The Reality of Dreaming Chapter 4

You are human my dear, and humans believe the dream that love, and only love, can heal their brokenness.

In the dead of midnight, a shadow crept through the hallways of the Vongola mansion, slipping into one of the bedrooms. Mukuro had his illusions wrapped around him, erasing his existence from the minds of any who may spot him, strong enough to even render the security cameras useless. Today had been a very bad day in the Vongola mansion, a day of pain and conflict, and angry shouted heart-to-hearts.

So a very good day in his opinion.

He had been watching Sawada Tsunayoshi very carefully over the past few months. For the little puppy wasn't the only one straining and bending and cracking. Those around him weren't as innocent as they seemed, and had adapted to the harsh bloody world of organised crime better than their boss had. Sawada Tsunayoshi was a fool, a naive innocent fool who fought with 'fists as in prayer' or whatever drivel the Sky Arcobaleno had spouted.

The Ninth had yet to press the right buttons to get Sawada to do as he wished. If the Ninth only used the motivators that Mukuro knew would work, then he would be getting better results- put Tsunayoshi's Guardians or friends in the line of fire and the boy would be there in a heartbeat, defeating whatever enemies he was told by the Arcobaleno were the cause. Simple. But then again, the current results were perfect for Mukuro.

Poor little Tsunayoshi was at a rather critical time right now, one where he either bucked up and became a man, or remained the no good person he had always been. There were lots of conflicting ideas going around in his fluffy little head: the need to impress Reborn; to do what Reborn wanted him to; to live up to the expectations of the people around him; to prove himself as worth something; to be a capable man.

And on the other side: the idea that he was about to cause pain for such silly reasons; the idea that someone like him was supposed to become a big, scary, all-seeing, powerful mafia boss that he just couldn't picture; the weight of expectations that Tsunayoshi was sure he could not fulfil; the possibility that he will return to being nothing the moment Reborn leaves his side; the psychological need to socially conform and do such acts because his friends were and it was what was expected of him, even if he didn't want to do such acts; and the knowledge, that if he just sat back and did nothing, Vongola would be destroyed, and all his responsibility would magically disappear.

Anyone else would sympathise with Tsunayoshi's desire to not be a murderer and a criminal. But sadly Mukuro couldn't sympathise, nor even empathise unless he was being sarcastic.

But what he could do, was slip in whilst his dear little Mafia Boss was the most vulnerable, make use of said vulnerability and take the opportunity to attach his strings, and turn the little Mafia Boss into a puppet. Mukuro even entertained the idea of making Tsunayoshi beg for the strings to be attached and the responsibility lifted, but that would waste time he did not have, and Mukuro had other options available if he wanted his ego stroked.

But it seemed like there was blip in his plans.

A puppy shaped blip that was supposed to be asleep in his own room, not sat by Tsunayoshi's bedside guarding against nightmares.

"Turn around right now and I'll pretend that I didn't see you." Comes the low rumbling growl of the guard dog.

"Oya oya, I was wondering why you had not come to see me in such a long time. But you've been here, pushing your own problems to the side in the face of helping your boss. How... noble of you." Mukuro chuckled dryly.

"Back off Mukuro." the guard dog replied, his hackles clearly raised.

"I am afraid that is something I cannot do. I have an agenda you see and Tsunayoshi is a rather important part of it. So it is you who needs to 'back off' as you said. I do not even see why you are stopping me. It is clear that the little Mafia Boss is hurting and you know I can take all that away. You should know this better than anyone. Why would you, who so dearly loves our little Mafia Boss, be the one denying him help, be the one who allows him to keep on hurting, just because of a silly emotion like pride, which we both know you threw away a long time ago. Any pride you have is merely a mask for your wounded ego and part of the image you project to the world."

Tsunayoshi, still dreaming away, whimpered in his sleep, tossed in his bed and started throwing the covers around. The guard dog gently shook him awake before brushing the hair away from his damp forehead. "Shh, Juudaime. It's okay, it's only a dream." Mukuro remained silent, knowing that he was undistinguishable from the shadows of the room. "Go back to sleep Juudaime." The guard dog continued the gentle petting and crooning of meaningless babble until the little Mafia Boss was once again asleep.

The guard dog stood and took a step forwards, getting between his precious Juudaime and the villain standing before him. He would not let Mukuro do anything to Juudaime.

Mukuro leant forwards slightly, hand extended in a 'reasoning' posture. "Would you be more willing if I allowed you to see him every now and again? Would that make you feel better? The reasons you are stopping me are purely self-motivated. You have not been a part of the main Vongola Family long enough to have any actual loyalty for the Family itself- that's assuming that you could even feel loyalty for such an entity as a 'Family' considering your past. Any that you have is purely based around your loyalty to Sawada Tsunayoshi. What I'm going to do is beneficial for Tsunayoshi himself, removing the burden from his hands. It is only you and your worry that the person you love is about to disappear, that is logically, or un-logically should I say, driving you to stop me. So stop being so selfish, puppy, and step aside."

The guard dog took a few steps forwards, close enough that Mukuro could make his figure out in the darkness of the room, and said something that actually surprised Mukuro. Although in reality it should not have been a surprise at all.

"Take me instead."

Mukuro blinked, taking a second to actually think the proposal through. There were many logical reasons why Gokudera Hayato would do as a substitute. The actions of a right hand were less suspicious than that of a Boss. They had more freedom of movement if they so wished, yet they were also always by the Boss's side on external excursions. Right hands were privy to private meetings, personal meetings, invited to Mafia Balls and parties and such high class events, whilst also being allowed to mingle with the lower classes.

Gokudera was also a heir to a Mafia Family all of his own, assuming that Bianchi was not given the role (highly unlikely, she was too busy chasing after Reborn) and that his parents did not have any more children Mukuro didn't know about. If a Boss suddenly disappeared it would be suspicious, but Gokudera leaving could be put down to doing something for Tsunayoshi, or Reborn, or just him being his usual emotional self and demanding a few moments of privacy, being the solitary person he was. A solitary person with an all-access card.

His body was physically fit and at the peak of health- assuming those irritating 'dark days' didn't appear too often- used to fighting enough for reactions to be unconscious and flexible enough to make elaborate manoeuvres and escape danger. His weapons too were valuable and varied, mid-range weapons combined with Mukuro's illusions could make a devastating team.

And then there were the... illogical, personal reasons why Gokudera Hayato was a suitable substitute. By all means Mukuro should despise Gokudera for everything he was- a Mafia brat through and through. But instead he found himself drawn to the man. He wasn't like the rest of Tsunayoshi's pawns, he wasn't gentle or hesitant (he had found some interesting memories last time Hayato had asked for a 'session'), he knew the real world for what it was, had lost his naivety (often opposed by his wishful stupidity), and had a past that Mukuro could twist to his cause.

But more than that, he had been attracted to Gokudera, physically, for some time now and it had been hard to hold back, because attraction had not been part of his plans. The puppy was someone he wanted to possess, not spiritually like with Tsunayoshi, but something akin to materialistically or emotionally, to be able to say, with a sense of certainty, that the puppy was His.

He did not like the way the puppy would look at Sawada Tsunayoshi, and the few moments he did receive such a look because of their breathers, was simply not enough. But despite saying that, he could get such looks from his minions if he so wished, and knew it was the thought of having tamed such a monster as Gokudera Hayato that actually excited him.

Despite all of the cracks, Gokudera was not fully broken and still had some fight left in him. Despite the major emotional hostage Mukuro had, Gokudera was not afraid to fight him, or talk back to him, or to put him in his place if that was necessary. And he liked that, that little bit of a spark. It made things interesting.

He was not after another worshiper, he already had enough. But a feisty servant was something he would consider.

Mukuro was currently trying to find a reason to say no, but was coming up with rather few that actually mattered. And he could always possess Tsunayoshi at a later time if his plan really did need Tsunayoshi's assistance and he could not be manipulated by neither he nor Gokudera.

So, yes it was then.

"Kufufufu, throwing yourself straight into danger once more, uncaring of your life when Tsunayoshi is concerned. How would Tsunayoshi feel to know that? Well, it is good that, one, I won't tell him, and two," Mukuro grabbed Gokudera's arm and pulled him close. "I will take good care of you." The words were hotly whispered into Gokudera' ear, causing him to shiver involuntarily. He did not like the emotions he could hear in that statement.

Mukuro pulled Gokudera out of the little Mafia Boss' room, releasing the illusions he had been using to stop Tsunayoshi from waking up at their hushed conversation, and instead cloaking them in illusions to hide their presence from anyone watching. The journey was quick and rushed, just a few doors down the hall to Mukuro's room in the Guardian wing. It was not a room he used often, feeling too caged and penned in when staying here, but it would serve his current purpose, especially when he did not feel like traveling all the way to their base in the nearby town.

A quick illusion on the door to increase the soundproofing- or rather erasing the memory of sound from a passer-by's perception- a quick turn of the key in the lock, and then Mukuro was pushing Gokudera against the door, a dark look in his eye.

"I hope you do understand the full implications of what you have just agreed to. You are practically mine to do with as I please, and you can do nothing to stop me. One wrong step could place Tsunayoshi in danger, one wrong move could mean goodbye to the 'support' I have been giving you. I currently hold the power to crush your existence, or provide you with heaven. It all depends on you, my dear puppy."

"I may have become just another one of your pawns, but I will not go down without a fight. Don't expect me to turn into another of your worshipers." Gokudera replied, returning Mukuro's look with a hard defiant one of his own.

"Kufufu, of course not. I didn't expect anything less of you. If you remain a good boy then I will not force my will upon you and allow you to retain your freedom... unless you force my hand. Like I said earlier, I have a vested interest in you and will look after you, as long as you don't betray me."

Gokudera knew not to expect much, knew to expect to be thrown away as soon as he no longer was what Mukuro needed of him- even Chrome had not escaped that fate until she had proven Mukuro wrong. What he was not expecting, was for a hand to drag itself up his side and for lips to trail up his neck.

"This part of our... partnership, is more voluntarily. This is purely me being selfish, I'll admit that, but it could be beneficial to you too, if you want it to be. I know your deepest desires, and we both know that the relationship you desire with our little Mafia Boss can be nothing more than a dream. Despite all you have done for him during these turbulent times, he has looked at you no differently, as a friend or brother he would trust with his life, not as a lover who is holding him up. His eyes are still fixated on which ever girl he has decided on."

Gokudera growled, his hands pushing against Mukuro's arms. He didn't want to hear this! He knew his feelings would never be reciprocated, that Juudaime would never act like he did in the dreams Mukuro provided. And he was okay with that!

"Unlike me. What I can offer you will not be as sugary sweet as those dream of Tsunayoshi, but it will be something solid, something real, not an illusion... I like you after all." Mukuro leant backwards and chuckled at the look of guarded disbelief on Gokudera's face. "I will not call it love, for it is nothing like what society had defined the phenomenon as. It probably would be termed as perversion, possession, domination or something as similarly untoward. But the simple fact is that I possess some kind of feeling toward you and would like to keep you for myself."

"Some kind of feeling? That's rather vague coming from you. If you just want to get laid then you could have said so instead of making up this story." Gokudera glared back at Mukuro, not willing to take any of his shit.

Laughing once more, Mukuro soon returned to mapping out the muscles of Gokudera's chest. "I will not deny that I find you attractive and do wish to engage in a range of sexual activities with you. But if that's all I wanted, I could have asked for it as the price for your breathers. No, instead I find you entertaining, someone who can keep up with me because of your intellect, as well as being cultured. You're not put off by the atrocities I have committed because they are comparable to your time as a child hitman. You are someone I would not mind having at my side as an equal one day, in a position where I could make sure you no longer harm yourself doing the silly things you do in the name of pride, image and the Tenth."

It was actually rather weird to hear Mukuro complimenting him, usually all he heard were demeaning comments and taunts. Although being called 'entertaining' was rather insulting, especially coming from Mukuro who found the world his entertainment. Yet the last sentence had him wondering whether what Mukuro was saying was the truth, and if Mukuro actually had a heart in his empty black chest.

"I would do anything for Juudaime. It is not something to be scoffed at or ridiculed." Gokudera snaps.

"Yet time and time again you end up with injuries like these." Mukuro comments, feeling the bandages under the shirt. "You pride yourself on your loyalty and willingness to do anything in the Tenth's name, but does your little Mafia Boss actually reward you for your faithful service? Do you think he even cares for you or thinks about you when you are no longer in his sights? He had not noticed your inner turmoil even with his hyped up Hyper Intuition, despite how long we have been meeting for. Has he, even once, taken you aside and asked if you are okay?"

Mukuro let Gokudera think about that for a few moments. One of his arms rested on Gokudera's shoulder as his hand played with the soft silvery locks.

Gokudera knew Mukuro was a master of manipulation and the twisting of words, yet he felt himself falling for it anyway, feeling more panicked and confused with every second that went past. It was true that Juudaime hadn't noticed... but that was because he was busy with other stuff... learning about what monstrosities the mafia did was quite a burden, so Juudaime could be forgiven... Gokudera didn't need time to adjust like Juudaime did, t-that's all. And Juudaime did care! He had always cared, that's one of the things that had founded Gokudera's loyalty. Gokudera was just too good an actor, that's all. He wouldn't want to burden Juudaime anyways...

Crack.

"But I did. Didn't I?"

Crack.

Gokudera froze. It was true, Mukuro had noticed or else they wouldn't be having these breathers at all. Gokudera had refused the first few times Mukuro had offered, but he had submitted after hearing a little something in Mukuro's voice that Gokudera had mistaken for concern. And maybe it had been.

"Would I offer such a service if I didn't care the least little bit? I had other ways to make you submit to me if I so wished, threatening Tsunayoshi's safety the most prominent, finding blackmail another. Yet instead I gave you those dreams you so desired, whenever you desired them. Meaning that I actually made time for you. And creating such an illusion, even when dreaming, is not as simple as it sounds and requires energy to do. Why would I waste myself when there was nothing in it for me?"

Again another pause for Gokudera to think things through, because the boy worked best when given a moment to assess the situation and for his mind to tick and whir like a machine, and for it to finally spit an answer out. Mukuro kept up the physical contact, knowing that it would help to swing things in his favour. Hormones could be such useful things.

"Believe me now?"

Gokudera barely knew what to think or believe because what Mukuro had just told him sounded so preposterous, yet filled with undeniable logic. However, it could all also be accredited to being part of Mukuro's plans to possess Juudaime by getting close to him. Mukuro did nothing that was not for his own personal gain. Mukuro did not involve himself with anyone emotionally either, seeing it as a weakness, one he did not desire. Yet there had been lots of little cues as to Mukuro's feelings towards him, especially the expressions Gokudera would sometimes catch on the man's face as he woke up after a breather.

"Kufufufu, you do not seem to be doing very well, little puppy. I am getting worried. Is Mafia Life getting too hard for you? Would you like me to provide some relief?"

"Oya oya, that face again? Really, what is Tsunayoshi doing to you? You never see my gang with faces like that."

"Why? Because I want to of course. Why else?"

"What a day you have had, little puppy. It is no wonder you came to me. When the Mafia is no more, you'll never have another day like that again."

"What would you say if I offered to take you away from here?... Kufufufu, your face is quite remarkable. It was a joke my little puppy. I would never dream of taking the puppy from his master."

"Does it feel strange, little puppy, to think that I know you far better than your beloved Tenth does? Far better than anyone else?"

"Kufufufu, our little Mafia Boss never puts you to work like this, does he? It's a shame, a waste of your wonderful talents. At least someone is putting you to good use."

"I am not obliged to give you anything. I am not obliged to keep your secrets and darkest desires. I do it because I want to."

And to be honest, it might be... nice... to be 'loved' and looked after for once. And it wasn't as if he wasn't used to these happy fantasies being snatched away from him. He wouldn't care if it suddenly ended, because that's just simply what happiness did when it came to him. He was prepared for it all to come crashing down on him. So why not take the chance anyway? Mukuro already did so much for him (even if he did pay the other back with deeds and information), so why wouldn't they do a little more for each other?

Crack.

"Yes." Gokudera breathed.

Crack.

He felt Mukuro's actions pause, could practically feel the smirk crawl onto Mukuro's face, and noticed the dominating pleasure radiate from him. It wasn't surprising, Mukuro always got what he wanted in the end.

Letting his body relax, Gokudera lifted his chin a little, bearing either his lips or his neck to Mukuro's touch, whichever the other preferred. He stopped pushing against Mukuro's arms, instead letting his hands drop to his side.

So Gokudera closed his eyes, prepared himself for what was to come, and fell.

Phantom Hitman 1412

First Published: 13 May 2014