A/N: I think everyone has been waiting for this one, hope you enjoy. Thanks to everyone for the support and your reviews. Please review.

NC

Chapter 3

The handmade cross marking the grave of a hunter still stood in the woods where Sam had buried his brother five months ago. Silence filled the woods, insects and animals alike scattering to other parts of the forest as dirt began to move and hands appeared digging their way out of the grave. The hole enlarged and Dean Winchester pushed his head out and drew in a breath of fresh air for the first time in five months. He clawed the hole bigger and pulled his body out of the ground panting heavily as he lay there letting the sun beat on his dirty face squinting his eyes from the brightness. The air had never felt so clean and pure as it did right now.

He finally got enough strength to stagger up and look around, shocked by the circle of downed trees that circled his grave. It was like a bomb had gone off there and he was right in the middle of it. Not knowing where he was, Dean started walking toward what looked like an old logging road not far from where he was. He followed the road down hoping to find a house or gas station or town. He had no idea who or what had pulled him from hell, but he didn't want to wait around to find out.

The gas station was rundown, but it was still open at times. Dean broke a window and let himself in heading for the bottled water. He grabbed one, opened it and gulped most of the water down without stopping. Taking a deep breath, he glanced around and saw a paper stand with a couple of daily papers still on the rack. He picked one up and read the date, October 26th. He had been gone for five months, but it was more like fifty years by hell's time.

Fifty years of almost continued torture every day, day in and day out. His body would be stabbed, cut, ripped, torn, gutted, only to be put back together the next day to start all over again. This continued the first several months, a new demon each week trying to break him. It really turned bad when in month three a demon looking like Sam walked in and eyed him on the rack. That almost broke his will, but he kept telling himself it wasn't him as he began the torture of the day all the while telling him how weak he was, how pathetic he was and how no one was going to save him. This went on for a week or more; it was hard to keep track of the days anymore, they seemed to run together since he couldn't tell when it was night or day.

All hope seemed lost when the next one looked like Esmee, so small and beautiful. She walked up to him and caressed his face looking down at his naked body. Dean tensed from the touch turning away from it.

"Dee, what's wrong, don't like my touch now?" she cooed into his ear.

"You're not Esmee, bitch!" he yelled hoarsely.

"Oh didn't you know, I couldn't live without you and killed myself with your gun." she smirked opening her shirt to show a gunshot wound to the heart. "So my soul was thrown down here, because of you."

"No, you're lying; Es would never leaver our kids alone. Get on with it, do your worse but don't pretend to be the woman I love."

Shaking his head hard, he pushed down those memories locking them away for now. Dean went to the bathroom and splashed water on his face as he tried to pull himself together. He looked into the cracked mirror at his reflection before pulling his shirt up to look for scars from the claws of the hellhounds, but didn't see any. He checked his arms, but saw nothing there either. Pain twitched through his shoulders and he pulled his shirt away from it to see a raised up welt that looked like a hand print on his shoulder. He grimaced in pain before pulling his shirt back on and heading back into the store.

After grabbing a plastic bag, he grabbed some bottled water, power bars and beef jerky before opening the cash register to take the money. He started for the door when a radio in the corner came on startling him. A high pitched whine began in the room and Dean covered his ears trying to stop the sound. Within seconds the windows of the building blew in covering him with broken glass. He lay there for a moment trying to make the ringing in his ears stop so he could get up. He looked outside, but didn't see anyone and didn't want to hang around to see who might have caused this damage. He made his way outside and looked around spotting an old rundown car by the side of the building. If he was lucky, the metal trap would start. He needed to get home, to get back to Esmee and Sam and the kids, it had been too long. He could see Esmee's face in his mind, the tilt of her head, the little smile on her face, the way she looked so lovingly at him, he wanted to see that again. He wanted to hold her in his arms, to feel her gentle touch and tell her he loved her and missed her so much.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

The noise that woke Sam was not the house settling and he sat up quickly. He knew it wasn't any of the kids and reached over and shook Esmee awake.

"I heard something." he said getting up and grabbing a knife from the top of the dresser.

"What?" she yawned automatically reaching for the holy water.

"Stay behind me." he ordered checking Mary's sleeping form before heading out into the hall.

Sam crept down the hall toward the living room with Esmee close behind him. He stopped suddenly when he heard a familiar voice in the dark. A voice he didn't think he would be hearing again.

"Sonofabitch!" the voice growled from the darkness as he fell over a toy left out by one of the boys.

"Dean?" Sam questioned flipping the light switch to flood light into the living room revealing the body of his brother.

"Hey Sammy." the figure said as he straightened up and looked at him with a smile on his face.

"Dean? How?" he started before lunging at him with the knife.

"It's me Sam!" Dean yelled knocking his arm aside and pinning him to the wall for a moment before letting him go. "See." he said taking the knife and making a small cut on his arm. Sam looked at the blood and then back at him before grabbing him into a bear hug that made it hard for him to breath.

"Dee?" Esmee said from behind them. Sam let him go so he could see Esmee as he blinked away the tears.

"Esmee." Dean said softly reaching for her as he stepped closer.

Before he could touch her, she squirted holy water in his face. He blinked the water away and spit out a mouth full before looking at her happy she was still using what he taught her.

"Not a demon either."

A small cry broke their reunion as Mary wailed from the bedroom. All three adults quickly made their way to the bedroom and the crying baby. Esmee picked up Mary and tried to comfort her while looking at Dean with tear filled eyes.

Dean stopped and looked around slowly taking in the bedroom. He saw the bed with two impressions where bodies had laid, Sam's discarded clothes tossed on a chair, and his boots at the end of the bed. He looked over at his brother who was wearing only sleep pants and Esmee who had on one of Dean's tee shirts that she slept in and anger began to build deep down in his soul.

"Am I interrupting something?" he asked louder than needed to the pair standing in front of him who looked uncomfortable.

"Dee what are you talking about?" she asked bouncing Mary in her arms.

"I see my little brother didn't waste any time moving in." he growled madly giving them a death glare.

"I'll take Mary and go to my bedroom." Sam said slipping on a tee shirt and grabbing some diapers and wipes before taking Mary from Esmee.

"Dada." Mary whined clinging to Sam and burying her face into his neck.

Sam saw a deep sadness cross Dean's face when his daughter called Sam Dada and looked to him for comfort. He looked at Esmee and nodded knowing they needed time alone to straighten everything out. Mary could see her father in the morning when she was awake and in a better mood.

"Dee, stop it." Esmee fussed at him softly knowing what he was thinking.

"Stop what? Are you going to deny you're sleeping together? Keeping it in the family are you?" he accused. "How long was I gone before you two started screwing? Was it in our bed?"

Esmee's temper flared and she balled her hand up and punched him squarely in the mouth before she could stop herself.

"Sonofabitch." she gritted through clenched teeth as she shook her hand and then clutched it to her chest hoping it wasn't broken.

He looked at her with rage pouring off him, clenching and unclenching his hands madly forcing himself not to hit back. The punch had split his lip and blood was slowly forming a red line down his chin. He used his tongue to check the damage and tasted the coppery, sweet taste of his blood like he had done every day for the past five months.

"No I won't deny it, but that is all we're doing, sleeping, nothing else. When Sam told me what happened to you, a part of me died too. Sam and I, we kind of lost it there for a while, Bobby pulled us back from the edge before either of us did something stupid. But do you know how guilty San felt and how messed up he was? He started trying to drink away the pain and one night I found him at the kitchen table with an almost empty bottle of whiskey and your loaded gun laying in front of him." she paused letting the words hopefully sink into Dean's skull.

He looked up at her with those words and some of the anger left him and he deflated. Sam was going to kill himself because he couldn't stop him from going to hell.

"We were both messed up and only had each other to lean on. Yes, we were sleeping together, but nothing else, Sam was always a gentleman. Neither of us would do that to you, you should know that. But foremost, I'm mad at you for not telling me what was going on, it was wrong and you know it. Wrong for you to keep me in the dark like that, knowing you were going to die and not telling me." she cried as the tears wet her cheeks and dripped from her face. "How could you leave me so unprepared like that? Are you that selfish and self-centered?"

Dean stood there listening to her talk keeping his eyes downcast. He felt her present move beside him and a warm hand stroke his cheek and wipe away the blood that was on his chin. He looked up at her tear stained face before taking her in his arms and crushing her tightly to his chest. Esmee's body began to shake as she sobbed not wanting to ever let him go.

"Oh Es, I'm sorry. I was so wrong, and I hope you can forgive me." Dean whispered letting his tears fall into her hair as he brushed her curls down. He now saw how much of an idiot he was for not telling her the truth. Esmee was stronger than most people, she could have handled the truth if he had just believed more in her and trusted her. The look of hurt and disappointment in her eyes would never leave his mind.

He pulled his body back to look at her face and gently kissed her quivering lips ever so carefully. She looked up into his wet eyes and pulled him down kissing him deeply and passionately. Dean responded by picking her up, stepping back until he hit the bed before turning and laying her down on the sheets and slipping in beside her. He looked down at her small form and brushed his finger over her cheek. She smiled, closed her eyes and turned into his touch. A touch that she had so longed for over the last five months.

"The image of your face was the only thing that kept me sane." he whispered to her. He cupped her injured hand in his and brought it to his lips kissing the already bruising fingers ever so gently.

"I love you, you know that right?" she asked him getting serious. "I never stopped and never will, but don't you ever keep something like that from me again, understand? No matter how bad, no matter what, promise me or we can end it here and now. I'll take the kids and leave." she said pushing away from him to look in his eyes so he knew she was serious.

"I promise no more secrets, ever, I can't lose you, not again." he replied brushing her hair back from her face as she curled up against him as tightly as she could. "I love you so much." he said into her hair.

Raw emotions coursed through both of them as they lay there in each others arms trying to find comfort and support. Exhaustion overtook Dean as his eyes grew heavy and the sandman pushed its way into his mind sending him into a light sleep, the first he had had since dying. Esmee continued to stroke his face and hum softly to him as she prayed a silent prayer thanking whoever got Dean free. She was afraid to close her eyes for fear he would disappear and she would find this was only a dream.