CHAPTER FIVE: IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?!
Author's Note: I really had fun writing this chapter. For this I've borrowed two jokes from the show Scrubs as some of you will see.
Raj stormed out of the theater followed by Clam. Raj was furious at his failed photo shot. "I can't believe it, all of that hard work, for what?!" He looked down at his camera and said, "You stupid piece of-!" He was cut off by Clam, who was pointing at two familiar figures in the distance. "Look, near Beef Lumberjacks!"
Beef Lumberjacks was a well known restaurant in Prickly Pines. It is owned and operated by a large bear in green flannel. And he takes the word lumberjacks seriously, by cutting the beef up with a chainsaw!
Raj grabbed his fake glasses and slipped them on, and told Clam to do the same and follow him. Clam groaned at the fact that he again had to wear the glasses that were tight in his large nose. "Uncomfortable!" he yelled. Raj turned around and said, "Clam we don't have time for any of your clothing difficulties. Now let's go!"
Meanwhile, Lazlo and Patsy had just gone inside of the restaurant and presented their door man with their free passes. And just like the movie theater, Lazlo offered the next two seats for the next two children. As Lazlo and Patsy made their way to their seats, they noticed a man eating very sloppily and using absolutely bad manners at the table.
"Ugh, can you believe that guy?" Patsy asked. Lazlo responded, "I know, I mean who in the right mind would behave like that while eating around others?" Patsy nodded in agreement, of course they were both wrong about that…
LAZLO'S FLASHBACK
In Camp Kidney's mess hall, the campers were forced to have Chef McMueslie's "Celery and Brocoli Cabbage Surprise." But at least there were other edible items on the menu for lunch. As Edward walked to the table that had Chip and Skip, he passed Jelly Cabin's table, pause and said to them, "Don't tell me you idiots are doing your stupid Siamese twin thing again…"
"Edward, I do believe you mean…" Lazlo said, as he was in the same shirt as Raj and Clam with their three heads coming out of the top, with Lazlo in the middle, with Raj and Clam's arms to the sides. "…the multi-species Siamese triplet camper." Clam yelled out, "Bite!" Raj's hand fed to Clam's mouth a nice and red apple, followed by him saying, "Mmm.. that's going straight to our joint colon... sip please!" Clam's hand poured white milk down Raj's throat with Lazlo and Clam giving a big relief sigh as they did it. Edward groaned and walked away.
PATSY'S FLASHBACK
At Acorn Flats' mess hall, it was breakfast for lunch day and the three Squirrel Scouts that people care about were at a table enjoying themselves. As Gretchen got up to get more orange juice, Patsy and Nina have already came up with a great meal prank to pull on her. Patsy lifted one of Gretchen's pancakes as Nina sprinkled garlic and salt on top of the one underneath it. Then Patsy slowly put the pancake back down and pretended they did nothing as Gretchen came back…
She sat back down, took her fork and jabbed into the pancakes. She lifted a good sized piece and put it in her mouth. After chewing for a couple of seconds, she flinched, then suddenly, her eyes jolted open and she screamed with fire coming out of her mouth as she ran to the lake to get some water. Patsy and Nina followed, laughing their lungs out at what they just pulled off.
Patsy and Lazlo sat at their table looking at their menus, as Patsy said, "People just don't know how to behave anymore…" Lazlo responded, "You said it."
Meanwhile, on the other side of the restaurant, were two other Bean Scouts with their menus held up to cover their faces. Raj peeked over his menu and managed to spot the Bean and Squirrel couple. He already had a plan in action, his plan was to sneak into the air vents in the bathroom and find a place just above their table. From there he would be able to get a good snap shot of the couple.
"Alright Clam, I'm going to start Operation: Triangle of Confusion." Just as Raj was about to leave, Clam spoke up. "Eh, what about Circle of Confusion?" Raj stared back at him with an extremely confused look on his face. "What?" "Triangles are stupid, circles are awsome!" Clam responded with a sense of goofy joy. Raj moaned as he marched off to the bathroom.
Back at the other major table, Lazlo ordered a hamburger with coleslaw, fries, and a glass of Diet Professor Salt. Patsy meanwhile ordered the same thing, except with a small salad and a glass of water. As their waiter brought them their dinner, he told them, "Oh by the way, we're having a bit of a ketchup shortage. We only have one bottle left, so if you need it, call out 'ketchup!' and someone will throw it to ya now. Enjoy your dinner."
As the waiter left to continue his work, Lazlo and Patsy each shot a rather confused glance at each other, then they heard someone yell, "Ketchup!" And they both turned to see a flying bottle of ketchup head towards a man in a baseball coaching uniform, who then grabbed it and handed it to a group of young boys who have appeared to have been celebrating after a baseball game.
Patsy and Lazlo each gave a realization "Oh..." after seeing how this system works in front of them, but they had to try it for themselves. Patsy got up in her seat and yelled, "Ketchup!" And just like that, the baseball coach threw to her the bottle and she caught it. Amazed that it worked, she sat back down and squirted ketchup on her fries and burger; where she then handed it to Lazlo and he did the same. "Ketchup!" cried a woman just nearby, and Lazlo threw it to her.
Lazlo then looked up and said, "So Patsy, I know that you don't like to do any girly stuff, I just want to know, how come you hate girly stuff? I'm just curious."
Patsy replied, "It's not that I hate that sort of thing, it's just that... well... I feel I need to do my own thing. I mean, just because I'm a girl that doesn't mean I have to do a ton of girly stuff, except my hair of course."
Lazlo perked up after taking a sip from his drink and said, "That's almost exactly how I feel! I mean, with having the choice between fun and rules that is." Patsy was just about to continue with her conversation with him until she saw what the waiter was bringing for another customer. It was philly cheese steak! She flinched, but also knew that it was far away from her. Lazlo however noticed her shrivvling and eying the steak. Is that what I think it is?!
"Patsy, are you feeling alright? You're shaking again." Some yelled for the ketchup, and as it flew through the air, it bounced off a ceiling fan and it landed on the philly cheese steak platter. That in turn caused it to fly in the air and land just five inches from Patsy's feet. She shrieked, lept from the seat and dashed as fast as she could out of the restaurant.
Cheese, one of Patsy's greatest weeknesses. Unbelievable to most people, Patsy was allergic to cheese, just the smallest gram can cause her to bloat and cause uncontrolable drooling.
As Patsy ran for dear life, she caused tables and chairs to fly up in the air and one of the chairs hit the air vent, causing an elephant to fall out of it and land in a bin of garbage. It was none other than Raj, just as he was about to get a snapshot of the odd couple. Lazlo never noticed him however, as he dashed out after Patsy trying to catch up with her. "Patsy wait up!" he yelled.
Raj meanwhile slowly climbed out of the bin, with Clam watching from the other table with his mouth covered with barbeque sauce. With the restaurant looking like a tornado hit it, Clam yelled out, "Ketchup!"