-1CHAPTER FOUR: "IT'S THE PERFECT PLAN!"
Author's Note: Yes, I know, it's been a while since I've last updated. But I'm dealing with one crappy computer at home and I've got to rely on another computer to get this uploaded. I'm really sorry about the delay; I've made this chapter a bit longer than the other ones to compensate for the length of time. Enjoy.
Prickly Pines, a small rural town, nothing too special. This is also one of the areas that the Beans and Squirrels of Leaky Lake occasionally compete with each other, usually fiercely, to see which camp is better than the latter. As it stands, it's about even at the time. Yet that changed that night, when two campers, each one representing their respective camps, were not coming to compete for the pride of their camp, or cash; they were just there to have a good time.
Lazlo and Patsy had finally reached the movie theater after entering town. There was quite a big line in front of them, full of other citizens of Prickly Pines wanting to go see a motion picture on a large screen after a hard day's work.
"Looks like we're in for a long wait Patsy." Lazlo said with a mix of marginal annoyance, and an ever greater amount of coolness. Patsy was trying her best to keep her cool however. Let's face it: she is going to the movie theater, one of the three perfect dating locations, with the boy of her dreams.
Lazlo noticed that she was having a bit of a giggling fit and asked, "Hey are you alright Patsy? You seem a bit… shaky tonight." Patsy managed to regain her composure and replied, "I-I'm fine, r-r-really Lazlo I'm f-fine!" Before Lazlo could say anything else, a theater employee heard them, walked up to them and asked, "Hey wait a minute, did she say your name was 'Lazlo?'"
Lazlo and Patsy glanced at each other; they certainly were not expecting this kind of greeting. Lazlo looked back at the employee and said, "Yes… my name is Lazlo, a Bean Scout from Camp Kidney." The employee then said, "That means you took seventh place in the Prickly Pines "Make a Sculpture Out of Odd Little Twigs" contest! Didn't you get the prizes?"
Lazlo didn't know what he was talking about. "What prizes, all I got was a certificate." "Oh man," the employee stated, "They must have got lost in the mail. Every contestant in that contest receives a free pass for four at both the movie theater and Beef Lumberjacks! Since you didn't get your prize I'm gonna let you and your friend in for free!"
This certainly put a smile on both scouts' faces. "Wow, thanks sir! Can you give the other two seats for the next two kids in line?" "Absolutely. Now go on in and enjoy the movie." The employee said as Lazlo and Patsy walked into the theater.
Meanwhile, at the very end of the line, two other scouts started shoving and pushing their way to the front. It was none other than Raj and Clam. They've heard Lazlo's gift to two other kids in line for free movie passes, and this may be their only chance to get into the theater with Lazlo and Patsy.
When the rhino and Indian elephant got to the front of the line, Raj said to the employee, "Excuse me? We heard that the next two children in line could get in for free…" "V.I.P. list." Clam said in spite of randomness. The employee sighed and said, "Fine just go on in."
During the little fiasco at the line, Lazlo and Patsy each had a bucket of popcorn and a large cup of soda; they were walking down the hall to their theater where their movie was going to play. They bought their snacks thanks to taking some of Scoutmaster Lumpus' life savings. Seeing as how he used it to buy a ton of ice cream at one point in his life, Lazlo figured that it would be all right if he borrowed some as well.
The two passed a sign promoting another movie called When Dads Become Wimpy Girls. Lazlo suddenly paused when he saw the title of the movie and shouted, "Holy cow! I forgot about your dad!" "What about my dad?" Patsy asked very curiously. Lazlo nervously answered, "No offense Patsy, but you know how paranoid he gets between you and boys he doesn't know about-" He was cut off by the mongoose.
"Relax Lazlo there's nothing to worry about. He's off at a convention for tough commanders in Illinois. From where we are, it'll take him weeks to get there." Lazlo was perplexed at this, "Why will it take weeks?" Patsy calmly and smoothly replied, "As his daughter, I know that he is horrible with directions. Trust me; he's no where near here. I keep telling him that it's a good idea to ask for directions… I say we just don't think about him and have a good time here."
Lazlo took in a deep breath, exhaled, and has calmed down a bit; "You're right Patsy, we're here to have some fun. Now let's hurry, the movie is gonna start soon!" As Lazlo ran off, Patsy followed behind him. She stared at him very dreamily and thought to herself, "I can't believe it. Not only are we gonna see a movie together, but he believes in me too!
Further back the hallway, Raj and Clam were also making their way to the theater while following Lazlo and Patsy from a safe distance. Raj had the camera's strap still around his neck, and underneath his shirt; because of the general rule that no cameras are allowed at theatres. As for snacks, while Raj had only a small soda on him, Clam meanwhile had his arms full of soda, popcorn, and candy.
"Wait Raj," Clam said, "How you take picture?" Raj stopped and looked at him with a confused expression on his face. "What do you mean Clam, I just take the lens cap off, aim it at Lazlo and Patsy, and take the picture. It's that simple." Clam shook his head and said, "No, uh… no cameras in theatres!"
Raj explained, "Not to worry Clam, this movie is called The Everything You Could Ever Want in a Movie: The Movie, that means there is going to be a space scene, and hopefully a car chase; and that means that there will be flashes every now and then. When the flashes occur, I'll take the picture then, it's the perfect plan!"
Raj then continued down the hall towards the theatre where Lazlo and Patsy were now in, Clam followed along saying to himself, "Clam hopes this movie doesn't stink."
The theatre was by now about half full of people, and it was probably going to stay that way after the four young campers enter. It was either a good movie that was out for a month now, or it was a mediocre movie that has only been out for a week.
Patsy and Lazlo made their way to the near the rear of the room. They both agreed that sitting in the back would give them the best view of the giant screen, with out the displeasure of having to crane their necks up to get a look.
Raj and Clam sat two rows right behind them. Afraid that they would recognize them, they each wore one of these toy glasses with the giant nose and mustache; the ultimate disguise. Clam's however had to be tied onto him largely due to his massive nose and horns, plus he found them uncomfortable.
After everyone was settled in, the lights darkened and the normal message for theatres (No talking, no crying kids, no activated cell phones…) started playing. However, there was one guy who kept talking quite loudly into his cell phone. "So I was all like, 'dude, I knew going down the stairs in nothing but socks was a bad idea…'"
Everyone was clearly annoyed by this, and there was no employee around to take care of him. Patsy however, was the most agitated, this was her one and probably only chance to go out with Lazlo, and she was not going to let some random loudmouth ruin it for them. She got up, walked down to the man with the cell phone, grabbed him by the ear, and dragged him out into the hallway with surprisingly little effort.
After about two minutes, she came back in the theatre and took her seat next to Lazlo, followed by the everyone in the theatre cheering and applauding her for her necessary actions. After things simmered down a bit, Lazlo asked, "What did you do to that guy?" "Oh nothing serious," Patsy replied, "We just had a little talk about the importance of people's entertainment needs and the rudeness of a loudmouth."
In a closet not too far away from the theatre was the man tied up with tape over his mouth and clearly beaten to a pulp struggling to break free of the rope. And next to him was a crushed cell phone.
The previews were now over and the feature presentation was now rolling on the screen. Raj had his (well not his but Dave's) camera ready for action scenes and car chases. Clam meanwhile still had his arms full of the snacks he got from the counter. He was certainly pleased that he managed to get candy out of it. Back at Camp Kidney, there is quite a stand against sugared sweets. Chef McMuesli, Scoutmaster Lumpus, and even Slinkman were against campers having candy in camp. Therefore, this was a perfect chance to have some without the powers above him knowing about it.
At long last, the movie started to play, and the title did not disappoint the viewers. The audience laughed when something funny happened, they looked as though they were about to puke when the gory parts came on (especially if they involved chainsaws or fight scenes a la Kill Bill) screamed when something either scary or suspenseful happened, clapped along with the song during the musical, fell asleep during the poorly directed scenes, had their attention closely fixed during the well directed scenes, and they all cried when a sad moment came into view. All this under the first thirty minutes.
Then the moment of truth came for Raj: a car chase on the top of a space ship during a massive space battle above Saturn… IN 3D!
Raj pulled out his camera aimed it carefully at Lazlo and Patsy, and had his finger ready for when a flash occurred. An explosion flashed on the screen and it lit up the whole room, and Raj took the shot without anyone noticing.
Fifteen minutes later, the movie credits started to roll and the audience began to file out of the room, except for Raj and Clam, who have decided to say behind to review their photo.
"Alright Clam," Raj said with much enthusiasm, "I've got it! Now let's see how it came out…" They both looked at the photo, and each had a confused look on their faces, followed by Raj frowning in a agitated style. The photo didn't quite turn out as how he expected it would. The flash from the screen blinded the lens on the camera, thus making the photo completely white.
With that Raj set the camera down next to Clam, and started to bang his head on a nearby wall while Clam said to himself, "Whatever…" and continued to devour his box of chocolate covered grapes.
Meanwhile, outside of the theatre, Patsy and Lazlo both sat on a bench outside and discussed the movie. "I thought that movie was pretty good," Lazlo said, "Sure some of the lines in it were cheesy, but overall it was not bad. Though I seriously don't know why they put the North Pole in New York City, or why Santa was wearing a SWAT uniform. But at least they managed to save Christmas in the end! How about you Patsy?"
"Oh um…" Patsy paused on her reply, "I liked it, but to me it lacked romance." She was of course hoping to see some major romance scenes where she would then imagine Lazlo and herself in those roles in her mind.
Lazlo then remembered that he also had passes for four for Beef Lumberjacks. "Hey Patsy I've read these Beef Lumberjacks passes, and they expire tonight, we better not put these to waste!" Patsy perked up, a restaurant: number two of the three perfect dating locations.