"How did you not know those chocolates had beer in them!?"
And with that, it could be said that the day after Valentine's Day was a normal day for the trainees. Or not. It depends on who you talk to.
Valentine's Day had started out pretty normal. Franz had given Hanna chocolate which was to be expected. What was not expected, however, was the chocolates Sasha and Connie had given out. It had been after dinner that night right after Jean had given Mikasa a huge box of chocolates and a rose (which everyone had seen coming). He had then promptly sat back down to his sewing.
Connie and Sasha had then promptly stood up and started distributing giant boxes of chocolates to everyone. "Don't worry, if you run out of chocolates, we've got plenty more." Sasha reassured someone. No one could remember who she was talking to.
"Baldie. Potato Girl. Why are you two giving out chocolates?" Ymir asked, pulling Christa closer to her, and farther away from the box of chocolates.
"Because it's Valentine's Day and we thought we'd be nice." Connie shrugged, "and it's shaved off. I'm not bald."
"That was one time, Ymir. Just eat your chocolates." Sasha muttered, shoving a box towards Ymir and Christa. Ymir glared at them before picking up the box and starting to eat some before allowing Christa to have any.
"Should I be scared or glad about these?" Jean asked, shaking his.
"You should be ecstatic. You would not believe what Sasha and I went through to get this many." Connie corrected, starting to eat some.
The trainees started to eat the chocolates. No one knew what would ensue.
Correction: no one properly remembers what ensued.
People remember some of the more notable details, but not the entire night. Everyone remembers eating enough chocolates to get sick for about an hour, but no one remembers actually getting sick from the chocolates themselves.
The trainees remember Reiner climbing onto the roof and then promptly falling off of it onto his head. He was unconscious for five minutes mumbling something about being the Armored Titan the whole time. People sympathized with him, thinking they'd want to be the Armored Titan after falling as hard as he did.
They remember Annie doing a keg stand. No one quite remembers how they got a keg in the first place though. (Well, not entirely. If the training session Shadis puts them through later that day is any indication, they all know exactly where the keg came from.)
They remember Marco attempting to breathe fire. He set three of the training courses on fire, burned down a quarter of the forest, and scorched the rest of it. How he remained unburned, while the trees (and other trainees) didn't, no one knows.
They all remember Bertholdt deciding that he no longer needed to bend down everywhere he went. Resulting in him grabbing his swords and cutting the door frames so that he could comfortably walk through them without needing to bend down.
They all remember Jean deciding that he needed to paint the ceiling of the dining hall for some strange reason. Four hours and gallons of stolen paint from Trost later, he deemed the dining hall ceiling to be painted perfectly. In neon pink paint. He even signed it, 'Horseface'.
Everyone remembers Eren deciding that normal sparring was for sissies, and promptly shifting into a Titan. Everyone writes that off as just a hallucination of how drunk they were that night. Humans can't become Titans, that ridiculous...right?
And of course, he needed a sparring partner. Ymir decided that she was just perfect to do that. She shifted into a Titan too. Everyone writes that off as bogus. Another hallucination. Both parties promptly deny that they can turn into Titans. It is ridiculous both of them say.
Everyone remembers Christa deciding that she needs a tattoo later that night. No one remembers what happened after that proclamation, but they all remember waking up the next morning in a panic. Christa had lost her shirt sometime that night, and they woke up to see her in nothing but her pants and her bra. With a giant tattoo across her boobs depicting the hallucinated Titan fight Ymir and Eren had. They all breathed a little better when they realized it was just drawn on in marker. (Christa doesn't tell them about the image on her upper inner thigh of the Survey Corps Wings of Freedom that won't go away or fade no matter how she cleans it.)
Everyone remembers Sasha deciding that she needed to go for a swim in the lake. But she had to dive from a tree that Marco had scorched earlier first. She dove off of it fully clothed and straight into the lake. She came out of the lake sopping wet but perfectly fine. Then decided to keep doing that for another hour.
Everyone also remembers Connie walking around the training grounds stark naked for hours. The details of why he decided to do it always end with the trainees arguing it but it is an undisputed fact that he did, in fact, walk around the grounds naked for hours. His face goes bright red any time it gets brought up.
Everyone also remembers Armin walking around the grounds dressed as a potted plant and telling anyone who asked him what he was doing that it was just a drunken hallucination and to forget about it. The potted plant costume has mysteriously disappeared the next morning as far as they know (he doesn't tell anyone that he hid it in a hollowed out tree he had found weeks ago, falling out of the sky during training for their gear. It might come in handy he plans).
Everyone (mostly the guys) remember Mikasa deciding that she was a stripper. She gave a show for everyone present in the dining hall. Jean wakes up the next morning in a puddle of his own blood the next morning, not far from the pole miraculously produced for Mikasa's stripper act. There's a whole bunch of lingerie scattered around the pole from when, Marco claims, Mikasa got tired of the set she was wearing and changed a couple of times. Of course, all the boys claim that they had probably just made up the whole stripper act in their drunken haze, but it's no secret about how all of them are a lot poorer than they were when the night began (and how Mikasa is a lot richer than any of the other girls claim she had been beforehand).
No one knows why Shadis didn't get onto them that night about their behavior (well, actually, they do know why. If the monthly pay check written out to a Keith Shadis that had been neatly tucked between Mikasa's boobs the next morning was any indication.)
All of them had woken up scattered around various places in the dining hall, all with hangovers. Reiner woke up near a window with a giant bump on his head, with Annie's head in his lap. Bertholdt woke up on top of a table sleeping in Marco's lap. Jean woke up in a puddle of his own blood the next morning, not far from the pole miraculously produced for Mikasa's stripper act. Eren wakes up cuddling Armin in a dark corner of the dining hall. Sasha woke up completely soaked, curled up next to Connie who had miraculously redressed himself someone over the course of the night. Christa woke up wearing nothing but her uniforms pants and bra. A pink lacy push-up one that left her absolutely mortified for the next couple of days with her various tattoos. Not far from Christa lay Ymir, looking like nothing had gone wrong that night. Mikasa woke up wearing nothing, at all, but Shadis's jacket (that he promptly takes back and makes all of them except for her run laps for it). She's a given a sheet to wrap in after he takes it back, lest he want her to be completely stark naked while all of them are sober with nasty hangovers.
"How did you not know those chocolates had beer in them!?" Jean yells at Sasha that night after all the training is over for the day and they've all promised not to talk about what took place that night.
"I thought the picture of the bottle of beer on them was just for decoration." Sasha replies, "and besides, you all were stupid enough to eat them, and get drunk off of them."
A/N: So, I hope you all enjoyed that one. I made myself laugh at some of the things I had them do while they were drunk. The reasoning behind this chapter is that I was going to write and post one on Valentine's Day about the trainees giving each other gifts and sweet mushy stuff like that. But then I noticed how many people wrote about stuff like that. Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed some of the fics like that, that came out this year, but I wanted to be different (and I was super busy on Valentine's Day, but let's not talk about that). Anyways, I know for a fact that chocolates filled with alcohol are an actual thing because someone gave my mom some for Valentine's Day and she wouldn't let me have any. That got me thinking about what would happen to the trainees if they got some, and then ate enough to get drunk off of them. And this chapter is officially the longest one so far with 1,671 words, beating out the 1,240 words of Snowball Fight: Part 2. So, yeah, that's where this chapter come from. Happy belated Valentine's Day and thanks for reading!
See you later!