Sue is Justice
By: Luunna
Summary: OSHIT LOOK OVER THAR IT'S CHAPTER 3 D: Yeah, so it's up with some delay Shot OKAY A LOT OF FUCKING DELAY Dx My Silent Hill and Resident Evil obsessions took over my mind… I love Harry Mason 3 BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS I'm back with a new sense of humor and hopefully fresh material. Like Magical Trevor. MAGICAL TREVOR IS TEN TIMES AS SLICK AS THE LAST TIME THE LAST TIME YOU SAW 'IM NOW YOU CAN SEE WHY WE REALLY ADORE HIM… Now to reviews:
Peanuckle- Not likely, but perhaps. Light may be too far gone… :[
Shin-Ora- Yes, there are often times I read a Sue fanfic just to giggle at the Mary Sue xD AND ARE YOU CALLING TAMAYAYUKIBLAHBLAHBLAH DUMB?! SHE'LL BE FUCKING FURIOUS DD
Determined- Did I break your brain? I hope I did.
Eodaiya- Whoa. A golden fountain? HURRAH THAT SHIT'S GOIN ON EBAY
Pookie776- -Rides in on a white stallion-
SonokoTao- L keeps her at bay with his own perfection. Though Matsu is probably her second target. And he doesn't stand a chance D:
Death-Nerd- IT'S BECAUSE I THROW BABIES INTO VOLCANOES FOR FUN ON THE WEEKENDS
Spinningisfun- I'm glad you think so : D
JaeLae- I'm glad you enjoy it that much! Oo I never thought I would garner this much praise from my writing. As for her name, I just took a bunch of Azn sounding names/syllables, smushed them together and threw Sakura at the end.
Niram- You gave me ideas : O YOU ARE GAWWWD O THA NEW WUUURRRLD And yes, a heart. IT NEEDS TO BE SUPAH UBER KAWAII AND DESU
Maker-chan- In my opinion, that was one of my favorite parts too xD I'm glad there were as many people as myself who liked it. I've actually seen a lot of Suethors describe L as having gray eyes, when they are very clearly black. So I thought I'd make fun of that. Anyways, thank you for your compliments!!
Synonymous Brian- You hate me right now, don't you? ;A;
TriggerHappyAntagonist- Can I say your username is SUPER? XD NEWAYZ HEER U GO
Elektrick City- YOU THINK SO?! I'm glad: D
NOW THEN FOR YOUR IRREGULARILY SCHEDULED PARODY
Screw disclaimers, they're on this story twice already [
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"I haven't seen Misa lately, Light." L perched on the couch in what small lounge the Task Force had. He munched on some Yan-Yan, swirling the chocolate icing inside with one of the included cookie sticks before lifting it and crunching down on his snack. "Have you?"
Light stared at him blankly. "Who?"
"…" L stopped moving and raked his eyes over the teenage boy, long and hard. "Misa Amane. Blond hair, Gothic Lolita fashion model…" Clearly, L's descriptions weren't helping, as Light's face just looked incredibly confused. Or, as seen in the last chapter, L just was horrible at describing things.
"That's not a very good description. Doesn't sound like my lovely Tamayayukisakura at all." Light sighed just at saying the name and his face took on a dreamlike quality. L rolled his apparently gray eyes.
Biting down on some more Yan Yan, L decided to make things much simpler. "Your girlfriend?"
Light's face suddenly looked enraged as he awoke from his daydreams. It took on a frightening scowl that looked like he might just leap across the table and strangle poor L. "HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF LOVING ANYONE OTHER THAN TAMAYAYUKISAKURA!! I HOPE TO ONE DAY MANIPULATE A SHINIGAMI INTO KILLING YOU WITH A HEART ATTACK!" Light slammed his fists on the glass coffee table and shattered the glass, but with his manly strength, managed not to sever his hands in doing so. He stormed off and L stared blankly, wondering what in the name of Sherlock Holmes just happened.
L wondered on Light's words a moment while absentmindedly stirring the thick chocolate icing with another stick. He was very specific, after all, and it warranted at least a five percent increase in Light Yagami's suspicion. Of course, he could just use the student's words as a confession. But then he would have to go to prison and Tamayayukisakura would be sad. And nobody wanted that. So L would just have to let it slide-
…
…
L's thoughts stopped themselves immediately, dying where they had been born. His Yan Yan cup clattered to the floor and he clutched his head.
There was no way he could take much more of this.
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Tamayayukisakura had seen Light storm out and stopped him. She asked him to go with her to the park, take a walk and calm down a bit. He refused at first, but her stormy gray eyes seemed to glow with compassion. He forgot all about his intellectual chess game with L and the fact that if he left L would probably grow suspicious and couldn't say no.
They walked across the street, but in doing so, Tamayayukisakura's spiked heels crunched against something noisily. "What was that?" She asked Light, but both continued on their merry way when they saw it was only Misa. Or to Light, some girl's disgustingly mangled body.
The blood from her perfect shoe was gone when they reached the park. Everything was utterly stunned at Tamayayukisakura's beauty and perfection. Small birds perched on her shoulders or collided with stationary objects mid-flight while staring at her. Guys stared at her and girls instantly were either jealous of her perfect beauty or wanted to be her BFF. Trees twisted on their roots, but no one really seemed to notice this impossibility. The half-Shinigami girl only giggled to maintain her chastity and smiled at the birds, oddly reminiscent of Snow White.
Light led her to a bench and sat down, holding her hand as she did the same. A nearby rock wished her perfect foot may land on it, but was very disappointed when they sat. Light, who seemed to know what the rock was thinking with his telepathy or something, glared at the rock. "You will never have her, for she is MY love!!" He screamed at it, gaining some odd looks. Oh, Light. You and your shenanigans.
"I wonder what Leon's doing right now?" Tamayayukisakura pondered. Somewhere in Spain, Leon S. Kennedy was killing some angry Spaniards and cringing at another annoying girl saying his name over and over.
Light scoffed. "Who cares about that jerk?"
"Why don't you like him?"
"He's a jerk and smells like pee. Besides, I totally saw him ogling your ass yesterday, so now he's my rival in love." Light must have imagined this, because L avoided Tamayayukisakura like the plague. At all times.
AND SUDDENLY, some guy grabbed Tamayayukisakura's sweet ass. Even though they were sitting on a bench. But it's okay, because everyone at the park booed him for such inappropriate behavior towards innocent Tamayayukisakura and Light used his judo skills to flip him over and slam him to the sidewalk. Everyone cheered when the man started to bleed all over the walkway, even the rock.
"My hero!!" Tamayayukisakura clinged to Light who once again turned into a complete buffoon as she hugged him. Before they went home, Light spotted a puddle. "OH NOES!!" Being the caring young man he is, Light didn't want his love's dainty feet to be wet from the tiny, shallow puddle. Tamayayukisakura thought he was going to put his coat down in an attempt at chivalry or even lead her around it, but instead threw himself onto the ground overtop of it. All the same, Tamayayukisakura blushed, giggled and stepped on his back to get across. Aww.
Though Ryuk wasn't present through this segment. He had gone to buy a birthday present for Tamayayukisakura, regardless that her birthday wasn't anytime soon. He picked up his purchase, a small stuffed carrot, and made his way to the cashier, who was puzzled to see a floating carrot approach him. When he thought he should perhaps lay off the drugs, a piece of paper floated up and poked him. This revealed Ryuk's horrifying appearance, and caused the cashier to scream and run away. The shinigami shrugged and flew off with his stuffed carrot.
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When they got back to the tower, L was still in his distraught position, head in his hands. Light went off to do… something… and Tamayayukisakura sat down beside L. "What's wrong Leon?"
L didn't answer, or even move. He was so sick of this girl. She put a hand on his shoulder. Still no response.
"Leon?" Light walked down the stairs and glared at L.
"STOP HARASSING MY HONEY MUFFIN!!" He yelled at L. Light grabbed Tamayayuki's hand and yanked her away. Light brought himself down to L's level, though the detective didn't lift his face. "That's how it's gonna be, huh?! You want my girlfriend for yourself?!" Tamayayukisakura was too stunned to defend L from the accusations, and L was too busy retaining his sanity to point out that all she was doing was comforting him, and that it was unwanted. "Well FINE THEN! I'll kill you next time!!" Light smashed his fists into the glass coffee table again, shattering it for a second time, and stomped off like the little angst monkey he's become. Tamayayukisakura was hot on his heels again.
L remained where he was for a long time. Matsuda dropped by with cake and coffee in an attempt to cheer him up, but L now just munched on the vanilla-strawberry cake glumly. He was losing now. L had to find some way to come back on top, to fight against this Mary-Sue.
That's when that ad caught his eye.
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LOL CLIFFHANGER.
No really, I'll definitely try and update more often from now on, now that I'm passed my monster writer's block.
SO R&R?!