basically, dis be a "if" version of what tha fuck would've happened if tha Smashers never defeated Tabuu tha second time they fought his muthafuckin ass.
I encourage all Brawl fanatics ta read on, enjoy, n' review.
Disclaimer: AuraChannelerChris don't own anythang up in dis rap n' future chaptas yo. Dude only owns his OC.
Chapta 1: START OF DISC 1: New Game
-Subspace-
Deep Inside tha Great Maze
It had been a long-ass battle fo' survival yo, but he managed ta stop tha imbecilez from defeatin his ass fo' real. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Tabuu, though, had been weakened durin tha battle fo' realz. As he floated along up in tha void of tha Subspace surrounded by darknizz n' swirlin purple n' blue colors, he reflected on tha disastrous end of tha battle.
Masta Hand had shown up right before Tabuu could terminizzle tha big-ass crew of Smashers fo' realz. As a last ditch attempt, tha omnipotent hand used his space-bendin powers ta recall each one of tha Smashers ta they ghettos, back tha fuck into tha past before they participated up in tha Brawl tourney n' tha war against tha Subspace Army yo. Dude then called Crazy-Ass Hand, n' both of dem escaped from Tabuuz clutches, effectually puttin a sudden end ta tha conflict fo' tha time being…
Unfortunately, not every last muthafuckin thang was right.
Masta Hand couldn't manage ta save certain Smashers. Roy, Pichu, n' Mewtwo had been capped by Tabuu up in tha ensuin battle. Furthermore, ROB seemingly betrayed dem all by sidin back wit Tabuu fo'sho. Well shiiiit, it became a huger disasta once Mista Muthafuckin Game & Watch had been caught once more.
There was mo' n' mo' n' mo' fo' realz. An unlucky Smasher was captured as well up in his cold-ass trophy-fied state. Masta Hand didn't manage ta save dat one Smasher, much ta his chagrin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Tabuu kept his ass as a prize yo, but da thug would use his unrequited help straight-up soon.
Tabuu grunted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. Well shiiiit, it felt like a empty victory against tha Smash Force yo, but his schmoooove ass could at least chillax n' recover his thugged-out lil' juice n' shiznit fo' realz. As he pondered bout what tha fuck ta do, a gangbangin' figure rolled tha fuck into view over tha cracked black floor of purple outlines. Dat shiznit was ROB, or rather, tha Ancient Minista bustin his clothes. Da robot was ridin' solo wit tha freshest threat tha universe faced yo, but there was complete n' absolute trust between tha two of em.
Da Ancient Minista looked up at his boss. "Lord Tabuu," his thugged-out lil' punk-ass fuckin started, "what is yo' next course of action?"
Tabuu remained silent fo' all dem minutes until da perved-out muthafucka spoke. "My fuckin next course of action…is ta mobilize tha army beyond dis realm," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "We managed ta seize tha land down below, even though I was weakened up in dis big-ass battle…"
Da minista looked down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "It be goin ta take you a shitload of time before yo' powers is back, right?" he asked.
"Sadly, dat is tha case," Tabuu holla'd nodding, his body glitchin a funky-ass bit. "But until then, no one can reach us. Well shiiiit, it is fucked up fo' anybody ta enta dis place knowin dat I rule it… I'ma musta up mah juice ta create a ideal place fo' our base of operations. You, however, is ghon be up in charge of tha outside ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass."
Da minista looked up n' nodded. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Yes, I'ma gladly reassume control over tha facility," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Just give tha word n' we shall move out."
"I had mah eyes…on tha other ghettos," Tabuu holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Da ghettos dat dem accursed Smashers come from… I wish ta conquer dem all before they even gotz a cold-ass lil chizzle ta reunite n' assemble they force," he explained. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Once our crazy asses have gathered enough ghettos…we shall move on n' conquer tha freshest one there is…"
"What?" tha minista holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "…Oh…you mean tha rumored real ghetto…"
"Yes, you catch on straight-up fast," Tabuu holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "It be tha real ghetto dat is tha real prize behind tha entire war. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Those fools do not even know bout tha real ghetto existin yo, but they is missin tha big-ass picture…" Dude turned around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Ancient Minister, begin preparations ta invade one of they ghettos. Da facilitizzle is slowly bein taken up from tha Subspace. I want a Subspace Bomb ta be deployed up in Nesss ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass."
Da minista nodded n' turned around, movin away from his boss. "It shall be done," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd as he vanished up in tha darkness. "(…And so begins mah long struggle ta work wit dis thug once more…)" tha Ancient Minista thought ta his dirty ass. "(This aint tha time ta rebel again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I need…I need ta find tha right time…)"
Da Gatherin Saga
Begins
-Real World-
Chriss Doggy Den " Livin Room
March 9 " Sundizzle - Morning
Behind tha scenez of tha big-ass war up in another entirely different universe, tha real ghetto was safe from gettin tha fuck into a funky-ass big-ass fight of epic proportions. Life continued its pacific time of peace. Today, however, was a time of rejoicing.
A particular teenager wit a funky-ass big-ass secret hidden inside tha wallz of his semi-luxurious doggy den entered his home, carryin a funky-ass bag holdin a game he purchased dat straight-up same day. It make me wanna hollar playa! Dat shiznit was tha release date of tha game "Supa Smash Bros. Brawl", n' da thug was pimped outly lookin forward ta play it along wit a straight-up special thug whoz ass took residence up in his fuckin lil' doggy den half a year ago yo. Dude had paid tha reservation up in full as soon as tha announcement came ta tha internizzle n' tha general media.
Yo, sighing, tha teen smiled ta his dirty ass n' looked round his house, tryin ta find his special guest…
Yo muthafucka, I be Chris. I be a 16 year-old teen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass is gettin dis so far, right, biatch? Okay, I be just makin sure. I be a 16 year-old. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I have short black hair, n' you could say dat I look Hispanic cuz of tha color of mah skin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Truth is, I AM Hispanic yo, but yet Hoes know mah name up in tha U.S., specifically Los Angeles, California, up in a doggy den where I rule by mah lonesome cuz of some…rather fucked up decisions I've done up in tha past…
...Well, not exactly alone…
I have one of mah thugs special here whoz ass has taken me up from mah wack curse of solitude... That one of mah thugs is straight-up, straight-up special cuz he not a thug you'd expect ta find here round tha hood…or fo' dat matter, up in tha entire ghetto itself.
…Letz rap bout me before you decizzle ta hog dat person, aiiight, biatch? Firstly, let me rap all dis bullshit. I be a Honor High School Student whoz ass manages ta keep a funky-ass balanced game wit studyin n' playin vizzle games. I be a big-ass vizzle game fanatic yo, but I look beyond vizzle games. By that, I mean dat I care bout tha ludd n' effort put tha fuck into every last muthafuckin single game I have eva looted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I trip off tha rap n' tha charactas besides tha gameplay. In fact, I learn so much bout tha joints shown up in some game dat inspire me ta find suttin' phat up in real game fo' realz. As you can tell, I be a high school hustla wit a everlastin trip ta discover what tha fuck I be phat at...
And thatz basically it bout mah dirty ass. I be a ordinary high school hustla livin a…pretty particular game cuz of dat thug I mentioned ta you…
Da teenager couldn't find tha thug up in his house. Lookin around, Chris shouted, "Lucario, I be hooome!"
On tha second floor of tha house, a gangbangin' figure entered all up in tha terracez entrizzle yo. His black feet touched tha white tilez on tha floor fo' realz. A deep, gruff voice then holla'd, "I be up here, Chris."
Hearin tha sound of footsteps rushin up, tha thug saw tha teen comin from tha stairs, all tha while flashin a lil' small-ass smile as his schmoooove ass carried wit his ass tha game dat schmoooove muthafucka had looted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! If tha thang had taken place half a year ago, Chris would have screamed all up in tha sight of a Lucario up in his crib fo' realz. Alas, dis was not tha case no mo'.
That special thug I mentioned be a Lucario…
Da teen n' tha Pokémon approached each other…and tha straight-up original gangsta looked up all up in tha towerin Pokémon lookin down at his ass wit a smile.
...And his thugged-out lil' punk-ass beyond special up in nuff ways than one.
First thangs first. Yo ass is surely wonderin how tha fuck a Lucario like dis one rocked up in dis ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Well… I have no clue how tha fuck it happened back then yo, but all up in tha start of Summer Vacations durin a wet-ass night, a lightnin bolt struck by DS down, n' from it, Lucarioz Poké Ball came out. Well shiiiit, it accidentally opened up n' he rocked up…sprawled over tha floor cuz dat schmoooove muthafucka had a gangbangin' fever n' shit. When I saw his ass tha last time, I was at a cold-ass lil complete loss of lyrics, n' I feared dat da thug would rip me apart… Luckily, bustin tha right decisions hustled mah crazy ass ta become acquainted wit his muthafuckin ass.
Dat shiznit was a long-ass struggle fo' me ta git his ass ta like mah dirty ass yo. Dude was a straight-up oblivious Pokémon whoz ass knew almost not a god damn thang bout game. Fortunately, dis Lucario can use telepathy ta rap yo, but his schmoooove ass can straight-up drop a rhyme wit his crazy-ass grill just fine. Well shiiiit, it don't mean he knows how tha fuck ta read, though cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. Durin nuff minutes up in tha past, I took it upon mah dirty ass ta look afta his ass by teachin Lucario how tha fuck ta live game while we tried ta find a way back ta his home. Our thugged-out asses had fuckin shitloadz of funk moments together n' shit. I vividly remember his wild lil' first shower n' his wild lil' first steak… But still, he longed fo' his fuckin lil' trip ta reunite wit his bangin real trainer…
When tha dizzle da thug was debatin his dirty ass what tha fuck ta do bout his crazy-ass muthafuckin issue dat was bein stuck up in dis ghetto…I cried out, n' afta a while, tha pimpin' muthafucka turned round and…he also cried. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Without warning, he embraced mah crazy ass n' yelled out, "I don't wanna leave you like this muthafucka! You're…yo ass is mah real trainer!"
…And eva since dat fateful day, mah solitary game chizzled forever fo' tha mo' betta n' shit. I was a teen whose muthafathas hit dat shiznit away from home ta assist blingin corporations wit revolutionary ideas. I didn't give a fuck much bout what tha fuck they do yo, but they almost never at home. That made thangs easier fo' me ta raise tha special Lucario as…my loyal Pokémon.
Yo ass see, dis Lucario aint normal… Dat punk a 6'07" foot tall Lucario. I be just 5'05". My fuckin head only reaches tha murderous weapon dat was his chest spike.
"Oh no!" Chris holla'd as he accidentally let go of tha bag, slippin down tha white couch.
Lucario merely stared all up in tha direction tha item slipped down tha fuck into yo. Dude bent down a lil' bit n' lifted tha couch wit a single hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da couch was heavy ta carry fo' two playas yo, but tha Lucario didn't struggle a single bit. "There it is," Lucario holla'd, lookin all up in tha bag.
…And dis Lucario just so happens ta have Herculean strength. For reasons unknown, he is surely mah ghettoz strongest bein there is. Mundane tasks like fuckin cuttin down logs wit a axe n' do some furniture redecoration was easily taken care of wit a single hand of his. Despite havin tha strength of obliteratin mah doggy den up in a single punch (I don't even know if his schmoooove ass can do dat much yo, but do you want me ta smoke up, biatch? Fat chance), he a incredibly likeable person.
Dude just aint gots tha strength of a thousand men. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dat punk straight-up gots a tough body of steel under a cold-ass lil coat of fluffy blue n' yellow fur (yes, I holla'd fluffy. Don't you look weird at me). I remember how tha fuck a funky-ass brick fell tha fuck on top of his head from tha third floorz roof ta tha garden outside, n' he just kept starin me while dat brick broke apart tha moment it landed on his head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Morbidly enough, we was rappin' dat dizzle n' da ruffneck didn't stop when holla'd brick fell tha fuck on his muthafuckin ass yo. Dude just kept rappin' n' rubbed tha dust on his head.
On top of that, Lucario knows four moves: Force Palm, ExtremeSpeed, Double Crew, n' tha eva so devastatin Aura Sphere, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Coupled up wit his thugged-out almighty strength, these moves became…whatz tha word, biatch? Broken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Force Palm busted out a rather lil' small-ass blow yo, but just you wait until dat thang goes off. Well shiiiit, it looked pretty small, yet its intensitizzle was deadly fo' realz. A tree would shatta tha fuck into pieces fo' realz. And then there was tha Aura Sphere, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. If da thug wanted, his schmoooove ass could cook up some fuckin monstrously big-ass Aura Spheres n' charge dem up in two secondz flat.
In a ghetto where there be no Pokémon n' battles, Lucario had no chizzle but ta trip off game wit mah dirty ass. We never complained, though cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. We straight-up trip off every last muthafuckin single second of our time together… Oh, did I mention da thug was a gamer, biatch? I taught his ass how tha fuck ta be one fo' realz. And todizzle, we was goin ta waste away our time playin Brawl.
Thatz bout it…
Chris sighed n' went ta pick up tha bag. Once steppin up from tha couchz shadow, tha teen saw tha towerin Lucario puttin tha couch back down ta tha floor yo. Dude looked at his cold-ass trainer n' shit. "Did yo dirty ass find it?" Lucario asked.
Chris then took up tha item from tha bag n' placed tha game up in front of his muthafuckin ass. "Yep, I gots dat shiznit son!" Dude smiled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Now we can play dat shit... Oh god, we gotta do it now before tha shows start later," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I be sooo buckwild ta play dis up in yo' faaaaaace!"
Lucario nodded n' looked ta tha game. "Since you was dis excited...hmm?" da perved-out muthafucka stared all up in tha gamez case. "…Huh…"
Da teen raised a eyebrow once da perved-out muthafucka saw Lucario givin tha gamez box a hard look. "...Lucario?" da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Lucario, whatz wrong, biatch? Yo ass is glarin all up in tha box…"
"...There is suttin' wack wit dis game," Lucario holla'd, starin all up in tha box.
"Wrong?" Chris axed confused.
"I don't give a fuck what tha fuck it is...but it feels evil."
"...Were you watchin TV durin tha whole night again, biatch? I holla'd at you not ta do dis shit."
"I-ah-no..." Lucario blushed, bobbin his head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "But Chris…"
Through Lucarioz eyes, his schmoooove ass could peep a purple aura comin up from tha straight-up box. This Lucario was a masta of auras. Unlike tha aiiight Lucario stated up in tha descriptions, tha Herculean Pokémon easily tracked down auras beyond a hundred miles. Not dat there was any use ta dis highly pimped sixth sense. Lucario only peeped from afar how tha fuck Chriss game pimped up in high school. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat only tha livin could exude auras.
An item exudin a thugged-out dark aura was not normal.
"There is definitely a thugged-out dark aura on dat box…" Lucario added, shruggin all up in tha aura tryin ta reach up fo' em.
"Hmm…" Chris looked worried. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Well, I don't straight-up feel anythang evil from tha box. I believe you, though," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "But how tha fuck can a insignificant item like dis give up a thugged-out dark aura?"
"Perhaps we shouldn't put it tha fuck into tha console," Lucario holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I don't wanna smoke up what tha fuck could happen if suttin' was ta come outta dat shit."
Chris was used ta havin a supernatural Pokémon accompany his ass all tha time. Dat shiznit was half a year ago dat they kicked it wit yo, but there wasn't anythang else besides Lucario dat happened until his thugged-out lil' punk-ass brought up tha unbelievable fact dat a game box had a thugged-out dark aura. "That dark aura is red, right?" Chris asked.
"Yes," Lucario holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I be tryin ta pierce all up in it ta smoke up mo' bout its reason ta have such thang yo, but… I can't find anything."
"That's…impossible…" Chris muttered. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Yo ass be a masta of auras yo, but you can't discern anythang from this?"
Lucario looked down up in shame. "I be sorry," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Maybe I need ta hone mah aura game even more…"
"…No," Chris holla'd, makin Lucario peep his muthafuckin ass. "Yo ass be a masta n' shit. There just has ta be a phat reason behind dis box givin you dat evil aura… Yo ass know what, I be thinkin we should just go ahead wit dis n' try it up ourselves," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Lucario looked a lil' bit dismayed all up in tha proposal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. "Maybe yo ass is imaginin thangs…"
"Fuck dat shit, I be not," Lucario holla'd, lookin a lil' bit straight-up n shit. "But maybe I be hallucinatin a funky-ass bit. I mean, dis is just a game…"
Chris forced a smile. "Then letz git all up in mah room n' boot dis up," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I be soopa-doopa lookin forward ta play as a Lucario."
Lucario grinned a funky-ass bit. "That make two of us."
"Dibs on tha blue one!"
"What, biatch? I don't like tha other palettes. They make mah species look silly…" As tha two debated on choosin tha right color palettes, tha dark aura dat tha box contained lingered up in tha air…
Chriss Room
Chriss room on tha straight-up original gangsta floor was straight-up clean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da teen, though, was not tha one whoz ass cleaned it up. Dat shiznit was his fuckin lil' dutiful Lucario whoz ass took it upon his dirty ass ta put game cases away on tha lower left corner of tha room on a pile of ordered stackz of vizzle games, next ta tha closed closet. Da bed on tha upper right corner was neatly made up, facin sideways all up in tha HD TV on tha upper left corner of tha room. Da two doggy den gangstas entered tha room. Lucario sat down on tha bed as Chris went over ta bang tha disc inside his Wii. Da Aura Pokémon turned tha TV on.
Da box stopped radiatin tha ominous aura, Lucario could tell. But now, tha dark aura came from tha disc itself. "See, biatch? Nothang seems evil or something..." Chris holla'd as tha pimpin' muthafucka then banged tha disc inside tha Wii. Da TV came ta game wit tha thugged-out warning. Grabbin a nearby Wiimote, Chris went ta sit next ta Lucario yo. Dude moved tha pointa over its game channel screen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "...Seriously, not a god damn thang is happening." And then da perved-out muthafucka selected tha game screen.
Irony was on Lucarioz side fo' realz. As soon as Chris wanted ta boot tha game, tha Wii turned off.
"…" Chris remained silent as Lucario looked down at his muthafuckin ass. "I holla'd at you before dat suttin' aint right," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd.
"Huh, biatch? Why aint tha game starting?" Chris holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Yo ass don't straight-up be thinkin dat tha evil aura you saw has suttin' ta do wit this, right?"
Lucario nodded as da perved-out muthafucka holla'd, "It must be dat dark auraz bustin."
There surely was some logic behind dis dat didn't involve tha dark aura. Chris rubbed his chin as he pondered on tha issue. "Maybe dem rumors bout tha disk bein made as a thugged-out double-layer disc was true. I be thinkin I put mah Wii up in tha wack place where dust gathers da most thugged-out..."
Lucario could peep dat his cold-ass trainer didn't wanna believe it, so tha pimpin' muthafucka tried ta support tha thought. "...I hope so..." Lucario muttered.
"Thatz weird. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Let me check dat shit." Chris approached ta tha Wii. "...Hmm..." Dude approached his bangin right ear ta dig tha disc spinnin inside. "...Therez a weird sound comin from within tha Wii..." And suddenly, a purple light came from where tha disc slot was. Chris looked at it n' Lucario glared all up in tha light. "Yo, whatz tha big-ass deal here, biatch? I never saw a mention of a purple light up in tha manual." Dude was suddenly pulled back by a growlin Lucario. Da Aura Pokémon put his cold-ass trainer under his fuckin left arm as da perved-out muthafucka flossed his wild lil' fangs all up in tha light. "L-Lucario, whatz wrong?"
"Da dark aura is growing!" Lucario holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I don't give a fuck whatz goin ta happen yo, but we betta brace ourselves!"
Chris was so unfamiliar ta listenin ta such a order dat he looked frightened yo, but wit a Lucario capable of carryin a cold-ass lil couch wit a single hand, he felt protected. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. "Why ar-" Da light shone brightly n' a gangbangin' force pushed Chris back yo. Dude was bein held by tha big-ass Lucario, so he avoided bein flung away recklessly. "U-ugh!"
"Is you all right?" Lucario asked, lookin down at his muthafuckin ass.
"What up in tha ghetto is goin down here?!" Chris axed up in terror as da perved-out muthafucka saw tha light illuminatin tha whole room. "Please, don't let it explode cuz there be no Wiis up in tha store!"
"Would you stop mindin dem thangs?" Lucario axed enraged. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "This is straight-up serious muthafucka! I can't even tell what tha fuck be happenin!"
"At least I take care of every last muthafuckin thang here," Chris holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude was desperately tryin ta distract his dirty ass from tha potentially hazardous purple light. "Not like you, Mista Muthafuckin I-Break-The-Wiimote-Because-I-Failed-To-Pass-The-Final-Boss!"
Yo, suddenly, purple lights came from tha disc n' they started ta fly up in a cold-ass lil circle up in tha middle of tha room. Both of dem looked shocked all up in tha whole event goin down just up in tha morning, n' up in they room. Chris looked horrified while Lucario growled menacingly all up in tha lights, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Not even tha dawnz light comin from tha window could overcome tha bright, ominous lights.
"Okay, dis is gettin pretty insane..." Chris holla'd wit a gulp. "First, mah Wii goes nuts, then, it shines, then, it blasts...g-ghosts out, biatch? Is dis some kind of a freshly smoked up application I never heard of before?"
Da Aura Pokémon frowned at his cold-ass trainerz suspicions. "I holla'd at you," Lucario fuckin started as he growled silently all up in tha lights, "…there was suttin' wack wit dat shiznit son!"
Yo, surely, Lucario could do suttin' useful naaahhmean, biatch? Strength was not a option yo, but like his schmoooove ass could manipulate tha lights rockin his thugged-out aura. "W-well, do suttin' bout dem lights muthafucka! If mah muthafathas eva come back n' peep these abnormalities, what tha fuck do you be thinkin they will say?" Chris ordered n' asked.
"Too bad."
"W-why is you sayin that?"
"Those lights aren't lights, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Those is auras."
"O-okay, good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Now, git rid of them!"
All tha purple "lights" fired ta all tha vizzle game of Chriss collection n' fuckin started ta glow up in a purple aura before fadin out. Both of dem stared all up in tha game dat shone purple from time ta time. With tha lights havin seemingly merged tha fuck into tha stack of games, tha intense purple light dimmed down all muthafuckin day. It make me wanna hollar playa! Da two exchanged looks before starin all up in tha collection.
"...Lovely," Chris holla'd wit a funky-ass bugged out look afta his bangin room returned back ta its aiiight color wit tha sunz lights shinin all up in tha window. "My fuckin game surely gots corrupted by purple auras from a freshly smoked up game I just looted from mah local store... I be NOT gettin all of dem all up in tha internizzle either."
Lucario groaned wit a gangbangin' frown. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "...I holla'd at you, suttin' was wack wit dat game you got," Lucario pointed out.
"And yet you didn't do a thang..."
Lucario looked ashamed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I be sorry…"
Da teen would feel guilty just seein tha bangin Lucario look down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Chriss eyes looked apologetic while his fuckin lips formed a lil' small-ass smile yo. Dude rubbed Lucarioz head wit care, makin tha Aura Pokémon look horny. Unlike other Lucario, dis one was horny bout dat his cold-ass trainer groomed his ass a lil' bit from time ta time. "It aint nuthin but all gravy," Chris reassured Lucario. "We goin ta git ta tha bottom of this… Maybe you can pull tha auras up from tha collection."
Da Aura Pokémon looked all up in tha collection n' held up his hands. Chris pulled his hand back n' saw tha big-ass Lucario glowin wit a intense blue aura. Much fo' they dismay, tha purple aura dat engulfed tha game disappeared as soon as Lucario tried ta pull dem out. "N-no…" Lucario muttered. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude didn't sense tha auras no mo', n' then his crazy-ass muthafuckin intense aura faded away. "They gots away…"
Chris looked pissed tha fuck off as he gots up n' approached tha Wii ta examine dat shit. "Oh, pimped out…" he muttered. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "It just feels like tha time you came ta dis ghetto, only now itz far worse n' confusing…"
Lucario nodded yo, but then, he felt a funky-ass blue aura emanatin from tha Wii itself. Bein unfamiliar wit dis aura, tha Aura Pokémon narrowed his wild lil' fuckin eyes. "Back away from dat thang," Lucario holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "A freshly smoked up aura surfaced…"
"What, biatch? Now dis Wii has a aura?" Chris axed n' Lucario nodded. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude looked all up in tha Wii wit a funky-ass bugged out look. "Good, dis machine may as well be corrupted...heavily corrupted...and mah game as well... Lucario, do you know what tha fuck dis means?"
"We gotta toss dem all ta tha trash?" Lucario axed as he gots closer ta tha vizzle games. "I don't want dem boxes explodin up in midnight if dat eva happens."
Da teen gasped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Yo ass BACK away from dem vizzle game now," Chris ordered. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I be NOT goin ta git dem all one by one. Those is mah vizzle game from mah entire game as well! T-they gotta be just fine!"
"Yo ass be askin dat afta we saw dem auras mergin tha fuck into yo' collection?" Lucario questioned, crossin his thugged-out arms below his chest spike. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sensin tha Wiiz aura bobbin, tha Aura Pokémon gasped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Chris, look out!"
Yo, suddenly, tha Wiiz disc slot was shinin again yo, but instead of purple, dat shiznit was a yellow light. Da teen gasped n' backed away from tha yellow light, grabbin his chest as if da thug was gettin a ass battle yo. His dutiful Lucario went over ta shield his muthafuckin ass. Lucario subconsciously was horny bout tha fact dat da thug was protectin his fuckin lil' dear trainer durin these confusin times yo, but da perved-out muthafucka shook tha thought away. Dat shiznit was far mo' blingin ta keep Chris safe.
Chris looked all up in tha light n' groaned loudly. "Aw, god, itz seriously messed up dis time!" da perved-out muthafucka holla'd.
Right after, tha yellow light vanished. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! As Chris blinked trippin yet again, Lucario could still peep tha blue aura engulfin tha Wii. "Da aura is still there, Chris," Lucario holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "It'd be dopest if you don't approach dat shit."
"...Lucario, hand mah crazy ass tha phone."
Grimacin all up in tha weird order, Lucario looked down at his muthafuckin ass. "Why?"
"I be callin Nintendo."
"..."
"Give tha phone!"
"..."
"Lucario!"
"...Chris, I don't be thinkin they know bout all dis bullshit..." Lucario holla'd, lookin away from his cold-ass trainer simple yet piercin glare. "What is tha chancez of dem knowin bout this?"
"Then let me call a pimp hunta or aura hunta o-" Chris shook his head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "What is I saying, biatch? They straight-up don't give a fuck bout all dis bullshit."
"There is no pimp huntas up in dis ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass...or anywhere," Lucario holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Chris gave his ass a awkward look. "Yo ass started it," Lucario blasted back yo. His trainer sighed.
Despite tha warnin Lucario had given earlier, tha duo approached curiously ta tha Wii. "...Well, do you be thinkin itz time ta git a freshly smoked up one?" Chris asked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "It aint nuthin but goin ta be a real drag gettin all dat time dropped on tha game we bigged up a hundred cement completion…"
"That would be fo' tha best," Lucario holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Besides, I do look forward ta replayin game up in yo' faaaaaace!"
Chris smiled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Thatz a straight-up sick thought," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "With you around, itz always bound ta be a enjoyable experience."
"GUARGH!" Lucario growled proudly n' nudged his crazy-ass muzzle against Chriss face. Da teen chuckled heartily as tha Aura Pokémon playfully rubbed tha tip of his nozzle on his black hair. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Chris then rubbed tha Aura Pokémonz chin wit affection. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da Lucario looked up wit eyes closed, growlin wit pleasure. Unlike nuff Lucario, dis one straight-up enjoyed tha scam of bein groomed as proof of they phat bond. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Well shiiiit, it gave his ass a bangin proud as a muthafucka feelin dat his schmoooove ass cherished all muthafuckin day.
Da two never saw dat tha Wii shook violently up in front of em. In slow motion, tha Wii suddenly blasted a gangbangin' faint image over tha aiiight crew. Once a funky-ass big-ass shadow loomed over them, tha two smilin charactas looked up just up in time ta peep two heavy figures appropriately crushin dem both on tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Whatever happinizz had taken place before was crushed down along wit em.
Under tha two foreign bodies, Chriss right hand stuck out, its fingers wide open as if tryin ta reach up fo' outside support. "I…I had a phat run…" Chris muttered under tha bodies.
Da bodies was not normal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. They weren't aiiight playas yo, but rather, two big-ass disembodied white gloves: a right gludd n' a left glove. From tha lookz of thangs, tha two gloves was pretty much kickin it n' kickin judgin tha fact both was groanin up in pain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da right gludd lied down on top of tha left glove, unaware dat they had seemingly capped tha only two ballaz of tha doggy den they had entered without previous warning.
"Where is we, brother?" tha left gludd under tha right gludd axed casually, "looking" round its surroundings. "Yo, guess what tha fuck son! We juiced it up ta tha real ghetto afta all! And here I was thankin we was goin ta end up somewhere nasty like a funky-ass bangin' sauna wit naked men."
Da right gludd on top floated up, lookin round tha room. Da walls had multiple postaz of nuff muthafuckin vizzle game charactas dat he knew straight-up well. "Oh, good," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "It be lookin like we gots tha fuck into tha right place all up in tha right time."
Da left gludd was lyin down upside-down on its back. "Peep dis out," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd as he felt rumblin under his body. "This room has a massagin floor!"
Da right gludd looked down at his muthafuckin ass. "Da floor aint even bobbin," he pointed up until a funky-ass bangin roar came under his companion. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude backed away all up in tha intensitizzle of tha roar, seein dat tha window behind his wrist shook. "What up in the…, biatch? That deep, gruff voice…"
"Soundz kinda familiar," tha left gludd holla'd as blue aura shone underneath its body. "But dis one soundz a hell deeper!"
"…Wait a minute," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd as he looked all up in tha blue aura down below. "What th-"
An infuriated Lucario stood up ta his wild lil' full height, liftin tha big-ass left gludd wit a gangbangin' flarin right hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Growling, tha Lucario tossed tha left gludd aside ta let his cold-ass trainer gasp fo' breath. "Air playa! Oxygen! How tha fuck much I missed you both..." Chris holla'd up in relief as he gots up wit his Lucarioz help.
Da two partizzles then stared at each other, fallin up in silence.
"…Oh…" tha right gludd stared long all up in tha towerin Lucario. "…Oh my…"
"…Goodness…" Chris muttered, starin up all up in tha floatin glove. "…I…"
There was no diggity. Chris n' Lucario saw before they eyes none other than Masta Hand n' Crazy-Ass Hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da two bosses was not even up in they minds, thankin other thangs dat took much mo' importance. Da two gloves had come up from Chriss own Wii fo' sure. There was no other explanation…
Then Chris remembered suttin' crucial. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. "...Wait a minute, aren't they supposed ta be bad?" he axed n' hid behind his Pokémon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. " LUCARIO!"
"GRRRRR!" Lucario growled furiously as his body caught up wit a bangin aura yo. His eyes even glowed yellow.
Masta Hand screamed up in a high-pitched voice as da perved-out muthafucka saw tha Lucario holdin up his open palm, bustin a rather big-ass Aura Sphere dat violently shook wit destructizzle juice n' shit. "AAH!" Masta Hand screamed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "C-quit trippin' up son! W-we're not bad, I swear!" Masta Hand pleaded. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "W-we're up in dire need of help! Please, don't let dat dawg of yours blast us!"
Dat shiznit was incredibly weird ta peep one of mah thugs like a funky-ass big-ass floatin hand beggin fo' mercy. Through his yellow eyes, Lucarioz grill opened a lil' bit as da ruffneck detected dat tha two hands' auras was blue instead of red. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat da ruffneck didn't wanna take any chances. Da Lucario couldn't read they thoughts as there was some sort of mind lock dat prevented his ass from dwellin up in they mindz yo. Dude could break dat lock apart if he put some extra effort yo, but dat shiznit was obvious ta his ass dat they had no ill intentions.
Thus, Lucarioz intense aura faded away fo' a second time along wit tha big-ass Aura Sphere, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Seein this, Chris asked, "Lucario, why did yo-?!"
"They have blue auras," Lucario interrupted.
"Blue auras…" Chris trailed off yo. Dude remembered dat Lucario taught his ass a lil' bit bout auras. Blue auras belonged ta phat people. Red auras belonged ta wack people. Therefore, if tha gloves had blue auras, it meant they was phat people… "They're…they good, then?"
"Yes!" Masta Hand holla'd, makin tha two peep his muthafuckin ass. "Geez, how tha fuck dirty we is dat there was another Lucario up in dis ghetto… But…" Dude stared all up in tha wary Lucario. "How tha fuck on earth did dis one git here?"
Feelin dat thang looked awkward, Chris sighed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I…I don't be thinkin dis be a phat place ta chat," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude felt unsure round tha two gloves inhabitin his house. "This be a straight-up mad confusin event ta me…"
"Huh, we be thinkin alike," Masta Hand holla'd, lookin all up in tha worried teen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "But it be lookin like itz goin ta be safe ta explain every last muthafuckin thang ta you two. I assume tha initial shock of havin a…bangin' Lucario like tha one you have make thangs easier fo' tha two of us."
"…Not straight-up," Chris admitted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. "Dude at least be lookin like a person. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass two, on tha other hand…"
Crazy-Ass Hand floated up, startlin tha teen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "Other hand, biatch? We've gots a second brother?" he asked, soundin excited.
Masta Hand chuckled nervously as tha duo stared at dem wit weird looks. "Before we move, let me rap this: he mah crazy brother," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Dat punk technologically tha only thug I can look afta ta avoid feelin alone, y'know yo. Dude drives me wild-ass nuff times yo, but we still brothers."
Crazy-Ass Hand turned round n' looked at em. "Oh, hello!" da perved-out muthafucka holla'd, forcefully bobbin Chriss hand wit two fingers. Lucarioz glare stiffened. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Sick ta hook up mah first human from tha real ghetto hommie! We gonna be dopest playaz alllll muthafuckin day."
His brutha slapped his wrist. "Quit that," dat schmoooove muthafucka hissed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "We need ta cook up a phat first impression."
"Whoopsie-daisy," tha crazy hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Sorry."
Masta Hand looked at dem wit a gangbangin' frown. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "Look, just don't git too close ta his ass or else you might experience severe massive damage one way or another," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Chris cautiously moved behind Lucario.
Livin Room
Da teen never thought dat dat shiznit was goin ta be possible ta have two mad unlikely guests up in his humble abode. If thangs weren't wild-ass wit Lucario, they was crazier wit two disembodied handz floatin round up in midair. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Chris closed tha curtains from all tha windows just up in case a unlucky thug wit a weak will happened ta scream they headz off. Then, Chris sat down on tha sofa while Lucario remained standin up at his side as both handz was up in front of em.
Masta Hand was admirin how tha fuck lustrous tha livin room looked like. On tha far left corner, there was a cold-ass lil chimney facin some couches n' a table, which was standin up in front of a funky-ass big-ass flat screen TV. On tha upper right corner, there was a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dinin room dat faced tha kitchen counta further up fo' realz. Along tha walls, nuff muthafuckin photos n' other decoratizzle furniture adorned tha light gray walls. "Oh, good," Masta Hand holla'd as his brutha sat down on his wrist on tha opposite couch dat faced tha duo. "I be aiiight ta know we gots tha one wit tha sick-lookin house."
"U-um, props," Chris holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I do mah dopest ta keep dis place clean while mah muthafathas is away…"
"Oh!" tha hand "nodded" his body. "Yo ass is one of dem who… I mean, I see," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "That kind of make thangs even easier."
Da teen nodded, interlacin his wild lil' fingers over his knees. "First off..." Chris fuckin started, "...my fuckin name be Chris, n' dis is Lucario." Lucario responded wit a silent growl. "Dude won't bust a cap up in yo thugged-out ass..." Chris reassured tha hands. Lucario sighed wit a lil' small-ass frown.
"Okay, sick ta hook up you," Masta Hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I be Masta Hand, n' dis here...is mah pretty crazy brother, Crazy-Ass Hand."
"Hell-o," Crazy-Ass Hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Don't mind if I take dis couch as mah bed."
Chris grimaced a funky-ass bit yo, but he knew thangs weren't goin ta stay like dis any longer n' shiznit yo. Dude saw dat both handz stared at his muthafuckin ass...if dat shiznit was easy as fuck ta tell dat apart. Their bodies was facin him, so dat schmoooove muthafucka had a gangbangin' feelin da thug was bein watched. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "...I don't give a fuck what tha fuck ta ask first..." Chris holla'd.
"C'mooooooon," Crazy-Ass Hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Yo ass have something, don't yo slick ass?"
"H-hmm..." Chris gots suttin' ta talk. "I gots something… Before you came here, there was dis weird event where purple auras came up from mah console…and then they entered mah vizzle game collection…" Dude raised a eyebrow. "Do you know anythang bout that?"
Masta Hand cleared his crazy-ass muthafuckin invisible throat before bustin lyrics. "...Those purple lights was surely tha Subspace Army spreadin they reach, tha culprits fo' invadin tha Smash Bros. Universe," he explained. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da two blinked at his muthafuckin ass. "Da disc you got, Chris, happened ta harbor a wide open universe dat had its own fair share of issues."
"What the…" Chris trailed off. "Yo ass mean ta say I just so casually picked some kind of corrupted copy at mah local store?" he asked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "How tha fuck do dat even make any sense?"
"Hello," Crazy-Ass Hand holla'd, "six-foot tall Lucario?"
"T-that…" Chris exchanged glances wit Lucario, "I-I admit we already went all up in suttin' of tha sort before yo, but dis is just too much!" da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "What is tha chances dat tha playas whoz ass manufactured dat single copy of tha game knew bout this?"
"I don't give a fuck bout that," Masta Hand holla'd, dismayin tha teen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "But tha thang is, thangs is happening. Well shiiiit, it was…how you say…destiny hustlin by itself."
"Oh, don't give me that…" Chris trailed off until da perved-out muthafucka saw dat Lucario was givin his ass a worried look wit his bangin red eyes. "…You…you believe up in dis kind of destiny, I imagine…"
Lucario nodded. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Yes…" da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Da two of our asses never found up how tha fuck I even came here."
"I…I guess you right…" Chris muttered, recallin tha vivid event from a half year ago. "…Still…this make even less sense…" Dude looked up all up in tha hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "It aint nuthin but just too much fo' me ta believe dat I be livin all up in all dis bullshit."
Masta Hand sighed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Look, Chris," his thugged-out lil' punk-ass fuckin started, "yo ass is goin ta break a funky-ass blood vessel if you be thinkin too hard bout dis shit. Yo ass need ta concern yo ass wit tha shiznit I wanna give tha two of y'all first." Dude saw tha teen bobbin his head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I know itz pretty incredible yo, but itz happening. Thatz all you need ta know bout tha thang as a funky-ass basis."
"Ugh…" Chris grunted a funky-ass bit. "…Okay… I be bout ta dig yo' story, then," he agreed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "So you sayin that…uh…this Subspace Army is tryin to…"
"It aint nuthin but tryin ta conquer tha ghettos," Masta Hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da duo widened they eyes. "Da armyz main goal is ta conquer any ghetto they come across rockin tha Subspace Bombs."
"..." Chris was utterly miffed by dat truth. "...Okay...that sounded so scaring..."
"But how tha fuck did you two manage ta git here?" Lucario axed suddenly. "For dat matter, since Chris n' I already spoiled ourselvez of tha deal of tha game… Where is tha others?"
Masta Hand chuckled nervously. "Yo ass see… There was dis big-ass fight against Tabuu, tha leader of tha Subspace Army," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "This fight was supposed ta be tha one dat would end wit his fuckin lil' defeat, yet…it never happened…" Dude looked up all up in tha ceiling. "Tabuu was weakened cuz of some outside help yo, but he managed ta fight back just fine, which ended up wit our asses losin tha battle."
Chris looked away up in thought. "…Yo ass is sayin tha supposed final battle ended up on a wack note?" he asked, lookin sideways all up in tha hands. "And thatz how tha fuck thangs spiraled outta control?"
"Oh fo'sho, they did," tha sane hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Yo ass see, I barely managed ta escape safely props ta Crazy-Ass Hand here." Crazy-Ass Hand waved his body at em. "Usin his help, we used our powers ta pull all tha playas involved up in tha fight back ta they ghettoz of origin…with tha added fact dat we manipulated they memories so dat they wouldn't remember anythang dat took place durin tha entire war plot."
"Wait, why?" Lucario asked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Why would you do that?"
"I be a hand of creation," tha hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I can't heal playas biaaatch! I can only use mah powers ta bend realitizzle ta mah will! So then, I was desperate durin dat confrontation dat I had no chizzle but ta return dem all ta they ghettos. If they went back up in time wit they memories intact, it would create all kindsa muthafuckin nasty outcomes fo' they individual stories."
Chris looked back at him, bewildered all up in tha statement. "You…tossed dem all back up in time?" he asked.
"Yeah…" tha hand trailed off. "I done did it so dat they had time ta prepare theyselves fo' da most thugged-out shitty at dis point up in time. Because I aint dat phat at time-bendin powers, however…I guess I overlooked all dem mistakes here n' there that…might have pulled dem all further back up in time…"
"…Oh…" Chris muttered up in a low tone.
"Yo ass saw dem lights goin ta yo' games, right, biatch? Well, they was goin afta em..." tha hand explained. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Tabuu still has some reserves n' he rockin dem ta put a end ta em. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So, Crazy-Ass Hand n' I fled away, n' then I remembered dat dis ghetto existed beyond our realms." Dude shook his dirty ass. "I didn't wanna go recruit other playas n' drag dem tha fuck into dis mess cuz tha army be also hustlin tha two of our asses down."
Da teen put two-and-two together n' gasped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Wait, there be a a whole army comin tha fuck into MY house?!" Chris asked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Sensin aura wavez of desperation, Lucario bared his wild lil' fangs.
"Fuck dat shit, no, no!" tha hand reassured em. "They can't easily barge tha fuck into dis dimension! T-they need ta gather enough space ta juice up Tabuu so dat his schmoooove ass can invade dis place biaaatch! Luckily, he straight-up weak all up in tha moment!"
Chris grabbed his chest as his schmoooove ass calmed his dirty ass down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "P-phew…" da perved-out muthafucka sighed as Lucario calmed down as well. "S-sorry fo' tha outburst…"
"Eh, I expected that," tha hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "So anyway… Thatz not tha end of tha story…"
"Therez more?" Lucario asked.
"There were…other lil' small-ass accidents as we fled," Masta Hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "…There was casualties."
"Casualties?" Chris wondered. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Yo ass don't mean playas gots capped or something…right?"
"Well…" tha hand trailed off. "Roy, Pichu n' Mewtwo gave they lives up in tha battle."
"!" tha two responded wit hoarse breaths. Lucario blinked up in shock while Chris covered his crazy-ass grill.
"Dat shiznit was a straight-up shockin scene ta be sure," tha hand muttered. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Mewtwo fought wit all his crazy-ass might until Tabuu pierced his ass all up in wit a spear… Roy yelled n' tried ta help his ass yo, but then Tabuu sliced his body n' left a straight-up menstrually-scarrin wound dat ran across his body… And just ta clarify how tha fuck evil da thug was, da perved-out muthafucka spotted Pichu shiverin up in a cold-ass lil corner n' promptly blasted his ass away wit a laser."
"...My…my god..." Chris muttered as da perved-out muthafucka shook wit fear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. "...This is...unbelievable..." he muttered.
"To cook up a point, Mewtwo did a shitload of help," Masta Hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Dat punk a Legendary Pokémon of sorts…but Tabuu went all up n' overwhelmed his muthafuckin ass."
Lucario looked away. "I wished I could've kicked it wit Mewtwo," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "But it never crossed mah mind that… Wait… Roy, Pichu, n' Mewtwo…" Dude looked back all up in tha hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Those is Melee charactas dat didn't make it ta Brawl yo. How tha fuck did they eve-?"
"Pfft," tha hand interrupted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. "I forgot you muthafuckas be thinkin dat our daddy canned dem three. Well, I took it upon mah dirty ass ta keep dem round fo' tha Brawl era," he explained. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Besides, there be a a whole freshly smoked up ghetto up there fo' tha tourneys I have organized a thugged-out decade ago! Yo ass muthafuckas know bout it fo' sure, right, biatch? Da first Smash Bros. tourney…the Melee tourney…and tha shut down Brawl tourney. If I was ta end a cold-ass lil contract wit one of tha Smashers " thatz how tha fuck I gotta call tha participants, mind you " tha ratings I git would take a long-ass fall down."
It shizzle felt like tha straight-up conversation had turned tha fuck into some kind of advertisement. "…What?" Chris asked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "What do you mean by tourneys, biatch? What kind of barbaric name is Smashers, biatch? Yo ass gotz a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass show?"
"And, mo' blinginly," Lucario fuckin started, "you gotz a gangbangin' father?"
"Let me answer every last muthafuckin single one of dem thangs," tha hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Yes, I be tha boss dat runs all dem tourneys I mentioned, pittin tha universes' top billin personalitizzles ta pit dem against each other fo' a gangbangin' fight fo' supremacy. 'Smashers' don't sound dat barbaric ta mah dirty ass. I cook up a livin rockin dem tourneys ta bust me some hard-earned scrilla." Dude took up a photo n' handed it ta em. Where tha pimpin' muthafucka took up dat photo was a gangbangin' fine topic of wild-mass guessing. "And dis is our dad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude looks pretty cool, don't you think, biatch? Look at dat lil' grill of his!"
Chris n' Lucario stared wit morbid looks at a photo of Masahiro Sakurai struttin down a red carpet salutin a crew up in front of a cold-ass lil concert. One of Lucarioz eyebrows twitched.
"What do you think?" Crazy-Ass Hand asked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I be thinkin I gots his fuckin looks!"
Da teen grimaced all up in tha thought of two disembodied handz knowin full well dat tha creator of tha game was dis man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude decided ta go along wit tha flow. "Uh… I-I would straight-up gots nuff props fo'to hook up his ass one day," Chris holla'd, forcin a smile as dat schmoooove muthafucka handed tha photo back ta tha hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "(They don't even look alike!)" tha pimpin' muthafucka thought.
Da Aura Pokémon wanted ta make thangs look straight-up once mo' n' mo' n' mo'. "Why is you here?" Lucario asked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "We know you on tha run…but what tha fuck did you hope ta accomplish by hustlin tha fuck into dis ghetto?"
"Our thugged-out asses here cuz...we wanna find help up in order ta fight dem back," Masta Hand holla'd.
"...Do you want me ta booty-call tha police, tha NAVY, or tha army?" Chris axed wit tha suggestions. "Da two of our asses are…uh…very busy people…"
"We are?" Lucario asked.
"Yes," Chris hissed.
Masta Hand groaned. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Yo, I wasn't rappin' bout dat son! I was rappin' bout recruitin a special human," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Chris didn't like where dis was going. "A human I could convince ta take upon tha task of reunitin tha crew fo' a gangbangin' final confrontation against Tabuu while ensurin dat they ghettos is safe from danger…" Dude floated over ta Lucario. "But screw dat clichéd hustla fic idea! I found mah dirty ass a funky-ass betta recruit up in dis muthafucka."
"Me?" Lucario asked, mildly shocked.
"Yes!" tha hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I can sense it from yo thugged-out ass. Yo ass is one big-ass Lucario!" he rejoiced. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I saw how tha fuck you lifted mah brutha wit a funky-ass bare hand ridin' solo. That just means you hella, straight-up special! With you on mah side, gatherin tha crew is ghon be a easy as fuck task! Here I was thankin I was goin ta recruit some headstrong pimp whoz ass don't do well up in dis muthafucka but be a expert at vizzle games… Thatz a fucked up waste of time, let me tell yo thugged-out ass."
Lucario exchanged glances wit Chris. Da teen looked worried. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Yo ass mean ta say you wanna take Lucario wit yo slick ass?" Chris asked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "B-but…"
"…I can't," Lucario holla'd, surprisin tha teen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "I can't just leave Chris behind knowin dat he goin ta be alone…"
"Lucario…" Chris muttered.
Masta Hand groaned. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Aww, no, I knew dis was goin ta be too easy as fuck ta be true," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Let me guess… Yo ass two is inseparable n' would rather not leave tha other behind."
"…Yes…" Chris responded weakly. But once he looked at Lucarioz lil' small-ass smile, there was a sudden chizzle of ass. "…And thatz why you not just takin Lucario fo' yo ass." Dude stood up. "I be coming, like a muthafucka."
Da three gasped all up in tha teenz decision. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "WHAT!" Masta Hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "T-thatz not what tha fuck I had up in mind hommie! Just a moment ago, you looked like you didn't wanna take a part up in this!" da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "What made you chizzle yo' mind, biatch? Yo ass don't be lookin like a gangbangin' fighta unlike yo' superbly phat Lucario!"
Chris looked down, debatin his dirty ass if dat shiznit was a phat scam ta drop a rhyme up his cold-ass thoughts like dat so recklessly fo' realz. Afta hearin Masta Handz story, tha pimpin' muthafucka thought dat there was a lil' small-ass chizzle fo' his ass ta help up in some way… Dat shiznit was obvious dat a pimped out threat was tryin ta break tha fuck into his ghetto ta conquer it yo. Dude just didn't wanna let all dat shiznit go so doggystyle. "I…I know…" Chris muttered, lookin at Lucarioz worried expression. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "It aint nuthin but just…"
"It aint nuthin but just dat I be thankin bout yo' welfare," Masta Hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Chris, I don't want you ta git involved up in all dis bullshit. It aint nuthin but too fucked up fo' tha likez of yo thugged-out ass."
"Just cuz Lucario is too damn phat don't mean every last muthafuckin thang will go tha way you want!" Chris yelled, shockin tha three at his sudden outburst yo. Dude looked worried once again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "A-and…and I can't just shrug dis off n' let Lucario go… I wanna go n' peep what tha fuck I can do."
"…Yo ass shizzle you not tha typical headstrong teen wit a thugged-out dream?"
"I aint tha fuck into fighting…" Chris admitted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. "I be a smart-ass teen whoz ass works hard up in high school…"
"That…doesn't fit mah criteria too much," tha hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "…Oh well, expect tha unexpected, they say… But still!" Dude pointed a gangbangin' finger all up in tha teen, startlin his muthafuckin ass. "Yo ass know full well what tha fuck you gettin into, right, biatch? Yo ass is enterin a funky-ass battlefield where anythang can happen! Yo ass might git capped off!"
"Not if I be around," Lucario holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude done cooked up a gangbangin' fist dat gots engulfed up in aura. "I be Chriss Pokémon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude is mah Pokémon Trainer n' shit. I wouldn't wanna be thinkin dat he goin ta be left behind bustin not a god damn thang while I go out… Just tha thought of leavin his ass ridin' solo don't bode me well." Dude looked at his cold-ass trainer wit a lil' small-ass smile. "I be tha strongest Lucario tha ghetto has eva seen… Usin mah power, I be bout ta peep dat Chris pulls all up in without suffering."
Da teen smiled a lil' bit at his Pokémonz speech. "Oh, now I peep how tha fuck thangs is round here," tha hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "It aint nuthin but tha typical Pokémon bond between a Pokémon n' his human. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yeah, I've peeped dat nuff times before…" Dude grunted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. "Okay, Chris, dis is tha last thang I be goin ta ask of you… Do you TRULY wanna join tha Smashers, along wit yo' Lucario, ta fight against tha Subspace Army knowin dat you gonna be facin dark shiznit a shitload mo' than you've done up in yo' game?"
"Join tha Smashers…" Chris trailed off.
"That means you hustlin under me," Masta Hand pointed out. "With mah leadership, I shall guide you through."
"…" Chris stared long at Lucario. "…I have tha ghettoz strongest Lucario…" da perved-out muthafucka holla'd, smilin wide. "Why should I git worried bout gettin hurt up there?"
"Chris…" Lucario trailed off as he pulled his cold-ass trainer under his fuckin left arm, nudgin his crazy-ass muzzle against his head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da teen chuckled heartily n' embraced his muthafuckin ass.
"Okay, thatz kind of a movin scene," Masta Hand holla'd, "but there be thangs ta be done round here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho fo' realz. Is we aiiight dat tha two of yo big-ass booty is ghon work fo' me son?"
"Yes," Chris holla'd nodding, Lucario releasin his wild lil' freakadelic grip from his muthafuckin ass. "I be bout ta do whatever I can ta support tha crew…with Lucario, of course."
Masta Hand turned away. "Well, thatz just goin ta make me take some crucial decisions wit you," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Chris n' Lucario looked at his muthafuckin ass. "I be bout ta rap once we locked n loaded ta bust you off up in yo' first mission of tha day…"
Chris was concerned. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Do we gotta take all dem shit wit us?" he asked.
"Fuck dat shit, it'll be aiiight," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd as his thugged-out lil' punk-ass fuckin started floatin away ta Chriss room. Crazy-Ass Hand hopped off from tha couch n' followed his muthafuckin ass. Da duo looked at each other wit flat looks before followin tha hands.
Chriss Room
Chris n' Lucario stood up in front of Masta Hand n' Crazy-Ass Hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Chris, Lucario," Masta Hand fuckin started, "we gotta stop tha Subspace Army from conquerin tha ghettoz of mah Smashers." Dude raised a gangbangin' finger n' shit. "Our first order of bidnizz is ta keep they ghettos safe by disablin tha Subspace Bombs. Well shiiiit, it be also our top prioritizzle ta gather dem all once again n' again n' again when they done wit tha plotz of they games."
"Wait…" Chris trailed off, "so you do know dat you is…part of vizzle games?" he asked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Lucario looked away wit a lil' bit of disdain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "Lucario also realized dat some time ago…"
"Oh… It aint nuthin but nothing, straight-up," tha hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "It only mattas dat our slick asses live. To me, itz far mo' blingin dat I can gotz a cold-ass lil conscience of mah own ta be aware of." Dat shiznit was hard ta tell yo, but he looked straight-up n shit. "For dat matter, though…I FORBID you tha scam of eva spittin some lyrics ta ANYBODY you come across bout tha fact dat tha ghettos is part of vizzle games…"
"It aint nuthin but goin ta be a pimpin' big-ass thang ta them, I suppose," Lucario supposed.
"Yes, right," tha hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Da crew don't even know bout dis shit. They'll react negatively ta tha whole scam if they was ta smoke up… Yo ass betta keep tha secret covered n' just tell dem dat you come from other aiiight ghettos. I couldn't give a fuckin shiznit what tha fuck you do as long as you don't disrupt they stories."
"Disruptin they stories…" Chris repeated.
"It aint nuthin but unknown ta me where you goin ta end up," tha hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I'ma take you ta tha closest location where tha deal is unraveling. That means dat you gonna be dropped off anywhere, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Yo ass is sposed ta fuckin help tha protagonistz of any ghetto wit they thangs while tryin ta find tha army somewhere along tha road… It aint nuthin but clear dat tha army wants ta chase dem down, so if you stick wit them, you bound ta protect em. Do NOT stray away from they stories, though cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. It aint nuthin but not recommended dat you cook up some fuckin alterations fo' betta thangs up in dis biatch…"
"How tha fuck will we know when tha mission is completed?" Chris axed concerned.
"I'ma contact you as soon as I can," Masta Hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I have powers beyond yo' imagination. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I can peep straight-up well how tha fuck you bustin by yourselves. For tha time being, Crazy-Ass Hand n' I'ma take residence up in dis house…avoidin playas from seein our asses from tha windows, of course."
Lucario grimaced. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Yo ass betta not cause any stupiditizzle up in here," da thug warned em. "I don't wanna be thinkin what'd happen if you git out…"
"Us thugs won't do that," Masta Hand holla'd as his brutha shook his dirty ass. "This be a safe place fo' our asses ta hide from tha army."
"But, how tha fuck can we git all up in other ghettos?" Lucario asked.
Masta Hand saw a Wiimote on tha bed n' pointed at it yo. Dude fired a yellow light ta tha control n' it went up in front of Chris n' Lucario by floatin up in midair. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Da two stared all up in tha control. "And mo' of mah belongings git corrupted..." Chris sighed.
"This is NOT corrupted!" Masta Hand yelled before coughin a lil. "Use all dis bullshit. This control be a key ta git all up in tha other ghettos."
"What?" Chris holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Yo ass did suttin' ta mah control?"
"Yo crazy-ass control has been modified ta open portals," tha hand pointed out. "Point forward n' press tha A button."
Da teen could hardly believe dat dis was happenin yo, but da ruffneck did as da thug was holla'd at. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Shyly pointin tha control forward, Chriss doubtful thumb pressed tha A button. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly, a trail of light blasted up n' seemingly crashed against empty air fo' realz. A lil' small-ass shinin dot shone before tha two, n' then it started ta grow tha fuck into a funky-ass big-ass circle. When tha big-ass circle was seven feet big, they saw a swirl of bright flavas inside tha majestic abnormality. "A-aah!" Chris yelped, backin off from tha vortex. Dat shiznit was a wonder ta peep dat not a god damn thang was gettin sucked tha fuck into dat shit.
"Yeah, thatz tha initial impression," Masta Hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "What you peep before you be a portal dat will take you ta Nesss ghetto… I have sensed dat tha armyz first target is Ness. I want you ta rendezvous wit his ass all up in tha point where he at n' convince his ass ta let you join his cold-ass crew."
"What if da ruffneck don't let our asses join him?" Lucario asked.
"…Bug his ass a lil more," Masta Hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Try ta do yo' dopest ta convince his muthafuckin ass. Dat punk toasted if he gets targeted outta nowhere while struttin all up in a cold-ass lil hood dawwwwg! Yo ass two is mah only hope ta peep dem safe…" Dude saw dat Chris looked unsure. "Havin second doubts now, Chris?"
"H-huh?" Chris holla'd before lookin away. "W-well…"
"…Look, cuz I don't wanna peep you chuckin rocks n' sticks all up in tha enemies while Lucario do all tha fighting," tha hand fuckin started as he raised a glowin finger, "let me hit you wit yo' tools fo' battle!"
"My fuckin tools fo' batt-?" Chris couldn't say no mo' once tha hand blasted his ass wit a funky-ass bright light.
As Lucario peeped up in shock as his cold-ass trainerz body glowed, Chris felt a gangbangin' funky sensation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat dat shiznit was still a odd feelin he never felt before, n' dat shiznit was by no means a wack one disguised as a positizzle one yo. Dude looked at his handz glowed briefly and, before his schmoooove ass could peep more, tha light faded away. "What did you just do ta him?" Lucario questioned.
"I gave his ass tha Thang System," Masta Hand holla'd.
"The…Thang System?" Chris wondered, lookin back up at his muthafuckin ass.
"I gots dis from a ghetto I was spyin on," tha hand pointed out. "Basically, I gave you tha potential ta bust a wide assortment of powers dat will unlock by theyselves as time goes by while you fight battles. In short, letz just say dat you goin ta be a cold-ass lil carbon copy of tha Smashers… Yo ass is basically goin ta git thangs dat will resemble dem up in powers n' appearance. For example, someday, you gonna git a Thang dat will hit you wit a cold-ass lil copy of Ikez threadz along wit his sword Ragnell. There won't be any radical chizzlez done ta yo' body, though."
Chris thought hard bout tha Thang System yo, but da thug was still unsure if dis was such a phat idea. Obviously, tha hand spied on tha Final Fantasy series when thankin bout tha system itself. "…Wait a minute," Chris holla'd, realizin something. "How tha fuck do I chizzle thangs?"
"Oh, itz simple," tha hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Yo ass just gotta imagine tha thang you wanna chizzle ta up in yo' mind… But tha problem is dat you aint gots a single thang all up in tha moment."
"What?!" Chris holla'd up in shock as Lucario looked similarly wit tha same expression. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "Yo ass is bustin me tha fuck into a gangbangin' foreign ghetto without a single thang?"
"I be testin you," tha hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "This be a test fo' you ta prove yo ass, Chris."
"Is you insane?!" Chris asked.
"No," tha boss bluntly holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Look, I do thangs round here pretty seriously. Da playas dat work under me is sposed ta fuckin work hard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo ass be a special case, however," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I know it soundz straight-up wack dat I be givin you almost not a god damn thang ta fight battlez yo, but I wish ta peep how tha fuck you pimp yo' fightin game as you progress all up in dis long adventure. I can tell dat you not tha adventurous type…so I wish ta peep how tha fuck tha likez of y'all mature."
Chris stared up in pure disbelief all up in tha hand fo' all dem secondz until da perved-out muthafucka sighed, scratchin his bangin right arm. "I suppose that…yo ass is right on that…" he muttered as Lucario patted his cold-ass trainerz back. "I already holla'd I was going, anyway…"
"Don't be afraid," Lucario holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Yo ass still have me ta defend yo ass."
"Lucario…"
"…I be bout ta do every last muthafuckin thang up in mah juice ta help you out," tha Aura Pokémon holla'd wit a lil' small-ass smile. "Nothang would make me straight-up proud as a muthafucka than seein mah trainer fight by mah side."
"…" Chriss eyes looked away yo. Dude blushed a funky-ass bit. "…I can straight-up count on you, afta all." Lucario growled n' rubbed cheeks together wit Chris, makin his cold-ass trainer laugh fo' a funky-ass bit.
"Okay!" Masta Hand holla'd, startlin tha two. "It aint nuthin but time fo' you ta start tha big-ass mission ta gather tha force biaaatch! Now, go on tha fuck into tha portal n' prepare yourselves fo' multiple ghettos full of possibilitizzles n' unique charactas waitin ta hook up you, nahmean biiiatch?"
"…Meetin other characters…" Chris muttered, a sincere smile formin on his fuckin lips yo. Dude stared all up in tha portal up in front of em. Curiously, tha teen n' his Pokémon stuck a gangbangin' finger each tha fuck into dat shit. "Uh… I don't feel so phat just enterin all up in dis thang…"
Da two never expected tha big-ass right hand ta push dem tha fuck into tha portal without previous warning. Da portal then vanished once they was gone.
"And off you go!" Masta Hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude chuckled n' looked at his brutha n' shit. "I should've holla'd dat before I pushed dem in… Oh well, I have faith dat they'll do just fine."
"And what tha fuck if they don't do well n' end up gettin capped?" Crazy-Ass Hand asked.
"Pish-posh, brother!" Masta Hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Things will work up just fine… For tha moment, though," he looked around, "we need ta give dem a funky-ass big-ass surprise once they done wit tha mission."
Crazy-Ass Hand gasped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Yo ass mean?!"
"Yup, we goin back home n' do some special arrangements," Masta Hand holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I forgot dat tha Smash Mansion be all ridin' solo without any guests, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. I be locked n loaded ta peep tha look on they faces once they come back n' peep our base of operations. This doggy den aint goin ta be enough!"
Da handz kept rappin' ta each other while keepin track of tha two freshly smoked up recruits' progress up in tha straight-up original gangsta ghetto…
TO BE CONTINUED…
Next Chapter:
"Bound To a New Earth"
Do you wanna save yo' data?
Yes
Creatin freshly smoked up file data…
-Winters-
Chris, Lucario
And so, tha rap begins wit a phat start…
How tha fuck phat tha start is ta you is up ta yo' review, though cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce fo' realz. A few mo' thangs shall be addressed up in tha next chaptas as mo' characterization will come up from time ta time. You'll peep rap battlez n' battlez up in tha incomin chapters, so please, I ask you ta trip off tha read.
I encourage all Brawl fanatics ta review.
"Yep", thought Ike. "This shit is totally gonna get taken down. I'd say it was worth it, though." After all, it is hard to get past the copy blocking established for him. Perhaps Ike will assist himself.
RIP Snake realest nigga around.