April Fools' (1)

Kido always hated April Fools' Day. It was never a good experience, to be living with one of the most notorious pranksters in the Dan. Kido was scared of the day, terrified even. Every year, Kano seemed to have taken it upon himself to make the day's horrors worse. Every single year, more and more elaborate schemes piled up on top of each other, sending Kido's anxiety through the roof. Whether it was the raging inferno that didn't set their apartment on fire to the accidental discovery of sharks in the bathtub, Kano was certainly a very creative individual.

So once more, the day approached, and Kido waited in dread. What marvelous contraption of chaos had Kano planned this year? Was he going to wake her up at 12:00am with a firecracker that would set fire to her bed again? Maybe Kano would leave a present waiting for her somewhere, the kitchen maybe? She was lucky, if that word was even applicable here, that this year, school didn't fall on that terrible April first. Being publicly humiliated, even for the 'ghost' was never an entertaining experience.

Kido had one hope, however maligned it was. In the introduction of five new members, maybe, just maybe, Kano would take the day to greet them in his favourite manner, with a soul crushingly painful prank. The blonde certainly enjoyed tormenting Shintaro, but was that desire strong enough to divert Kano's attention? Kido hoped so, but knew in the end that it was just wishful thinking.

On March 31st, at 11:30pm, Kido stared at her phone, and willed the awful day to disappear from her life. At the Dan, they could all do without some of Kano's antics. Yet, despite her most earnest wishes, Kido's pleas could do nothing to the flow of time, and the clock ticked, every second coming closer to the fateful day. Twenty minutes, ten minutes, five minutes, one. Thirty seconds, twenty, ten, and… none.

On April 1st, at 12:00am, Kido closed her eyes, prepared for the screams, the laughter, and the blonde's oh-so-carefree laughter. What she got however, was a quiet peaceful midnight. From her bed, covers tucked all the way up to her neck to prevent any dangerous liquids from spilling on her, Kido heard nothing. Kido heard nothing of Marry's screams, she couldn't get a single tip of Kano's running. Kido detected nothing from Seto's neighboring room, nor from Kano's on the opposite side. Suspicious.

At 1:00am, Kido was still mostly awake, uncertain and fearful. Kano had, in the past three years, never missed the opportunity to prank her on the brink of the new day, saying that it would've 'wasted a perfectly good part of April Fools' Day' if he hadn't. Did he really intend to waste part of April Fools' Day? No, Kido should be happy. Kido should've be happy that he hadn't pranked her, or bombed her, or dropped a lizard on her, but why was she so uneasy? The lack of such actions made her all the more weary of a big one.

At 3:00am, Kido was reaching her limit. Barely able to keep her eyes open, Kido might've just been better off sleeping and waking to her walls painted a shade of indecent with certain magazines, but that would be conceding to Kano. No, Kido would have to keep up her vigil. It was for the Dan, and her sanity. Mostly the latter.

At 11:20am, Kido awoke, realizing immediately that something was wrong. Natural light streamed in from the window, illuminating a regular looking room. There were no bombs, no steaming pots of goats' eggs, nothing. It was her room. Kido rolled over to the side of the bed, checking the ground for any traps. Nothing. Nothing, nothing, and nothing. Not even under the bed. What had Kano spent the night doing then?

At 11:30am, Kido realized that her room was, to the best of her ability, completely and utterly prankless. It was void of any idiot activity. Kido had searched for a good ten minutes, but came up with nothing. Underneath her bed there was nothing but Marry's worse poems (confiscated for her own good), the closet was arranged exactly how she had left it, and everything else seemed to be right in place. Still, there was a tingling sense of forgetfulness in the back of her mind, although Kido was clueless as to what it was… right.

Although Kano was perfectly capable of cooking on a daily basis, Kido was always shafted with the role due to fear of Kano testing out his wonderful ability to experiment by mixing soy sauce with vinegar and ginger ale. A little bit of MAX coffee sometimes for all the tastes of the rainbow and guaranteed vomit. Kido pitied Seto, to wake up to Kano's cooking. Kido could never tell whether or not Kano truly enjoyed his 'wonder mixtures' or not, but they were always in every meal he prepared.

It was with a heavy heart and despairing stomach that Kido left her room, always mindful of the possibility of a spitwad flying out from the shadows to bombard her. Yet, no matter how cautious Kido was, she never found a single bit of any prank. It was just as suspicious as Kano not trespassing into her room on April Fools', because it was one of those things never happen no matter how many times you pray for it.

"Good morning!" Kano greeted her, his grin deceptively wide as he offered her an omelet, chopsticks neatly balanced on the plate. Kido frowned, taking the omelet, but not touching it.

"Is something wrong?" Kano asked, as he smiled with his irritating smile.

"No." Kido replied quickly, not wanting to bring up the subject of April Fools' Day. Who knows, maybe Kano forgot this year. Maybe he just upped and lost track of his favourite day of the year. Kido nibbled on the omelet. Delicious. Where was the poison? Where was the biological pains from tasting four different extremes at once? The ghost pepper, the syrup, where were the torturous tastes?

"Isn't it great?" Kano gloated, as he propped his elbows onto the table to stare intensely at Kido eating her breakfast. What was he watching so closely for? A reaction? A gag reflex? Vomit? Was Kido's hair going to change colour?

"Yes." Kido answered simply, afraid of where the conversation was going. Had Kano truly forgotten? Could life be so kind?

"Have to love April, it's the time of spring." Kano interjected, raising the fear once more. It was clear that he hadn't lost his touch, nor had Kano let the day escape from him. Kido had no idea why she hadn't felt greasy egg yolks pound her from a homemade catapult, or the burn of charcoal hidden in her slippers.

Kido, ever so wary of the danger that Kano posed, gulped down the delicious omelet and began to wash the dishes immediately. There were no crabs in the sink, no other creature either. Just dishes and cutlery. How cunning. Was Kano's plan to ease her into negligence until he could pull the biggest prank of all onto her? Well, something as childish as that wouldn't work on her. Years of Kano's tricks would make anyone clever enough to see through a ruse like this. The big one was coming, and it was going to be huge.

"Ah-" Kido said, before she realized that the blonde was already gone. Very mysterious. Could he have perhaps left to go ensure that his preparations had gone smoothly? Surely Kano was still in the apartment somewhere, tending to the biggest, best prank he'd ever pulled. It was just too bad that Kido had realized this soon. Maybe it was something in the bathroom, since every other room Kido would frequent seemed to be scot-free of any plans.

This time, Kido would beat Kano at his own game. She would find and sabotage anything that Kano did, all the while keeping tabs on her own things and their placement. Of course Kano was going to put it somewhere he knew she would go, so naturally Kido had to act a little out of the ordinary. Maybe she'd visit the Kisaragi siblings, rather than finishing the assignments from school on time. Still, that would give Kano time to prepare. Was it worth taking the risk? The preparations could have already been complete, for all Kido knew. Kano was never one to sloppily prank others.

Kido, weighing the odds, figured that it was more safe to just go to the Kisaragi household, because for all the good she could do at in the apartment, Kano was probably one step ahead of her. After all, Kido had slept in, giving him plenty of time to do whatever it was he needed to do. By dropping into the Kisaragi's, Kido would get the perfect excuse to leave the apartment, in a 'natural' way. Kano would suspect nothing.

So, to go with the holiday, here's the April Fools' chapter! Unfortunately, I couldn't actually finish it today (procrastination), so here's the first half.