Okay, i'm really bad with updates I, I am trying to do something about that but i get distracted by things like Supernatural . But I shall try to update more regularly. Oh and the first bit if this maybe slightly OOC for Severide but my muse just wanted to torment him with all he'd done in season 1 so i just went with it. Hope you enjoy it all the same !

So, Was it Worth it?

Matt awoke in the same damp room as he had for the past...well he wasn't sure if he was honest, but it felt like days going off his stomach and headache that was constant now, even with the meagre amounts of water they'd been given him.

Well, looking on the bright side, Voight wanted him to live at least a little longer, though it probably was just to torment him about how he'd tricked Hallie and how much he was enjoying keeping Matt hostage.

He hoped that Hallie was at least safe, even if the betrayal ran deep, simmering under the surface never to find light. He still blamed himself in a way, but his mind was telling him that she'd had a choice here and she'd chosen...well he couldn't say the rest of what he was thinking lest it destroy the hold he had on his emotions. That's all he had right now.

The manacles around his wrists were heavy and his breaths were audible now, even to him. The coughing that kept him awake sent spikes of pain through his whole body when they gripped him.

Once he'd gotten over the initial physical and psychological pain of awaking up a hostage in this cold room, he'd begin a new routine of finding a way out until exhaustion set in. Though he had been sent one saving grace, he'd found a slither of some kind of metal and had been trying to unlock the manacles ever since, ignoring the scrapes he was adding to his already raw wrists.

He briefly wondered if he'd been missed on shift yet but Voight had taunted him, telling him that his team didn't need him, that they were fine without him and he'd while not completely given up on the hope of being found, it had fuel his resolve that he may need to do this on his own. He knew it was pointless to hope on the person he'd gone to in the past because he wasn't there and had pushed him far enough to give Matt Casey the impression that maybe Severide had only put up with him because Andy had been there.

With that thought in mind his hands twisted more, trying to release the chains holding him, that was until, he heard multiple footsteps behind the door.

X-Chicago Fire-X

Severide watched, guilt twisting in his stomach, as the men and women of firehouse 51, Casey's friends, walked dejectedly to their cars heading home. He knew there wouldn't be any real rest for any of them, not until Casey had been found.

The shift had dragged horribly and slowly, they'd had a few calls, regular stuff. And they'd been professional to a tee, they always were, no matter the torment in other aspects of life. All of them knew they could work together and trust each other while on a call. Which is why guilt was twisting away at him, because everyone at the firehouse had someone else they entrusted with their personal lives and such dramas that came with life, someone who would watch out for them, someone who'd watch their backs.

It had been a stark realisation earlier in the day that drove his current guilt. Who had been watching Matt's back, who had been there for him. And it had hit him like a tonne of bricks, the memories, swirling enough to make him dizzy.

Matt, while fiercely stoic and close-lipped about discussing emotions and problems, used to come to him...well, kind of...once Kelly had talked him round a bit. He would normally notice when Matt was out of sorts and practically force him to share. It just worked for them in some way that no one could explain.

But then Andy died and he'd been so wrapped up in grief that he stopped being there. When Matt had tried to talk to him, because Matt wanted to help his friend, Kelly had mentally shoved him away with all his might, not wanting that connection of friendship, which could be taken away in an instant so he'd pushed and pushed until he felt like he could handle everything again. Not realising that his need to not get attached had left Matt drifting, alone, to face Andy's death, to face Hallie breaking his heart, to face his mothers trail, to face arguments with his sister over what the right thing to do was.

And most importantly, he had left Matt defenceless because the only person Matt would really speak to was him.

And now it was killing him because the shift had been too long, because they hadn't heard anything from Gabby's brother apart from the two days worth of parking tickets on Matt's truck.

And because this had been the second shift without Casey trying to make amends with him.

Which also meant that Casey had been missing for six days with the way their shifts worked. Twenty-Four on, Forty-eight off. But to him it had been one hundred and forty four hours too long.

He had started to wonder what condition Matt would be in after that long but he'd immediately stopped, it was too hard to think about that when he remembered what Gabby's brother had said about kidnappings and survival rates.

Damn it! He pounded his fists against the table he was sat at, they had done all they could so far and with no leads to go on anything else was impossible, his gut wasn't telling him anything other than Matt was in danger. Of that he was partly grateful, at least in danger meant he was still alive.

Taking deep breaths to calm his nerves, Kelly lifted his weary body up from the chair he'd been sat in and willed his body to move towards his car so he could get his plan started.

He was going to drive around himself looking out for anything and talking to people Matt knew to see if he could find him himself, because he'd be dammed if he'd wait through another shift wondering if his friend was going to live.

And that first inkling of doubt that soared through his gut almost stopped him cold.

However, he didn't have much time to think about it when he turned to go to his car he saw a familiar figure walking towards him.

"Hallie?"

The closer she came, the more exhausted she looked, the more she looked like she'd been crying, she looked like she didn't know how to start the conversation. Severide lead her to a chair in the hope that she could help him find Matt, she'd been missing along with him so maybe if she was free then he was as well.

"Hallie, what happened? Are you hurt?" She flinched at the last question.

No, she was fine, practically unharmed...but Matt...he...but she couldn't even find the words to explain. So she shook her head sadly, trying to think of something to tell Kelly.

Severide waited, god he hated waiting but that's all he could do right now. But when she spoke, nothing in their world could have prepared him for what he was going to hear, and it didn't convince the doubt that had been gathering to go away either. In fact, it intensified it ten-fold because he knew that kind of betrayal would push Matt over the same edge that he'd done a good job of starting.

"It was all for nothing."

Her words were so soft he barely heard them, but the anguish in the whispered words hit him solidly in the chest like a wrecking ball and he knew it was going to be bad.

"What? Hallie, what was all for nothing?" His tone a measured calm mixed with need. He needed to know what had happened.

"Hallie?" He encouraged again, he was restless, he needed to be doing something right now and not sitting waiting for an answer that may not come. They were running out of time, he could just feel it now.

Hallie seemed to find some resolve and started trying to explain what had happened. "I'm sorry, Voight has him...he threatened my sister and her kids...and i couldn't risk it...i knew he'd help...knew he'd accept...I'm sorry...i shouldn't have believed him...I'm sorry"

"Hallie, wait, slow down," She wasn't making sense, they'd already figured that Matt had been taken by Voight and he'd gotten that Hallie felt responsible for it but he couldn't see why it was her fault. "It's not your fault, Voight is a nasty piece of work. Matt knows that. You didn't do anything wrong, Hallie." But Kelly saw that tears had started rolling down her cheeks.

And the answer stopped all minute movement and thought. A feeling of dread crept into his weary bones.

"I didn't even double check on my sister...I... just drugged him...handed him over...like it was nothing...I..." She looked up and had to immediately look away from Kelly, she couldn't stand the betrayal in his eyes, mostly because she knew that's how Matt felt but hadn't allowed it to show.

Severide had no idea what to say in the face of that, but something was nagging at him all the same, "You said it was all for nothing." At that she seemed to break down more, tears flowing more freely.

"Voight lied, my sister was safe...he...I...I'm sorry."

A rush of anger surged within him, he stood up sharply, causing Hallie to flinch at the sudden change in him.

"Do you know where he took him." She could see that while he wanted to have a go at her for being so stupid and believing Voight, he was controlling that for the sake of finding Matt and that made her feel worse.

Once she had found out that her sister had been safe she'd just wandered around in the dark trying to figure out what to do now, she hadn't even realised that she'd wandered to the firehouse until she'd seen Kelly.

He watched her at the question, hoping that she knew, at her solemn nod he indicated her to follow him to his car. He would call their chief and Gabby's brother on the way.

He was going to get Matt back.

Hallie's instructions were quiet, and he couldn't find it within him to offer her comfort, not after what she had done. If Matt wanted to talk to her after all this then he would think about it but he'd wait to see what Matt did about it first.

When they arrived at the place she said they'd been keeping him, his insides twisted at how close Matt had been to the firehouse, to his team, and they hadn't been able to find him. It physically hurt to know he'd been that close and helpless to the horrors he imagined Voight would put him through.

However, that didn't compare to how much it was hurting him to find the place quiet, corridors empty, walls damp and cold. His breath freezing in the air and wrapping around his voice, causing it to croak as he spoke.

"Are you sure this was the place?" He asked.

She nodded again, not able to find words at this new revelation, there had been a few people here.

Maybe, they had just left him there to be found and this would all be over.

But any hope they had was decimated when they walked into the room, blood smeared walls staring right back at them, the temperature chilling them to the core.

Hallie sobbed quietly while Kelly tried to find something that could indicate where they'd gone.

It had all been for nothing.

And now he was gone.

TBC

Yeahhh my muse is cruel but you will get another update soon! Promise! I can't stand to leave it like this...enjoy and review if you like.